The Perfect Gift?

Winner of the June 20 Writer's Cramp, where the prompt was:

"I read in the newspaper today that some scientist had created a teleporter... When it is perfected and able to handle passengers what uses would you have for this teleporter?"

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The Perfect Gift?

"What do you want for your birthday this year?" Tom asked Sue with trepidation.

Sue was notoriously impossible to shop for - she already had "everything" - and what she didn't have she was very picky about.

A few years ago she had asked for a new mountain bike. Tom spent weeks investigating every bike on the market, finally settling on the most expensive one with the most bells and whistles, in her favorite color. (Or so he thought.)

He even "accidentally" left the price tag on so she'd see how much it cost, and wheeled it into their bedroom on the morning of her birthday, where she promptly yawned, stretched, rubbed her eyes, and commented dryly, "It's purple. I don't DO purple, Tom."

Tom scratched his head and gazed at her silken pajamas. "But you are wearing purple ... ?"

Sue sighed with exasperation. "It's lilac, Tom, how many times do I have to tell you, it's LILAC!"

"What was that?" Sue asked sharply, bringing Tom back to the present.

"I asked what you wanted for your birthday, sweetie..." repeated Tom, smiling what he liked to think was his most charming smile.

"Actually, Tom, I am pleased to say that there IS something I want this year," she answered, grinning mischievously and running her eyes up and down his body.

Tom flushed with embarrassment and excitement, and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Well Suzy Q, you can have THIS any time you want to," he said in what he hoped was a seductive voice. "But for your birthday I was hoping..."

Sue cut him off, "Oh god Tom put your clothes back on, I didn't mean THAT! I want one of those new transporters we read about in the paper last week. You know, it sends a person wherever they want to go, lickety split, just like that. Like from Star Trek, 'Beam me up, Scotty' and all that hooey!"

Tom froze, his shirt hanging loosely above his loosened belt. "You want a what?"

Sue rolled her eyes. "A transporter, Tom, remember? We read about them in the paper last week?"

"Oh yes, but, I mean, gosh Sue, what would you do with one of those?"

Excitement filled her eyes as she sidled up closer to Tom and stroked his chest. "Oh Tom can't you imagine!?!?! If we wanted to go to Hawaii we could just GO to Hawaii! No more six hour flights and lost luggage, just BAM! And we are there!"

"Well yes, but ..." Tom started but was interrupted again.

"And we could transport to work and never have to fight traffic again. Or I could pop you over to the store if I forgot something for dinner and needed it right away. Or, gosh, Tom, the possibilities are endless." She was gushing with an excitement Tom rarely, if ever, saw. "We could GO anywhere we wanted to, any time we wanted to, and not have to waste the time traveling! We could be up in Carmel in an instant, instead of taking all day to drive there!"

"I kind of like the drive to Carmel, actually," Tom offered.

"Oh poo, Tom, all that traffic and the tourists pulling over to look at the dumb otters! It takes forever and with a transporter we'd be there in a New York Minute!"

"Well, okay, if that's what you want ..." Tom edged closer to Sue, hoping she'd rub his chest again.

"YES! It's what I want!" she shouted, before running off to answer the phone.

"Well okay I'll see what I can do," Tom answered, disappointed by the interruption and unsure if he would be able to buy a transporter for Sue - they were very new and very expensive. But it's what she wanted ...

* * * * *
Two weeks later Tom proudly wheeled the new Sony Deluxe Model ST 2010 Transporter into the bedroom, trying not to wake up Sue. It hadn’t been easy to find one – and when he did he paid a fortune for it. But it was worth it to get what Sue really wanted.

When he had it positioned just where he wanted it, he lifted off the cover and then walked over and opened the blinds. Sue stirred as he stood next to the transporter, smiling, and as she opened her eyes he began singing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Sue .....!" He was cut off by her shriek.

"Oh my god, TOM! You idiot! It's purple!"