My True Soul

If I were king of the world...

"If I were the King of the World...I'd throw away the cars and the bars of the world and make sweet love to you." - "Joy to the World" Three Dog Night

Although I don't exactly have the time to be writing this, I'm writing it.

She woke me up this morning by kissing me. It was about 15 minutes before I had to get up, apparently she woke up, and decided to wake me up for a bit. I have wanted someone to do that so badly. I think the only person who really knows how much that means to me is April. I think you and I have discussed it, have we not? Anyways, I've said I'd adore the person who did that and would know I should be with them. Well... yes. Last night, as I was falling asleep, she leaned into my ear and told me that she loves me. The night before, we'd had a discussion about saying I love you. We've both wanted to, numerous times. I've seen it in her eyes, I figure she's seen it in mine. But, both of us are so friggin nervous about all of it. I could have told her Friday night, easily. But, I waited. I wanted her to say it first. Why? Then she'd be sure and not want to run.

I didn't get nearly as much done this weekend as I should have, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'll just work a bit harder this week, that's all. (Woot! Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin)

I think Ty was pissed at us this weekend. Sue me, I didn't spend EVERY day of the week of him. I DIDN'T go with him for shopping on Saturday. I NEVER told him it was a for sure thing. I TOLD him that Saturday night I was cooking for Manda. I MADE plans to be alone with her that night. He can bite my ass and that should keep him busy. And btw, if your two closest friends were dating and upon taking one home, knowing that they probably would not see each other for probably 2 weeks at least, if not longer, would you turn your head for like 5 seconds so they could kiss each other goodbye? Is that too much to f***ing ask for? One kiss. Not making out, no, not even french kissing. A single kiss. Well, apparently, it's enough to make him feel like he'll be in the way. I told him that Sunday when we thought we were going to take her home, he got kinda pissy, "well, I can see I'm not wanted and that I'll be in the way, so I'll just go back to my apartment." Oh well, he got exposed to it today. They'd walked me to class, we were coming down some stairs, rounded the corner, I looked at her and vice versa and we kissed. I so didn't mean to do it, nor did she. I know he had to have seen that. Right after that he said he had to go to the little boy's room.
Speaking of Saturday, I asked him what was up on Sunday, his reply? "Just got out of a bed a little bit ago.... thanks for ditiching me the other day." How can you ditch someone when you don't make definite plans with them?
Argh, he annoys me so. I wonder a lot why I stay friends with him.
Then we have nights like tonight. He amuses me.
Then we have nights like tonight where when I say things with school aren't going too great, but things with my life are, he fusses and bitches. "Well at least your personal life isn't going to hell in a handbasket." 'I'm sorry that it isn't, would you like me to make myself miserable to please you?" That's what I want to say. I'm sorry, we all have our own individual lives and while I feel for him and wish that he would have things going his way, I am NOT going bring myself down to that level and roll around in self-pity with him.

He bitches about Manda's best friend Vicki and how she is. In some ways, he's SO much like her when it comes to men. However, I prefer Vicki. Yes, I prefer HER best friend to Tyler. I haven't met her best friend yet, but still. Manda and I talked about him on Wednesday night and how we feel about him. We care about him sometimes, but, we both feel somewhat like we've just gotten ourselves too far in and can't break free. Is it any wonder I spent most of Saturday with her and such?

What else happened this weekend? Watched Hitchhiker's Guide, again. I fell asleep numerous times. But, still, I adore it.

Manda made me a mixed CD. I'm listening to it right now. It's really cute. I'm still trying to figure out why the songs are on there. She almost always has some kinda logical reason for doing the things she does. And anyways, she told me there was a reason why she put these songs on there. "You're the top" by Cole Porter is really cute.

Let's see. I've got to do some more stuff online, so I guess I'll stop here.

My god, I've gotten so much more motherly towards some people....