Perfection

its hilarious to think I believed
we couldve survived
when our whole world was so fixed and contrived
how ridiculous my persistant faith was
I remember watching you
daring to believe that your careful lies were true
remember how I could never sleep
oh my god I remember those fucking nights
lying awake trembling, being the subject of lingering fights
and to the outside world what a perfect family
four great kids with parents who were loving husband and wife
how absolutely entertaining it wouldve been, if one had grasped our life
and who would have guessed the secret that the youngest daughter hid
an immaculate little girl cutting into her skin
blood running down her arms, and tears off her chin
and still its so funny to me how long we hid ourselves
our fragile nakedness veiled for years behind a decorated camouflage
just so we could live up to what we thought we were, some painted and adorned mirage
it didn’t even matter all the pain and tormoil we were going through
as long as we had our stupid façade, we could keep on pretending and be fine
it would be too bold and much too dangerous to ever step out of the world’s straight line
god forgive us if we were labeled flawed, if any imperfections were ever proved
its too scary to be ourselves, admit to failure, that maybe we don’t have pefect things
such a lust to leave this world, I think that maybe now I realize why the caged bird sings
what a relief it was when this absurd and silly fantasy crumbled around me
we thought that we could go on like this forever, that we could keep up the charade
but exhaustion got the best of us, and it was surprisingly painful when our mask decayed
Such a terrible and funny twist of fate
when the family that has it all
realizes the higher you are, the harder you fall.