Journey - Descend in the void...

Journey...

It's a beautiful evening, ruined by the presence of humans who fail to see it's beauty. It's dark, but I love the darkness. The stars shine, but the clouds move at great speed. Surely there will be a thunderstorm tonight and I really love it. The lightnings, flashing in heaven, granting me the sight on the beautiful clouds only for a moment. I look forward to standing in front of my window and watching it. Rather would I have been outside, far away from humans who always hide for this magnificent wrath of nature. But I can't...

I walk home. I intended to spend the night reading a fantasy novel with a good glass of wine. I love doing that. I admire the authors who make such beautiful worlds, which sadly only exists in mine and their imagination. But it's often better then the real world. All of a sudden, I remember I drank my last bottle of wine two days ago. I decide to get a new one while I still can, the shops close in twenty minutes so I need to hurry. Besides, I need to get inside before the thunderstorm starts.

Rapidly, I reach the supermarket and get two bottles. It’s always good to have one in stock. Gusts of wind strike the earth with terrible force. I need to hurry to get home, but when I leave the supermarket I know I won't make it home in time. I don't want to run, it's embarrassing.

"Do you fear the rain?" I hear someone saying.

I look backwards. I see a handsome man, dressed in black pants which look expensive and are made of thin fabric. His shoes are black too, and they shine in the moonlight. A white blouse covers his body, and above all this is a long black coat, made of leather. His hairs are black and long. A small golden chain decorates his neck, upon it a symbol which I don't understand. I am surprised by his question.

"You fear the rain? You seem to run away from it." he repeats.

"Well, I don't actually fear it, but I hate getting soaked all over."

"There's no need to get soaked in the rain. Follow me, there's a place where there's shelter."

Shall I follow this strange man? I look at him, for a second my eyes meet his. I will follow him. His hand gently takes my elbow.

"Come, let me take you there”, he says. “The rain can start at any second".

I follow him. He takes me to a part of the village where I don't often come, but I recognize the surroundings. There's an old house, uninhabited for many years. I always wondered when it would be demolished. But the house has a lean-to under which we find shelter. Just in time, the rain starts slowly but within a minute it transforms into the heaviest rain I have ever experienced.

"You love this sight, don't you?" he asks.

"Surely I do. But how do you know that?" He looks at me for a while.

"I don't know... I just 'sensed' it. Let us enjoy the sight then."

He looks up to the heaven, obviously fascinated by the lightning. The first thunder frightens me, as it came unexpected.

"I love the thunder", he says. It means you are safe. The lightning can be dangerous, as all beautiful things embed a danger. When I was young, I used to walk around in a forest, a forest on mountains and hills. I just sat there, watching it. Until the howling of wolves struck me. Being so fascinated by the sight, I didn't see them coming. I managed to run away".

"Wolves? You can't be serious, there are no wolves in nature left anymore." What strange man is this?

"Where I was, there were... But enough about that. Do you see the clouds? The layer between moon and stars and the earth. They block the light, but without clouds there is no rain."

“That's true...” He has a little peculiar tone in his voice, but I can't tell what it is.

"I see you bought wine. I also love wine. One of those little gifts of nature. No matter how much science advances, mankind will not be able to make wine as delicious as nature will do for us. People shy away from nature, as you can see. There's nobody around. They are all inside." These last words are spoken with contempt.

"Yes, but we aren't. I intended to watch this thunderstorm".

"From inside a building, I suppose? There's a building behind you. Why don't you enter it? You can watch it all from inside, if that is what pleases you."

"No this is fine", I say. I slowly get nervous. This man is so weird.

We go on watching for some minutes. Then it's all over. A pity, but somehow I want to get away from this man, though he treated me kindly.

"Shall I take thee home?" he asks. I'd rather not, but I cannot refuse his polite offer.

"Yes please", I reply. He takes my arm again.

"Now it's you who must guide me", he says. "Where can I take thee?"

He releases my arm. I walk home, him following me. I don't feel like speaking. I need time to be alone, to think.

We reach home. He grabs my shoulders. He looks at me.

"Thank you for making the thunderstorm so beautiful." He nods. "Thank you", he adds with a smile.

"Well, eh, thank you for taking me home", I manage to say.

"It was my pleasure, he replies. Perhaps, our ways may cross again." Without saying goodbye, he turns around and leaves, leaving me perplexed.

I get inside, enter my lazy chair and open my bottle of wine. I fill my glass and drink it at once, refilling it immediately. Who was this man? No matter how often I repeat that to myself, I really can't find out. We didn't even share names. What was so special about him? Well, everything, I think. The way he speaks? His gestures? The way he admired the thunderstorm? Or his looks? I try to imagine him. He certainly was a handsome man, dressed old-fashioned but stylish. I intend to ask other people about him, but nobody could have seen him as everybody was inside, hiding for the rain.

Weeks pass. More and more, I grow certain that our meeting was the last time we'd see each other. I cannot look for him.

I find a strange letter in my mailbox. It contains no stamp, so it must have been delivered by somebody personally. I open it. It's written in beautiful, graceful letters.

"I have not forgotten you, though you may think different. Many things have strayed my attention from you. You will understand later. Come next Sunday night to the forest. I will wait for you till dawn."

I read the letter three times. I know it's his, who else can it be? I can't wait to go, but something stops me. In the forest, I'm helpless. No place to run to, no way to escape. I suddenly feel that that's exactly what I long for. It's five days till Sunday, they will pass slowly...

With every day which passes, I grow more nervous. Finally, Sunday comes.

When I enter the forest, I see him waiting for me, sitting on a tree stump.

"There you are. How nice of you to come here. But I expected you." he says.

"Hi", I reply, unable to say anything else. His sight strikes me. For months, I could only dream of him. Now when I see him, all my dreams fade away... He fills my mind to every edge.

"Do you like this place?" he asks.

I look around. I surely do. As far as I can see, there are trees, huge trees, some of them having survived for centuries. He gives me the time to look.

"Yes, this place is beautiful", I say.


"You know what makes is this beautiful?" he asks. "It's you. You would make every place in the world beautiful, no matter how dreadful it may be without your presence." It came so unexpected that I blush.

"Thank you", I whisper, not knowing what to say.

He takes my hand.

"Shall we have a walk?" he asks, already guiding me into a certain direction.

"That's okay", I say.

I follow him. There is a path, but it's hardly visible. Still, he manages to follow it, and I make sure I stay close to him and not to stray from the path.

We walk for a while without speaking. He seems to be concentrating, perhaps to find his way in the darkness. We reach a clearing with a pond in it.

"It's time for some rest now, don't you think so?”, he asks me. “This is an excellent place. When the wind blows, you can hear the tiny waves in the lake. Without wind, there is total silence here. And I love both of them. This - guiding me to a small hill - is an excellent place to sit. You can lie down and still see the mighty trees and the comforting pond they surround. Can I offer thee a glass of wine? I took some with me."

Without waiting for an answer, he takes a bottle from his backpack and two goblets. He takes the cork from the bottle and fills both goblets about half.

"Can I please see the bottle", I ask. The bottle looks strange, but I can't say why. I see it's about 80 years old. "Where did you get this from", I ask amazed.

"I bought it", he smiles.

"I understand, but where?".

"An old wine maker, somewhere in the east. I kept it for a while, but I'm more than happy to share it with you." He hands me over the goblet.

"Drink it slowly", he whispers. He sits next to me and takes a sip from his wine. Curious, I try mine. It is truly delicious. A delightful feeling overwhelms me, created by the beauty of the trees and water, the wine and above all his presence.

I feel his hand between my shoulders. His fingertips touch my skin.

"Your skin is soft, like silk. May it stay as beautiful as this forever." he says.

I feel his arm around me and I work myself closer to him. I feel the warmth of his body. His lips reach my cheek, gently kissing it. His fingers tickle my neck. I feel a desire for more... He grabs my shoulders and pushes me in the grass, taking place on top of me. I see his eyes, burning desire in it.

"You are tense, I can understand why”, he says. “Let me take your anxiety away from you. Do you mind if I take off your blouse?"

I certainly don't, he can do with me whatever pleases him. I'm sure it will please me a lot more. He removes my blouse, the air of the night feels pleasant upon my naked skin. His fingers touch my back sturdily, working slowly upwards to my neck.

"Dream of something beautiful, dearest. Sink away in your dream. Forget the world around you, beautiful though it may seem. Sink away in the void", he adds in a whispering voice. He restarts at my waist, again working slowly upwards. I am so totally relaxed as I have never been before, despite the very strange situation I am in. Far away from the world with an unknown man I gave myself to. Who-ever this man is, he's mine. I will not allow him to leave again. Nowhere in this world will I find somebody like him, he's mine and he will be that forever. What spell did he cast on me? A good or evil one?

Finally, he's finished with me. "Come, wake up", I hear him saying. I'm in a state between awake and sleeping and I have no clue how long he has been busy. He helps me back up and returns my blouse. My partial nakedness has chilled me, and again I come closer to him, let his body warm me.

He reaches over for a kiss in my neck, both his arms firmly wrapped around me. I feel his nose touching me. I close my eyes and wait...

All of a sudden, he pushes me away. He looks panicked.

"What is this?", I ask.

"I'm not ready for this yet.", he hisses.

"Don't be silly. What do you mean 'not ready'?"

"I can't tell you now. We must leave. Follow me.

"But..."

"Don't ask me more! Follow me!". He grasps my arm, holding it so firmly that it hurts. "Let me loose! You're hurting me!". His grips loosens a little, but stays firm. He drags me through the trees, I barely manage to keep up with him. When we reach the end of the forest, he grabs my shoulders and faces me.

"I leave. Don't follow me. You hear me? Do not follow me!". He turns around and disappears in the night.

Slowly I walk home. A whirlwind of thoughts is in my head, and I don't manage to grab them. Why did we have to leave all of a sudden? Where did he go to? Why did he leave me behind?

And most of all, when and where will I find him again? I know my life is pointless without him but I have no way to find him back. No matter how much I think, I can't figure a way. I feel the first tears emerging. I know they won't be the last... I long so much for him to kiss them away, but this wish only increases the pain in my heart.

Days and weeks pass. I am alive, but no more then that. I fail to concentrate even on easy tasks. I can't read books anymore, I can't study, I can do nothing but long for somebody far away, who may never come back. The same questions are still in my head. Why did he run away all of a sudden? Why did he leave me behind without any way to find him back? Has he disappeared completely out of my world?

Not to feel the loneliness too much, I take long walks. I can't stand the presence of other humans around me. I want to be alone, but more then everything I want him to take away my loneliness.

"There you are. It took me a while to find you, but I did." I look behind me. It's him.

I'm struck as if by lightning. "Sorry I had to leave you behind last time. I can't tell you yet why but you will understand later. I promise it won't happen this time. Come with me. Come, leave this world behind and enter mine. A beautiful world, far away from here. I long for it, but I can't go there without you. Please, let me give you a world. Our world. A paradise, fit for a queen. Even the goddesses will worship you. Please, make my paradise complete." He sinks to one knee and grabs my hands. "Please, let me take you there..."

His eyes meet mine. Still under his spell, I'm unable to refuse, nor do I want to. Without hesitation, I nod. He gets up and hugs me. "Thank you, dearest", he whispers in my ear. "Thank you". He seems reluctant to let me loose. I have the feeling that I sink away in a void. Within the blink of an eye, I ended my life and allowed him to make a new one for me. It feels like dreaming, but I cannot wake up. I long for the day that I wake up in his arms.

The journey is long. We start by train, and we go on and on an on, day and night. He lets me sleep under his arm. A blessed feeling which I hope will never end. I wonder if he ever sleeps, all moments that I wake up he's awake. I learn the name of my lover, Slawomir. I repeat it a couple of times to myself. It sounds mysterious...

Eventually, our journey by train ends. We are in a small village, but I have no clue where in the world I am. The houses are small and old, nearly medieval but they are beautiful. The whole world feels unreal to me. The people speak in a language I don't understand, but they hardly talk to us. Slawomir seems to avoid them, and the villagers make it easy for him. They seem to fear him, but I have no clue why.

"We won't stay here for long”, he says. “It will take only a couple of days more traveling, the last days are the heaviest. We should go at once."

We commence walking. He tries to walk slowly to make sure I can keep up with him, but I get exhausted. In front of us are mountains, covered with a dense forest. No sunrays can ever have touched the soil. As far as I can see, there are trees. I wonder where we are heading to. How does it come he knows the way so well? Every direction looks the same, but he seems to know exactly how to walk. "We have to hurry. We need to find the cabin before sunset", he says. I do the best I can, but tire more with every step I take...

A frightening sound penetrates the serene emptiness of the night. The howling of wolves! "We are near the cabin. Hurry!" he says. In the meantime, he lights a torch. I see a frightened look in his face. "This should keep them at a distance". He takes my hand. My exhaustion has disappeared. New howling sounds emerge, now from two different sides. When he turns around with his torch, I see the light reflecting in a pair of wolf-eyes. He fears the flames but not us. I don't dare to think of what will happen if the wind blows out our torch. Two wolves accompany him, their teeth shining like stars in a nightly sky. Carefully, we walk on, the three wolves at a safe distance. I tremble. For the first time since our departure, I wished that I was home. "Don't worry", he whispers. "They never got me. They won't get us now". I hope so much he is right... "We are very much near the cabin", he whispers. "It has a sturdy door. I think it belonged to a lumberjack, surely he wanted to be safe of the wolves too. Once we are inside, we can rest, and then we are safe."

It takes ten minutes, in which the wolves carefully follow us and very slowly my fear grows less. Slawomir gave me a torch in case his torch would go out. We finally reach the cabin, made of sturdy wood with a heavy door. He opens the door for me and lets me in before he enters himself. He sturdily looks the door with a heavy wooden beam. The cabin is little more then four walls with a roof.

"I told you, there are wolves where I come from. They are only dangerous during the night. But here, we are safe. You should go to sleep. Don't fear the wolves. There's nothing to fear here. Nothing..." With these last words, he brings his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly. His next kiss is like fire. I prepare myself for a next kiss, but he gently pushes me away. "You should sleep. Tomorrow is another day of walking, surely you want to reach the cabin in time next time. He takes a blanket, and puts it upon me. I look at him in the light of the fire. It seems his pupils have grown a little narrower, but I'm not sure. He kisses me softly, then puts me back on the ground. "I will stay on guard, just in case of the wolves", he says. "Besides, the fire shouldn't go out. It will be a cold night. I'll keep the fire lit. Go to sleep. Sleep well", he smiles.

I'm so exhausted that I fall to sleep in a second.

When he wakes me, I feel like I have hardly slept at all, yet the sun is already shining. "Come, wake up", he says. Tonight we will sleep in a cabin again, but that's the last time. We're nearly there". Nervously I look around for wolves, but they are nowhere to be seen. "There's really no need to fear them during the day. Every traveler in this area can tell you that", he tells me.

We start walking again. I try to walk fast in fear of the wolves during the night. The forest grows less dense but the mountains are higher and the valleys deeper. Here and there, we must climb or slowly descend. Slawomir looks confident though, and I'm sure we go fast enough. At the end of our journey, there are few trees and a cabin.

"This cabin belonged to a merchant." he says. "It was the last place where travelers could get provisions for a journey through the forest, to the village where we come from. As far as I know, he sold quite some torches", he says smilingly. Despite our strange situation, I smile back at him.

"Go to sleep”, he says. “Tomorrow, we reach our paradise. Finally... I'll keep guard of the wolves. Nothing can happen to you."

"Please, sleep with me tonight. You will keep me warmer then the greatest of fires and there are no wolves around here. Even if they were, they would be unable to enter the cabin. Please, grant me the gift of your presence tonight." I beg him. His eyes radiate desire, but for some reason he controls himself.

"Sorry... Tomorrow. You can surely wait one day."

"I don't want to! I want you now! Come, share our bed! Please!"

"One day of patience. There are no dangers in our paradise, don't take any risk and let me guard you."

"Slawomir", I say. "Why! You are hiding things! You can't expect us to be together if you hide things for me. Speak!". He grabs my shoulders, like he often did before.

"It's no time for the truth yet. Later you will understand. Trust me in this. Please..." He kisses me, I cannot resist his kisses. I give up my battle for the truth and go to sleep, but an unhappy feeling enters my mind. Something is terribly wrong. Something screams for attention but I fail to see it. He screams to tell me something but when he wants to, he shies away. What's going wrong?

I sleep uneasy that night. I gave up everything I had for him, but I did it with pleasure. Is it justified? I don't doubt our love, but in true love there must be confidence. Without that base, there's nothing. He seems to sense that I fail to catch sleep.
"Don't worry”, he says. “It will be all right in time. Trust me... Tomorrow night, you won't sleep in a cabin."

"It's not the place I have to sleep in", I reply. "Please, tell me what you should, what you should have told me months ago." His expression gets uneasy.

"Be patient. You will know later... Go to sleep and don't let your heart keep you awake."

Reluctantly, I go to sleep.

Next day, it's late again when I wake up. "There's no need to travel far today but it was too much to do it yesterday", he tells me. We take our belongings and we go on again. The forest ends, and mountains emerge, with few trees. It's not easy to walk but he makes us go slowly. I wonder what's at the end, I hope I will soon know.

After some hours, he tells me to look in the distance. I see a large tower, barely visible in the distance.

"You see that tower?" he asks. "That's where our journey ends. It's about one hour away from here, but we can reach it quicker if we walk fast".

Impatient after many days of traveling, I almost run towards the tower. We reach the top of a hill. What I see almost takes away my breath.

The castle is huge. There is one big tower about in the middle, which is the tower I saw. The castle is on top of a huge mountain, which won't be easy to climb. It's a truly huge castle. Who built it there?

"Do you like your new home?” he asks. “It's the best I can give you, though you deserve more." I'm speechless. I didn't know what to expect, but this is surely what I did not expect. Is this a fairytale? I try to determine whether I am dreaming or not. I fail. He gives me to time to gaze in the distance.
"what... how..." I still can't find words to speak.

"It is yours what you see. I give it all to you. Please, let me live there with you until the end of days". He sinks to one knee, takes my hand and gently kisses it. Still speechless, I barely react. "Come, follow me. Our journey comes to an end". He takes my arm and walks on. I don't even feel the ground beneath me.

The closer we get, the more difficult it is to go on. The mountain grows steeper, at some points we almost have to climb. Until, finally, we reach the gate. He takes a large key from a chain around his neck, and hands it over to me. My hands almost shake too much to take it. I miss the keyhole a couple of times but finally I manage to open the door. A large hall emerges in front of me. I don't even dare to enter. He waits until I'm ready. I try to look in his eyes, but he turns his eyes away from me. Before I can ask him why, he tells me to get in. Slowly, I enter the huge hall.

I tremble as I slowly go further and further in it. He seems delighted by my astonishment. "I hope you consider this place worthy for us to live” he says. “I should give you heaven and earth and still beg you to accept the things which are miserable compared to only the beauty of your eyes." He smiles. Finally coming a bit more to my senses, I take him in my arms and kiss him, long and powerfully. When I prepare for a second kiss, he turns his head. "Come, let me show you more of this” he says. “I have lived here for ages, longer than you can imagine. I follow him through the hall, and we reach a corridor. We take the first turn left. It's a library, filled with books which should be in a museum. I see ancient works of literature and science, religious works, books about almost every aspect of the past. In the middle there is a large desk, and I see an atlas and works of geography. There is a large candelabra with thick, burnt out candles in it. Before I realize to the fullest extend what magnificent place this is, he takes me away. We walk through endless corridors, and rapidly I get lost. We climb some stairs to a higher level, and go through a door. We are outside. The cold wind makes me shiver. He takes off his cloak and hands it over to me. It's made of costly, thick fabric and keeps me warm despite the coldness of the night. We walk over to the walls. The sight is magnificent. As far as I can see, there are mountains, some rocky, some lower ones covered with grass. In the sky above me I see the stars and a shining full moon as the only sources of light. I still cannot believe where I am. He seems to enjoy that.

We go back inside through a different door, and go downstairs again. He shows me another room. The walls are covered with all kinds of weaponry. Tens of armors are erected on the floor, which is made of black marble. A carpet covers most of it. He walks to a weapon stand, with five beautiful daggers on it. He takes one of them.

"Take this", he says.

"What do I need a dagger for?" I ask him.

"This one is mostly a decoration, though it's made of the hardest steel a crafty blacksmith can create. Sharp as mankind can make." He lowers himself and fastens a belt around my waist. He then hands over the dagger to me. It's decorated with gems, and the hilt is inled with gold. The blade shines in the light of the torches, of which I wonder who may have lit them.

"I don't need weapons around here” I tell him. “I'm totally safe, I suppose. I have never liked weapons. Decorate me with jewelry as much as you please, but please don't let me carry a weapon."

"But this dagger is a jewel, more then a weapon", he replies. "The lady of the castle can't walk around unarmed. Please don't violate the ceremonies and take it." He takes the dagger from my hands and puts it in the sheath. Still uneasily, I accept it.

We leave the hall through a different door and go upstairs again. It seems we are in the large tower. We go up, the enormously high stairs exhaust me. Finally, we reach the top of it. He opens a large door. Behind it is a huge chamber, mostly circular, as is the shape of the tower. Inside is an enormous bed, large enough for a family to sleep in while still retaining privacy. A bed. How much I longed for that. It reminds me of how tired I am after many days of walking and traveling, not to mention the stairs.

"This is your bed” he says. “I suppose you need sleep. Tomorrow, we will see more of the castle, which is our home. Now you need some sleep. Not in a cold cabin in the woods, but in a bed. A bed with sheets made of silk, and though they are not as soft as your skin, I'm sure it won't keep you awake."

"You are mistaken in one respect", I reply.

"What is that?" he asks.

"This is not my bed. This is OUR bed. And I will have you here, tonight, in this bed. Nothing on earth can keep me from that!" I say. I take him, and drag him to the bed. His face saddens.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot sleep with you. Don't ask me why, but I can't. I can give you a castle and the life of a noble lady, but I cannot give you that. I'm sorry..." I see tears emerging in his eyes. His pupils have grown narrower, which gives him a fearsome look. "Believe me, there's nothing more in the world I would give to you than that, but it's not possible. Please... try to accept that."

"Are you serious?", I ask him. I cannot believe it.

"Yes, I am. Don't you think I would accompany you tonight now when we are finally here if I had the chance?"

Before I have the chance to answer, he walks to the fireplace. "The nights are cold here but you won't need to suffer from that". He takes a match and lights a small fire, which will grow greater in time.

"You are not dressed for the night” he says. “I can't be with you tonight, but please let me dress you”. I let him undress me. He takes a beautiful gown from a closet, in which I see many more, all equally beautiful. He dresses me with the gown. "Wait here for me", he orders me. He leaves the room, which gives me time to think.

What is it with him? He took my life but gave me a new one which seems a thousand times as beautiful. He surely doesn't mean me harm, for he has had that chance a thousand times but never did. Will I spend all nights alone? I don't dare to ask him...

He returns, with him a large bottle of wine and two goblets. It reminds me of our night at the lake, when he ran away all of a sudden. He again fills the two goblets half, and hands me over one.

"To our new life. Together. Forever!" my lover says.

"Except for the night", I reply. It visibly saddens him, which makes me regret it. I drink the wine, which is strong and overwhelmingly tasteful. He has finished his one before I'm halfway and refills it, to the brim this time. Even that amount, he has finished before I'm ready. He refills my goblet halfway and pours the remainder in his own one. He finishes it in one draught, then waits patiently until I'm finished. He grabs my shoulders.

"Sleep well tonight. Please, sleep well".

"Goodnight", I say. He leads me to the bed, helps me in it and puts the sheets over me. He gently kisses me. "Goodnight", he whispers, then he leaves the bedroom again. I wonder where he's going. To my surprise, he locks the door carefully. He's locking me up! I run to the door.

"Slawomir! What's this! Am I your prisoner or your lover?" He returns and unlocks the door.

"If there's one prisoner within a thousand miles, then it's me, and not you!" he says with a hissing voice. "You are free to do as you please. And I am not! Stop having doubts about me, dearest." The expression on his face is evil, and it's not caused by his narrow pupils.

"Sorry", I say.

"Go to sleep before your legs fail to support you and I'll get you tomorrow". Before I can reply, he has turned away, closes the door and locks it again.

I can hardly sleep. I can't doubt his love for me. I can't, and I don't want to. But why must I be caged like an animal? Where is he? Will he sleep? I'm afraid I have to accept this, but I can't...

The next morning he enters.

"It's time to get up, dearest". He comes to my bed, and tenderly kisses me. "Did you sleep well?" he asks.

"No, I did not. Did you expect me to sleep actually?" I reply viciously?

"No, I did not. But I hoped you did."

I get up and he dresses me with clothes from another closet then the one the gown came from. He takes the belt with the dagger and fastens it again.

"Why do I need this dagger?", I ask him.

"It decorates you and besides, the lady of the castle can't walk unarmed. Even if there would be no threat in the world, it's part of your garment. You are beautiful with it."

I must admit, the dagger is beautiful.
We go all the stairs down again.

"Why did they build the bedroom so high in the tower?" I ask him.

"In case the castle is under attack, the tower is the point where the enemy will get last. It's easy to defend. The husband of the castle lady will command the army, while the castle lady takes refuge in the tower. Sieges can take months, the bedroom is comfortable. The life of the soldiers defending the castle was a lot less comfortable”, he adds smilingly.

We reach a new hall. I still cannot really imagine the vastness of the castle. There are musical instruments on the wall, some chairs which are rather thrones but more comfortable, and a table as large as a small room.

"This is somehow the living room", he says. "This is where the lord and lady came for meals, which usually took many hours. Come, have a seat". He takes me to the largest chair and I sit down in it. He takes a violin from the wall. "Can I please you with some music?” Without waiting for an answer, he starts playing. The music is slow and sad, but very beautifully played. I listen intensely while he plays on. Time passes quickly.

"Did you enjoy it?", he asks. I'm astonished by his mastery of the instrument. I walk to him, wrap my arms around him and whisper:

"Yes, I did. Really. Where did you learn to play that well?"

"A long time of practice, really. But today, it has paid off".

The rest of the day he shows me more of the castle. Every room, every hall, everything is more beautiful. But the end is the same. We share a bottle of wine in the bedroom, he wishes me goodnight, and leaves, securely locking the door. After some nights, I decide not to go on like this until the end of time. I want it all or I want nothing, which is not an option anymore. I have carefully studied the key around his neck. It's ancient, from the time when they made neither complex locks nor keys. I remove a board from a closet and carefully start cutting with the dagger. It takes the whole night to make something like a key out of it and countless times of trying, but finally it fits. I hide it under my bed, and wait for the next night.

That night, I wait until he puts me in bed and leaves. I wait a moment, unlock the door and as quietly as I can I follow him. He heads downstairs. I'm shaking all over, but keep following him. He goes to the library, takes a book from a shelf and starts reading it.

"Slawomir?", I say, barely audible.

"Dearest!" How did you get here? You are supposed to sleep. "

"I know. But please... give me one night with you. I can't go on like this forever. Try to understand." Tears emerge in my eyes. I run for him. I feel his arms around me, his lips on mine.

"Yes", he says, "let us do it once. Come with me!" I am delighted, after waiting so long.

He takes me to the tower, to the bed which is finally our bed. He undresses and we enter it.
"Relax, relax completely, and let me go on", he says. Finally... How I longed for this every night in my loneliness...

He possesses great skills as a lover. He finds my most sensitive spots with ease. I feel his fingers, his lips, his whole body everywhere. He takes his time, trying to please me as deeply as he can. I tell myself I deserve it, after all those times having been alone. He turns me to my front, his hands on my shoulders.

He bends over to my neck, and I expect a kiss. I feel a sharp pain, like two needles are inserted.

"Slawomir, stop that. That does not feel good actually". He bites deeper and I feel his lips. Frightened, I try to throw him off me but his hands are strong. I try to wrestle myself away from under his body.

"Let me have you", he hisses. "Let me have you totally and completely. Let me finally have you! You think it was you who has waited for me? Foolish girl! You will never understand what I had to endure". I am frightened completely by now, the old Slawomir seems replaced by a demon, incapable of love. I manage to put a foot in his stomach and push him away. He hardly seems to notice. I jump off the bed and run for the door, but he's in between and I can't make it. Panicked, I run for the dagger which he made me wear. I take it from the sheath. He stands before me, willing to grab me but the dagger makes him hesitate. He seems to come to his senses a little, but can fall away in madness every moment.

"You have the chance now. Run away, far away and never come back here!" His breath is feverish and seems uncontrolled, I almost hear his heart beating. "Go, don't wait! Save yourself and run away before I lose myself again".

I can't.

"No. Please, tell me what's going on!"

"There's no time for that! Run away while you have the chance. And make sure you lock the door behind you."

I still can't.

"If there's even the slightest trace of love left in you then run away at once! I beg you to! Please! Go!"

I can't refuse. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss him goodbye, but he gestures me to leave. I fear his hands. I can't stay. Slowly, I leave the room. He throws me the key.

"I will find a way to leave this room, like you did. It will give you time to reach a safe place. Go away dearest... Sorry that I took you here..."

I think back of all the moments we shared. No-one will take that away from us.

"Don't be sorry. You have made me my heaven on earth. No-one has ever been in heaven and returned. Thank you. Thank you for everything, Slawomir".

With the dagger, I cut a large lock of my hairs and leave it for him. I look in his eyes for the last time, only now I see the sharp teeth in the corners of his jaw. Overcome with tears, I leave the room, slowly close the door and lock it, respecting his last wish. I descend the stairs, walk through the large hall to the library. In the library, there are maps of the forest. Now I understand why he showed them to me. I take the maps with me and go to the gate of the castle. I leave....

I look back at the castle. Magnificent as it is, I now realize it is his prison. Beautiful beyond human imagination, but the prison of my lover.

After I found my way through the forest, I reach the village from where we left. People look at me surprised. One of them offers to take me to the railway station. Having no other means of transport, I accept it. When we reach the station, I turn around to thank my helper, but he rapidly leaves. I take the train and eventually reach home.

It is months later now. I managed to pick up my old life. Often, I think back of the weird story. I can tell nobody, for no-one will believe me. Sometimes I think it all was a dream, but then I take the dagger and look at it. The whole story comes back then. I have shown the dagger to nobody.

There's a pigeon in the garden. A strange one, which I never saw before. Curious, I look at the creature. She doesn't seem to be afraid, but when I approach her, she leaves and flies away in the distance. I see a letter at the place where she was.

"The greatest desire of the vampire is the blood of his victim, the more beautiful she is, the more it will please him. I tried to overcome the desire of the vampire's nature. I pushed away the thought that it was not possible. It required utmost self-control, and I knew I would fail one day. I gave you the dagger to protect yourself from me. I left you alone the night at the lake, but I needed you. I left you alone every night, trying to save your life. Being close to you, the desire for blood burnt in me. I'm glad you managed to escape. Sorry that I didn't tell you earlier. I feared losing you more than not having you completely.

I love you deeply, dearest. The greater our love is, the more it is impossible to be together. Where you are now, please be happy, be as happy as possible. I try the same. It's the only thing we can do for each other.

Fare thee well dearest. May the remembrances of the past be our greatest treasure."

I smile. I treasure the remembrances, knowing at this moment of what I will think at my last day.

"Strange worlds don't only exist in fantasy novels. They can be just around the corner. Many, however, fail to see them."