Waiting

I'm frustrated,
angry,
more at myself than at him.
Why did I tell him?
Why didn't I just leave things
the way they were?
We were friends,
but now I've ruined that.
He knows how I feel about him.
How did he react?
I keep asking this.
I still don't know.
Too scared to ask him,
yet I don't want to let him go.
He acts the same,
like he doesn't know.
Why?
Does he feel the same about me,
or is he trying to let me down easy?
Neither is what he would do,
yet they are the only explanations.
Before I told him,
there were two options in my mind.
He would ignore me completely,
or we would be together,
forever.
But he didn't,
he just left me here,
waiting.