Tears

I am only thirteen years old, and I am in my last year of Middle School. Eigth grade.
Ever since I've entered the sixth grade, eighth grade was what i longed for, where i knew i was heading. But, so many things have happened since the sixth grade, and being an eighth grader isn't what i want anymore.
What i want are friends for life, what i want now is to be able to go back to September, and do this school year all over again.
In school, i'm part of the chorus, and our graduation song is "For Good" from Wicked. Everytime we sing it at rehearsals i feel a lump forming in my throat, and my eyes begin to burn, but i don't cry. I make sure i don't cry.
Eighth grade was, honestly, the best year of my life. Whenever my mother was getting on my nerves, i would pray for the next day to come, so i could just go and be carefree with my friends. It's going to be tough leaving behind so many things that i love, so many peole i've gotten used to being around. I know i will never find anything like this, no school will ever be the same.
Even while i'm writing this tears are dropping from my eyes, because i don't have the desicion whether or not i want to leave. I HAVE to, an i honestly don't want to. I honestly don't know what i'm going to do now, chorus, and my friends and everything about that school are what kept me going. I was known for always laughing, and that's because in my school i was truly happy, no matter how much i resented homework, or how much i hated getting up early in the morning.
I seriously don't want to move on. ANd i have no idea what i'm going to do next year. How will i live? What will i do with my time? Only time will tell, but right at this moment, time is my worst enemy.