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 |   All that remains: in afterlife as 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. 20k views |
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Obshchak Some torn to the ground Some burn to the ground Others removed brick by brick Redesign for the times When the lease comes up Or just fold up When you have a bad day and need a reason... Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection... "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” - Some guy, I guess. Look it up? I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice, might as well hand over your civil liberties. Voices could connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues or don't but put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. Or, agree to disagree and have a beer. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone - Chris Cornell, RIP Some other stuff ▼ My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Blah, blah, blah ▼ ![Merit Badge in Rare
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I like your work!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Rare.gif) Thank you WakeUpAndLive️~Happiness  for honoring me with your kind words!Read here some old blog entries...  2018 Highlights ▼ More... 2018: The Quiet Ones ▼  ~ Brian K Compton ~  |
As opined in newsfeed, but probably not seen by the masses.  I've probably done four to five thousand reviews here. But, I don't think I'll ever actually know how many, because people have to delete items to fit within their portfolio parameters. Or, just all out delete their account for whatever reasons. I don't feel I have that review feather fully stick in my cap. Not that anyone goes out of their way to see the effort that it takes/has taken to provide review content. But, it's like taking four to five thousand essay exams, where you don't want to mail in a 'C' effort because people/professors are watching. Plus, you have the added pressure of knowing the real authors see what you offer, and you respect them enough to really try understand and comment with a measure of intelligence the assembled words they need or want to hear. I even forget myself to fully comprehend what it takes for just one other member to stroll over and gander at what I share. If they review, it's a blessing. The amount of effort I see from some either really comes from a source of higher experience or a true desire to fully commit to feedback. Either way, I think reviewing as a writing medium at this website is likely undervalued. But, the act of reading and responding is the true reward. I just know when I reread my old reviews, what I can still obtain in my port, it helps build my reviewing skills and gives greater perspective. Appreciate reviews. When related items are gone, they're gone. "Note: I've probably done four to five thousand revie..." If you also find sitewide activities alluring and engrossing that you lose all ability to perceive space and time, you might be a writer desperate for some attention to your ability to construct words eliciting response from peers. I commented on Tina Stone's newsfeed thread about her good fortune following the misfortune of deleting many activity files. It was more in response to Alyssa, a faithful follower and word junkie, who felt like she was mailing in her activity posting efforts: "Chibithulu (Alyssa)  ,I wouldn't begrudge you for the truncated content, because I image these events are designed to be time consuming for whatever reason. We all have lives to live and personal goals to attain as writers foremost. I see the activities as useful as long as it keeps us within target of our own goals and not astray. In fact, so tedious is it to fully comprehend and comply with multiple activity rules and guidelines, let alone the time it takes to commit to ideate and write, I just step away. I know we need traffic and activity to keep this site hopping, but I have seen a lot of burnout. It's good folks find fun things to do here. Unfortunate that I see so much resignation of true goals in the process. God bless you all for trying to keep us entertained.  See, I was nice.  But to further my point about traffic, I wonder if a great opportunity to take advantage of a captive audience was missed. I saw the efforts to inform and direct people to participate here, post-pandemic awareness in the states. In about that time frame, I've witnessed Writing.Com traffic numbers fall off sharply for the month after its peak on March 4th (per Alexa.Com free traffic stats). Activity has continued to slowly drop in the time since. I'm certain that this is a seasonal effect, nonetheless. However, when you consider that people were essentially sequestered, around the world mind you, it's possible whatever efforts may have been made to drive traffic may have missed the mark. I can't speak to it with any authority other than as someone who stands in the shadows, watches and has learned over thirteen years as mainly a sideline participant. I see strategies and types of members who are drawn here, cultivated as preferred members and moderators to do whatever it is they do to help WDC thrive. Some really good people trying to do really saintly-type stuff. I know that there are some that buy in. The result to me is there is not a lot of worthy content floating about for people floating through the internet streams to discover. Unfortunate. I'm old timer. I've seen better days. I'm sure it's no ones fault. I'm not criticizing. I'm trying to just be that bellwether in the storm, just one of the indicators to help with someone who is inclined with any prognosticating ability. Ship's off course a might. I should shut up, right? Send the PR consultant over to have a talk with me about my blog content. Are you sure? Listen, there are billions of websites around the world. You got lucky on the domain name and it is likely the diving rod that draws a mecca. But, it's not holding anyone here. If you look at the dead sea of cases and wonder why they lie about in purgatory, inactive, and think of the potential of retention. This could be a much greater force in the writing world, community. Perhaps, those at the helm do not have the necessary sea legs to captain such a mighty vessel. Wow, I'm going with this> Yes, this site has great potential. Some say it's antiquated. But look at the name of the side of this listing ship that cannot possibly capsize and know you are safe here. It might not be aimed for high ground and it might not have the best meals or food and you could get sick, throw up overboard, may jump overboard, but it will keep drawing passengers. It has the capacity for so many more. It could have so many rooms more to explore with really good entertainment you could come back for night after night. But, this is what you get mid pandemic. This is the menu and these are the activities you can expect. Shuffleboard! No, that was an exclamation. I went on to long Oh, shuffleboard! I love you all. I'll return to my cabin and wait further instruction. Or, worse, remain below deck with no one to talk to. Aye, aye, cappy! he exclaimed.  That's me blowing off air after that long exortation.I'm not going to check grammar, spelling or word definition at this point. I'm a big boy. I know my English good. |
Review of "Societies Nature"  "Societies Nature"  Review of "Tanka Poem on Pollen" "Invalid Item" Review of "Dusk" "Dusk" Review of "Pick Me" "Pick Me"   Thank you so much for your honest review and your advice. sincerely, |
| Today, is Jen's first day out of isolation from the Coronavirus. It has been 72 hours without major symptoms, which means she can go back to work. But according to of the county health department, the rest of us have to quarantine at home for the next two weeks. That's going to make it difficult for a few upcoming appointments. I have to reschedule the dentist for my daughter and I. But questions surrounding testing me for the virus before shoulder surgery with my current quarantine are going to make it interesting. I am going to be coming out of Quarantine on the 18th and on the 19th I am scheduled for surgery, tentatively. Part of the problem is, they will need to do a coronavirus test for me going in and then having to quarantine for three days prior to surgery. With me home self quarantining during that time I wouldn't be able to come in three days early, so they're talking about testing me right away to show that I don't have the virus so I don't have to further quarantine another week to two weeks and reschedule that surgery if somehow I test positive. So, the left shoulder tear is the result of an injury I suffered over 25 years ago and have just lived with because it has not hindered me. However, I did use yoga about 10 years ago and got further mobility out of it and basketball helped, too. It's time had come, especially with this worldwide shutdown. A lot of contact sport and usage caused the rotator cuff to become so deteriorated I could barely reach out to pick up something off my nightstand without pain. I knew it was time. And what they discovered is a 1 cm x 2 cm tear all the way across. I luck out once again by having the right doctor for my surgery. First time, on my right shoulder, I had the best rotator cuff specialist probably in the state. They said it was like repairing a major league pitcher's arm. And now with my aging, I am fortunate to have a Sports Medicine specialist who would do a surgery on tear as large as mine, despite. The other doctor would've told me to just live with it. My wife is telling me horror stories about how much harder this is going to be for me to recover from this, versus the first shoulder repair. But this is not a dominant arm, and I don't think that I have to get as full a range of motion from it. I think she thinks that there's gonna be a high pain factor because, but she forgets I have a high pain tolerance. She had me taking too many meds. I was acting weird on here post surgery in late 2013, early 2014. I sometimes laugh at what I wrote, though I did snag first place in the Dear Me contest in January that year, somehow, against great odds. I'm suspecting greater than 90 to one, if you catch my drift. So, okay then. 5.5.20 |
| See you next fall? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/convinced-fauci-says-there-will-be-coron... you had me at: "(a group of scientists and billionaires with a backdoor plane to advise president Trump) describe their work as a lockdown-era Manhattan Project..." https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-secret-group-of-scientists-and-billionaire... |
My daughter and the girl in the plastic bubble are listening to vinyl tonight. Right now, playing song we sang to her at bedtime when she was little: Listening to the high parts now. I was the only one who dared sing that part. Life will be normal again. Making new and special memories. It’s the dawn of a new era. When these 14 days of captivity are up, I want to get a video of her climbing up the back stairs to the garage like a miner exiting a shaft trapped by a cave in. But that would be insensitive to those who’ve been through that very real life or death drama, except I don’t know them. And, they’ve never heard of me. So, the only people who could be offended are people who just take offense on behalf of those not available to witness. And yet, this is a real life drama. This does factor life and death. This is about sacrifice and a family kept apart. I will have my video. But, I’m seriously worried she’ll just run right upstairs to her Waterpik. (CURRENT PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE) Instead, I give you this:  Three days in partial captivity. Bring my wife and our mother home! We’re hungry. Serious, nothing to eat except cereal. |
| Put your acorns where your mouth is? Collect as much of those acorns as you can now before this forthcoming recession (more willing to call it depression now?) arrives... https://apple.news/Am1N1UWv1STqruHLssGERqw Before inflation affects grocery prices and other needs (fortunately oil war caused cheap gas), get your ducks in a row for more TP shortages and things we don't have the imagination to realize flying off store shelves. Expect inflation and price gouging. Expect more fledgling stores and companies to go under...Kmart, Sears types. Because Amazon is king, followed by Walmart, Costco and Target. https://apple.news/AejaFUKbjSrGnfe2OLmZyqw The more we get comfortable with online shopping and vactioning indoors, streaming live stuff from movies to games to each other, the more local communities are likely to suffer. Trump will have a hell of a time in coming months reacting to fickle Wall Street, if it doesn't do him in. Or...we come out of this stronger and more resilient than ever. https://money.com/fed-bazooka-your-budget/ What you got your money on...sorry, acorns? I'm not a professional doomsday prepper, but I have two cabins in the woods I can flee to. We can drop a thousand gallon fuel tank in ground and get an oil company over with a truck to fill it up with cheap crude. We got weapons and ammo and plenty of wildlife for survival. I don't think my kids are ready for a world without wifi...out of necessity rather than it not being available. They don't use it now to complete their homework, so forget them man. Let's eat a squirrel and leave a squirrel in the woods. TP reference. Still at top of food chain. Come on Wall Street. Don't screw this up for the rest of us who don't want our money tied up in bonds again or for eternity. |
| Okay, Wall Street closes higher again. I've got my broker on speed dial to get me out of the market if this thing nose dives again. Value of my portfolio is almost back to where I want it. The value of bonds is rising. Thankfully investors are more hopeful for our future amid this pandemic. I think that's because the worst of it may be over in major cities. Now mid to small size areas more remotely located are feeling the brunt, like here in Green Bay. Why am I posting this in newsfeed? I just started typing and now this thing is getting long. Financially, things are looking up for investors. It's getting people back to work and back into arenas to enjoy leisure that is going to take awhile. This is a rollercoaster ride for sure. I need to secure my investments and not lose another 30% of my portfolio value. So, i'll see how fickle market will be in days, weeks and months to come. You know, most trading is done by computers that are programmed to react to market conditions. I'm in some hedge funds that rely on this, and between my wife and I are over 70% reliant on stocks. I went to all bonds in 2008 and pretty much dove back into the market the day after Trump was elected. I pulled out most of my portfolio to fund an annuity one year ago. I can start drawing on that in seven years, if I chose.Three years away from no mortgage payment. Most people live from paycheck to paycheck, I hear. Unemployment checks are still not arriving. And the government stimulus lump sums got here, but the additional federal money for unemployment is still months away. Lots of information about this unusual time in history to take in and consider. Are they driving the market up unnecessarily to get investors a false security before another major sell off? Corporations still doing buy backs like pharmaceuticals who would rather own their own stock to control price rather than spend more money on research. Well Wall Street investors don't have all the control, because what drives economy is the consumers ability to spend. If there is no place to drive our cars to but grocers, and everyone is getting the virus at meat packing plants, and not enough money to spend, where will we be months from now? Even if we wind up with extra dough. You can't even bet on sports. I have a few stock tips. Just bet on Amazon, Walmart, Costco and Target to name a few, because they are set up well to deliver goods. Leisure on the internet is growing. Look at Zoom. They are creating playrooms now. Imagine, we all could be Zooming or playrooming all at once. Too much unknowable yet about that. But, but some industries are popping up out of this. Eating at home is getting easier. As is buying goods over internet. More people will order from home in the future, as people grow accustomed. Well, you could bet on the market with an online app and make a few bucks. I just do it because I'm bored. Just to show my financial advisor I can outinvest him. I might or I might not. Okay, i'm taking this to my blog. Edit later. |
| Well this is surreal. Wife exposed on late shift to Covid19 admitting patient today. A person she identified as a co-worker was the passenger in car that pulled up to emergency center. Jen is covering there, because no elective surgery for a trained tech. The woman was getting out, started passing out and threw up on ground, missing my wife. Jen didn't have an n95. Even if she had, it wouldn't correctly fit her face. She's tried in past. They were not prepared for this arrival. People are supposed to call ahead before being seen, or arrive by ambulance. Wife and a nurse were exposed, lacking proper garb for such an extreme case. She's home now. I worked into night to get her bunker ready. A shower curtain separates us on the lower house level. Jen gets a mattress on floor with dresser, small fridge, adjacent bathroom and access to garage. We figured 14 days for the girl in the plastic box-room. My daughter who needs mom most nights is being angsty, where I'm offering comfort. They are constantly thick as thieves. It will be an adjustment...for all. She can't get tested, even as hospital employee. You get sent home until your symptoms are bad. Let's pray that doesn't happen. 🙏 |
Pulled a few oldies from the mothballs, brushed off, polished a bit. Sometimes, perspective informs a writer growing to decide where this journey is leading by rediscovering the past. Is it so unknowable?
written in my last year of college, forced through so many English courses on my way to earning my degree. even then, I was nostalgic for the past, whether I could grasp moments of time escaping to hold onto, much like a good film that you wish would never end. today we have binge-watching episodically like morons, still unsated. when does it stop? when will we accept our own mortality? it's never going to be as good as some shining, pearl vision perfectly captured on film. live it raw and rough and appreciate we cannot ascend to high ideals...and write the damn novel! that's just me yelling at myself. yell at your own self instead making me do it.
I added a footnote to this old poem when I stored it today to my own files. I'm preparing to trim the bushes and hedges in this web place. Too many static items from the past that have no place here now. The above poem was written in my early 20s. That much I can tell you. My mastery of the English language was better than the people I was hanging out with, before I went to college...finally. And, I got smarter. Not that anyone's looking in at my blog posts, or even commenting, but I won't overwhelm with links for the time being. I'm in a different place after this past year, showing me that we got to wind this thing down. I'm not a good fit for this community. |
| Let me just say, I'm learning Coronavirus is making a lot of people crazy. It's understandable to run with emotions over testing/reporting and health care concerns, as I wrote to someone dealing with an inadequate medical provider: "That's quite an ordeal. Glad you're both doing better. My wife screens people here in Green Bay for the virus. She's had her concerns about her own exposure to patients eventually testing positive. She's calmer now, too. You're a great mom. I think the medical community starting with World Health Organization down to leaders on every level are taking their lumps now and well into the future for not being prepared for this. Experts are saying stay calm. Flattening the curve is about not overwhelming the health care system, because they need to prioritize care now. Hopefully, you'll continue to get better. Your body's immune system is key. That hospital could inflict more damage than good going to those ventilators, if they have enough for critical patients. If you can self-manage, you'll have a better chance getting through this. They only want to take you, if you cannot sustain yourself. Results in areas like yours can take a week, because they don't have their own testing facilities. I'll pray for you and your community. Hopefully, the best medicine is just being at home. Keep yourself entertained. Three more weeks? We can do this. We can laugh, this is our trial run for the apocalypse. Laugh. Cry, too. It's all good for you. And, write more. It helps with critical thinking and keeping our wits about us, at times when our brain wants to go into these fight or flight modes. It's normal. Best Love..." All we can do is support one another, learn as we go as is the medical community. My wife introduced me to this guy. He might have a handle on how to cope and reflect on the situation we're in... https://www.facebook.com/ZDoggMD/videos/237602127604975/ |
| It's too early for I told you so. Let's get past this week... https://apple.news/AEeJso10-TYy0710gM1t1mQ When called upon, corporations all the way down to the littlest people are supporting our country...because it is great. |
| It's not uncommon for us to always say we'll get to it later… ...The novel. And during this pandemic that has affected the entire world, like our English speaking portion of it, it would behoove us to spend our extra time while in captivity crafting that elusive beast into existence. Should have struck while the iron was hot, although I don't think it would've done any good because I would've reached this moment… ...The virus invades our life in our sweet little cubby of a home, on a cul-de-sac in the suburb of a semi-rural town in northern Wisconsin. No, none of us that we know of have been infected by COVID-19. But, right now I am preparing a bunker for my wife who is on the front lines checking people in at the hospital who suspect their symptoms might lead to a positive diagnosis of the disease. Right now, she needs reassurances from me that I will be ready to step up for her at the helm of this family to make sure things go smoothly, should she be infected by this disease. We've had some candid conversations about it since she started taking shifts again last week at her hospital. She fulfills an obligation to cover her hours, since elective surgery doctors cannot operate right. It never got more real for her, until three days ago, when the hospital chaplain arrived suffering from obvious symptoms. She had to approach his car and talk to him and get him off to nurses and staff who could situate him. She watched the Chaplain's wife drive away, after the couple had briefly talked and hugged. When she got home that night, it hit her. My seldom emotional wife Was choked up by the sudden realization -- it might have been the last encounter for those two. Two days later, he went into the ICU unit. What does this mean now for us? Well, after talking to Jen about the chances she might actually get coronavirus, her outcome doesn't look good. She wants to make sure she doesn't pass this on to the rest of us. Fortunately, we have a medical professional in the house who knows how to scrub and keep clean and safe and to avoid cross-contamination. She's not confident her hospital can adequately provide her protection, minus a PAPR mask. Her current mask that looks like a beekeeper hood in inadequate. She feels there is an 80% chance she will contract this. I have to be ready to step up. I am in the process of setting up a room in our lower level that's connected to a bathroom. I have to clean it out entirely, sort out, box up, and move stuff to other locations of our home or garage. I have to make it comfortable with a bed and other amenities, because this poor woman (who is on the front lines helping people through this crisis) might have to reside in a 10x10 secluded space by our back entry to garage. She will depend on a dreamer, the most ignorant and foolish person in the world to take care of her and our family if she should go down. I'm actually capable of this task, because when presented with a situation like this, I respond. My back is not against the wall yet, so I'm dragging my feet and sitting here writing this opus...for good reason. I'm trying to process how this is all going to play out, if I have to roll into action. Obstacles. Both of my kids have been spending a lot of time in distraction with video games, social media -- distracting themselves with things on the Internet. Unfortunately, they have not been focusing on their homework for his college or her high school. And, there has been some fluctuating stress in this house about that, especially concern from my wife. And me, dopey dad, with aww shucks mentality, because no one ever listens when he instructs, has to step up and be a leader -- in a situation where I've been diminished in my household by people who don't want my opinion. I don't have a voice... until I hear someone say what does dad think and look up and realize I should've been listening. Well, I'm ready now -- a chance to prove I can be depended on, to see me in a different light. I am actually a strong-willed person with drive, once given keys to take this thing out of park. Problem is, got a cab full of backseat drivers. Now I can shush them, let me do this. So, once I get over that mental mountain, I have to deal with the reality that my wife could be sitting at home with a disease with potential five percent mortality rate. Obviously, if it becomes bad, she won't be living in her house. But, she also doesn't fall into the range or age of people dealing with a fatal situation. So, mortality rate is going to be around 1%. What about me? I told her that if I get COVID-19, I am prepared. I don't feel my life is significant that it should be preserved, so willing to be on front line for her through this. She asked, what about your family? And I said they can get by without me. I'm more of an obstacle. It's morbid, I know. And the chances that either one of us will be greatly affected by this virus is yet unknown, doesn't feel like a real thing (for me) just yet. But, we're preparing. My greatest obstacle is educating my children about this concern and how they can step up themselves and contribute to the process, instead of being lumps in their own beds until after noon every day, without ever accomplishing the simplest of tasks. If they could just pull their own weight, they could ease tension of their parents to better focus or handle impending events likely to unfold. That basement is calling. It needs my attention. |
| Review of "The Question Box" For "Could President Donald Trump become a king?" Hi, This was fun. Too bad. You know, it lines up. But, we would find a reason to go to war with anyone who might try to apply pressure on us to pay. And while our country may have lost favor with countries since President Trump, we are the world's protector. We are the mafia, yes! We put military installations in countries worried about their own defenses, and that speaks louder than money. Patriotism is what keeps us strong. China can't break us, even if they made this virus to weaken us. There are signs they are using the World Health Organization to cover up their shame. Things may be worse over there than they seem. Just ask Japan about their petition to remove the leader of WHO for propaganda campaign and misinformation that led to this messy nightmare we're in. Our great debt to China has been known for years. They had the last four years, since Trump bullied them, to reply. You think in an election year, it's the right time. I think they're scared of us. We'll call any bluff. Don't get worked up over one person's opinion. A conspiracy theory that is the stuff of fiction by someone wanting your attention is omitting a lot of other information to spin their own theory. I'm just basing it off your synopsis here. We have the ability as a free nation to collect information from many sources. Freedom of press. Yes, wealth rules the world. But, this is like a giant board game of Risk. Military is our strength. When we lose that, I'd worry. Until then, fire up the Keurig and binge watch any content you like. We are the Kings and Queens in the end. I would advise not to spread doomsday principals without giving balance to what you opine, because you would be no better than the Youtuber who scared himself with his own fiction. My advise, sleep with the light on, if it helps. I want to see that video. Could you link? Got to run now, cash in my investments Monday. Darn. I really wanted to buy Nike, Apple and Google stock, too. Got 10k burning a hole in my pocket. Capitalism. Am I right? Go figure. So, socialism was never a consideration? B |
| You might have been one of those people, who like me, questioned how our government can come up with a $2 trillion stimulus bill to help our nations economy. There is news now that this will more than double our deficit this year. “In 2013, when the country was still recovering from the Great Recession, (US Senator Mitch) McConnell told CBS News: ‘We now have a debt of $16.4 trillion. That's as big as our economy. That alone makes us look a lot like Greece. We have an incredible spending addiction.’” https://apple.news/AYT2FyPfSRtWozKofhpyuyA Meanwhile, the US stock market did surprisingly well today, despite reports of projected Coronavirus cases and deaths to come, and the impact on lives from having to stay home even longer. President Trump extended the stay at home order until the end of April. If you check that link there are additional stories about people extorting hospitals for money over a surplus of medical supplies. |
| Stay Clean— https://www.facebook.com/1175465270/posts/10219653531746919/?d=n You might get sick of hearing about the inevitable spread of the disease. Let's put in the perspective of a doctor in our area who shared today: "Humbling reality: The worse has not arrived yet. According to Professor Murray from the University of Washington, the peak of our local epidemic, ASSUMING WE CONTINUE WITH PHYSICAL DISTANCE MEASURES, will come on the third week of April. My friends, yes 3 more weeks....It seems by then we will have a statewide deficit of ICU beds. It will get really bad before it gets better. The good news: all this time, every hospital in our area has been taking measures to accommodate for the “surge” as best as we can. ...More somber news. The cases will not disappear overnight. We will be hearing of people passing away every week because of COVID 19 in our State well into summer, even if the epidemic is improving..." He adds, ”Our mortality (Northeast Wisconsin) is about 1.4%, a little bit better as compared to other areas. Having many patients very ill for a long time will impose a lot of stress on us, healthcare workers. Us in the healthcare field, we need to be prepared for busy months and we need to stay positive to develop resilience. Our community is here cheering for us 💚💛💚...” Just an FYI, since my wife and I have information coming from her hospital and caregivers we link to socially. Also, see NYTimes link for daily updates with country map of disease spread. You can see how bad it is especially in New York. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-us-cases.html |
| My doctor told me my glaucoma medication would make my eyes appear darker. Some recent photographs brought that evidence home to light. I've been taking this drug for well over ten years now. Since being post-op to save my eyes (going on thirty years), I've tried all kinds of meds to control the advance of the disease (my family is genetically predisposed). An additional prescription (for one eye only) I've been using for less time. Remarkably, it keeps my right eye blue. I've listened to my cousins from South Dakota say they don't put stock in eye drops to control intraocular pressure. It doesn't do anything to stop the advance of this disease, according to them. My wife, who works in medicine, told me not to stop. But, that extra pressure-controlling drop has me wondering: if I put it in my other eye, will it even out the color of my orbs? I could run it by my doc and wife, but I could also lean toward what my cousins believe. This is vanity talking. I feel sorry for that other, lazy eye. I look in the mirror, it's hard to distinguish. When I look at a digital pic, it's easy to spot an iris turning black with time. Once, when I ran out of drops, I told my eye specialist I supplemented with the additional drug for my lone eye, until a prescription could be filled. He said I made an appropriate choice, without reservation. What harm to just cut back on one medication and increase another, making sure I don't run out of either before refill? Time and these photographs remind me I have more unwanted changes to my appearance coming. However, I think of my mother who suffered through Parkinson's disease. Her family fell on hard times, back where my cousins are from. Mom had worn shoes that left her feet deformed as a child, curling the balls and toes upward. She and her sisters shared shoes. They had little money for new. When I was her kid, I kept massaging those calcified dogs, promising to work them out until they we're normal again. What childhood had taught her was the ability to smile with a frown. Parkinson's took away what little muscle she had left to pull up the corners of her mouth, when it was time for family photographs. We worked with her and coached her. She really wanted those pictures to turn out right. Maybe, it was a hard life she didn't want to be reminded of, seeing images of a bedraggled-looking woman. She had one artificial eye, lost to a staph infection when I was ten. Yet, she had an indomitable spirit that nothing could break. One day we got it right. We were shooting with film back then, so conserving. A picture of her with her enormous stuffed animal collection came out with a real smile and one wild eye. It was a keeper for mom. Maybe, it's vanity for me. Maybe, it's reminding me I'm okay, seeing that other blue eye emerge. I could photoshop. I confess, it is difficult to figure out and gave up on the app years ago. It wouldn't hurt to preserve something, if not my vision as I advance into a dark, unknowable future. Or, I could just recall the indomitable spirit of a woman whose strength taught me to never cry in her presence. |
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/art-books-music/a31955695/baby-rose-on-the-rise-interview/ This is "...a reminder to me to remember what the source is. For all of my happiness, for all of my fulfillment, ultimately comes from myself," she says. "And it's not a cute process. It's not pretty. It's not easy. This isn't gonna be the last time that my heart is broken in one way or another. And I kind of learned to embrace it because when things go left, it usually means some shit is about to go right." |
| Vulnerable, yes When it comes to you With sunset daring my blue eyes I don’t blink View you solid Like the obstacle drawing me To its billion degree fire Strength, yes Restrained in my solid form Daring me clench you Spin together in this dying shine See how I live Close enough to hear me breathe Breathlessly your name Squeeze these granite arms yielding To your tender form Mix with my man’s musk Inhale our essence intertwined Before light separates My black from your glowing Inspired more passionately, deeply, I lean into you, sway To our heart's unifying rhythm. |
| Attempt at Allegory When she sidled up, she couldn't match his long strides. Roxanne had introduced herself with simple innocence. He slowed his pace, knew he was not to be left alone, roam free. She had accosted him with such clever sweetness it could make any man's head turn. But, he could not know her. She was not even a vision -- just a guardian to lead him back to his room. Brian had a history of anxiety, meltdowns. He couldn't just wander about, conjecture to the others. He had felt that soft hand guide before. He was always led to quiet places. It was like the smell of glue, crayons and markers -- given busy work to help with the obsessing. Each time he realized even sooner the ruse. Feeling manipulated, he would go along with the game long enough to earn their trust back...again. A door slid partly opened facing a gray wall. "Why are we here?" "This will be your new home in a few years. I thought you would like to see it," Roxanne pleasantly replied. A concrete floor laid before a windowless room. It was just like he imagined: no air vents, square and dead silent. He noticed the peeling numbers '6, 0' on the entry. What he dreaded was presented like a new opportunity, or the beginning of the end. His days wandering the halls were now numbered. Before waking from this dream, Brian had an odd feeling. How long had he lived in this asylum? Maybe, stay in bed a little longer, give lucid dreaming one more try. |
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![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)
In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
