Wait, what was the time?
10:59?
Alice was about to miss her show!
After searching madly and blindly around their couch for the remote, Alice finally felt the familiar shape between the couch cushions—only a few days in their new apartment, and the remote already got lost! And at the worst possible time too; Alice had already missed the opening score of her favorite daytime talk show...
"Hi everyone, I'm Marni Blake and thiiiiis—"
"IS THE MARNI BLAKE SHOW!" the crowd roared
Okay, so sue her.
The prissy little white girl who went to a ritzy all-girl's academy and wanted to grow up to do fashion liked to watch the Marni Blake Show. There were worse things in life, y'know.
Nobody, repeat: nobody knew about her secret daytime tv indulgence. Nobody except her sister (who got her hooked on it in the first place!) Zack's brother Darren (a fellow fan and Marni Maniac) and her mother (a more reluctant fan there never had been). She had never had the guts to admit to Zack that she liked to watch the Marni Blake Show, for fear of judgment. They were a couple, yeah, and they'd been together for a long time now...
But how could she ever admit to him that she liked to watch one of the trashiest, dumbest, who's-the-baby-daddy show out there?
It had been so long since she'd seen it, it was a more welcome experience than most to see her hostess on stage, plopped and wedged tightly into her signature seat. Marni Blake was a fat little woman, with a head of curly brown hair and more chins than inches. She was so big, and so short, that Alice often wondered how it was possible for a woman so round to waddle across stage like she did. Back when Alice was going through her unmentionable chubby phase it did her a lot of good to see Marni constantly staying so upbeat about her size—even now that she was still mostly skinny, Alice appreciated Marni's confidence in her unique figure.
"Alright everyone, we've got a big big BIG show tonight—" Marni held up her hands and spread her chubby fingers out as her eyes went wide, "We've got Tyrone, who doesn't believe that he's the father of Rebecca's baby..."
The crowd booed, with Alice signaling her own disapproval by giving the screen a thumb's-down.
"But first, I promised you guys a BIG show, and intend to deliver!" Marni crinkled her face as the crowd roared, "So without further adieu, ladies and gents, let's bring out my first guest..."