This week: The Drones are Coming!!! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Several years ago I saw my first real-life drone flying overhead while at the beach in Florida. I heard the drone's droning buzz while sunbathing and looked up and was amazed by it. Now I've received a robot call telling me the Drones will be in my "hood."  |
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Hello folks! Welcome to another edition of the Comedy Newsletter. As we move forward in 2020, with more of the year behind us than ahead of us, I can't help but find that the year, as crazy and chaotic as it has been, still manages to sprinkle a few laughs in between rules and regulations in life amid Covid and being a resident of Maskachusetts. (Spelling intentional)
At this time the family is scrambling to pull together a September wedding. My son is getting married. He's the baby, and the only boy. His sisters, all four of them want to be sure to be present at this great event. Problem is, will they be able to travel from their states to this state? Once they get here, are they stuck here for two weeks? Will we all be wearing formal "veils" over our faces during the wedding and reception? See, you get an idea of how up in the air our plans are as we don't know what our governor will decide as he checks his biweekly list of who should open business and who shouldn't. Will we still be limited to ten people in a social setting? We can't even get the bride and groom's immediate family into the wedding with those restrictions.
However, I digress. I do intend to speak about things being up in the air, and it's not my son's upcoming nuptials. I have received several phone calls from FLP, my Florida electric company. I know what your thinking, "Webbie, perhaps the electric bill payment was forgotten, and they are sending a phone call reminder." Nope, no, nada, that's not it. What I heard when I answered my phone was a robot call. Yeah, those robots are tireless! They'll call 24-7 and never get grumpy or change their tone of voice. We humans can't compete with them. But of course we answer their call when we see their number showing because they control our power. We need air conditioning running even when up North, because of mold-growth without it during the summer months if the temperature goes above 79 degrees inside the home. Mold would be a nightmare to return to in the fall! 
So, this robot is calling to tell customers, or by the third week of calls to merely remind customers that there will be drones flying over our homes to check on power lines. I guess they were warning us not to ... what? Not go outdoors? Don't panic, don't call the local sheriff?
Yes, folks, the drones are coming. We are told they won't harm us. They promise not disturb us or intrude on our privacy. Yeah, right! We all know about those creepy in-flight spies in the sky, right? They have the capabilities of listening to everything we say. Heck, they can use that infrared gadget stuff to look inside our homes and watch us doing--well, whatever we're doing at the time in the privacy of our own homes. Then, they take recordings of anything juicy, and I don't mean power juice in the form of electricity.
Okay, okay, so I'm kind of self-interpreting the situation a little bit here, but it's possible they can do all that under the guise of checking their lines. All I can say about that whole drone-check is that I am happy they are doing that while I'm safely ensconced behind my monitor in my Northern Command center. Because I thought of another conspiracy theory about these harmless power-line drones flying above our homes peering down with their fancy equipment, stealing our email contacts. Perhaps YOU have been a victim of the "I saw what you did last night" scam email that claims they have pictures of you doing something adult -XXX-oriented while surfing the Interwebs, and, intend to share the pictures with all of your contacts unless you bit-coin them at some link which will then take over your computer and make it one of their zombies.
Now you know what the true purpose of all the eyes in the sky are up to.
That's my droning story and I'm sticking to it!
Until next time -- laugh hard, laugh often! And keep your eyes to the skies!
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Comedy: July 08, 2020 Issue [#10255]
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