A review of "Once A Special Place" – 237 words
Thank you for sharing this vision of primordial beauty and life, its imprint on the spirit and Mother Earth there for one who cares to see it!
Reading aloud, as a free form poem I do not seek rhyme, but a rhythm of images that flows, painting a picture with words or relating a story. I see Nature's painting unfold with the coming dawn, awakening, then building in intensity. Despite the merciless attempts to destroy the nascent beauty, it remains alive, a promise
I see some rhythm in the flow of images, and would suggest perhaps a few pauses (commas, or semicolons) to focus the reader’s eye and ear to hear the vibrant sounds. For example, second line, “Loneliness creeping defeats itself, battling the buoyant…” and the next line, “The forest awakens gently, unfettering the floral delight; inviting all…”
Also, for rhythm to the ear, consider for consistency, holding the same tense in a stanza, i.e., “Vines and ferns seek ever upward, lead me to the summit;…” (in place of ‘leading’ – more passive, dropping the rhythm); and in the final stanza, consider the sound of “eyes resting, sensing busyness of life, harmonious” (dropping ‘and’ for harmony of rhythm).
Thank you for a beautiful journey to a place of ‘promise’ and ‘Spirit’s guarantee’ that even on a chill winter’s day “The day sends upward the sun, filtered by needles and cones.” (I just love that image, so tangible.)
Thank you for sharing this poignant, powerful work, and welcome to WDC^_^
Keep Writing!
Kate
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Kate - Writing & Reading
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
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