Consumer religion, it’s the happening style,
come on down, try out God for a while.
Baptisms, buy one get one free.
Rosaries, now just a dollar three.
Crosses half off this weekend only,
your last chance - own something holy.
Pray now, don't you dare hesitate,
drive through confessionals, now open late.
For that special someone, we've John on a platter,
giving it away! Could we be any madder?
You say you want designer names?
We've Gideon, Koran, Tanakh, and King James.
Still can't afford it, too many bad sins?
Absolutely no one refused, everyone wins.
We've spiritual planning, tithes, and layaway
start putting away now for that judgment day.
Closing soon, liquidating, everything must go,
save now, repent, and revamp your soul
Buy Christ today, for you never can tell
you may pay full price while you burn in. . .
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