forever falling

I don't get it, why do people care?
I bloody myself in order to scare,
please run and treat me like the plague,
what makes me worthy to make the grade?
I hate it, I hate it, I don't deserve your love,
please just let me fall, push me under the bus,
let me be sad and help you be happy,
let me improve your mood while my is crappy.

look away from my disgusting form,
my end on the horizon like a brewing storm,
I don't need help, I tell you I'm fine,
never look behind my curtain, that's where I keep the sad signs,
karma isn't something I believe in, cause and effect is much less deceiving,
it can be affected and manipulated,
though death always looms, forever fated.

kingdom crumbles, my castle falls,
I'm scared and filled fear and I'm stuck in the cold,
please give me a reason, a reason to stop, a reason is all I need,
please let me drop, misery seems to be compulsory for me,
I'm surprised my family hasn't started to grieve.