TOMBOY

From I was growing up, neighbours would jokingly called me Tomboy

I understood to a degree what it meant at age ten

But it was not until I was twenty-five, I despise its connotations

I had accepted my femininity

But their roles of how I should speak and act

Their condescending laws, values, morals, ethic and standards

I naturally forbade.



I did not accept Tom because it was masculine

I did not accept Tom as I was no peeping Tom or Uncle Tom

Boy was not my Ideal

Not Idea

Not my gender

I was female and a girl who did not fit their stereotype.



I guess I have always been a rebel

A revolutionist

Not standard or a carbon copy

Was not dolly faced lipstick glossy fake

I made people uneasy when I spoke

My presence was felt without even an exhale

Their constant bickering to act girl, dress girl and be girl

As it was their way of reminding me that I should know my place.



My feminine energy was so strong that other women despised me

Men got attracted while others discombobulated with their own insecurities

I was a trigger to their questions

I surely made a mark.



It is not easy for anyone to love and accept me

It is not easy because I am a walking tabloid that people gossip about

As their lips are like opium

My fate was in the hands of the people

Oh, they hated me.



I was epitome of female freedom to a degree

I wore comfort

Grace with strength

Even in my fragile state

Even when my womanliness I could not hide

Because of tenderness of the heart

I was steadfast with a calculated mind that never stopped unwinding

Only the brave could commit to me.



My voice was one point my hatred now it is my uniqueness

There were times, a few moments that I felt ashamed of my body,

My nature, my clothes

Was a woman so incapable of greatness that they had to be a Tomboy?

Who was Tom this phantom and why was I in comparison

My femininity was in questioned

Never my masculinity.