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 |  Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket? |
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Fair Warning: I've upped the rating on this blog. It is now set at GC. |
Today I got an email with resumes for the next round of interviewees. Six resumes. Six candidates for three positions.  The odds are not in my favor. Hire me, hire me I learn pretty quick who’s apple to polish, and who’s boots to lick. Hire me, hire me I’m available now. I just gave my notice to that bitchy old cow! Hire me, hire me I’ve so much to offer. I need wads of cash-ola for lining my coffers. Hire me, hire me I just finished school. I majored in psych And the world is damn cruel. Hire me, hire me I’ll give you my all 'til I come off probation Sometime next fall.  Seriously though, is it a bad sign when the qualifications on a resume include "valid driver's license," and "United States citizen authorized for employment with any organization." Somehow I was hoping for more. |
| When I came home from work, the door was locked. As it should be. I stuck the key in the knob lock, but still it wouldn’t open. Dead bolt. She knows. Katie knows. And she needs to know. Still, I wish I could take it all away from her. I wish the reality wasn't so ugly... so harsh. She's only 12 years old. She's my baby. But reality packs one hell of a punch. The world is the same place it was yesterday... same place it'll be tomorrow too. Reality hasn't changed just because this time it struck close to home. Someone is trying to take children in this town. There have been two attempted abductions in less than a week. Last night was blessedly cool. The rain came through with fresh chilled air behind it. A perfect night for sleeping with the windows open. A perfect opportunity. Just a half mile from my house, he let himself in through her bedroom window. She's twelve too. She is the niece of a friend and co-worker. She's been Katie's friend since Kindergarten, her seat-mate on the bus. He came into her bedroom and put a sweatshirt over her face. Leaning close enough that she could feel his whiskers he told her to stay very quiet. She screamed. She screamed for all she was worth and woke up the whole house. The man ran from the house with the girl's father chasing after, but he slipped away. The police were called and they gathered some evidence... finger prints mostly. Hopefully they'll come up with something. Last Thursday a man tried to grab a girl walking home from her bus stop. Same age. Same area. He tried to get her to get in his car. She screamed and ran away and the man fled. The school sent home a letter to parents today cautioning us about the attempted abductions. Katie is rattled. Hell, I'm rattled! He's failed twice. Thankfully so, but it seems unlikely that he'll stop there. The third time could be the charm. Every year in the US, approximately 50,000 children are abducted by someone who isn’t a relative. Another 200,000 are abducted by a family member. That is reality. |
Blogville is kind of a strange place, ya know? After yesterdays entry begging for school to re-open so I could get the heck away from my kids, I was kinda surprised when bugzy is baaaccck!!  gifted me with the Great Momma Witch sig! Go figure. I had the witch thing down anyway. I guess I'll take it as a reminder to work on the great momma part. There is now a television mounted to the wall in the waiting area at work to provide some entertainment during the wait. Since we are not wired with cable, they are playing DVDs of nature programs. Now, that might sound like a safe sort of program... non offensive... good for all ages. Nature is beautiful. Right? Well, as I was walking through the waiting area today I saw my boss standing there watching the television. He turned around shaking his head. On the screen I saw the blood splattered snow as a polar bear tore into his prey. Yeah, that's fun for the whole family. So nature videos are out. I've suggested Ultimate Fighting Championships as a less violent alternative, but I think they're still on the fence. For anyone who might be interested, I put a very rough and vague synopsis of my NaNo project in my writing journal. I'm big on compartmentalizing so I'll try to keep the details out of the blog. Oh, and in other news, my friend Bonnie and the love of her life Mark are contemplating "the next step." They went to a realtor yesterday and started looking for a house to live in together. She is a little freaked out to find herself so deeply involved after only six months, but mostly she is happy, and I'm thrilled for her. She deserves some happiness. |
| Three Days! Sheesh, he's only been out of school for three days and he is driving me CRAZY! I love my son. I really do. I love him dearly, but I just can't deal with the running monologue. This, by the way, is why home schooling will NEVER be an option. I can't wait to get the hell away from him. Tomorrow I'll go back to work, and he'll be back in school. He has talked almost non-stop for 72 hours. Oh, I know I'm exaggerating. He did sleep. At least I think he did. I really can't be sure because he was awake when I went to sleep and he was awake when I woke up. I don't know what is up with him, but it is very hard to write... hell, it is hard to THINK. The constant chatter is so intrusive. Yesterday we had a lovely hike, mostly because I walked up ahead and left him to chatter at his Daddy. We found a stick for him to use as a walking stick and thought that might distract him some from his million and one questions about where we were going and why. Next thing we knew, the stick had been named Sticky and he was having a conversation with it. Sticky is hungry. Sticky only eats little sticks. Where is Sticky going to live? Sticky doesn't mind if the dog chews on him because it feels like a massage... Today it is about Halloween costumes. He wants to be a zombie. No wait! He wants to be a chicken. No wait! A Zombie Chicken. No! Super Chicken. Nope, not a chicken at all. A Magician. A Zombie Magician. <Sigh> My ability to focus hasn't been too good, but I've a rough idea of where I'm going with my NaNo novel. I made a list of four questions I still need to answer, and once I get those answers, the novel should practically write itself. Let's hope. and now the dog is whining to go out. I give up! |
| Today I loaded up the kids and husband and we went up to Big Pocono State Park for some hiking. It was a little warm for my liking, and a lot hazy, but we had a good time. Trails wind around the rim of the mountain giving gorgeous views in all directions. This was the view to the east. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** As I said, it was very hazy, but somewhere over there is New Jersey. I have a great fondness for interesting trees, and this one kinda jumped out at me. My son thought it looked like an elephant. I'm not sure I see an elephant, but it does have a distinctive trunk.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Since I spent the whole day playing, I need to do my laundry now. I'll try to visit some blogs later. |
Last night I was flipping channels and came across the movie "Footloose." Now, I've seen the movie at least a hundred times. I wasn't much older than my daughter when the movie came out, and I LOVED that movie. And Kevin Bacon.  So my daughter is watching the movie with me and she starts to make mocking remarks about the movie. She thinks the movie is cheesy (DUH!), but it's a classic! Then she starts picking on Kevin Bacon. She goes so far as to say that Kevin Bacon looks like Clay Aiken! Nu-UH! "Stop picking on Kevin Bacon!" I demanded. "That's his name?" she laughed. "It even rhymes with Clay Aiken!" "Stop it!" "Bacon, Aiken... and they look exactly alike." "No! They do NOT! They look totally different." "You had a crush on him! Didn't you?" "Of course not." "Did to." "Stop it and let me watch my movie" "Hey Dad! Did you know Mommy had a crush on Kevin Bacon" "Had?" Tony asked. "You think she's over it?" This morning I set out to show Katie the error of her way. I googled up images of both Kevin and Clay and got them up side by side on the computer. There is no way they look alike. Katie sat there pointing out similarities. The BRAT! |
| I was promised that I would have interviews this week, but that didn't happen. Next week. We promise. All the same, I don't think I'll hold my breath. Even if there are decent candidates, the starting salary is low enough to discourage all but the most desperate of job seekers for whom "better than nothing" is good enough. Hey! I think that should be our agencies new slogan... BETTER THAN NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH. No? Alright maybe not. Maybe I'll just reserve that as the working title for my NaNoWriMo project. I officially signed up today, but the NaNo site is moving incredibly slow. The screen load up times were ridiculous and I really hope it gets better. It took me three tries to get come up with a unique user name, so if you are on the fence, I suggest you jump off of it and register now or you might end up being Zippy6791. Back to what I was saying about work, the hiring process is dragging out sad and slow. I've got three vacancies with full work loads that I am forced to continue juggling. It's starting to wear. I made the remark early in the week that at this point I'd settle for some warm bodies. Hell, truth be told, I'd settle for some sock puppets. When I walked into the office yesterday there were no empty cubicles. Each chair was filled with a Teddy Bear! So now, at long last, we are fully stuffed staffed. They might not be good at returning calls or completing paperwork, but they are excellent listeners. By lunch time today I was in pretty high spirits. It's Friday. It's Payday. Thanks to Columbus, it's a three day weekend." Hell, I had a spring in my step and and song in my heart - granted, it was more of a bawdy drinking song1 - but still and all, life was good. Then the phone rang... "Hi this is Ms Stinson," she said and I tried to place the name. "I'm Katie's teacher." Oh yeah! "We had a problem here at school today." Now this is a first. I've never gotten one of these calls before. "There was a note. She and another girl wrote it and it was about me. It personally attacked me." By now Ms. Stinson was sounding pretty upset. She's a very young teacher and I know my daughter has had some issues with her. "The note even used profanity."  She gave me the information, including the fact that Katie would have to serve an after school detention. I called Tony to give him a heads up and was glad to hear that he'd be home before I was. When I was off the phone, I tried to remember how old I was when I was sent to the office for writing a this-teacher-is-such-a-bitch" note. I think I was pretty close to the same age now that I think about it. Katie was in tears by the time her Daddy got home, and there were more tears after. She handed over her cell phone and iPod without being asked, and they'll be off limits for a bit. She will also be composing a letter of apology to the teacher. I think Katie was genuinely upset that she'd hurt her teacher, but she claims that the profanities did not come from her. She is a good kid. I told her that we all make mistakes and the important thing is to 1. Take responsibility for them, and 2. Learn from them. Well, I've still got a spring in my step. I'm going to try to come up with some loose plot idea for NaNo this weekend, and I'm going to plan on taking a hike and I'm going to work on salvaging some old computer files. Yesterday I found my incredibly old computer. This was my computer in college. It was Macintosh SE/30, but it still runs like a top. The hard drive has lots of letters that I wrote between the ages of about 19 and 23. I never used to journal, but I was an avid writer and poured everything out via letters. I corresponded with as many as 15 to 18 people and wrote 7 or 8 letters a week. Some of them are tagged with an "NS" and some with a "P." I'm still not sure what the P stood for, but the NS was "never sent." Those are the letters that say the most! I dumped a lot of the letters after I got married and my husband started to use my computer. I want to try to salvage what remains, but I think that is going to mean transcribing from the tiny black and white screen to the laptop. It'll be a project, but I hung on to these for a reason. I have a binder of letters I received also, but anything even vaguely smacking of a love letter is gone, and I'm kind of sorry for the things I did not save. Young love is such a sweet thing. Anyea blogged about the accuracy of memory. After looking through those old letters I'm convinced that memory is a thin and slippery thread. I recognized most of the major events, but there were things and even people that I just couldn't recall along with things I just remember differently. Footnotes |
| A couple days ago I stepped back from my blog. I couldn't get my thoughts to gel into words. Now I've got a backlog of unexpressed thoughts, and I can't seem to get them moving in the direction of the now open floodgates. It's pathetic! What do I blog about? I could make a list of the things that are burning in my mind at the moment. 1. The power to forget. Scientists have found a new drug that seems to interfer with memory and may be an effective way of preventing PTSD. The question is... should we use it? 2. Setting down roots. I think that after much soul searching, I finally know where I'd like to live, and what I'd like to do. The answer may not turn out to be an option, but still it is good to know these things. 3. Warm bodies. What happens when you settle for "just a warm body?" 4. If that's the worst thing that happens all week . . . . . . it won't be so bad. But how many times can you say that. How many hits can you take and just keep trudging along. 5. Habit forming. Conventional wisdom tells us that it takes a solid 21 days for a new behavior to become a habit. Any of that sound interesting to you? Turns out that I'm a habitual blogger. Who knew? I find myself squirreling away bits of trivia, anecdotes, memories, pearls of wisdom, and points of interest as fodder for my blog. Even when I step away, my mind keeps looking for and playing with material. It is just plain iritating. It takes 21 days for a new behavior to become a habit. So I guess I'm stuck with this blog thing indefinitely. I started out with the goal of writing everyday. It worked too. Even when I don't blog, I'm making entries in my garden journal or my writing journal. I think maybe I need to branch out though and get some other writing habits going, or maybe focus on reviewing. I've been standing on solid ground for sometime now. I guess I should take the next step. I'm thinking of signing up for NaNoWriMo. I've never participated. I've never written anything that lengthy, but it is 30 days. If I work at writing a novel everyday for 30 days, maybe it'll get to be a habit.  |
| I had Zachary's follow up meeting today at the school. I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and I seem to be on the same page with his teacher now. Olive branches were extended; good will and common sense won the day. The learning support teacher is a different story altogether. I've decided her thinking is slightly less flexible than Zachary's. I think Jimmy Hoffa's last pair of shoes were less concrete. Mostly, we coped by sending her out of the room to look for "things" while the Principal wrote the amendments to the Individualized Education Plan. I think I've figured out a way to get educational people to stop calling me "Mom." All I have to do is insist that if they chose not to refer to me by name, the only suitable alternative is "Dude." "So Dude, are you okay with these modifications to the spelling curriculum." "Would you like a copy of the Procedural Safe-guards, Dude?" "We'll try to send the IEP home with Zachary by the end of the week. Does that work for you Dude?" On second thought, "Babe" would also be acceptable. Well... I didn't say it was a good plan. |
| Well, I didn't get my day alone. My son decided at the last minute that he would rather spend the day with me than with his father. I was a bit frustrated, but decided to go ahead with my plans anyway. It took a little cajoling to convince Zachary that a hike up to the falls would be fun, but eventually he came around, and I think he even enjoyed himself. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** We drove out to to the Delaware Water Gap. It was a beautiful day. The falls were more crowded than I would have liked, and having Zach along kept me from hiking out beyond the crowds. It is probably a good thing because it also kept me from over doing it. We climbed down the steps to the bottom of the falls ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It seemed like a good idea until I realized we were gonna have to go back up! That was a lot of steps, but it was also a lot of fun. I'm hoping to go back again this fall when it isn't so crowded. I wasn't a lot older than my son the first time I trekked out to the falls. I was living in Maryland at the time and we were on the return portion of a road trip up through the New England states. We came down through the Water Gap and hiked the falls, but what I remember the most was being annoyed with my father. We were so close to New Jersey, and none of us had ever been there, but my father refused to drive over to the Jersey side. Now that I've lived across the river from Jersey for the better part of 15 years, it is hard to believe I ever felt the lack. When we were kids though, each new state we visited was a big deal. When we crossed into a new state, we would stretch as far forward as we could in an attempt to be "the first" one across the state line. Since I was usually stuck in the middle between my brothers. I had the advantage of leaning up between the front seats. I've been to every state on the East Coast with the exception of Florida . I've never made it to the deep south (Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana and Arkansas), Texas or Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Montana or the Dakotas, I'm not sure if I've been to Oregon or not, but I've been very close, and I've never been to Alaska. The rest I've visited, if only briefly. It has been a long time since I've ticked a state off my "never been" list. I hope to change that in the next couple of years. I think I'm one of the only people living on the East coast who hasn't been to Florida, but really I'd be more excited about Alaska or Montana. I'd like to visit some glaciers. But ask me again in January. |
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