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3,125 Public Reviews Given
3,266 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
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Public Reviews
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Review of An Old Man  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Bonnie ...

I enjoyed this. It tells a story, one which society needs to hear. Here's a few thoughts for you ...

Verse 1: "Asking for spare change from people he's never met." Maybe it's just me but it seemed redundant. Would he be asking for change from people he knew? *BigSmile* What are you really trying to say? I'd delete the line and combine verses 1 and 2.

Verse 3. "Still society is blind to him." I'll quibble with you over the word "still." It implies that his expression, tattered clothes, and unkempt appearance was a cry to be noticed rather than a condition of his existence apart from the rest of the world.

Verse 4. "Suddenly a great loud noise rings out" ????? I'm sure you had a picture in your mind but it didn't translate to the page. Was this a gunshot, did he get run over, where did the sound come from and how did it cause his death? You speak of ignorance and greed. How did greed impact him? I don't equate keeping 50 cents or a dollar in my pocket as greed.

Hope this helps you look at this from a reader's viewpoint.

Ken


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Review of The Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Bonnie *Heart*

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. It's been hectic lately!

Now, as for your poetic efforts - loved it! I'm a wolf-person at heart and this was right up my alley. I think you've captured the essence of the lone wolf but I challenge you to go deeper. Get into it's head, it's emotions (base as they may be), and really put us in the mind of the beast. Let us feel the hunger, the blood lust, the cold as you interpret the wolf for us.

Just a thought *BigSmile*

Ken


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Review of TIME  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Angus

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "TIME" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
You've been so kind to review so many of my works that I thought I'd return the favor. After reading this, I wonder why I've waited so long. A terrific story!

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed this. I love the mixture of history and the focus on American Indians and their strong ties to nature. Very poignant, very touching.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Written as Flash Fiction, you've managed to write a total story in 300 words or less. I don't think a lot of our audience understands what a challenge that is. I do. *BigSmile* This story focuses on the aftermath of the tragedy where white men have used mass destruction to conquer native Americans. We see this through the eyes of a survivor as she remembers both the death of her tribe and the destruction of the land.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Your writing is superb. The technical side showed the same care as the emotional side in this touching and poetic story. There's nothing I could suggest that would improve this. Great job!

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a wonderfully complete read. Your mastery of this short form and enthusiasm for the subject comes through clearly. I found myself taken by the story. My only criticism is that it's too short *Laugh*. I recommend that the next "What A Character" should include an expanded version of this. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of The Branch Theory  Open in new Window.
for entry "The Naked News ?" Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Muzzy *Laugh*

To answer your question ... evidently anything that will draw viewers *Laugh*. Now, had this been real, I would probably have watched it ... but only out of curiosity. *cough, sputter*

I appreciate your sarcasm and I'm sure if Roger Ailes was still in charge, he would have approved this in a heartbeat! *Rolling*

Keep writing and poking fun at the absurdity that swirls around us ...

Ken


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi The Ink Maiden~

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Not Broken, Just You" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Oookayyyy *Confused* I enjoyed the story but found it quirky for a number of reasons (which, I promise I won't keep a secret *Laugh*) I think you and I write in a similar fashion. It felt like you were watching a movie and rather than telling the story, you were describing the film as if unfolded.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
There were flashes of creativity here but I don't feel you capitalized on them. You hinted at things not explained or even addressed and I wanted to know more! *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a story about two ... somethings. *Smile* The characters - Parker and Persephone - interact over Parker's nightmare. The relationship seems, at first, to be between a mother and child but it soon is revealed that both are adults. There is clearly an emotional bond between them but is it love or something else. You hint that they are not human such as in "his antennae drooped shyly" but you never give the reader anything more. Are they insects or aliens? You even hint they may not be the same species as Persephone "nuzzles his neck" which doesn't seem consistent with antennaed beings. To be honest, I had them pegged as Preying Mantis's and fully expected her to devour him at the end *Laugh*. I felt you left too many questions unanswered in the character's themselves and that really distracted from the emotional edge that you clearly had in mind.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
As I said at the start - it felt like you were watching a movie and rather than telling the story, you were describing the film as if unfolded. You wrote this in the present tense which has the feel of immediacy and departs from a more traditional story form. On the bright side, you're dialogue is wonderful and really conveyed the emotions of your characters. I found it natural and easy to relate to. Believe it or not, most writers find dialogue difficult but you did a masterful job with it.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm for your characters comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. The use of present tense and the hints that this was something other than human interactions, however, really distracted from the story line. I found myself more focused on who they were and what the relationship was than on the interaction that was the true heart of the story. I think, with a little rework and some further explanation, this could really be a good story. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi 💙 Carly: poems & novel

It's just me, Ken, and I warned you *Laugh*.It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Resolutions Not Abandoned " Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window.. Consider this a belated "Birthday Review" as well.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
You're my kind of gal! *Rolling* I can identify with the frustration as well as the indifference you've penned in this. I definitely got the humor as well; it's a great way to say what's on your mind without coming across as someone who - when it comes to resolutions - just doesn't give a ... Oooops, *Blush* almost broke a resolution *BigSmile*.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
The humorous slant you gave this adds to the impact. On the creativity front, I give you 5 *Star*! Anyone who includes B-52's and Beer in a poem gets high marks from me. *Ha*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This was both an answer to a prompt (which resolution did you NOT break) and also a poke in the eye at those who make the silly things in the first place. You captured shredded the "biggies" - weight loss, exercise, swearing, and having a more generous heart with a deft sense of humor and self-deprecation. Loved it! *BigSmile*

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules.

All that said, it's not just prose or a story with random line breaks. Every choice you make should have a purpose to take your ideas or the reader forward. I didn't get that from reading this. The key to good free verse is consistency. If you're going to capitalize each line, then capitalize all the lines. If you're going to use punctuation, use it throughout.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your mastery of self effacing humor and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself laughing. My one hesitation is that I didn't feel this was a true poem. Read some of the masters like Whitman or Dylan Thomas and you'll see what I mean. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year ... both calendar-wise and in life.

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of More Lysol!  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

It's just me, Ken. I saw you posted this in the Newsfeed so I'm guessing you wanted some eyes on it. *BigSmile* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "More Lysol!" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Eight years since you wrote this ... and you still have't been caught! *Rolling* Dark humor, indeed! My favorite kind.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
What a wonderful response to the prompt - exactly what I would have done. As you can tell, this is going to be a very positive review. *Laugh*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
A crime of passion, a moment of anger, a can of Lysol. Yep, that pretty much covers it. *Laugh* You present this as a complete story and your use of identical opening and closing verses was well thought out - the second iteration in light of the story adds new meaning and insight.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Obviously, you are an accomplished poet. Written in monorhyme quatrains, I thought you did a fantastic job. I'm the first to admit that I'm "iambically challenged" *Laugh* so I won't comment on the meter other than to say you kept true to the tetrameter form. Your rhymes are solid perfect rhymes and show imagination and skill.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a totally enjoyable read. Your mastery of the form, dark sense of the absurd, and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling throughout. I think this was underrated and the sheer cleverness of your response to the prompt and skill in writing was seriously overlooked. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of Ruin Down House  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Bet

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Ruin Down House" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Well, it's about time you posted something. You've made me wait over a year! *Laugh* Yes, I'm just teasing you. I'm not sure what part of Maryland you live in but this was very poignant and reminded me of Baltimore. So much disillusionment, so much neglect.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoy "everyday" poetry that captures these little vignettes about life around us. Too often they go overlooked. Perhaps we, as a society, don't want to see them because they show us our own failings but it's important that we recognize them.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This poem is a commentary on everyday America. I saw it reflecting the inner-city but, in truth, it's about the state of our country everywhere. We see the old, neglected houses and call them a blight but fail to see the ghosts of happier times that haunt them. I think you did a good job in bringing them to light.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules.

Let's start with the title: "Ruin Down House." This sounds like a colloquialism to my ears. Most often I hear it referred to as "Run Down House." I'll admit, the title is what attracted me to your poem *Smile* and that's what it's supposed to do.

Free verse poems are not written as observations or stories and then broken into lines. The final form is not what makes it a poem; it is the simultaneous use of vocabulary, punctuation, and line break. As I read your poem, I wondered why you chose to break the lines where you did. Every nuance should be done for a reason; to add emphasis or to make it flow.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm for the subject and poetry comes through clearly and I found myself emotionally involved. You have captured the emotions of the moment very well. My one hesitation is that I didn't feel that there was a consistent message in this. You raise questions - why was it abandoned, what happened to the occupants, but you leave us hanging. I felt there needed to be something more even if it was just a line on how tragic it was and how it made you feel. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of True Self  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Nalthur

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "True Self" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
A coming out story. Very emotional and enjoyable ... as a story. I didn't see this as a poem, however.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed the way you brought to light his changes by using his own emotions as the foil and then supporting them with actions. Very well told!

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a coming out story. I really enjoyed that she came out to herself first, finding peace with her decision and gathering strength and self-assurance so there were no doubts.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Free verse is not poetry without form or rules. It is not written as an essay or story and then broken into lines. The final form is not what makes it a poem; it is the simultaneous use of vocabulary, punctuation, and line break. Proper use of the tools of poetry helps to mold a piece to its final state. Simply story telling, then adding line breaks does not constitute a poem.

Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your mastery of story telling is evident and I found myself smiling as I read this metamorphosis tale. My recommendation is that you do a little reading on free-verse and then try again. This tale, on the other hand, should be turned into a true story. It is a great tale and worthy of being told. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of Dreaming Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi the_nomie

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Dreaming Moon" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
First - and foremost *BigSmile* - Welcome to WDC! I'm so glad you found us and wish you well on your journey of discovery. Now, about the poem ... I felt you captured the dreaminess of feelings as you allowed the emotions of the moment to touch you. Very nice.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed that this was nature focused and dealt with how the moment touched you. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This was fairly straight forward and dealt with your feelings about the moon as you allowed its light beyond your eyes. *Smile* I really like your comparison of the luminosity to "scattered time fragments." I thought that unique and brilliantly stated.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free; 'its only freedom is from the tyrant demands of the metered line'. Free verse displays some elements of form. As in this case, it's self-evident that you chose emotionally rich words and you kept the poetic feel of this. A word of caution - I noticed that you used punctuation in some places and not in others just as you used capitalization of each line except one. It's a minor thing but consistency is one of the keys to good free-verse.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your mastery of emotion and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of Psyche is P  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Moh'd

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Psyche is P" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Psyche is P. The title drew me in because I found it amorphous, not lending itself to easy understanding. As I read, I kind of got what you were saying but not entirely.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I'm sure I've missed some of the nuances of your poem since I have no context in which to understand it. I'm guessing you're from Nigeria and this is a lament about what you see happening in your country. It would have been helpful had you filled out your biography (hint, hint *Smile*) That said, I think many will relate to this.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
The essence of your poem appears to me to be an admonition against relying on religion as a cure-all for the problems we face. You stress that it has its place but in itself, it's not an answer. I found the line "we pray more yet see less, we pray more yet hear less, we pray more but feel nothing" especially telling. You detail the evolution of progress and wonder why we haven't embraced it, instead falling back into ignorant ways with statement like "make knowledge your priority, open your mind to impossible possibilities guided by principles." I felt like "Solutions are in the minds we have reduced to praying machines rather than innovative engines." was at the heart of your work.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free; 'its only freedom is from the tyrant demands of the metered line'. Free verse displays some elements of form which, other than enjambment, I didn't see. You have many threads in this tapestry of words and it felt more like you were writing this "stream-of-consciousness" rather than trying to organize this into a coherent whole so that the reader will understand your message.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enlightening read. You've certainly imbued it with emotion and that carries throughout the poem. I really feel that you need to define your message; Is it about how man has been given an opportunity to embrace progress or is it about how we hide from it? Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

I see you're new to the site. Welcome to WDC! I hope that you find us helpful and encouraging and that you will continue to write and grow!

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review of Canvas  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Rhoswen - Relentless Victory

My name is Ken (OK, you knew that *Smile*) and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Canvas" Open in new Window. on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" Open in new Window..

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
A nice poem that relates colors to the variances of our lives. I'd never thought of life as a Jackson Pollock  Open in new Window. painting. *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed that you were able to add sensory aspects to your poem. It opens the poem up to the visual realm and stimulates the reader's imagination. The title, "Canvas," was very descriptive and works well in portraying the images your words capture. You link it within the poem with the first line.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
You've used strong imagery and sharply defined words (crimson, pine, sapphire) to bring a vibrancy to the images you portray. In a few places, I felt you may have gone beyond the reader's ability to identify with your words as in "Plush red." In particular, that stopped me since I don't see red and plush together. A lot of that will reside with the reader and their own feelings and perspectives on color. Still, you are the poet and it's your meaning that fills the page.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free; 'its only freedom is from the tyrant demands of the metered line'. Free verse displays some elements of form. As in this case, it's self-evident that you continued to observe a convention of the poetic line in some sense through versification, enjambment, and a continuing linkage from verse to verse. You kept the poetic feel of this and that's the key to good free-verse.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this an enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. My one hesitation is that I didn't feel that there was a consistent message in this. Was it about God's hand in the painting or our own choices that paint the picture as seen in your line "vibrant rainbows splash into our wake?" Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Although I think you were too kind ... *Laugh* Nicely done. A great form and perfect for the subject.

Good job, Ben ...

Ken


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
And to all a good night! *Laugh*

I enjoyed your mock interview with Santa and, while I never knew he was a head, it actually made sense. I mean, a guy who spends a "magical night" each year staring at a reindeer's butt ... well, you get the idea *Laugh*

Well done. Who knew Texan's had a sense of humor?

*Santahat* Ken *BigSmile*


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Review of The Rating  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You were wise beyond your years when you wrote this ... Think how much wiser you've become since then *Laugh*. OK, maybe I'm being just a bit of a nit LOL.

This is actually very well written. No, not perfect, but certainly above average *Pthb*

Thank you for sharing ... now, get back here and write some more!

*Hug* Ken


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Review of Mayday!  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Chris (or Marvin *BigSmile*)

Nicely done. Since I'm a participant in the SETI program, I obviously enjoyed this tale. I thought the ending would have been a little more forceful without the "Meanwhile, back at the ranch ..." which I think borders on stereotype ... but that's me *BigSmile*. As an alternative, use a brief description of Gorgon peering into the computers, add a touch of his spaceship surroundings, you know - paint a dark picture to maximize the impact. Just a thought.

Some nitpiks:

Opening paragraph you wrote "...and not total waste ..." maybe "and not (a) total waste"
Para 11 - "I am inn great danger." "inn" should be "in"

Most enjoyable ... and a great response to the prompt. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Ken

PS SETI doesn't use initials - just SETI. No idea why *Laugh*


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ich bin ein Berliner! Oh - *Blush* - someone already said that *Laugh*. Lived in Erlensee near Fliegerhorst for 3 years. Wonderful experience!


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Did you get this from the Russian hack? *Laugh* ... of course not, it's about the Donald and we know whose side Putin's on *Rolling*. I saw a wonderful post today from a restaurant offering the Trump Sandwich - two slices of white bread, lots of baloney, topped with Russian dressing ... and a small pickle LOL. Great write. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

Ken


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Kudos to both you *Smile* A lovely poem about the fragility of life ... and promise of infinity.


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautifully done ... and I learned a new word *Laugh* Incarnadine ~ [in-kahr-nuh-dahyn, -din, -deen]
blood-red; crimson. which I'm sure I will steal at some point and use myself *Rolling*

I love that you've added so many sensual layers to this. It really brought me to those exotic shores.

Well done, my friend ... well done!

Ken


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Review of Doggie Time  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey Petra *BigSmile*

How are you? Well, I hope. Cute story about you and Moses, capturing a small slice of life. If I had to guess, I'd say the reception to this is mixed because some folks will say "what's the point?" I think they miss the point LOL. It's obvious that you and Moses are devoted companions and his happiness and well being are integral parts of who you are.

I thought you did an excellent job of writing this. It's clear, captures this moment in enough detail so that readers will understand your relationship, and ends on a humorous note. You can't do much better than that without straying into the realm of fantasy *Laugh*. Your style is "conversational" which I think makes this very accessible to the reader.

A very enjoyable read, my friend ... Thank you for sharing.

Ken


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Not bad for an "off the top of my head" write *BigSmile* Monty, you never cease to amaze me, my friend. Whether writing or life, I guess ... there comes a time.

Let's hope ours is still a long way off *Laugh*

With warmest regards,

Ken


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Review of The Present  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nicely done *Smile* I was wondering what to get the wife for her birthday *Laugh* Not too sure about the handcuffs ... but a man can dream *Rolling*

Great story, well told and deserving of the win NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ Congratulations!

Ken


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Review of Dancing Tears  Open in new Window.
Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Crissy

Saw your posting and couldn't resist *Laugh* I'm one of those who never goes back. Just can't bring myself to it although occasionally I'll reread and go *FacePalm* really? Did say that? *Laugh*

While I enjoyed the emotional content, I'm wondering why you combined lines 3 & 4 in the first two verses but didn't in the rest. There's a visual element to each write and I'm just not sure *Confused* why you presented this in the form you did.

I'd also recommend that you look at each line. Typically, the end of a line is a pause point unless you're consciously using enjambment. For example, line 1 verse 4. You add a pause with the comma but add an additional word which seemed to break the thought "truest in their innocent form" by separating truest from the rest.

Mind you (I do LOL) you're the poet and this is your gift to us all. I did enjoy it and do thank you for sharing your emotions and talent with me today.

Wishing you the best,

Ken


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Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Neva *Smile*

Interesting ... and, a bit telling *Laugh* I think all of us have a bit of the "primordial" in us. Of course, we seldom admit it, hiding it under guise of politeness. Well, until lately. I see a lot of folks shucking off their sheep's clothing!

Great imagery and strong emotional content. Very enjoyable. It did, however, leave me with a few questions: How do these feelings show up in your everyday life - or do they? Why is this "racial"? I think you could take this another step.

Wishing you the best,

Ken


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