%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |   The only blog that will put hair on your chest... |
|
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Turning from the Dark Side ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** < This is where I'll insert a cool new blog description. Someday. > |
| I slipped into a pharmacy on the way home today thinking I could duck in quick and get the nail polish. What a joke. I had no idea you could line an entire wall with cosmetics. Well, I guess I did, but the only time an entire wall should be reserved for one type of product is when Dick's Sporting Goods has their baseball glove display up. Anywho, I slinked around, finding a spot that let me look at toothbrushes whilst peering at the cosmetics section out of the corner of my eye. Finally the aisles cleared out and I slipped into that aisle. Luckily the right side of the aisle was deodorants and shampoos, so I was able to pretend I was looking at those instead. I glanced back at the cosmetics now and again, until finally my eyes settled on a rack of little glass vials. It had to be. I turned around and snatched the nearest red one off the shelf. I started to bring it to my face to examine when a woman turned the corner. I shoved it back on the shelf quick, and returned to the toothbrushes. When she was gone I went back. I was looking at "Nail Color." Now I thought I was looking for nail polish, so I wondered if I had the wrong thing. I started scanning the shelves. Luckily no one was around so I was able to walk up and down, lightly touching the vials. I quickly discovered there was both nail polish and nail color. And they looked exactly the same! I started reading the little signs and advertisements. I realized I was totally clueless. All these little vials, in addition to offering several shades, seemed to be several different products, all with different benefits and purposes. What the hell?! I left the store dejected. I was all set to complete my mission, and I failed because I hadn't been properly briefed. Will someone please tell me if I need "polish" or "color"? And what about all these different options? Can I just grab the polish or color with the nicest looking shade? Do I need to investigate to get one with certain features? Please! I need female assistance here! |
| So today was going to be the Great Heist... well, the Great Nail Polish Purchase anyway. I had the blueprints of my plan, all the necessary equipment (particularly my wallet and my wits about me), an escape plan, and the theme from Mission Impossible playing in my head. But first, a master of cosmetic espionage needs sustenance to get him through the grueling seconds of evading suspicious employees and patrons, dodging the concerned looks from homophobic shoppers, and streaking down the aisle with mere seconds to snatch the bottle before his ego explodes and all is lost. So I of course went to Subway. The girls at Subway made me my usual, without me ever having to order of course. We exchanged pleasantries, and they went ahead and made my sandwich. That's service for you. I took a seat at the mall food court and started to munch, building my strength and especially my courage for Operation Polish Swipe. The mall was quiet today, abnormally so for a weekday noon-hour, but that was perfect. I could slip in and out without being seen. Confrontation was not something I needed, especially since I had fallen behind on my judo lessons and charm school classes. And then the enemy hatched a nefarious plan. I was about to drop my bag in the trash and do a quick recon of CVS before the drop and pickup, but the accounting manager from my company showed up and sat down at my table. We ended up chatting the entire lunch hour. I certainly wasn't going to dodge the guy who approves my paychecks for a bottle of ... what's a creative, yet somewhat mocking masculine synonym for nail polish anyway? Long story short, the mission was a failure again. This time it didn't even get off the ground. Tomorrow it's do or die, or maybe both if I get caught in the act. Wish me luck, I'll need it. Also, I'm offering a prize for the best name for this operation. I admit Operation Polish Swipe is seriously lame, and not even mildly amusing. What do you expect? I'm at work for crying out loud. Anyway, GPs or a merit badge to the best name for my mission. This little contest ends Friday night at midnight, because that happens to be my own deadline. |
| 1. I am: slowly becoming the person I've always wanted to be, thanks in large part to the person I was always waiting for but never really thought I'd find. 2. I think: therefore I am. 3. I know: trivial facts that most people mock me for knowing. 4. I want: to be with her right now. 5. I have: way too much to get done at work today. 6. I wish: I could be a better person, one not bound by fears and anxieties. I'm getting there. 7. I hate: cassanovas, arrogant people who think they're better, know-it-alls, and petty people. There's more I'm sure, but I'm trying to be positive. 8. I miss: my... fill in the blank. I think I did this one before. 9. I fear: looking like a fool, disappointing my sweetheart, and failing at anything I attempt. 10. I hear: the voicemails she's left on my cellphone for the third time today. I'll listen to them again later. 11. I search: for nothing. It's already been found. 12. I wonder: if everything is preordained. I think it might be. 13. I regret: growing up too fast and too alone and wasting away my formative years inside this self-induced shell. On the other hand, maybe that was preparation for this. If so, then the lost time and the regret are well worth it. 14. I love: the way she laughs, the way she rhymes words, the way she teases me, the way she whispers when she's content, the way she knows what I'm thinking, the way she always beats me to it, the way she's succumbing to her feelings, and every little bit in between. I could list a million things I love about a million different things and people in the world, but those are the most important ones. 15. I truly care: about her. 16. I always: will. 17. I am not: going to cry when the time comes. 18. I dance: only when I'm comfortable with all my company and when I'm feeling especially silly. I dance for humor more than grace. 19. I sing: alone in the car. Sometimes I sing when I'm driving and others ride with me. But I lay off the love ballads in that scenario. 20. I cry: for my grandfather almost every other day. 21. I fight: to find the courage to carry on as a normal person, to do all those things that everyone does that plague my fears so. 22. I write: hardly ever anymore. I've written for her, and I will again. And one day, I'll write for my grandfather. 23. I lose: weight little by little, ever approaching my goal of being in good shape. 24. I win: oodles of money playing poker. Some day I'll make a second income doing it. 25. I'm confused: about nothing. For the first time in a while, I've found clarity. 26. I listen: for her breath during the moments of silence when we're lost in each others voice and presence. 27. I can usually be found: behind a computer. I work 8 hours a day at a computer, and now I come home to one everyday too. 28. I need: her in my arms. 29. I am happy about: being alive for the first time in over a year. 30. I should: really get back to work. It's piling up, but I desperately needed a break. |
| I received a review of this blog today. It included the following message: I never realized how badly I needed to overcome fear the same way you need to do. I've been fearing all my life, I mean, as a student, you fear your teachers (nah, that was when I was young), I fear of failing, fear of parents... I fear of mistakes and problems that lie ahead of life. Perhaps, I should be called Darth Fearfutes, Ah, just fearful would do, anyway, I never thought I did overcome it, until when I read some blogs of yours, then I finally knew that all I needed to do was to overcome fear of daily activities or occurances, and maybe, this would become a habit, then a character! Well, I find it a lot easier to know how myself or how others feel when I am given a situation to place my shoes in. I would really like to thank you for the so-called 'enlightenment' (eh, man, this is true, I feel it that way, although it sounds a little funny) you gave me. Man, I would try to work on it, doing things that I didn't dare to do, since I thought I could have given a thousand and one solutions to the let say nail-polish situation, and maybe I could just apply the situation for myself, perhaps it would help? That must be one of the best reviews I've received. Granted it wasn't a review per se, but to think I actually made a difference in someone's life. To think I'm setting an example, acting as a role model. What is the world coming to?  In all seriousness though, if my recent and continuing transformation from fear, anxiety, and aloofness has inspired or taught any of my readers anything, then I'm glad. I lost a large part of my teen years and all my early twenties because I was afraid. I don't want any young people to experience the regret I experience now. I missed out on a lot of good stuff. Stop hiding, seize the day, and cherish those times. And don't try to do it alone. |
And I'm euphoric. Love is a beautiful thing. Love with her is... what I've been waiting for.  |
Midnight Dawn  asked that I take this quiz in her journal so here goes: http://www.okcupid.com/politicsYou are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (61% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. According to the accompanying charts, I'm most like a Libertarian, which isn't surprising because that's the party I belong to. In terms of famous people I'm apparently most like Adam Sandler and Donald Trump.  I'll take their money but Trump can keep his wig and Sandler can keep his ... uh... "sense of humor." |
| I received a challenge not too long ago, and anyone who knows me knows I can't resist a challenge. In this case I was challenged to buy some nail polish. That doesn't seem like a big deal at first glance. Now put yourself in my shoes: a color-blind, 94% masculine, backwoods computer programmer with no fashion sense or feminine inclinations whatsoever. The rules of the challenge are I have to pick it out alone, with no help from anyone except the sales clerk if I want it, and I must go into the store to get it. In other words, no ordering it online. Damn. So today for lunch I went the Subway at the mall, and then walked down to CVS. I had a plan. I'd scope out the section where the nail polish is located, snatch the first reddish bottle I saw, scurry to another part of the story, pick up several items I didn't really need just so no one thinks I'm there just for the nail polish, and quietly advance to the register when no one is in line. Then, because I'm one hell of a bull shitter, I'll somehow slip into the conversation with the cashier that the nail polish is for my girlfriend or my sister or something. Things never go as planned do they? I walked into CVS and the only occupants were three employees. Okay, so far so good. I strolled immediately for the Halloween candy to throw off suspicion. Little did they know I'm all the while scanning the signs overhead for the appropriate aisle. "Nail Care." Bingo. I start to take a left turn into the aisle where a huge Revlon display is looming large, when I suddenly see the female employee stocking shelves mere feet from the makeup sections. I casually started to dip back and around, hoping she'd finish and leave. Whammo! Here comes a male employee down the aisle. So I did the only thing I could do. I ducked into the candle aisle, slipped behind two patrons checking out the Halloween decorations, and ran like a bat out of hell. I chickened out. But now I've cased the joint. I know who the lunchtime employees are. I know when it's not busy. I know where the nail polish is located. I'm one step closer. I only have a few more days to execute my mission, but I think I can do it. Like the little choo-choo said "I think I can, I think I can." Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, Ernie, you big, macho, paranoid, love-stricken goofball you. All I know is the prize better be a good one. |
Lately I've discovered that I've been telling people how I do everything in threes. Friday night I told my brother's girlfriend that and yesterday I told both mood indigo  and Mariposa . See, I even admit to it in threes. It's clearly some sort of compulsion. Anyway, I tend to do almost everything in threes so I figured I'd list some. The truth is I'm only writing about this because I wrote two blogs entries today and I need a third.  I write three blog entries at a time. I count my money three times before I start pumping gas. I count my money three times before I hand it to the cashier. I check to make sure I have my wallet three times. I reread messages from my sweetie three times. I check my cards three times when playing poker. I count my change three times before going to the vending machine. I tend to give up after a failed third attempt. Or I at least go for help. I have sex three times in a day/evening? Well, I know I'm capable of it and eager to, so I'll just have to wait and find out someday. I have a big Roman numeral III at the end of my name. I generally play first base on the ballfield (position #3). I say things like "yep yep yep". Well not really, but it sounded amusing. Until I heard my sweetie say that, I thought only Ducky from The Land Before Time ever did that. Anyone else remember that movie? I double check everything three times. eg shutting the stove off, making sure I locked the door, checking the program I set the DVR to record, etc I have all my crucial data synced up on three computers. I have three testicles. And I sold the Brooklyn Bridge three times too.  I was a three-eyes, when the lens on my glasses popped out. I sometimes move as fast as a three-toed sloth. I love the Three Stooges, Huey, Duey, and Louie, and "Hi, my name is Larry. This is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl." (GPs to whoever can identify that last reference). Okay, I'll try to add to this list later, but right now it's lunch time. What do you like in threes? |
As per mood indigo 's request, I checked out "Invalid Entry"  and decided to play along. Here are they are whether or not they apply to me:1) The Going Pro Journal: Oh please, everyone knows I'm doing a miserable job, or rather lack thereof, at attempting at publish. There is something I want to publish so I can get that dedication page to my grandfather, but I guarantee I wouldn't tell anyone if I was actively pursuing publishing. Well, almost anyone. 2) The GP Monger: Hah! I'm the one that people come to when pleading for those GPs. They see me hand out stuff pretty freely because I don't bother with the nonsense of anonymity, so they figure I'm a sucker. Well, I'm not, so if you come begging for money, you won't get jack squat from me. For that matter you'll lose any iota of respect I had for you. I'd like to administer a swift kick to your virtual ass too. I give freely, but never to beggars. Get a job! 3) The Weight-Loss Journal: Well, I'm sort of doing that. I have commented on my lifestyle changes and my sudden need for smaller clothes. No weights recorded or anything because I don't weigh myself. If I'm boring anyone with those details, tell me so I nix it. Actually, don't bother, because I'll just ignore you anyway. 4) The Keeping It Real Journal: Alas, I don't speak "ghetto" so I'm not sure what this entry means. I'm fluent in "hick" and "backwoods yokel" however. And drawing the likely parallel, then yeah, I'll open a can of whoop ass on ya if ya look at me wrong. 5) My Coworker Stole My Pencil Journal: Am I really the only one that loves their job? Despite the recent trials at work, I'm still sitting pretty doing what I love for more money than a backwoods bachelor really needs. 6) I Have A Kid. Did You Know That I Have a Kid? Journal: I don't have any kids, but I want to have kids. Did you know that I want to have kids? 7) I Have A Girlfriend. Did You Know That I Have A Girlfriend? Journal" Well, I'm not sure that's what you should call her, but yes, of course you did. I'm a sap and a hopeless romantic, so everyone knows it. If something's wrong with that, then piss off. I'm not full-blown on this one though. I have the decency to keep intimate details between the two of us. 8) I'm A Writing.com Social Butterfly Journal: Me? You're kidding right? If anything my journal talks about making enemies. I'm problematic for a reason. If you make it into my close circle of friends, you can be damn sure you mean something to me. Getting in there isn't easy though. There's a five part application process. I weed out most of the would-be friends with the essay section. 9) The Cutting [Boy] Journal: Okay, I'm a little wacky and crazy, usually in a good way, and I've dealt with depression and anxiety pretty frequently, but if I ever start writing like that, please slap me in the straightjacket and commit me somewhere. I'd prefer Arkham Asylum personally. 10) The Serious Writer Journal: Have I ever thought my own writing was good? Well, have I ever consistently thought it? Hell no. For that matter, have you ever known me to be serious? 11) The Tedious Recounting of Daily Events Journal: Seriously now, if I ever do this, someone please shoot me. My last request is a kiss from my sweetheart, and then hang me, draw and quarter me, and beat me with a wet noodle after that. 12) The "My Journal Is Art" Journal: Does waxing philosophical and drawing poker metaphors to everything apply here? Yeah, I suppose it does. 13) The Many Quiz Results Journal: I'm getting bored. I need to go do a survey or quiz after this. 14) The Gimmicks 'N' Stuff Journal: Ah hah! One that really fits. But hey, I'm so great, I deserve it. Nobody can buy attention, friendship, and entertainment like I can. Admit it, the only thing overshadowing my GP wallet is my superior wit and infinite charm. And that reminds me, the first one to post a comment accurately telling me what "Arkham Asylum" is as mentioned above wins some GPs. 15) The "I Don't Write For You, I Write For Me, So If You Don't Like It, Fuck Off!" Journal: I don't even write, I ramble and gesticulate virtually so this one isn't even applicable. 16) The Political Rant Journal: I used to be a staunch conservative, and now I'm non-political. I learned a long time ago that political rants accomplish nothing, so why waste my breath? Both sides are going to give us horrible candidates to choose from anyway. Anyone else sick of voting for the presumed lesser evil? And there's my first political rant in this journal ever. objurgate closed her entry by saying "None of us are perfect." I beg to differ. I assure you, I am quite perfectly problematic. |
| Stole this one from Mariposa : 1. Are you missing any body parts (internally or externally) & if so what? Nope. 2. What kind of milk do you drink? Anything but whole milk. 3. What word can't you stand? There's a word I won't say. Some people know what it is. When some people say it, mostly women, I'm okay with it. But it's too derogatory for me to say. 4. What's the latest you've ever stayed up? All night talking to my sweetheart. 5. Do you ever dance while brushing your teeth? Not that I recall. 6. Have you ever tried brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand? Nope 7. BTW... Which is your more dominant hand or are you ambidextrious? Right-handed obviously. I'm as left-brained as they come. 8. When was the last time you broke the law and what did you do to break it? I was speeding just the other day. Going a whopping 5 miles over the speed limit. 9. When you're in your house do you pee with the door open or closed? Sometimes if I'm home alone. I might even go pee of the deck if that's the case. 10. In elementary school did you have to bring anything for the 100th day? I do vaguely remember some reference to the 100th day, but I don't remember any details. 11. What is the jewelry you wear daily? My watch. 12. Do you collect anything weird? Baseball gloves and swords, though I haven't bought a new sword since last summer. My favorite: this or that home or cell - home cash or credit - credit mom or dad - mom purple or pink - ummm... everyone knows I'm a guy right? radio or CDs - radio CDs or ipods - CDs acoustic or electric - It depends on whether I want to chill or headbang fingers or toes - fingers, I can do lots of good things with them braces or retainers - Neither, though I probably needed both bras or panties - Ummm... well, I'd like to take both off football or basketball - football play sports or watch them - both make music or hear music - listen to it, and if I'm singing along, run! his best friend or his girlfriend - Huh? What's the question? She's both. windows down or air conditioning - Depends on how hot it is fireplace or bonfire - Snuggling and cuddling in front of the fireplace, roasting marshallows over the bonfire camp in the living room or camp in the back yard - living room lake or ocean - it depends creek or river - creek, nothing quite like a babbling brook asdfghjkl; or ;lkjhgfdsa - The first one obviously neon orange or neon green - I'll go with green this or that - this ooooh or ahhhh - ooooh agressive or shy - shy old fashioned or modern - most old-fashioned but with a modern perspective 'boy' or 'guy'- guy pine trees or leafy trees - Hardwoods (ie leafy trees for the woodland ignorant) tin cup or frost'n'steam - Uh, yeah, whatever movies or videogames - movies mud wrestling or snow wrestling - I've never wrestled in the mud, though I'm willing to try. In the meantime definitely the snow. trumpet or trombone - trombone carrots or peas - carrots apples or pomegranets - apples crying or laughing - laughing smoking or drinking - drinking, I need to get totally sloshed one of these days pop or soda - soda homecoming or prom - neither First Word (or phrase) That Comes to Your Mind... Fish - fillet Chicken - sandwich Ronald - McDonald Bird - shit Hockey - Penguins Energy - Duracell Love - I won't give a name Jock - athlete Banana - split Rent - a car Wicked - witch Snow - men Question - mark Bee - stinger Tree - hardwood Food - lunch Water - H20 Hate - enemy Right - wrong Wrong - turn School - marm Toe - ring Space - monkey Cow - bell Moon - shot Hide - and go seek God - Jesus Play - mobile |
| I discovered that none of my T-shirts really fit anymore. I downright swim in some of them. So Saturday night my sister offered to take me shopping. The fact is I'm a complete ignoramus when it comes to fashion, so I need a female perspective to help me buy stuff. She said she'd take along her friend, which happens to be my brother's girlfriend, so I insisted he come too so I didn't wind up coming home with pinks shirts. He's a bit of a pretty boy sometimes and can be just a touch vain, so I figured he'd have a clue too. So Sunday morning was spent at the mall. We trekked through Sears, JCPenney, Filenes, and God only knows where else that my traumatized mind blacked out. We quickly discovered I had dropped two shirt sizes. I was resistant to that much change, but all three insisted I looked much better in two sizes smaller. I would have been content to only go down one size because I prefer things rather loose anyway. Apparently that's all wrong though. They insisted the smaller ones actually are slimming because I'm not swimming in them or some such nonsense. I bought three new shirts, which was highly disappointing. I was hoping for several more, but we couldn't really find anything. My sister nearly bludgeoned me with her keys to get me to try on some $50 striped shirt. They all thought it looked great, but I wasn't there to buy long-sleeves, so I shoved the poorly folded blue thing back on the shelf. There was mention of trying on the $60 pink collared shirt too, and I greeted that idea with a grunt of disgust and some general gagging motions. So instead I just came home with three new short-sleeved shirts, all collared and none particularly interesting. I felt like I had thrown money away. They made me buy a couple new pairs of jeans too. My jeans only dropped a size, and frankly I can see no difference whatsoever between these and my old ones. The three fashion stooges insisted they look much better though. Finally I drew the line when they suggested I buy fancier underwear or something. I asked what difference it made what my underwear were like since no one would see them, and I got three grins in return. I'm pretty sure I blushed when they suggested a certain someone might be seeing them. I chased them out of the mall shortly after that. So a morning of shopping left me dejected and $120 poorer. I think I need to stick to catalogs and the Internet. |
| Saturday night included a big family trip to my favorite Chinese restaurant. That in turns mean fortune cookies. I picked out one cookie and it actually had two fortunes inside. Let's see what I can derive from them. "What's vice today may be virtue tomorrow." Yup, that ones makes sense. I'm always setting the standards for society. Today they'll call me a freak and morally deprived, but tomorrow they'll realize I had it figured out all along. Sometimes it's hard being so original and sheer genius. "You have an unusually magnetic personality." So tell me something I don't know. Seriously, I must really have a personality I never knew I had. All those years of hiding away, and all it took was opening up for people to be attracted to this sparkling and charming inner Ernie. And I as pulled these fortunes out of my wallet, I found another fortune from a previous visit. I'm not sure if I recorded this one previously or not, but I like it, so I'll quote it for good measure: "Sing and rejoice, fortune is smiling on you." Well, if I get that new job, my fortune will be increasing by about 25%. Personally though, the monetary fortune isn't what I'm most looking forward to. Money means nothing really in the grand scheme of things. |
| Last night one of my brother's buddies came around. He's been away at college, so I haven't seen him in a couple months. He and I don't really like each other. We get along, and are generally civil to one another, though I tend to sharpen my sarcastic wit on him and his annoying girlfriend. Anyway, I found out later that he said something along the following lines to my brother and my parents: "What happened to Ernie? Did he lose a bunch of weight? I can see it. And it looks like he's gotten a life while I was away." Now, coming from him, I take all that as a compliment. He tries to find any reason at all to think I'm a loser. Of course I do the same for him. Frankly he's my brother's friend, but my brother doesn't even like him much anymore. In any case, the fact that he noticed my weight loss was promising. I don't notice it myself, but he's someone that hasn't seen me in a while so it must be true. I guess he mentioned that he could specifically see it in my face. That's good, because that's one of the places I am most desperate to lose the weight. I know I still have a very long way to go, but apparently I'm getting there. |
| Yeah, it's just one of those days. One of those days where I manage to do everything wrong, manage to misunderstand everything, manage to miscommunicate my point, manage to flub everything up, and manage to be a total asswipe. Sometimes I wonder if my subconscious likes to sabotage myself. If that were true, the next logical question would be "Does your subconscious want something different?" The answer is clearly no, because after I mess something up I inevitably have horrible dreams about it and lie in my own pool of tears for varying lengths of time afterward. Part of that is already beginning to happen today. So then is it a gremlin in my subconscious? Is it some evil or divine force that wants to end my stability and happiness pulling my strings? Is it a malfunction in the firing of synapses? Nah, it's simple ignorance. I'm an extremely fast learner, and there are some things that I'll pick up on immediately. Hell, I took differential equations in college just for fun and finished the coursework way ahead of schedule. And yet, in other regards I'm a complete ignoramus and slow to learn. Ironically those things I'm slow to figure out are the simplest and/or the most important things we can learn in life. Sometimes I think I should have been built a robot rather than born a human. The whole lack of emotion thing would help with feeling the occasional hurt too. On the other hand, there are some emotions that make it all worth while. Unfortunately the euphoria and the pain can go hand in hand. My mind has always been a place of inputs and outputs. For each series of inputs, there is an expected and calculated output. Additional variables affect the calculation, but the result is still predictable. And so when I'm thrown into things where we cannot predict an outcome, my mind tries to calculate one anyway. And if life were like math, then the mysteries of love and life and happiness and society are like dividing by zero. My mind errors, and I can't calculate the answer. This translates into often assuming the worst in life when I can't figure out the answer. It's going to take someone to show me what it means to wait for an unpredictable result. Luckily I think I've found that person. |
| I've been getting compliments on my changing appearance lately. People have begun noticing the weight loss. I don't really see it myself except in noticing the sudden looseness of my clothes. I asked my mom and dad last night if they could notice a difference since they see me more often than other people who have commented. They confirmed it, and my mom said I overall look smaller, stomach, face, everywhere. Now there's all you need to motivate you to do more. I've still got a long way to go though. I'm never going to be a little guy; that's just not my body structure. I wouldn't want to be real little anyway, but I'm determined to lose all the flab and get toned, etc. A year from now my old college buddies won't recognize me. I got a compliment on my growing goatee, too, from a lady at work. Personally I think I look like a bum right now. It's just starting to fill out. If it's not full by next weekend, I'll shave it right off. I think it is going to look good though, or at least better. Some other people seem to agree. And there's my boring entry for the state of affairs in the changing lifestyle of problematic content. |
| Okay so here are the much awaited (yeah right) true/false answers: 1) Only one time in my life did a girl sit on my lap. True It was my senior year in Advanced Placement European History. 80% of the class was away at a field trip or something. That left the teacher, me, and a small handful of girls in the class. The salutorian (I was valedictorian by the way) suddenly did some sort of dance for me and sat on my lap for several minutes. I turned beat red and sat there frozen for the duration. 2) One time at a coaching clinic, I played a fly ball off the Green Monster. False I have never been on the field at Fenway Park. 3) I've eaten a dog biscuit. True When I was about 17 I got home from school and was complaining there was nothing to eat for a snack. I said I'd eat a dog biscuit, and my mom and brother dared me to. I bit off a section, swallowed part of it, and spit and sputtered for several minutes to try and dispell the taste. 4) My best offline friend doesn't know I'm a member of this site. True My best friend from way back in high school doesn't even know I write. In fact, years ago he was the one interested in writing a bit, not me. 5) My high game in bowling is 212. False Hell no. I can hit a curveball, but I'm abysmal at bowling. My high game is a horrendous 163. 6) I once got kicked out of a theatre for making calls on my cellphone. False I've never made or received a call in a theatre. 7) I once killed a squirrel with a BB gun. False Nope, never happened. I'm a country boy, but hunting isn't my thing. 8) One time I got my genitalia stuck in a wood splitter. TRUE!!! No one got this one right! I was splitting wood while wearing loose pants. My pants got snagged and my waist was pulled toward the splitting wedge. A certain piece of my manhood started to get pinched between the wood and the wedge. I quickly reversed the ram and slipped free. Don't worry. Everything is still fully intact and fully functional. I went and checked immediately. I was just a little sore for a couple days. 9) I once dreamed that I killed my brother. False Nope, never happened. It turns out I'm much more violent towards my brother in real life than I am in my dreams. 10) I once ate seven lobsters and at least a pound of shrimp at a seafood buffet. True I was on vacation in Florida and discovered this buffet. I also ate 4 slices of pizza, a couple hot dogs, ice cream, several chicken strips, and a few other minor items. I spent most of the night rolling around and moaning in the hotel bed. The next night I did it all over again. The winner is... mood indigo , Midnight Dawn , Tiger*girl , and kittiara all tied with 6 correct answers. Their prizes will be on the way shortly. |
| Half the Beckwith clan suffers from anxiety or depression or some combination of the two. I'm sure I fit into both categories, but I deal with it in my own ways. My father suffers from both too, though anxiety more so. He had to start popping a pill because his anxiety attacks were becoming dangerous to his health. The occasional meds keep him sailing on an even keel though. Anyway, I mention this because we've added another Beckwith to the anxiety list. It turns out my brother is suffering from some sort of panic/anxiety disorder. Most of his recent health problems are attributed to it. The rest of us catch on quicker, but the doctor thinks my brother was bottling it all up for so long that he finally exploded. My family's lives have changed drastically in the last year. While the rest of us have dealt with it together or turned to other outlets (e.g. me), my brother let it eat him up like I tend to do. Unfortunately he's not as strong as I am. A combination of moving twice in 6 months, my accident last winter, our grandfather dying, getting a girlfriend, changing jobs, and a slew of other minor details slowly drove him to the point of breaking. The anxiety finally caught up and threatened his health. Now he's going to pop a pill and hopefully all will be well. Ah, the wonders of science and the woes of a chemical imbalance. My own anxieties, fears, and on again off again depression have dissipated and nearly vanished over the past few months. I had a serious breakdown not too long ago. Since then I've learned things to make my heart swell. I've found happiness that will hopefully last forever, I've changed my lifestyle, and I've conquered fear after fear. I do wonder though what would I happen if I suffer some setback. Will I break down again? Will I need to take a pill too? Can I ever just maintain equilibrium and happiness on my own? |
| Anyone who's been reading my blog knows I've been shedding pounds and building muscle and actually enjoying the process. Lately though I've noticed that my work pants are starting to slide. Even with the belt cinched, they're slipping a bit. The same is true of my jeans. My shirts are looser too, but in a good way. At least my shorts have an elastic band. So how soon before I have to buy new work pants? I hate buying clothes, especially work clothers, for myself. It always involves bringing a female along, usually my mom or sister, because I have no taste or fashion sense whatsoever. It doesn't help that I'm color blind, and no one in my family has ever dressed business casual prior to me. As it is I have to keep all my shirts and pants clustered together in the closet or I'd end up wearing a rather foolish-looking outfit I'm sure. My sweetheart said she'll lay my clothes out for me each morning. It makes me feel like a little kid, but her taste is certainly better than mine. Anyway, the point of this entry... As I keep losing weight, I'm going to have to replace all my clothes. That's both a rewarding premise and a dismaying one. Clearly it indicates success in my mission, but it also detracts from other things I'd rather be spending my money on... like saving for a down payment on that Hummer or Mustang. |
| I applied for that Analyst job. I'm doing most of the work already, and it's okay. It's not my favorite work, but it's also worth a minimum of another $10,000 a year according to my supervisor. So I wonder if I do get this job, which I suspect I might, whether or not I should trade my van in for a Hummer or if I should just get a Mustang. So I need everyone's opinion again. If I get the job and decide I can swing another payment or a larger one, which do I do:  Trade my pimped out van in and get a Hummer. Trade my van in for something less expensive and practical and then get a Mustang too. |
| Mariposa came up with this one. Simply post a comment here listing what you think is true and false. A hefty prize goes to the reader who gets the most right. 1) Only one time in my life did a girl sit on my lap. 2) One time at a coaching clinic, I played a fly ball off the Green Monster. 3) I've eaten a dog biscuit. 4) My best offline friend doesn't know I'm a member of this site. 5) My high game in bowling is 212. 6) I once got kicked out of a theatre for making calls on my cellphone. 7) I once killed a squirrel with a BB gun. 8) One time I got my genitalia stuck in a wood splitter. 9) I once dreamed that I killed my brother. 10) I once ate seven lobsters and at least a pound of shrimp at a seafood buffet. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
