Ode Of Love And Loss

Ode Of Love And Loss

After a fine honeymoon I came home with my bride, but at the threshold she faltered.

“I have a secret,” she cried.

“I share my heart with another, but he poses no threat. Inside you’ll meet Orca, my dear, cherished pet.”

Surprised as I was she’d not told me before, I kissed her sweet lips and swung open the door.

His eyes piercing, green orbs, in the foyer he sat. Dressed in black coat and tie, a huge whale of a cat.

He saw me and stood with bared teeth and plumed tail. Then he hackled and hissed, and I let go a wail.

“Orca, be nice,” my wife purred to the brute, as she stroked under his chin while I stood shaking and mute.

I reached out to touch her, but froze under his glare as he stretched out his claws and swiped at the air.

My bride took no notice, and my heart filled with woe, for my wife’s cherished pet was a formidable foe.

Swallowing my fear, I planned my attack. I’d not be run out by such a beast of a cat!

“Darling,” I said, “I loathe my insurgence, but I regret to inform you . . .well, see . . . cats—I’m allergic.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said with a frown. “I’ll call the hotel . . . book the best room in town.”

A month later our marriage ended right quick. Divorced on the grounds I was a cat-hating prick.

My heart was broken, my life bleak and shady, but in the support group I met a nice lady.

She’s a beautiful woman. She’s my sun through the fog. And when it comes to pets, we both prefer dogs.


Written for the Writer’s cramp 01/23/05. Prompt: Your honeymoon was great, but when you get home, there’s a problem. Your new husband’s (or wife’s) dog (or cat) will not allow you to get near your husband/wife. Describe what happens. The dog/cat is snarling, barking, hissing, snapping, scratching, etc. and you’re SCARED of it.


Write a poem or story about the problem and your solution, and have fun!