That was so good and what a tribute to your Mom. What was wrong with her? My Mom is living with me now. She is doing better than she was when she lived with my Aunt who is knocking on heaven's door but not heeding the warning. My Aunt makes me so mad! I took Mom to the doctor today. She has to have a test, MRI to determine if she has Arnormality of Gait. I looked it up on the WebMD. I hope it isn't what they say it is.
Keep writing. Your poem bought me nearly to tears. I know one day soon it wil happen to me.
I really loved this poem and it also made me wonder why the dolly had to die in a fire. Was it so cold and there wasn't any firewood so it had to die to make you warm? I know in those days it was really hard and Mom was born in 1929 at the height of the depression. Didn't you ever ask?
Anyway you should keep writing. This is really good and you probably have stories that need to be told.
Keep writing,
Diane
Please read some of mine, too.
That poem was good and so true of us all. If we stay solatry we won't be involved and won't get ourselves hurt. I feel this way when I get real depressed on the way people treat other people. They just don't even understand when they are talking what they are really saying. So I decide, like you to sit and just stay to myself. I guess that's why some of us write just to heal our insides.
Keep writing,
Diane
I loved this poem and it is so true. I believe in Jesus and the second coming that is promised to us. We can trust Jesus when we can't trust others. When a friend disappoints me I think of how Peter and Judas did Jesus. Check out some of my writings and prayers.
Keep writing,
Diane
I liked this writing but would like it to be just a little bit long and more in detail so I could tell what you were trying to get across. Is it that you broke up with someone who was not right for you and you found someone else or is it that you got back together and found out you couldn't live without him?
Diane
I really liked this prayer and think it would be a good one to use on Thanksgiving as a family prayer. Have you thought about getting in touch with Guideposts and seeing if they would publish it. I've written some prayers on my site and letters if you would like to take a look at them.
I am a member of the Silent Helper's Group. It's great there we are like a small family. Check us out under groups and check out some of the writing. You won't be disappointed.
Diane
Very good on your expression of love. It needs a little work because it doesn't flow as well as it needs too. Other than that I like it. It shows colors, feelings, and other things very well it just needs some organization to make it flow from one sentence to another.
Keep writing and rewriting. That's what it's all about.
Diane
I liked this and have felt that way when waiting for one glimpse of a full moon. Yesterday I got to see the Moon in an oval shape. It looked like a great big egg. When it is so full that you can actually imagine seeing his/her face that is in the Moon I am really overwhelmed. I just about always miss the elcipse. : (
Blue Thunder,
I am drawn to that kind of literature as well. I also like Egar Allen Poe and I love Ann Rule. Have you ever read her "Stranger Beside Her." It's a wonderful book about her being a phone counsler with Ted Bundy. I have been all about the murder mysteries since I was a teen and I am now 50 yrs. old. When will it end? I don't think it will. By the way my first book was also "The Stand," it was and still is one of the greatest books I've ever read.
Diane
Oh, country Mom I feel your pain. This hit home so much. Read my letter to my son and you'll see that I have the same problem. Life is hard. Just about when I see some daylight the devil sneaks in the back door and play that game we played in school and knocks me to my knees. Abraham Lincoln said that sometimes there is no place to go but to your knees in prayer. Ain't that the truth?
Diane
That was such a great essay. It brought tears to my eyes because I can't imagine losing a child and in such a manner as this; it seems so unfair. We wasn't promised a life without pain and heartache. When my heart seems like it's breaking from the pain I see in the world and in my own home I just think of Jesus and the pain he endure. Jesus not only had pain from the cross but also in life.
Keep writing!
Diane
But the mispelled word means nothing to me. It's the words of your writing that means so much to me. The hands are so important in life and you brought that out in your writing. Do you realize I have never even thought of hands in that way? Bringing some thing to one's attention is a great way of writing.
He's there and you prove it so well in your poem. All we have to do is ask. I have a huge picture/poster of the Footprints prayer right up above a picture of Jesus in the Garden when He was in despair. It makes me realize that while He walked the earth He also had a hard time. Some times I think we forget.
Keep writing.
Diane
You used that that in the same sentence other than that it was a great poem. I loved it for the fact that it reminded me so much of my family. My Mom doesn't hug nor does her side of the family. When anyone hugs them you can feel the stiffness there. When my uncle died my husband said you should go hug him. My Uncle was the one who took place of my absent father. I miss him so much. My son spent the two weeks he lay dying with him day and night. They were both looking at photo albums talking about old times. Then when my Mom went to check on him he past away. I'll never forget him and thanks for helping me remember.
Diane
Needs some work. There are some grammer mistakes. Mostly using the word didn't instead of using the word doesn't. A misspelled word was just. It had a good plot but it just wasn't developed enough. You could rewrite it and make it good. Put some action in it. What they did on their times alone. What did they talk about? Seems like early on the relationship should have took you to where he ask the question of continuing it.
Keep writing.
Diane
I have a young Muslim girl that I have been reading her work. It is so very good and the girl has such promise I was hoping maybe someone from this site could email her and make her feel welcomed. She seems a bit bashful but wise way beyond her years. Her email address is: giasyed@writing.com
Thanks,
Diane
P.S. Hey you could review some of my work too!!!
That was wonderful. I loved the picture too. It showed me his big wonderful smile. You can feel the love coming through your writing for him. I think writing about our loved ones produces such awesome writings.
I am like you too. Although I didn't teach. The stuff I want to write comes in my head and doesn't leave until it's on paper.
Keep writing.
Diane
Oh, please don't feel like I do. I was hoping there was no one on this earth that felt the misery that I sometimes feel. Are you young? When I see the part about what the people are saying it makes me want to go to those people and say, "don't you see his soul is hurting?" It is yearning for so much more if you don't have it to give quit wasting his time. If you do have even a touch of what he yearns give it to him. I feel so sorry for my husband and son. They fight trying to get others approval. You'll get it soon. Peace comes. I promise.
Love,
Diane
This is very well written but it makes me feel so bad. Last month I was on the verge of losing my membership when at the last minute I had enough of GP's to continue my work. This time I truly didn't have enough for another month. An angel, a real angel from a group I belong to gave me a membership for a whole year. Oh, I was too grateful. I probably thanked her to the point where she was tired of it and I love her for what she did for me. You see the story is a long one but let me contain it for you in a few sentences. I am an only child, only grandchild, and only niece. My Aunt, Mom's sister is dying of cancer and kidney problems. My Mom is going down fast. I have to watch them very closely. My husband had an accident in the coalmines where he was employed 20 years. Broke his back. My son is a drug addict who can't stay out of jail. My husband, last year had a near fatal car accident with my dog with him. The dog left the scene of the accident. For four days I didn't know if I could make it....dog missing, husband in the trauma center, and son on sucide watch. Whenever anyone helps me I pass it along because I am so grateful. The editor of our small newspaper did an article on the dog, Tim came out of the hospital after a month, my son continues to spend most of his time in jail. I couldn't have made the payment this time but I assure you someone down the line will get help from me one day. i love people and God has blessed me with so many. So please don't think of all of us as just beggars. Who knows you maybe entertaining angels unaware!
Love,
Be Diane
Just need a question mark at the end of the poem as far as errors go. As far as the poem goes I like it because you realize one day you will really miss the noise, the fights, and screaming. My children are 22 and 25 yrs. old. Many times I wish I would've treasured God's creation in my body and when they were babies but hey, they were so much work no wonder we didn't get to enjoy, eh?
Diane
It's a good start but it leaves the reading wanting more. You could write this as a start and then continue from the first meeting. We, as readers don't know what kind of body was in the field or why it happened. It's a good start of a mystery but we need more details.
Keep writing. One typo: without.
Diane
I loved this. I try to get rid of the past. Carrying around all that excess bagage really gets heavy and burdens you. All we can look to is the future. Watch some I love Lucy and Three Stooges! it's help, I promise. Laugh!
The flow of this poem is wonderful. It just seems like you are speaking to me.
Keep writing.
Love,
Diane
Forget about grammer and captilizing first letters of the sentences. You need help because you are young and need to live. Undoubtbly these people are no worthly of your love. Jesus taught that love is the most important thing in the world and you giving it is the best gift you can give. I want you to go find a pastor of a church to talk to you. Seek out groups that can help. You can even find them on the internet. I will help as much as I can. Look on www.beliefnet.com
I will also tell others to read your story. You keep the faith. Keep loving. Keep writing!
Diane
Jenn,
I loved your poem. It rings so true. I can't turn my back on the man who walks the street in our town with a humped back he collects alumin cans. I've always taught my children to stop and give him coins that we have. The rich do turn their backs some even forget where they come from. Harry Potter's author's work was just tossed aside and an office manager happen to run across it and read it and wanted to know what happened so she ask the author for the rest of the book. The little office manager helped make this author who was on welfare a weathy person. When she met her at a book signing the author gave her nothing. I saw it on Oprah. Can you imagine? I would've been so grateful I probably would have bought her a house.
I am in the silent helpers group with you. I love it and can see we are all one and the same.
Keep writing,
Diane
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