Angel

I’m lying in the hotel bed that Aurora and I are sharing. Lynn and Mary are sleeping soundly in the bed next to ours. Aurora was still out. Where could she be? I wondered this as I drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The sounds of feet padding across the plaid carpet of our hotel room. Aurora. She was back, finally I would be able to sleep comfortably cuddled against her. I would be safe and warm and wanted. All the things humans strive to feel their whole lives. That’s what would happen. Slowly and carefully so as not to wake me Aurora pulls the covers loose in order to climb into bed herself. Suddenly a cold foot makes contact with my warm leg. I shiver, and relinquish in the fact that she was there and I could rest easy. I lay there wondering if she’s asleep yet. If I can risk a glance at the most beautiful human I had ever seen.

“Is your arm ok, I’m not squishing you am I?” Came a whisper that I recognized all too well.

“No, I’m fine. You?” I heard from a deeper whisper.

Who was that in the room with my Aurora? I stayed perfectly still. So still that anyone that was paying attention would know that I wasn’t asleep. I get a peek at the other side of the bed. Aurora and some guy. Who was he? Oh yeah, he was her friend that was sleeping on the floor. I had forgotten about him. Wait, what’s he doing on the bed? What was he doing lying so close to the angel that separated us? What was his name anyway? Oh now I remember its Erich.

I quickly turn away, hoping they didn’t notice that I’m awake. A billion and one things are running though my head. What should I do? Should I turn around and pretend that I just woke up? Or maybe I should mumble things in my “sleep”. I need to do something. I can’t just lay there while Erich is snuggled with my love.

As I’m thinking I toss and turn. All the while keeping up with the "asleep" game I’m playing with them. I suddenly get very cold. The bed seems like a hard unfeeling operating table. I needed more of the blankets, but how to get more without Aurora figuring out that I’m awake. She knows me better than anyone else in the world, so completing this task will be like performing brain surgery.

As I’m contemplating how to steal some of the warm life saving blanket a shiver runs down my spine as a slender hand wraps around my body and covers me up. The hand drapes the blanket over me and rests for a second by my stomach. I shiver again and the hand tightens. Then I feel heat moving toward me. My angel is coming to caress me and keep me safe.

Her leg wraps around mine and I’m waiting for the familiar smell of her hair as she brings her head closer to rest on mine. I’m waiting for the feel of her hot breath as it rhythmically tantalizes my skin. The last thing that I’m waiting for is her perfect soft body pressed into mine. The feel of being complete because one person fits so well that is what I’m waiting for.

It doesn’t come. All I get is her leg thrown loosely across mine and her arm enfolding around my side and down my stomach. Even though it’s not what I wanted I accept and feel better. She’s mine and nothing will happen. I have nothing to worry about. I never have and never will, but still there’s something about the way we’re laying. It’s not normal. I don’t feel the love radiating off of Aurora as it is every other night that we’re cuddled in each other’s arms. I throw that weird thought out of my mind. She was there and that’s all that mattered.

As I drift into an uneasy sleep I begin to feel a little chill. I think its Aurora distractedly tickling my back. Then the chill goes bone deep and I begin to feel cold and not just a little chill now and then. I force myself to wake up. As I reenter conscience I realize that my baby has moved from her spot up against me. If we were the only ones in the bed I would’ve just thought that she had rolled over, but we weren’t. Why had she moved away from me? What wasn’t I getting?

There’s heavy breathing, and a sharp intake of breath. What the fuck was going on?

I should see what’s happening. I should turn around right now.

I hear kissing, and the bed starts to creak. What the fuck is going on?

When is my body going to start listening to my head that I should turn around and stop this? I could stop Erich from doing anything with the angel of my dreams. He has no right to be able to touch her. He shouldn’t even be in the bed. My head is racing though all of these things, but my body is frozen.

I can’t be hearing this. This isn’t happening. I won’t believe it, that’s why I won’t turn around.

The breathing is getting shorter and faster. I feel like this is just something I should have expected. I’m not that attractive, so why should this angel of mine want to be with me? Suddenly everything stops. I don’t hear anything. Not a squeak, not even a breath. The other side of the bed was perfectly still. Had they caught on to my I’m asleep game?

I wait for a few minutes, hoping that I had just imagined it. I’m waiting for Aurora to take her normal spot right beside me. Some uncomfortable rustling of the sheets is all I get. No Aurora, no angel to protect.

Sleep finally invades my thoughts.

Beep…..
Beep…...
Beep……

Why is the alarm going off at five in the morning? Why? I want to sleep. I hate alarm clocks. I had the worst night. Aurora and I need to talk today. We’re over after that night.

Wait, its eight thirty? When did it get so late? Last thing I remember was that Erich and Aurora had finished with their little game.

God, had she actually thought I wouldn’t have known? Had she actually thought I slept that deeply? I know that I don’t. I guess we didn’t know as much about each other as we thought we did.

I was so cold last night, but now I’m pleasantly warm. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can’t move. Wait, I can’t move, why can’t I move? Something has a grip on my stomach like a pit bull does on a piece of meat.

Those slender pale hands that I know too well. Those hands that would creep over my body whenever I wanted them to. That explains why I can’t get up, but why aren’t my legs moving. I go to move them and I feel the weight of two athletic legs lying on my thick legs. She had gotten her feet around me too? When did all this happen?

I finally get my bearings and take a peek at Erich. He’s not there. Where could he be? I want to yell at that arrogant little asshole.

He’s not there. He’s on the floor, and Aurora is laying just the way I like it. I love it when we cuddle. Wait, what’s happening. Last night she was with Erich and now she’s lying on top of me so she has a back up if he doesn’t like it.

Why am I thinking that? I’ve never thought that before.

“Aurora.”

“mhmm.”

”Aurora I need you to wake up. I need to talk to you about last night.”

“What about last night? You had terrible dreams. I slept as close to you as possible. I thought maybe I could stop the dreams. Where they all that bad?"

“Yes, they were. I can’t imagine a worse night, but I don’t think I was dreaming it.”

“What do you mean?” Aurora tried to cover it all up. It wasn’t working, I know her too well.

“You know what I mean. You and Erich slept together last night. I know that’s what I heard. How could you. How could you do that and then cuddle right up against me?” I tried not to cry, I did, and it just didn’t work.

Automatically Aurora’s lips met mine. They were totally unexpected. She didn’t deny it; she didn’t protest that I was being dumb. She just kissed me. She comforted me. We stayed lying on the bed wrapped up in each other for an eternity it seemed. When I finally came up for air Aurora looked at me and I noticed that she had been crying too.

“What?” My concern for her instantly out weighed the fact that we were talking about breaking up.

“I can’t believe you would think that.” I was stunned. How could she be lying to me? Wait, that look in her eyes. It’s not the same as when she lies. It’s breaking my heart all over again to see the look of torture on her face.

“Why wouldn’t that be what I thought? I heard you guys come in last night, and then I heard him in the bed. And that’s just the beginning of it.” My throat felt like it had a softball in it.

“Sweetie, you heard wrong. We did come into the room at the same time, but I came in here and he slept on the floor.” I looked into her eyes; those brown eyes that couldn’t lie to me. The eyes that I had spent hours on end memorizing.

“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” I wanted to believe her, but I needed a little more proof.

“Well…”

“So something did happen.” I said a little louder than I should have. I pried myself out of her grips and sat up in the bed.

“Yes…Something happened.” She hung her head like a dog does when it’s being punished.

“Well, what happened? I want to know everything.” I fixed my gaze on her sad pitiful, but still beautiful face.

“We came in and I showed him where the extra blanket and pillow where.”

“OK, nothings happening yet.”

“Then I pulled out the covers and went to crawl into bed. He sat down on the bed to change into his pajamas. We were talking when I noticed that you were freezing. You had started to shiver and shake. I covered you up and then I laid down to help you warm up faster when he grabbed me and pulled me away from you.” Her face had gotten very red and I could barely hear her.

“He pulled me off of the bed, and I started to protest when he covered my mouth.” I had nothing to say. I started to get very angry at Erich’s balls to push my girlfriend around.

“Then after I calmed down he removed his hand from my mouth. He was looking at me weird. I asked him what he thought he was doing. Then he kissed me.” That last statement had been the quietest and sounded like a child was telling an adult they had been sexually assaulted. I couldn’t see straight. Aurora looked so afraid. I realized now why she was afraid. She didn’t want to lose me. I quickly dragged her body on top of mine and pulled her close.

“What happened after that my angel?” She relaxed; she knew that everything would be ok because I had used her pet name.

“I was in shock. Then I started to beat his shoulders. He broke the kiss off, but wouldn’t let go of me. I started to protest again and fight him. He had this maniac look in his eyes. He suddenly threw me onto the bed.” If I had thought that she was afraid before she told me he had kissed her, then it was the fright of a child. This was like she was in a horror movie and couldn’t get out. If possible I pulled her closer. I kissed the top of her head, as thoughts of how Erich should die ran though my head.

“He told me that our relationship. You know yours and mine. He told me it wasn’t right, and that he had to teach me the real way a relationship should be, you know with a guy and a girl.” Had he rapped her? What had happened? Why hadn’t any of this woke me up? I couldn’t stop the thoughts rushing into my brain.

“So….What happened then my love?” Tears had reformed in my green eyes; I couldn’t believe that someone could be so cold and unfeeling.

“I was on the bed and he rushed on top of me. I couldn’t stop him. He started to grab me anywhere he could reach. His hands and mouth were all over my breasts and my stomach. He even tried to get under my boxers. The bed started to rock and creak. I had hoped that you would’ve woken up. You didn’t though; I think it was because of your dreams.” She seemed so tired, like she hadn’t slept at all last night.

“Go on, please I need to know.”

“It’s almost over. I don’t know how, but I got him off of me. I hit him, and something clicked. He stopped and he started to cry. Well, at least as much as a guy can cry. He said he was sorry and that he’ll never do anything like that again. Then he crawled over to the floor and collected his blankets. I stood there in shock. I must have looked pissed or something because he said that he’d find another place to room for the rest of the trip.” She collapsed against my chest and cried. I started to wonder if she had slept last night.

“You were still cold and shivering, so I crawled back into bed and snuggled against you. I figured it would be the last time I would get to since I would be telling you all of this in the morning. I don’t think I slept, but I understand if you hate me now.” I was shocked for the millionth time this morning. She thought I hated her. How could she think that?

“I don’t hate you. I hate him, right now I want to get up and beat the living shit out of him.” Her grip on me tightened.

“Please don’t leave me.” Those words hit me. She felt the same way about me that I did about her. I was her safety net and I made her feel loved.

“No one else is up yet.” I said in my softest voice.

“huh?” She looked at me, and I just pulled her to me. I kissed her and made it clear that I needed her. She started to take control and deepen the kiss. Our tongues met and battled to see who would win. In the end I won out. Taking my chance I rolled her over so she was on the bottom. We stayed like that just exploring each other’s bodies for too short of a time.

She was tired.

“Do you want to finish that cuddling session that we were having earlier? I can tell you need some sleep.” I personally didn’t want to stop what we were doing, but she needed sleep and we could always start up again later. It’s not like anyone in the room doesn’t know that we’d been dating for two years.

She agreed that she was tired and rolled over to her side. I laid behind her and pulled her close. The last thing I remember as I drifted into a heavy sleep is stroking Aurora’s soft feather like brown hair.