IrrrrrrrRRReeeeenAR

She ran down the corridor of the German-built Trans Mongolian carriage to collect her thrown shoe.

Her Russian eyes were wide open as she replaced it on her foot, she had enough English words to deal with these infidels.

We watched as the slightly built girl strutted back to our cabin ‘NooooooooOOOO’ she said in heavily accented English supported by her wagging scornful finger.

Well travelled men we had never seen such passion, the fire in her eyes, the demonstrative tone, her excitement at interacting with foreigners.

My son said ‘tell her to go away’, he was encamped on the top bunk of our cabin, unseen until now. She spotted him “Im Irrina, who are you?”. No response from above, “He is Craig, hello Irena”.

She was infuriated, here she was, attentive in English lessons, the best in her class, but these people, their Russian was atrocious. “NooooooooOOOOO, not Irena, IrrrrrrrRRReeeeenAR”, her eyes rolled and she scoffed.

We all laughed which just inflamed her more, another ‘tell her to go away’ was heard from the rafters. Encouraged she climbed the thin steel stairs, the inquisitive eyes sought out the source of the voice. A “there you are” flashed across her face as she caught a glimpse of her victim.

David, soaking up every moment of Craig’s top bunk horror pulled at his covers ‘DON’T, Im just wearing my boxers’, an 11yo boy moving into that pre-pubescent body consciousness that drives nervous hiding of private parts was scared. The 7yo Russian hunter, excited with the chase, and intrigued by the reactions. David’s natural cruelty tugged harder at the covers, IrrrrrrrRRReeeeenAR laughed and her eyes expanded to bright blue circles under her short fringe, she hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

As the sheets exposed him he didn’t have enough hands to cover himself, one minute he was locked in GameBoy battle, now he was battling for his pride. He searched frantically for his clothes as the blonde-haired monster stared and mockingly laughed at him.

T-shirt on, shorts hastily applied inside-out, he broke her feeble tackle and leapt to the floor, grabbing his trusty sword he attacked David but was quickly disarmed.

As her legs nonchalantly swang over the edge she was intrigued, another victim of her attention, another fleeing hapless male, she couldn’t wait to grow up. As her mother asked what she was doing she explained about the funny little foreign boy and what had happened.

Her mother’s apologies were met with ‘no problem, it was very funny’. As David tucked his camera back into his backpack he said ‘I cant wait to tell this story at your 18th birthday’. Craig cringed as IrrrrrrrRRReeeeenAR’s poked out tongue was flashed behind her mum’s back. “Next time” floated menacingly across her eyelashes.