My Final Plea

Everybody who reads the three little pigs' story thinks of the wolf as cruel and horrible. But that's not how I really am. I'm just an innocent insurance agent. Let me tell you my side of the story...

One day my boss told me to go door to door soliciting our insurace company. I set off cheerfully. One house after another I visited, but none of the inhabitants were interested. As the morning drew to a close, not one of my would-be customers was showing any interest whatsoever.

As you can imagine, I was not in a good mood.

All of a sudden, I saw a house made of straw. I thought to myself, "A straw house! They'll certainly need house insurance."

So I stepped briskly up to the door and knocked. Tap! Tap! Tap! And what do you know, a pig came to the door! Seeing me, he cried, "A wolf! Get off my property before I call the police!"

Suddenly I felt an itch in my nose. Aah! Aaah! Achooo! The poorly built house blew apart in front of my eyes, and the pig, squealing with fury, ran to his neighbor's house.

I pulled myself together and walked up to the neighboring house. Tap! Tap! Tap! I knocked on the door of the house, which was made of sticks. The door creaked open and two snouts stuck out.

"What do you want?" one of then snapped rudely.

I cleared my throat. "I represent the...aaaaaaaaahhh!" As I was speaking, I backed off of the doorstep and stepped on a roller skate. I tipped forward and crashed into the door. The house collapsed as I hit it, and the two pigs again raced to their nieghbor's house.

I calmly got up, dusted myself off, and followed them. Tap! Tap! Tap! This two-story house was made of bricks, and was surrounded by a trim picket fence. The door noislessly opened.

"What would you like?" a ladylike voice inquired from within. As she spoke, a scratching sound coming from above caused me to look up. A flowerpot came hurtling down, and all was black.

A while later, I woke up to find my wrists enclosed in handcuffs, and all three pigs stood talking with the police chief.

"...and he ran towards my door with his head jutting forward and knocked himself out, as you can see now. Oh, look! He's awake!"

They denied my accusations and took away all my rights. And here I am, locked in a tiny jail cell since that fateful day. Now, is that right?

And yet everyone chooses to believe them. So here is my final plea: Will you please believe me?