What made me what to review this piece: I really wasn't looking for something to read and came across the newsletter and what to my surprise while I in my nightgo. wn and my husband in his herchief...not reindeers but a wonderful short story about the dying of the muse. This my dear is what I call talent--it read so smoothly nothing about it was amature.
How it made me feel: I had all five senses touched in this story. I loved it.
Content: Great, some surprises.
Mistakes:
None. Keep writing
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: I read the othher one and was really impressed. I really think this would make a good book. I would change the over prayer in the second sentence to about prayer or prayer about. Just something simple.
How it made me feel: Good!
Content: Great. I'm ready to read more!
Mistakes: None that I saw.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
Are we still going on strong? I've been out of the loop a long time. If I don't get my membership upgraded by June 15....I won't be around. I've been sick and lost my family with cancer within about 6 years. I was the only child, only grandchild, and only niece. I am so lonesome on Sundays. It was my day to visit and give a sunday school lesson.
Diane
I loved this! It hasn't been that long since I lost my Mother and this is such a great tribute to Mother's everywhere. Was your Mother able to read this? If so I know she was so proud.
We all think we were right when we were younger and now that we know the truth it becomes kind of funny. My daughter didn't believe in spanking until she became a nanny. She was a very strong-willed child--she told me the other day she would have spanked her everyday if she would have been me.
Keep writing.
Diane
What made me what to review this piece: Of course what usually drives me to read a piece of literature is the title. This one you chose is a good one. The first paragraph held me. I did see a few unnecessary words. Also, like I usually do is use too many commas instead of using short sentences which give your writing a little more precise. Like I
Micheal Warwick was irritable. His day had begun well enough; a light breakfast in the lounge followed by the visitation of a few business acquaintances. He decided to retire to his study. He began going over some necessary papers and calculations. Rifling through a stack of letters, a certain name had caught his attention, and it made a stinking feeling in his throat. He was having a hard time collecting his thoughts which irritated him.
How it made me feel:
Very interested in reading chapter's 1 and 3. The reason for liking it is the simplicity of this man's feelings. You are giving great ideas for a character I want to know more about. I love it when people don't bring alot of characters out right in the beginning of a writing. Good job.
Content: Very good.
Mistakes: Just small ideas in different books which have helped me in my writing. On Writing by Stephen King, How to write a novel in 90 days, I use these with my writings and more. I buy them on eBay and they really help and don't cost much.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
Of course with what I've been through I have to share my points. When I was so down on my luck and I didn't have money for points or time to let my feelings out she help. Strange thing about writing.com I was on here first and she has done leaps and bounds in place of me. I think it's her ability to think outside herself and she forgives others who has hurt her. I'm trying to do this through books. I know when she believes in a group it is well worth giving to so I'm going to do the same. Karma has come to me a million times through this tough life and it always will. This points are dedicated in Gabreilla's life. She would remember be as bediane. Always reminded me to be myself.
When will we know for the month of May? This sounds good especially the one about the characters. Seems like it would contain more freedom like a diary, journal, and Blogging. I know Wally Lamb one of my favorite writers does his writing stricky on character development other than plot and other things.
I still look at this as a challenge.
Diane
This is really great and I am happy you put so much in such few words. I think I need some help with that because, well, being in the south people usually take a long time to say something. It's great you won the prize also. I'm getting back in to writing.com cause I''ve found out if I don't I won't write and writing is my passion.
Diane
I don't mind being a reviewer and I want to start BLOGGING everyday. A contest would make others do it too. It's so important. I can go through my old journals and come up with ideas to write. Let's get on the ball in May! I would like my points donated to this blogging contest.
Thanks,
Diane
What made me what to review this piece: I like reviewing the new writers on writing.com and welcome them to a great community. It is a good piece but it is a bit long for a poem. I can feel the powerful words you have put in your writing and they are good but you will learn through time writing is a process. Many times I've wrote a good piece in anger but had to rewrite it again and again. That's what I would do with what you've wrote cause you are telling quite a bit. It needs some breaking points. Separating thoughts.
How it made me feel: Sad and sometimes angry.
Content: Good.
Mistakes: I saw piece misspelled but I look more for content. Write on!
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: I've always tried to do the Dear Me at the first of the year and never place. Chistina, I could have wrote what you wrote nearly word for word. I live with a husband of 32 years who says the same things about me. It may not be that I am from Brazil but I'm from the north and now live in the south. I won't live with the negativity. I will write when they pry my notebook from my dead cold arms!
How it made me feel: A comradship with another writer who suffers the same as I but isn't going to give up.
Content: Wonderful!
Mistakes: None and I will read more of your writing and invite you to read some of my stuff. I keep a notebook also and write all the time. About different people who lead lives I could write about. Right now I'm thinking of letting a very abused woman live in my Aunt's house for her story. Court transcripts and all! I'll be the next Ann Rule. Yes!
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: I liked the idea of the word perception and when I read it I loved it. It portrayed how shallow how some people can be because they don't see beyond the surface.
How it made me feel:
How I had just been hit with reality. Very good, not just a run of the mill poem.
Content: Great play with words.
Mistakes: None that I saw.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: It made me feel like I did when I was first in love. All excited. The guy was everything to me and nothing in the world mattered. Very good on that content. I got it all.
How it made me feel: Again, young and in love.
Content: Pretty good but nothing unusual that hasn't been said about love. Maybe because I feel so old I can't think about how long it's been since I've loved like that, maybe a little rewrite would make it a little more exciting.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: I think this is a great way to improve writing.com. I think it would lead to a lot of ideas on how to raise money to keep the site running. I try to promote it where ever I go. While Facebook and the others keep running and people go to them I'm at writing.com trying to improve myself and other writers. It's a great community. I've been a member since March 5, 2005, I think.
How it made me feel:
Wonderful that my opinion was worthy and I like contributing to a great place to come. There have been times when I couldn't afford it and others pitched in to upgrade my membership. I've always been grateful.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: Death surrounds us all the time so I am usually drawn to this kind of writing. I don't fear death cause it's as you say, "God will take us with Him. It is a comforting thought." I also look at death as I did having children others have done it and so will I at one point.
How it made me feel: At peace with death.
Content: Very good. For it to be short it was filled with images and just the right words.
A great idea on words for a short sentence which you could also turn into a story, poem or book. Great! I keep a notebook filled with ideas of books.
Diane
What made me what to review this piece: I know we all hold a special passion for the place we are born and reside. I thought it would be a very possitive item to read. It was and beautiful too.
How it made me feel: I wanted to lay down for a long winter's nap myself especially since it is 98 degrees outside.
Content: Very good. I wasn't sure at first about the reson why the 1 st word was like that until I came to thee end.
Mistakes: None a great job.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: I was interested in where it was going to take me and was quite surprise by where I ened up. I heard that darn Woodpeckers words. They aren't for the faint of heart.
How it made me feel: Sad because the fight to save our environment started in the sixties and we still let things go on. How do we stop the madness but to let our voice be heard though every means possible.
Content: Great. Harry, you are a good writer and editor!
Mistakes: I saw none. Good job!
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
What made me what to review this piece: Because I love the singer, John Mayer and I like his song Wonderland although I don't always like what he says! Your wonderland sounds too beautiful to visit I want to stay there. It was so nice to be young and in love. I miss it sometimes as you settle in for the 31 long years of marriage. You reminded me of the youth I had one time. Thanks for taking me back.
How it made me feel: Wonderfully in love again.
Content: Great. All I needed in a nice small package. I look forward to reading more!
Mistakes: None
I told you I'd be back.
Don't be discouraged remember writing is about re-writing again and again.
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I think I won in one contest but I'm not sure. I didn't find anything next to the article. I do remember the contest was about making love in an unusal place!
Diane
What attracted me to the piece: My favorite season is spring but twilight is my favorite time of day. You did a great job in saying how I feel every time I enjoy a walk at twilight.
What impressed me the most: It was like a song I would like to hear. The nights are so noising in the south not quiet like you would think. I don't think people take the time to enjoy what's been created for us. You've done an excellent job at this!
How about grammer: No problem!
Overall: Keep writing!
Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success if in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.” Douglas Pagels
Very good. I enjoyed the mystery girl who showed up so fast and then disappeared. It's those of us which come into our lives and leave a mark on us never to forget. I'm glad you got to experience some good in life. Sometimes they are so few and far between. I think your independence is good in some way leaving the character with no expectations from others.
On a personal note. I visit the Salvation Army for my good finds. I love the clothes and when I find them and others compliment me on my abilitiy to shop I tell them I found my outfit at the S and A Bouqtie. LOL.
Diane, Hippie Chick
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