(Spoilers for Kawakami's Confidant)
The Shadows outfit wasn't too dissimilar to her normal school clothing, the only major difference was that she had a regal blue robe over top of it, and a large ornate crown on her head. "Uh, guys? I'm getting serious Kamoshida vibes from this......" Skull said, backing away from the window nervously. "Kamoshida wasn't 30 meters tall...." Said Panther, as she backed away from the windows as well. "Kawakami would never do the shit he did." Joker said defensively, earning a curious look from the others. Before they could press him on the issue, The giant Shadow spoke in a booming voice that made the school vibrate. "Okay class! Today's pampering session will begin in ten minutes! No Stars will start with the usual foot cleaning!" The group could hear a large amount of movement from the various classrooms. "Guys, there's a safe room nearby, we might wanna hide there for a bit." The Phantom Thieves looked at each other,nodded, and went into the safe room.
"This doesn't make any sense! Kawakami-sensei doesn't have enough influence at the school to see herself as it's Queen!" Panther yelled once they were inside. "I think we've got a special case on our hands, this Palace's distortions are extremely different to any of the others we've explored." Mona said thoughtfully. "Joker, what do you think?" Noir asked the Phantom Thieves Leader, who was currently lost in thought. "I think..... that rather than this Palace being how Sadayo sees the world, it's how she WANTS the world to be, one where everyone worships and obeys her......." The others began to process this theory, when Queen spoke up. "You called her Sadayo, since when are you two on a first name basis?" Joker's face turned bright red, and he started stammering as he attempted to recover from this slip-up. "W-well we've known each other for awhile now since......... uh........." A knot formed in his throat. He was furious with himself for making such a simple yet crucial mistake. "Is she that weird maid that keeps coming to Leblanc at night?" Oracle said, making the entire group jump. "MAID?!" Joker groaned as he realized that the groups navigator had been spying on him the whole time. "I can explain......."
And so Joker told the group about the bizarre relationship between himself and the Teacher/Maid, and how he had helped her out of the awful situation she was in. ".......... And after we took care of their Shadows in Mementos, they stopped blackmailing Kawakami and she was able to put all of her time and effort into teaching." Joker finished, his face still bright red. "So her distorted desire is to be serviced and pampered after all the time she spent doing the same for others as a maid?" Queen theorized. "Yeah, that sounds about right, she's mentioned before how she'd like to be pampered once in while....." Joker could feel a hole being burnt through him by Panther's death glare. "Have you pampered her at all?" "W-what?! No! I keep telling you, we haven't done anything weird at all." Joker was incredible flustered, this whole situation was getting out of hand. "Anyways, we need to get a move on, I think the 'No Stars' are gone....." He opened the door, and came face to face with a doll in a pink dress.
"Oh hello there! You need to get outside, the No Stars are supposed to be cleaning Queen Kawakami's feet." Joker gestured for the others to hide, and assessed the doll in front of him. She had brown, fluffy hair, porcelain-like skin, and she had a flower in her hair. He knew almost immediately that he was looking at a cognitive version of Noir. "Uh, 'No Stars'? Sorry, I'm new here so I'm not sure I follow. He decided to act like a transfer student (which he had a lot of experience with) in order to get some info out if the fake version of his friend. "Oh Okay! I didn't know we were getting a new transfer today." She clapped her hands together, making a weird sound that made Joker's ears ring. "My name is Haru Okumura, I'm a third year and a Gold Star student." She gestured to the shiny gold star pinned to her dress, it seemed to have been made of real gold. "Here, you are given a star rating dependent on how much Queen Kawakami likes you." The doll Haru pointed towards a poster on the wall, it showed a sort of Pyramid, with five layers on it. "No Stars are the lowest of the low. They're the students that Queen Kawakami hates with a passion for how, well, unintelligent they can be. Most of the students there are either vapid girls or delinquent boys, and they are usually given the hardest and most undesirable jobs, like cleaning the dirt off her perfect body with their tongues." Joker looked out to see that the No Stars were indeed licking the feet of Kawakami's Shadow, who was now sitting on a throne that had appeared in front of the school.
"Next, we have Bronze Stars, they're the annoying students that constantly bother Kawakami and make her life harder, usually by not turning in their work on time or by doing dumb things during class. They also get to clean her, but they get towels and brushes to do so." Almost on cue, a doll with bruises painted on him and a Bronze Star walked past them, muttering something about a "Phan-Site". "Oh Mishima-kun? Do you have your brush yet? And please don't mention that Phan-Site, you'll make Queen Kawakami angry if she hears you talking about it again." The doll grumbled, and walked off. Joker had to keep himself from laughing at the it, and he could hear Skull chuckling behind the door. "Anyways, the Silver Stars are the students that she likes or tolerates, and they get the privilege of doing things such as painting her nails, or doing her makeup." Haru giggled at two Silver Star dolls that were talking excitedly about what they were going to do for the 'Queen' today. "Finally, we have Gold Stars, like me. These are Queen Kawakami's absolute favorite students, they are her second in command, and carry out her orders when she isn't around."
"So, as long as you stay on her good side, she'll treat you good...." Joker stated. The Haru Doll giggled again. "Yep! She's a great Queen, she rewards loyalty and obedience." Joker looked back at the poster. "Hang on, there's one more level here." The doll gasped and bowed. "I'm so sorry, I forgot about the most important one! That level has only one student, and he's the most important one in the whole School!" Joker froze as he realized what she was saying. He went for his knife, but his hand was grabbed by Queen from behind the door, with a concerned look on her face. "The lovable, handsome, and ever kind Prince Akira Kurusu!" Jokers heart sank as he heard the collective gasps from behind the door. "He's the most important thing in her life, and their love for each other knows no bounds!"
Joker was yanked back into the room, and saw a variety of different looks from his friends, ranging from disgust to jealousy (and a smug smile on Oracles face, she'd known the whole time, after all.) "Oh, my, GOD AKIRA!" Panther yelled. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, YOU'VE BEEN DATING OUR TEACHER!?" Joker covered his face, not ready to face the group. "Dude.... is this why you didn't want to--" Skull started before Joker cut him off. "Why I didn't go on your with you and Mishima on your dumbass trip to get girls in Hawaii? Or literally every other time you've done that? Yeah, pretty much." Queen started to shake her head. "Do you know what could happen if it gets out that you--" Joker interrupted her. "She'll lose her Job and I'll get arrested for violating my probation, we're both painfully aware of the consequences. But that's not going to stop us." The group stopped and looked at Joker, his resolve was unwavering. "Akira-kun, are you sure about this? You could both get into a lot of trouble, and she's older than you....." Noir said. "That doesn't matter, she's one of the few people that actually cares about me, and she's the nicest person I've ever met." Joker wasn't moving on the issue. They sat around in awkward silence for a bit when they heard the booming voice of the Shadow once more.........
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