Triangles (working title)

Triangles
Act One
Scene One
10 pm on a Friday night in late September. The bar is quite busy.

The only visible characters at the beginning of the scene are Doug, Slim and Billy and a bartender. Doug, Slim and Billy are seated down stage right at a tall table surrounded by bar stools. The scene starts in the middle of Doug recalling a humorous story.

Doug: All of a sudden I hear this pounding on my door. I look up and notice it's like 2 damn 30 in the morning, so I laid back down and tried to sleep. Then like maybe a minute later the pounding started again. I got up and went to the door and found nobody was there. Then I was freakin' out.
So, I woke up my roommate. He gets up, walks to the window, turns to me and says, "it's only Slim and Billy. Go back to sleep."

Billy: Those damn neighbor kids.

Doug: I got your neighbor kids, jackass.

All: laugh

Doug: Who else was with you?

Billy: What do you mean? It wasn't us.

Doug: (sarcastic) Okay!

Slim: Who was it? Oh Johnson was with us, and uh...

Billy: Was it Bear?

Slim: Yeah, because remember he got really drunk.

Billy: Didn't we all get drunk.

Slim: I wasn't really that drunk.

Billy: But you were still drunk?

Slim: Not really. I had like six beers and some shots, but I felt fine. (Billy and Doug nod)

Doug: So where is Bear?

Slim: I called him and left a message.

Billy: Yeah I talked to him yesterday and he said he wanted to do some drinkin' this weekend.

Doug: But, he is whipped! What a wuss.

Slim: Yup!

Billy: Just becaue he's got a girlfriend he can't come out with us? (to Slim) Call him again.

Slim: No.

Billy: Don't you have your phone?

Slim: So?

Billy: So, you should call.

Slim: I'm using my minutes to call him again.

Three 20 something women enter the bar (Ashley, Ruth, Megan). They make their way to the bar.

Billy: What time is it?

Slim: I dunno like 10:15.

Billy: Don't you get free calls after 9 pm? Plus it's the weekend.

Slim: Whatever.

Doug: Slow down boys. Look what the cat drug in.

Billy: I'm not on drugs.

Doug: No. Look! (points to girls)

Billy: Oh.

Slim: Stop starin', dumbass.

Billy: Huh?

Doug: (slaps Billy on the back of the head) Welcome back.

Billy: Why'd you do that?

Doug: because you're a dillhole.

Billy: Hey, speaking of dillholes, who is buying the next round?

Slim: You.

Billy: I got the last one.

Slim: Well, I'm drivin'.

Doug: I'm not even done with this one yet.

Billy: Maybe we should get you a nipple for that.

Doug: What?

Billy: Johnson's dad always says if you drink to slow you should probably (slur probably) put a nipple on it. (pause) I said nipple.

Doug: I just thought it was your ma's titty.

Slim: Or his sister's.

Billy: Hey!

Doug: You know she's hot, right?

Billy: No way.

Doug: Good answer.

Slim: But she is.

Doug: No question.

Slim: When can I get a picture of her?

Billy: Uh...never.

Doug: (finishes drink) Okay, another for you dillweed.

Billy: Huh?

Doug: One more drink?

Billy: Of course.

Doug: I'll be right back. (he exits toward bathroom)


Ashley: What is everybody gettin'?

Megan: I'll have a beer.

Ashley: Ruth?

Ruth: Huh. Oh, nothing.

Ashley attempts to get the bartenders attention.

Megan: Ruth, how's school goin'?

Ruth: Good

Megan: How many midterms do you have this semester?

Ruth: I not sure. I think two or three.

Megan: cool. I've got three.

Ruth: Great.

Ashley returns to the group with two drinks. Once cup of whiskey and coke for her and one bottle of for Megan.

Ashley: Ladies. Meg.

Megan: You got me a light beer?

Ashley: (looks at bottle) Really...(sarcastic) Oh I guess I did.

Megan: Snob

Ashley: Diva (to Ruth)Are you feeling alright?

Ruth: Yeah, I'm fine.

Megan: (to Ashley) She just needs to find herself a man.

Ruth: Would you please be quiet?

Megan: I'm sorry.

Ruth: That's okay. Can we fine a place to sit?

Ashley: (looks around) Every table looks full.

Megan: We could sit with those guys.

Ashley: Are you serious?

Megan: What? It's a place to sit, isn't it?

Ashley: Be patient. The right opportunity will present itself.

Megan: Sorry. (pause) Are your sorority sisters gonna be here tonight?

Ashley: No, they went on some retreat.

Megan: Oh, what's it called?

Ashley: I dunno, they went to Lake Michwami or something.

Megan: No your sorority. Is Alpha Beta...

Ruth: Duh. (the girls look at her) Alpha Beta Duh. (mimics a dumb blonde)

Ashley: (glares at Ruth) It's Alpha Beta Delta.

Megan: So, why didn't you go?

Ashley: I have a project to work on. (notices a peculiar look from Ruth) I do. I just haven't met him yet.

All: (laugh)

Ashley: (to Ruth) Don't have too much fun now.

Ruth: What? (peculiar looks from Ashley and Megan) Oh, i don't have to check out the cute frat boys to have fun.

Ashley: Right, but you don't have to be so uppity.

Ruth: I like to think that I act like a respectable lady.

Megan/Ashley: Uppity!

Megan: Boys don't want some snouty bitch.

Ruth: What do you know?

Megan: I know how to get a man.

Ruth: Be easy?

Megan: Sorry, I was just saying that I know what guys like.

Ruth: And I was saying they like girls who are easy.

Megan: Guys respect me. I don't put out unless I want to.

Ruth: And how often do you "want" to?

Megan: Nevermind.

(Doug enters and approaches the bar)

Ashley: Ladies, be chill out. It's the weekend we're all going to have fun tonight.

Ruth: Yippee

Ashley: why don't you just leave?

Ruth: Because I'm driving your asses home.

Ashley: So?

Ruth: How are you going to get back?

Ashley: It's friday and the bar is full of guys would love to take me home.

Meanwhile back at the table with Slim and Billy.

Billy: What's taking so long?

Slim: He just left.

Billy: But I want my drink now.

Slim: You're a goon. We might "accidently" leave you behind.

Billy: No you won't.

Slim: No but we might.

Billy: Well, until then...

Slim: What?

Billy: Yeah?

Slim: Until then...

Billy Exactly.

Slim: You never make any fucking sense.

Billy: I know.

Slim: Who invited you? (Slim and Billy laugh) What is Doug doin' up there?

Billy: He's trying to score with those hot ladies.

Slim: He's not even talkin' to 'em.

Billy: But wants to.

Slim: Shut up, will ya?

(Doug bumps into Ruth)

Doug: Sorry. (Ruth nods. Doug then bumps into her again.) My bad.

Ruth: Are you okay?

Doug: Yeah.

Ruth: Great then stop bumping into me.

Doug: I apologize. My name is Doug.

Ruth: Excuse me.

Doug: Doug, it's my name.

Ruth: Wonderful, my name is Lisa.

Doug: Cool. (the drinks arrive) Bye.

Ruth: Sure.