Alone

Here's my Lady Agatha's Many Moods contest entry.

"What is the motive behind my contest? Why to find the best of the best, of course."...Lady Agatha


"Oh oh."...Thumbsucker


Here's my Lady Agatha's Many Moods contest entry anyways.










Alone

(On A Rock)


Franklin was a lonely man. It didn't help that he lived all by himself on an island. You see Franklin was a lighthouse keeper and his island was a very tiny island stuck waaaaaaaaaay out in the Atlantic.


( Ta Da! As you can tell from that intro Lady Agatha, this ain't no crappy ACTION/ADVENTURE story. Cruddy yes, but crappy no)


Once a year a supply ship would visit Franklin's tiny island. Franklin would eagerly scan the horizon months in advance of the ship's anticipated arrival.


(That was the ACTION/ADVENTURE bit. I hope you liked it coz the rest of this story is pretty boring)


Finally the ship would make an appearance and for a few short hours Franklin would laugh and hop around and pester the crew about news from England and abroad.

"Was Victoria still Queen?"

"Were the American states still fighting one another?"

"Has anyone invented television yet?"


(This ACTION/ADVENTURE story would be so much better with suspenseful music)


The loneliness after the supply ship left was the worst loneliness of the entire year. He could easily go for months on end without seeing so much as a ship's sail on the horizon. Noone but the supply ship ever stopped at his tiny desolate island.

Franklin would console himself after the supply ship left by gorging on rations meant to last him the entire year. One year he pigged out so much he ran out of food and was forced to eat seaweed and shoe leather for sixty three days.


(I'll bet I'm your only seaweed eating entry)


The years all alone took their toll on poor Franklin. To relieve the boredom he declared himself king of the tiny island. He decreed every Friday would be Casual Fridays, so he never wore a tie on Fridays and Tuesdays he decreed were Royal Tuesdays, and as he was the king, he allowed himself to sleep in on Tuesdays.


(Have I still got your attention Benny "Quickfire" Strong?)


Moving the story along then...

One dark and stormy night Franklin was tucked under his blankets, sound asleep in his little lighthouse bed, when he was suddenly awakened by a knock on his front door.

"Who can that be?" He wondered as he made his way downstairs.


(I hope you can understand what he's saying despite his strong Swedish accent)


The knocking became louder and more forceful which caused our lonely lighthouse keeper to consider if he should open the door or not. As there were no weapons in his lighthouse, Franklin reached for a frying pan and called out for the late night visitor to identify themself.

The knocking suddenly stopped.

"Thank goodness this is a Thursday." Franklin thought to himself as he tightly clutched his frying pan. Every Thursday was a Keep My Lighthouse Door Securely Locked Thursday so he was very thankful about that.


(I picture Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Franklin in the movie version of this)


As Franklin pondered what to do next, he suddenly remembered this was a Wednesday and NOT a Thursday! Oh great! Wednesdays were Get Plenty Of Sleep Wednesdays so he blew out the whale oil lamp and headed back to bed.


(Is this a suspenseful build up or what?)


The next morning Franklin awoke to find his lighthouse door wide open and all his pants missing. Oh great! It looked like Sundays weren't going to be the only pantless days from now on.

With frying pan in hand, pantless Franklin searched the tiny, treeless island but found nothing out of the ordinary. That night Franklin locked himself into his light house and settled in for a very restless sleep.

After midnight, Franklin awoke with a start by yet another knock at his door. He once again grabbed his trusty frying pan and made his way downstairs as the knocking turned into loud pounding.

"Who's there?" Franklin demanded. Once again the knocking stopped and the light house was cloaked in eerie silence. Pantless Franklin then decreed as of that moment, no more late night knocking would be allowed on the tiny remote island and everyone must answer his "Who's there?" questions.


(Hang on a sec. I need to take a pee break)

(That's better)


The following night pantless Franklin vowed he'd get to the bottom of the late night visitor mystery. After some careful pondering, Franklin decided to wait outside and catch the door knocker in the act. As there was virtually nowhere to hide on the barren island, Franklin waited in the dark on the far side of the round lighthouse.

Sometime after midnight Franklin heard knocking coming from the front door of his light house. With frying pan in hand he ran around from the back. He arrived at the front door to find noone there...but the knocking continued...however it was now coming from inside!

Summoning all his courage, Franklin flung open the door and came face to face with...





















(Wait for it)






















YOU!!!! Pantless Franklin came face to face with Lady Agatha!

"Hey! Aren't you Lady Agatha?" Franklin keenly observed.


(We'll not bother with HOW he knew it was you Lady Agatha as I'd like to keep the story moving along. No time for such minor details)


"Yes it's me...Lady Agatha...or Wenston...or Benny "Quickfire" Strong...or whoever the Hell I feel like being. I'm a lady of many moods remember?" You said sharply.

"Oh...I see your no nonsense attitude towards halfwits is true then?" Franklin nervously said, as he felt the cold stare of your beady little eyes fixed on his pantlessness.

"Yes it was me knocking and yes it was I who took all your pants." You said answering Franklin's questions before he could ask them.

"But why?" Replied Franklin.

"I wanted Thumbsucker to put more ACTION/ADVENTURE into this story and when it became obvious he didn't know what he was doing I took it upon myself to put a little Oooomph into this lame plot. Oh, and as for the pants? Don't you remember #5 on my List of Standards?...Don’t be shy about showing me the goods, darling. I’m an adult, I think I’ll be able to handle a little skin." You giggled as Franklin blushed even more.

"So what happens now?" Franklin asked.

"Well darling...I've finished trying to breathe life into this pathetic excuse for an entry. As far as I'm concerned you can stay on this remote tiny island of your's and play your mindless little pant games all you want. I'm outa here." And with that the mighty Lady Agatha left to pick apart another humble contest entry and dash another nameless little author's dreams under her pointed stiletto.


So that's it. You can all go home now folks. Show's over.





Remember it was MaryLou who asked me to enter.

MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou

Got that?

Blame her, not me.

MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou MaryLou