Changing Hearts pt 1-4

Hey! Thanks for checking out my story! I know its kinda hard to read like this but I don't have an upgraded membership. sry :( If you want to read it in chapter form its up at http://www.fictionpress.com/~gypsylowe

Changing Hearts

Chapter One

          Senior year, It almost seems unreal. I, Rowan Olivia Silverton, am now a senior. In seven months I'll be a high school graduate on my way to college. It seems so strange; I'm going to be an 'adult' in only a few months, expected to become responsible and mature. Am I the only one that finds something wrong with that? I can't believe the way time flies when you expect it to drag on forever. School had never been anything I am good at or enjoy, it is just something we're forced to do. My only saving graces are my two best friends, Shawn and Sarah. If it weren't for them I probably would have gone insane a long time ago.
         Shawn, well what can I say about Shawn? He's an individual, never caring about the latest styles or trends, only what he likes. That's probably why he is so against the popular ideas of the masses and can't stand the 'cool' kids at school. Shawn is a very straightforward person, if he has a problem with you he'll tell you to your face. He does have a softer, gentler side that he only reserves for those he cares about. It's a side that Sarah and I are accustomed to, but not many other people even know it exists. We've been friends forever, since birth. My mother and his mother met in high school and were best friend until about two years ago when they had a huge blow up and now they never speak, so until then we practically grew up together.
         Sarah and I met through Shawn about four years ago. Sarah is Shawn's cousin and when I was blackmailed into going along to one of his, very boring, family reunions I met Sarah. She and I hit it off from the very beginning. We spent the entire time making fun of the people at their reunion and checking out the guys at other reunions and parties in the park. When the reunion was over we wrote and talked on the phone on almost a daily basis, it wasn't until about a year later, when her dad got transferred and she moved here, that we got to hang out. We've grown close in the four years we've been friends and now she is like a sister to me.

"Hello? Earth to Rowan, anybody home?" Sarah's teasing voice called me out of my thoughts and back into our first period English class.

"Sorry I was just thinking how weird it is we're seniors" I whispered as I looked around to see what page in the text I was supposed to be on.

"I know I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I never thought I‘d make it to this day, it always seemed so far away" Sarah whispered

"What do you guys wanna do after school?" I heard Shawn's voice from behind me when class is finally dismissed

"I don't know" I tell them as we head to our lockers

"How bout we go to The Mud House or one of our houses?" Sarah suggests referring to the local coffeehouse/bookstore that we frequent.

"Don't care, but not my house" I just don't want to go home and have my mom hovering over us, anything is better than that.

"Fine, let's go to my house. My mom's going to be out real late so we can basically do what we want." Shawn informs us. Stephanie, his mom, is the type that likes to party extremely often and hard. She's rarely at home and if she is most the time she's sleeping off whatever it is she took or she is entertaining her one night stands.

"Yeah ok" Sarah and I agree "We have to get to class though, so we'll see you in theater 7th period" Sarah told Shawn as we shut our lockers after disposing on the books we no longer need.

"Yeah, later"

"See ya" I waved as he walked off.

"Let's go, we can't be late or Mrs. Masterson will have a conniption" Sarah tells me.

         Man I hate math and Mrs. Masterson makes it so much worse. I can't wait until 7th period, drama is my favorite class, plus both Sarah and Shawn are in that class. Sighing reluctantly I enter our math class.
         My next few classes went by fairly slowly and completely uneventful, they all ended with the same phrase, 'here's your homework, oh and have a good weekend.' I am so glad that it's the weekend, school really bites!
         I was so tired and bored by the time I entered Drama I just wanted to sleep. Collapsing on the one of the couches I looked around but no one I can stand is here yet. Closing my eyes I listened to the noise and voices of people all around me. Mr. Elm, our drama teacher, is my all time favorite teacher, he's the one who encouraged me to continue in my acting and is certain I'll end up on the stage one day. Mr. Elm took all the desks out and replaced them with old couches, love seats, and recliners, while taking a ton of flack from the rest of the faculty. Mr. Elm says students work better if they're are comfortable in their surroundings and boy it's comfortable in here. I stir slightly when I feel someone sit down next to me.

"Rowan girly, wakie wakie" I hear someone whisper to me. I know who it is the second he speaks, Shawn.

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep" I tell him. Jeez what is it with people? Can't you let a girl get some sleep during school?

"But if you go to sleep you'll miss your favorite class and miss hanging out with me some more" He tells me as he puts his arm around me, pulling me to him. I lay my head on his chest, using him as my pillow.
         This is normal for us, we've always been close. When my dad walked out on my mom and I last year, so he could be with his newly divorced high school sweetheart, Shawn was the only person I let see how much I was really hurting. The situation brought us even closer, as friends.

"I might miss class but I don't know about you" I tease

"Gee just kill my ego why don't you?" He taunts back, placing his chin on my head. Closing my eyes again, I find myself inhaling his scent and snuggling closer to him. I like this; it feels right that we're together and I don't want him to let go of me. Whoa!! wait a minute, what is going on? We're friends and because we're friends I shouldn't feel this way! I know, it just because I'm boyfriend-less and I want to have someone to hold me and care about me, and of course someone to make out with.

"Oh my gosh, guys guess what?" Sarah excitedly asks soon as she suddenly appears

"What?" I say thankful for the interruption. I pull away from Shawn and try to focus on Sarah, but I can't understand what just happened

"I said guess! I'll give you a hint, I won't be able to hang tonight" She's going to make us work for this.

"You're running away with the circus to be a sideshow freak?" Shawn's joke is met with a nasty look of death from Sarah.

"You witnessed the murder of some big mob boss and now you're being relocated by the FBI" I hate guessing games

"No! Jeez, you guys are totally not trying! I have a date," Sarah said smiling

"Whoa, I never would have gotten that one" Shawn tells her pretending to be stunned

"Shut up Shawn!" I tell him then direct my attention to Sarah "Who's this week's lucky guy?"

"Brandon Forlo, Can you believe it? I've liked him for, what, about the past 2 years and apparently he's had a thing for me too! We're going out to dinner and then to a rave."

"Wow, That's really great Sarah!" I really am happy for her, but I can feel the green eyed monster of jealously creeping up in me.

         Unlike Sarah I haven't had many boyfriends, two to be exact. I'm not what I would call pretty. My layered, shoulder length dark brown hair is so dark it looks black and it has small, faded streaks of green that I dyed a couple of months back. I’m about 5’8 and I work my ass off, well sometimes, to keep my butt in a size 4. I don’t have a closet full of Gucci or even Tommy, most of my clothes are vintage. I love to shop at the old vintage shops and even consignment stores.

         Sarah's slender figure and chin length black hair are the things she prides most about herself. She’s not one of the popular crowd but she’s not a freak/outsider like Shawn and I. She kinda floats between the groups, she fits in anywhere. She has a different boyfriend every month or so, even my two ex- boyfriends broke up with me so that they could make their move for Sarah. She never dated them or went after anyone that I liked because our friendship is more important than some guy is. I do still fear that every guy I date will be looking more at Sarah than at me.

"Alright class, let's get acting!" Mr. Elm's enthusiastic voice broke into my thoughts "I'm handing out the script for this year's production of 'The Taming of the Shrew,' auditions will be held next Friday."

"Mr. Elm? Are we going to do the play like the movie with Julia Stiles or do we have to actually read the play?" The question comes from one of the peppy cheerleaders with a skirt that's way to short and a head that's way to empty.

"Stacy," Mr. Elm addresses her "This is classical drama not reenact your favorite play deconstructed and put together to entertain a narrow- minded youth as a movie." Ouch, I actually liked 10 Things I Hate About You, but there's no way I'll admit that now. "You actually have to read the play because that's what we are doing. You have the rest of the class to study your part of choice or if you prefer you are dismissed, but if you're caught in the halls before the bell rings, I did not release you!" he tells the class

"Let's go" Shawn tells me as he hands me my bag

"You coming?" I ask Sarah as we stand up

"No thanks, Brandon's going to meet me after class" she states smiling widely

"Ok, call me tomorrow! I want details."

"Later Sar" Shawn says to her as we exit the classroom, checking for teachers at every corner as we head for Shawn's car "well I guess were on our own tonight"

"Yep" I respond, but I'm a little leery to be alone with him right now after all the weird, fuzzy feelings that went through me earlier. I assure myself that it was nothing, just some teenage hormonal imbalance and nothing more. Then why can't I stop thinking about it?

* * * * * * * * * * * *


Chapter Two

"Four and a half weeks, five max" I argue, hoisting myself up onto the kitchen counter while Shawn digs through the cabinets for some sort of junk food.

"They'll only last two weeks" Shawn tells me while getting a coke out of the fridge

"Fine would you like to partake in our usual bet" I ask referring to a fifty dollar bet that we make each time Sarah gets a new boyfriend, regarding how long the relationship will last.

"Yeah, because I'm going to win" He states flatly

"No you won't! Sarah really likes him which means she'll hang on to him a little longer than the rest" I know I'm going to win! I have to; I've lost the past two bets we've made. Besides Sarah talks nonstop about Brandon, It's an easy win.

"Whatever, come on" He instructs grabbing my arm, pulling me off the counter and out of the kitchen, toward his room

"So what are we going to do tonight?" I'm bored already as we head up the stairs

"I don't know" He tells me, then suddenly he stops dead in his tracks, causing me to slam into the back of him and lose my balance "Wait, I got it!"

"Jeez, Don't stop dead like that" I tell him when I regain my balance, thankful that I didn’t fall down the stairs "So what's your idea?"

"Let's have a movie night like we used to have. It'll be fun" He told me as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, directing me toward their living room where they kept their movie collection "So what'd do you want to watch?" he asked as he opened the drawers containing the movies for me to look over "Pick something out and I'll go get the popcorn started"

         We used to have movie night every Friday; it was like a tradition. We watched movies and ate junk food all night, usually not going to sleep 'til four or five in the morning. Only somehow we gradually began to disband it. It wasn't something we meant to end; we just sort of grew out of it or something. I did miss it, it was something fun and constant for along time. Maybe this would be the beginning of reuniting that tradition, to bad Sarah wasn‘t here.

"So what'd you decide?" He asked when he returned, I could hear the popcorn popping in the kitchen

"Um...Let's see" I say looking over the videos "This one" I say picking up Legally Blonde "and that one" I indicate pointing to Sliding Doors, knowing that he'll freak that I decided to choose two of the movies that he considered classic chick flicks.

"What? That's what you want to watch? I don't think so, those are chick flicks!" He tells me as he grabs the movie out of my hands

"You said I could pick" I counter, grabbing the movie back

"I didn't mean chick flicks! I meant pick movies we both can enjoy. Now give me the movie!" he says reaching for it again, quickly I place it behind my back and out of his reach. I tried to fend him off but instead I find myself trapped between him and the wall, with now where to go.

"You lose, now hand it over" He tells me quietly. He's so close to me now, as he spoke I could feel his breath on my cheek. I find my eyes glued to his, there's something different in his eyes. I begin to wonder what it would feel like to be kissed by him, incredible is the word that comes to mind. Suddenly my rational side kicks in and I push way, handing over the movie.

"Fine, you pick two and I'll pick two." I tell him sounding a little irritated "You know my two so go pick yours and I'll get the popcorn. I have to call my mom and tell her I'm staying here tonight, so I'll meet you in your room" I tell him and begin walking to the kitchen. I'm trying to sound like usual, I hope that I'm successful.

"Fine, jeez bite my head off" Shawn says to my back as I walk off. Good I don't think that he noticed anything. I'm entirely freaked out, What's going on with my emotions? Whatever it is I know it can't be good!

         I got the popcorn and called my mom. She didn't mind me staying over, but she used it as a bribe to get me to clean my room tomorrow. My mom went through a phase where she wouldn't let me stay over at Shawn's because of the whole boy/girl issue, but she knows that we're just friends. It is really not that much of a problem to her, at least that's what I think. Sometimes she says I'm spending too much time with him, but she knows that he is important to me and she'd never forbid me to hang around with him. The only real problem that she has with Shawn is his mother. I'm not quite sure what happened that night but Shawn's mother and mine called the friendship quits. I think it had to do with the drugs and alcohol that Stephanie had begun to live off of.

"I picked Snatch and Spiderman" Shawn tells me while putting one of the movies in his DVD player as I enter the living room, popcorn in hand.

“Ugh” I say flopping onto the couch

“What?” he asks rolling his eyes

“Do we have to watch Spiderman? I don’t like Toby Maguire.”

“Blaspheme” he saying trying to looked shocked “Don’t like Spiderman, what kind of person are you?”

“Fine, fine, fine I’ll watch it” I pout

"Oh I know you will” he teases

“So what are we watching first?" Five bucks says it's Snatch

"The Snatch" he tells me. Well, there was a big surprise, it's movie is one of his all time favorites.

"Ok" I say. I silently wonder what Sarah is doing. I wonder how her date is going? I hope that they last longer than her usual boyfriends do because she really likes Brandon.

"Yeah movie night!" Shawn says after starting the movie and turning of the lights. He captures the empty spot on the couch next to me; his eyes fixed on the TV screen. We've seen this movie so many times we can recite the lines word for word, but somehow every time we watch it, it's like he's never seen it before. Before long my eyelids become heavy and to keep them open requires more energy than I have. I close my eyes listening to the sounds of the movie as I drift of into sleep

         Hours later I awake to the sound to cabinets being repeatedly opened and closed with extreme force. The clock one the DVD player reads 6:45, it's way to early for me to be up! The banging stops momentarily and I begin to drift back to sleep, only to be once again jolted awake by the banging.

"What the hell" I ask out loud "Shawn?" When my eyes finally adjust to the sunlight coming in through the windows I realize that Shawn is nowhere to be found. Getting out of my comfortable spot on the couch I straighten my hair and head for the kitchen, where I can hear the sound of the banging and muffled voices is coming from. As I draw closer to the kitchen the voices grow louder, I can tell it's Shawn and his mom but I can't make out what they are fighting over. After standing near the door debating whether or not to enter I decide just to go in. As I reach for the door handle, the door is flung open and I come face to face with Shawn's mom.

"What the hell is she doing here??” His mother yells to Shawn while staring bitterly at me "Get out of my way!" I can smell the obvious scent of alcohol on her breath.

         She shoves past me; searching for something she begins ripping the living room apart. Shawn tries to grab her and pull her away from the candleholders that she has begun to throw, but only meets defeat. Screaming at him she pushes him back and takes aim, he ducks and the candleholder shatters above his head. Shawn moves back over to where I am and we stare in shock as she tears apart the couch, bookcase, and entertainment center.

"You better tell me where is boy! I know I had one more bottle!" She tells Shawn while standing in the middle of their once semi-clean living room that now looked like a tornado had ripped through it. "I knew an accident like you would have repercussions one day" she yells at Shawn who stares in shock at his mother before replying.

"Mom I told you I didn't touch it! You must have drank in while you were out screwing every guy on the block, you damn whore!" Shawn hollers at her, obviously furious. The second the words are out of his mouth I freeze, I've never seen him this angry at his mom or even throw a comment like that at her.

"Why you little." She says picking up a lamp, trying to throw it in our direction unsuccessfully. She collapses onto the couch still mumbling obscenities and trying to toss things in our direction. Shawn somehow makes it through the jumble of stuff, cleans off the couch and helps his mother lie down, where she passes out.

"Come on" he tells me picking up my bag and handing it to me, while ushering me to the door "She just needs to sleep it off."

"How 'bout we got to my house?" I suggest once we're outside. Waiting for a reply I get into the passenger seat of his car, he doesn't answer but heads in the direction of my house. The 10-minute drive has never seemed so long. I can tell he's deep in thought and don't want to interrupt or cause more problems, but I have so many questions about what just happened. I thought she was clean? How long has this been going on? It was going to be a long day.

* * * * * * * * * * * *


Chapter Three

         Shoving the heavy wooden front door open, we step into my house. Hearing the pans clanking in the kitchen I figure my mom is once again trying to cook.

"Mom?" I yell into the kitchen "I'm home and Shawn's here"

"Hey guys" my mother greets us as she walks out of the kitchen "How‘s life in the teen world?" she asks looking at Shawn

"Uh." Shawn stares uncomfortably at me hoping I'll save him.
"We're fine mom" I answer before Shawn has a chance to reply

"Honey, you two don't look fine! You seem upset, what's wrong" Concern is showing in her face now

"Mom we're fine, really!" I tell her, my eyes pleading with her to drop it "we'll be in my room"

"Alright" She says taking the hint "but if you kids need anything I'll be in the living room" only the look in her eyes tells me that this is not over, we will talk about it later.

“Oh and Rowan your grandmother wants to know if you are coming this summer or if you have other plans. She seems to think that because you graduate this year you are longer going to partake in any family events because you will no longer be forced into them by yours truly.”

         Mom grew up in a small suburb of Scotland's capital, Edinburgh, called Cramond. We go there every summer to visit my grandma, aunt, uncle, and my cousins. My mom came to America when she was fifteen with her dad when my grandparents divorced. Both her brother and her sister stayed in Scotland with my grandma. Mom and grandma had major issues when mom was young, so when my grandparents divorced grandma thought it would be best for mom if she moved to America with grandpa. They get along really well now and my mom says that she's grateful to my grandma because she knew that her life would have been much harder in Scotland and of course she wouldn't have me.

“Yea I’m going” I say just eager to move Shawn away from her before she pumps him for information on why he’s upset.

         Heading down the hall Shawn's disheartened figure follows in continuing silence. I feel horrible, What am I supposed to say? I thought that she was sober and clean, but obviously I was wrong. I wonder if Sarah knew anything was up? Opening the door and heading down the stairs to my room, aka the fixed up basement, I flip on the Christmas lights that light my room. Dropping down into my round oversized chair I wait for the right words to enter my head or for him to speak.

"Sorry about the scene back there" Shawn says after a few moments of silence

"You don't have to apologize for anything. When did it get this bad? I thought that she was clean"

"She was for awhile, but on the anniversary of the accident a couple months back she fell off the wagon and decided to stay in the mud." He states bitterly

"You could have told me"

"I know, its just embarrassing. Besides the time never seemed right, what was I going to say? 'Wow you got an A on you paper, oh yeah my mom's drinking again, I hate writing papers.' Its not something I like to think about, do you think that we could just forget it for today?"

"Yeah, forgotten for now anyway, but you have to promise that you'll tell me if anything else happens"

"Promise"

"Alright" Getting up from my spot "I'm gonna take a shower, then we'll call Sarah and see how her date went" grabbing my clothes from the closet "Help yourself to anything and don't eat anything my mom makes!" I tease, my mom is a horrible cook.

         As I turn on the water and step into the shower I can't help but feel bad for Shawn, he's been through so much. About eight and a half years ago while Shawn's parents were driving back from a dinner meeting their car was sideswiped by a semi truck. The driver of the truck had apparently fell asleep at the wheel, missing a stop sign and slamming directly into the Brensworths' car. Mr. Brensworth was killed on impact and Mrs. Brensworth spent five weeks in the hospital, where she developed a strong addiction to pain killers. Her additions grew and everyone tried to help get her straight, but the only thing that seemed to come from that was her additions switched, from pain killers to alcohol.
         After the third time of failed rehab, Shawn's grandparents threatened to take Shawn from her and not let her have any contact and that seemed to do the trick. She went into rehab the fourth time and was successful. She had been clean since then, well she had one slip up that resulted in the ending of her friendship with my mom. Stepping out of the shower I begin drying off and getting dressed, gabbing for my undergarments I realize that they are not there. Shit! Wrapping my towel around me I carefully open the door leading to my room and making sure I am alone. When I am sure the coast is clear I quietly creep in to my room and over to my dresser. As I grab my underwear I hear the door open and before I have time to bolt to the bathroom Shawn appears in front of me.

"Uh…" I say as Shawn stops dead in his tracks, my face is growing more red with every second "I forgot something" Staring at him I realize that I am not the only one completely embarrassed, his face is also turning red.
         Suddenly his eyes leave mine and flicker down my barely clad body. My nerves and pulse go into overdrive, What the hell is that? Did he just do what I think he did?

"I'm…uh gonna get um dressed" I manage to get out as I rush back to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. My mind is reeling, what exactly was that about? We're friends, that's all, he's almost like a brother to me and that is completely wrong. I mean yes, he does have a really great body and he is cute, but Agghh, I so need to get a boyfriend! I'm starting to fantasize about my best friend. What is wrong with me?

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey"

"Hey" I greet Sarah, who's already claimed a table for us at The Mud House

"So what's up? Where's Shawn? I thought he was coming too"

"He's outside talking to Brian. I have to tell you something before he comes in, but I want no jokes or anything" Looking around to make sure that Shawn hasn't come in yet "I think I'm going insane!"

"What are you talking about?" Sarah asks, obviously both amused and confused

"Well." I begin filling her in on everything weird that has happened when I was with Shawn, even the stuff about his mom. I feel like an idiot the entire time, I’m worried about what went on with his mom but I’m totally freaked out about my lust moments. I am totally losing it! "See, I'm going out of my mind" I say as I finish the story in record time

"Ok, Let me see if I got this right. You have a thing for Shawn? My cousin Shawn? Your other best friend, Shawn?"

"I don't know that's why I told you! What do you think?" I hope she says that it's nothing!

"Rowan! How can you like him?"

"That was not the answer I wanted. I don't think that it's a serious crush, I think It's because of not having a boyfriend for awhile or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it"

"Sticking to what story?" Shawn says appearing at the table

"Nothing" I say quickly, a little to quickly

"Um...Ok. I'm gonna go down to Bocklin's Records you guys wanna come?"

"Yeah we're in! I need to spend some money, plus I want the new Less Than Jake CD." Grabbing our bags we head for the door.

         The two block walk is a lot less uncomfortable than the ride from my house to The Mud House. After the whole bathroom situation things between us were really uncomfortable, but somehow we both just went on like it never happened. I even somehow managed to convince myself that it didn't and at times I even believe it didn't happen. Who am I kidding? Its always in the back of my mind. I feel like one of the ropes to the bridge that holds our friendship together has been cut. It feels like I am the one holding the scissors that cut that rope. Deep in thought I don't pay attention to where I'm going until its to late, I run right smack into someone. My bag and its contents along with the person's books hit the pavement.

"Christ! Sorry, you ok?" the male voice asks me as I begin cleaning up my things

"Yeah, I probably should pay attention to where I am going" taking the stuff from Sarah that she had picked up and placing the last of my possessions into my bag. Standing up I come face to face with the male barricade I hit. Oh my, take me I'm yours! He is gorgeous!

"I guess we were both zoned out" he smiles at me, I think my knees are going to give out. He has an amazing smile, with incredible lips and cute little dimples

"Hey," Sarah's voice reminds me she is still there, along with Shawn "We'll be inside" she grabs Shawn's arm practically dragging him into the record store

"Ok" Ripping my gaze from the stranger to turn to her, only to see the door shut behind her

"I'm Deegan" He tells me holding his hand out, I have a new favorite name!

"Hi" I manage to get out as his large hand engulfs mine

"And you are?"

"Oh right" Duh...jeez my name, my mind blanks...oh yeah "Rowan" He is so hot! He stands about two inches above me, his chocolate brown eyes remind me of hot chocolate on a cold snowy day; Warm and inviting. His sandy brown hair is spiked and has that oh so cute 'I just got out of bed' look. His body? Holy cow, someone totally works out!

"Well, Rowan, what had you so lost in though?" I have no idea, he is so damn attractive! Realizing I still have a hold of his hand I reluctantly let go

"Nothing really, I was just trying to think of something to do tonight" Maybe he could help me with that "What about you? What had you so absorbed?"

"You know, I can't remember now. Do you live around here?" I'm about to answer when an annoying ring bursts out from the cell phone in his hand "Sorry" answering it he roles his eyes at me when the person, who so rudely interrupted us, identifies themselves and gestures for me to wait a sec. As he talks on the phone, I catch a glimpse of Sarah in the window giving me the thumbs up and motioning that he is hot. Hanging up he turns back to me, apologizing once again.

"No problem, girlfriend?" Please say no

"Actually, my little sis" Thank god! But wait he didn't say he didn't have a girlfriend "She's done shopping so I have to go pick her up at the mall"

"Oh" don't act disappointed "well, it was nice running into you, literally"

"Yeah, maybe I'll se you around" He smiles, saying goodbye and begins walking toward the parking lot. Humph, deflated I head for the store to rejoin my friends

"Rowan?" I whirl around in record time to see Deegan headed back toward me

"Yeah?" You love me, I know

"Would it be possible to get your number?" Hell yes!

"Totally" rattling of my number he writes in on the palm of his hand, that is to cute! I hope that he doesn't have to go to the bathroom anytime soon because I don't want that number to be washed off his hand. Damn, why don't I carry a permanent marker? We say goodbye and he tells me he'll give me a call, yes!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter Four

         I'm so bored right now. Sarah, Shawn and I spent the rest of the day downtown and at the skate park. It was fun, but I can only take so much of the shoppers and being downtown with the socialites. The skate park is always interesting; we hung out there for about two hours. Sarah and I made complete fools of ourselves while some of the guys tried to teach us how to skateboard on the vert ramp, keyword being tried. I can skate fairly well, but on the vert ramp it's a completely different story! I'm going to have some serious bruises on my wrists and arms from trying to stop myself from slamming face first into the bottom of the ramp.
         As soon as the car stops in front of my house all three of us clamber out of Shawn's car and head inside. Dropping my stuff by the front door I head into the kitchen to make us something for dinner, while Sarah goes to call Brandon and have him pick her up here. She then goes to the bathroom to clean up for her second date with Brandon tonight, she'll be in there awhile. Shawn and I talk and joke while I try to make something resembling food; things seem to have gone back to normal. I'm glad, I didn't want to ruin our friendship over some stupid hormone imbalance. Besides, I have a possible boyfriend on the horizon. Wait? Wasn't Deegan supposed to call me soon?

"I have to check the messages" I tell Shawn handing him the plate with the burnt fries and egg roles "Deegan was gonna call"

"Hey, Its not like he was gonna run home, call you and then wait by the phone for you to call him back" Shawn yells me behind me from the kitchen

"Whatever, there's no harm in checking" Stepping closer to the machine I hope that there is a message waiting, "Damn" There are no messages, checking the Caller ID I see that no one has called, except my Aunt, all day. Solemnly, I return to where Shawn and my mom are trying to decide if the food I've cremated is edible.

"So did he run home and call you?"

"Who?" my mom asks

"No one, just a guy I met today. No, Shawn, you're right he has a life," but I hope not a girlfriend

"Row? Did you even look at the directions on how to cook this stuff?" He asks while throwing away the black, crispy heaps of what used to be food.

"Honey, go get some money from the junk food fund and go order a pizza or Chinese"

"Pizza sounds good to me" Shawn says "I'll call in the order if you get the money"

"Thanks, you're such the gentleman," I say

"I'm going to be in the studio tonight so please keep the noise down and where is Sarah? I thought that you both were staying over"

"Sarah has a date, she's getting ready"

"Oh ok, well I'll be in the studio. Remember, quiet please" I follow behind my mom and get the pizza money from the jar, say goodnight and head downstairs. Shawn is digging through the coupon drawer while on the phone ordering our dinner. Flopping onto the couch I turn on the TV, just as Sarah comes downstairs looking totally great. Her hair is down, her short olive colored skirt looks great with my black knee high boots and black tank top she chose.

"So?" She asks spinning around and then carefully sitting down

"You have definitely achieved goddess status," I tell her honestly

"My goal! I hope Brandon likes it, this is as close to dressed up as I get," She lowers her voice "Anyways, have I missed any developing sparks?"

"No!” I snap “I have realized that it was a momentary lapse in judgment because of my changing teenage hormones and I don't want to talk about it anymore," at least I hope it was

"Whatever! What time is it? Brandon is supposed to be here anytime," She says after glancing at the clock above the entertainment center

"Are you gonna have him drop you off back here or your house?"

"I think back here if its still ok, I'm not in the mood to fight with my dad about my curfew. Besides dad already thinks I'm spending the night here"

"Start the timer, the delivery guy has thirty minutes to get here starting now or it's free," Shawn tells us as he hangs up the phone and finds himself a spot on the couch. He always says that in hopes that the food will be free, but it never is. The sound of the phone ringing takes me away from my friends' conversation about pizza delivery.

"Hello"

"May I speak with Rowan please?" the male voice on the other line asks

"Speaking," I quickly figure out whom the voice belongs to

"Hey, It's Deegan. You ran into me at the record store" Like I could forget that

“Hey I wasn’t the only one spaced out, I’d say we collided” I joke

“Well that sounds fair” he says laughing, man he sounds so cute! “Just wasn’t sure if you’d remember me” is he insane?

"Yeah, I remember. So what's up?" Snapping my fingers at Sarah I point to the phone, mouthing his name. She immediately shushes Shawn, who is still rambling on about delivery, so that she can listen into my phone conversation.

"Not much really, just hanging. I was calling to see if maybe you wanted to catch a movie tomorrow afternoon?" I jump of the couch, doing my victory dance.

"Yeah, sure, that'd be great" I reply trying not to sound overexcited, which I was.

"Cool, How bout I pick you up around 1:00?"

"Yeah that sounds good, let me give you my address," I rattle it off to him, he better not be writing it on his hand, "So, I'll see you tomorrow" Duh

"Yeah, bye"

"Bye" hanging up the phone I turn to Shawn and Sarah "I have a date tomorrow"

"That's great! Now we can double date sometime!" Uh oh, pretty soon she's going to be planning our double weddings. She really has it bad for Brandon; I'm going to win the bet.

"Rowan" Shawn's voice interrupts Sarah's excited squealing "You don't know anything about this guy, you met him on the street"

"Isn't that the point of a date? To get to know each other better?" Sarah points out

"Yeah, but still I just think that you should have thought about it a little more before agreeing so fast" Jeez, he makes it sound like I'm easy.

“Why? I like him I know that much”

“Yea, but looks can be deceiving and you just met him today and he’s already calling? I say that boy is desperate”

“Gee thanks there Shawn, so only really desperate guys go for me?“ I’m a little miffed

“Or he’s really excited and really likes her” Sarah adds trying to make me feel better.

“I didn’t mean that your ugly or that only desperate guys like you. I meant if he’s so good looking, as you say, then he could probably have any girl and he knows it so he would’ve made you wait and wonder. But if he called ASAP then there could be something wrong in his personality…” The doorbell rings, interrupting his thoughts.

"Never mind, I’m digging myself in a hole here. I'll get the door," Shawn tells us as he stands up

"What's his problem?" I ask, he's gone on plenty of dates with girls he met on the street or in the mall of all places.

"Row," Sarah looks at me "He probably picked up on those vibes that you were putting out when you thought that you were crushing on him. Now you have a date with another guy, so he's probably confused or," She pauses, I don't think want to know what she's going to say "Jealous" Nope, I didn't want to know that

"Hey" Brandon's deep voice interrupts us, these interruptions at crucial times are beginning to irritate me. Not that I wasn't grateful for the change in subject. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah" she tells him, slipping her arm around his and heading toward the door. As she begins to shut it she turns to me and says "We're not through on that subject yet Rowan"

"Whatever" flipping through the stations I try to find something interesting to watch, however it's not going well. I finally settle on watching 'Justice Files' on the Discovery channel. An hour and a half later I find myself once again flipping through the channels, "There is nothing on"

"What's on HBO?" Shawn asks shifting in his position next to me

"Um," I flip to the channel "Whatever It Takes" No, if that's the movie I think it is, I don't want to watch it

"That girl is hot" he tells me referring to the dark haired female character "Let's watch"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because"

"That's not a reason"

"It's a stupid story line"

"So? You liked 'While you were Sleeping' and I thought that was a pretty stupid story line. Besides I've never seen it, what is the story line" I can tell he's irritated

"Fine, It's about a guy and a girl that are best friends that end up falling for each other. See it's stupid," Standing up I turn off the TV and walk over to the stereo, trying to find a CD I'm in the mood for. This is not a subject I want to discuss with him after those freakish feelings I had. I just want to put it all behind me and have things go back to how they were.

"What's stupid about that?" He asks coming up behind me

"I don't know, it's just not realistic"

"Hey, Row?" He says softly "can I ask you something?"

"What?" I turn around to face him, uh oh something's wrong

"Why are you going out with Deegan?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know, he just. doesn't seem to be your type" He says not looking at me

"My type?" What is he talking about? "I don't even know what my type is, would you care to inform me since you seem to know?" I'm a little irritated now, why does he have to rain on my date?

"Well...I don't know" he says still looking anywhere but at me "he just seems like the kind of guy you normally stay away from"

"I've only dated two guys and neither lasted very long. Chris and Grey were both completely different, so how can you get a type out of that?" I challenge

"It's just that Deegan seems to be a rich, jock type, prep that we're always mocking and I don't understand why you want to go out with him"

"Shawn, I think that I should be able to get to know him before I decide that he's not someone I want to be around ok? What do you care? You didn't act like this with Grey or Chris"

"Things were different then" He said, finally looking at me.

         Our eyes lock and I realize that there is something hidden behind them. What is going on with us? Could he possibly have been feeling the same way I was? Was Sarah right when she said that he was jealous that I was going out with Deegan? Absorbed in my thoughts I don't realize that Shawn leaning closer to me until his lips were on mine. Stunned, I don't know what to do. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer as I just stand there completely shocked. Finally I realize what is happening and slowly beginning to kiss him back. His lips are soft and caring as he slowly deepens the kiss. Moving my hands to his neck and hair, I relax into his arms. My senses are in overload, it feels good to be kissed by him.

"Ugh, jerk!" The door slamming and Sarah's angry voice causes us to jerk apart, Shawn steps back from me as if I am on fire. What happens now? Sarah who is so absorbed in her huff that she stomps right by us and into the kitchen, mumbling something about needing ice cream.

"Um…Sorry" Shawn tells me the effect of our kiss still evident on his face

"That was." I pause trying to find the right word. I hope Sarah stays in the kitchen, but I probably should go see what's wrong.

"A mistake, sorry I don't know why I did that!" He says looking directly into my eyes "Trust me it won't happen again"

"That ass hole" Sarah's devastated voice says as she reappears in the living room with the ice cream box in one hand and a spoon in the other "Do you know where he took me tonight?" She flops onto the couch

"No" I say taking a seat next to her on the couch

"Out to the old Johnson farm where he started to grope me, jerk! When I said I didn't want to screw him he got all pissy. He told me that I really wasn't as easy as everyone said and that he wasted his time on me!" She tells me in a teary voice between bites of ice cream

"That's horrible" I respond in a equally miserable voice. I feel bad but I'm still trying to recover from what Shawn just told me. I have to fight to keep the tears I can feel forming from spilling out.

"Sorry Sarah, but I got to leave. I need to go check on my mom" Shawn says grabbing his stuff and exiting faster than I've ever seen him move.

"I thought that he didn't want to see her" Sarah says, tears still dripping from her eyes

"Well, Its been a shitty night for all of us, but hey tell me what happened after that" I desperately want to change the subject.

         After listening to her horrible excuse for a date, I finally break down and tell her what happened. I still can believe that it happened, things now are definitely out of control. Sarah tells me that if Shawn thinks it was a mistake then I should just go out with Deegan and have a good time, maybe she's right. Shawn may think that a relationship with me is a mistake, but I have a feeling Deegan doesn't. We spend the rest of the night drowning our sorrows in chocolate fudge ice cream.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Changing Hearts pt 5-8"  13+: Parts 5-8! How will Rowan deal with her changing feelings?

Thanks for reading!

-Gypsy