Silence

The weather was very cold. Early came autumn brought a rain and a frost with itself. Although most of people were prepared for this cold, there were still unready. He was one of them. His hands and legs were shivering with the cold and the falling raindrops were tormenting him like a bullet. He hated such condition. But what about you, do you know what harmony do the shiver and hunger make? Perhaps, not, but you had to.

- Get up – his mother awoke his son with her yell. But he was still lying in his bed with closed eyes. Because of today’s cold, he even did not wish to rise up from his place. From time to time, he would pull his tattered coat over his head and in that case his legs would stay out. Then he would try to hide them under the coat. But it would not happen, because of the fact that he, with his folded up legs, could not stay under the small coat which tears let the cold come inside.
- Hurry up – his mother yelled again, but he did not make any sound either this time. He understood that he would have to get up after some minutes, but as long as he was in bed, he wanted to enjoy this last minutes’ comfort. It happened each morning: his mother would awake him and he would stay in his bed some more seconds. But he was unfortunate again as the sounds of iron pieces were vexing him and not letting sleep.
He felt the iron item fell on his body and when he put his coat aside he saw the tin near his arm.
- Hey whelp, I told you to rise up – His mother menaced him with another tin in her hand. Azer, having no way out, got up and put on his ragged coat. Throwing a tin on him was not surprising. His mother had used to awake him like this or with more heavy conditions – with beating him. And he, being afraid of beat, would rise up after her mother’s throwing tin.
Having dressed his coat he put on his beloved cap which he had found in a container for litter in the downtown of Baku and following his mother went out.
They made for the litter containers which were near the factory, in the yard of dwelling buildings. No, they were not going there to find any thrown food to eat, they would just look for stale bread put in a packet near the containers. His mother had never even tried to take something, thrown food from such places to eat, because she disliked it.
Sevda took the packet which was full of stale bread and gave the biggest and the freshest bread to Azer. Then she put the bottles she had found to the basket and both went to the nearest stall to sell them.

Soon they were in the bus going to Baku. Every day they would catch bus by 8 o’clock and go to the city to beg. Previously, Azer used to come with his brother Javid and used to get money wish washing cars. But later, as Javid was imprisoned on his robbery, his ill mother was obliged to go to Baku to do the bad work with Azer.
To tell the truth, his mother had prohibited them to rob anything, but two months ago, when she became very ill Javid stole the needed medicine from the drug-store. But in the consequence, the police caught him while Azer could disappear, taking medicine from his brother. Since that day, they had not seen Javid any more.
Azer had also tried to earn money by washing cars, but as he was very young he could not bear down with it. His mother would not reckon on her son’s begging no time, but unfortunately, they were reduced to penury and became beggars in the result of being banished from the hostel and becoming ill. Azer did this work at first while his mother did not know. It happened when she became ill after two days from Javid’s imprisonment. There was no money, no medicine at home. So, Azer got out and came back after some hours with medicine and bread in his hands. Sevda – his mother seeing this scene thought that Azer had stolen money. Therefore she asked him how he had got money. In the beginning Azer did not answer. But then when his mother said that she would not take it if he did not tell truth, he said that he had got this money with begging in the streets. Such answer, of course shocked her.
After some days they were banished from the hostel.
Generally, this family had had an unlucky fate. Azer’s parents – Nariman and Sevda were grown up in the orphanage. And when they were free the head of the orphanage, Mr.Karim, helped them to get married and settle in the hostel. Afterwards, Nariman started to work at the plant in Khirdalan, a city near Baku. But unfortunately, in 1993 there was an explosion and he died. Since that day the plant had remained dilapidated and abandoned and when Sevda and Azer were banished they came to this plant and continued their lives living there.

They got off the bus when reached the subway “Baku Soviet” and went to their usual place, sat in the corner and started… to beg money from the passers-by.

Azer was shame to do it. He hated to beg. Of course alike other children he had his own dreams for future, too. He wanted to hold a book in his hand, go to school, study at university, then a good job, money, car and home not looking like plant. But the bigger these dreams were, the harder was to reach them.
His mother was still sitting in her place with face down. Azer was approaching passers-by and begging for money and if they were not giving, he was asking on the behalf of holy people and wishing them luck. Of course, this was horrible and was the most embarrassing acts of human beings.
He had always thought that his mother liked these acts, but he would not know anytime, that his acts were provoking hatred in Sevda, making her to cry and become sicker.
It was hard to see this condition of Azer for mother. Nariman’s early death, Javid’s arrest, living in plant and poverty shook her spiritually. She also thought that her future would be different when she was in the orphanage. She wished to have a lucky life with Nariman, but life had written a different and surprising fate for her.

8-year-old Azer was still begging. His ill mother was looking at people and was wishing about to see any familiar faces, however she knew well that seeing someone familiar would be hard for her. Once she saw the head of the orphanage – Mr.Karim. He was with some men, who looked like businessmen. Seeing him Sevda became afraid of embarrassing Mr.Karim near his friends and also exposing herself in such condition. So, she had put her shawl onto her face to hide herself from his eyes.
Sevda liked Mr.Karim like a father. And because of this father-daughter love, Mr.Karim had helped her and Nariman to get married and supported their settlement in the hostel. Even with his help Nariman got a job at the plant.
Mr.Karim used to visit Sevda in the hostel in the past days. But his fate also had changed suddenly: he had a traffic accident and lost his family. Therefore he forgot Sevda and Nariman, did not visit them any more.
When Mr.Karim passed near Sevda he looked at her, as she and Azer were seemed to be familiar to him. But being irresolute he did not approach them. How could he think that the time will come and the girl he took as his daughter will beg in the streets for money!
After this meeting Sevda changed the place she begged, because of being afraid of next meeting.

It was almost afternoon and they had to buy something to eat. Azer checked his pockets, he had little money with which he could buy only one hamburger. Then he bought one and gave it to his mother. But behaved himself as if he had already eaten his one. He sat near his mother and turned his face to her. Then closed his eyes and put his head down. He felt a pain in his stomach and thought he would die. Every time he was hungry he had this feeling, he became dizzy and his stomach hurt. What was miserable was that he always had such feelings.

It started to rain again. Azer did not want to stand and beg again. He just wanted to die, right now. How could he manage such cold and hunger every day? He hated everything, even his mother whom he regarded the cause of everything.
Sevda turned her face to Azer. She loved him, just the reason why she treated with him violently, beat always was that she did not want him to have pain if she died next day…

It was getting dark. They caught a bus and returned to the plant, Khirdalan.

As it was cold inside Sevda set a fire and put some potatoes in it. Azer was outside playing with his cat which he found some days ago in the plant.
When the potatoes were ready, Sevda called Azer and both sat around the fire. Sevda gave one of the baked potatoes to Azer, who taking it started to blow as it was very hot. Then he held his head and looked at his mother whose eyes were filled with tears. Suddenly, she embraced his son and rushed to her bed still crying there.
Azer understood nothing and having eaten his potato he also went to his bed and put his cat near himself. His mother’s act seemed strange to him. He thought a little about his mother and understood how much he loved her indeed. Then he held his head and looked at her. He wanted to go and lie near her, but hesitated. Then felt tears coming from his eyes and putting his head on the pillar went to sleep.

He was awoken by the rain-drop fell on his face. He opened his eyes. It was already morning. But why had not his mother awoken him? May she have gone alone? He got up and saw his mother still laying in her place. He took on his coat and came nearer to Sevda.
“Mother, get up” – there was no answer.
“Mother, it is late, come on” – no answer again.
This time Azer shook his mother, but she did not awake. Azer pulled her back and saw the white face of Sevda. He got frightened and cried firmly- “Mother, mother” – but there was not an answer again, she had already left this world.
“MOTHER! “
… And came a silence which he would not forget anytime.

Epilogue
I will not write about the fate of Azer, because I think it is not needed. But I convince you that the future of Azer was more horrible. It is just impossible to write what became of him. Yes, he had never been happy in his life, because he was a sort of man who hated everything. But he was glad once, when saw his brother. It happened in the prison, when Azer was arrested for a big crime he had commented. And this imprisonment was not for some years, it was for the whole life…