Hatred

How can one person have so much hatred for another person? Someone they have never met, let alone never talked to. I can't explain it but its there. SHE is EVERYWHERE, yet I can't see or hear her. She is in my days and my nights. She has made me so nuts that I have ruined the best thing in my life. Sad thing is, is that HE’s letting her.

There are so many unanswered questions that I have made up my own answers. Not a trustworthy idea. I imagine the worse, yet there is no one there to tell me I am wrong. You would think that if HE loved me, that HE would put my mind at ease instead of my brain racing.

I have never hated one person so much in my life as I do this one person. I was always taught that you should never hate anyone; you may dislike them, but never hate. I was never allowed to use the word. It was a dirty four letter word in our house. Now, I have it and I can't get rid of it. I've tried real hard to overcome it and it just won't go away.

I've noticed that hatred grows. Maybe that is why when growing up parents tell you that it is not nice to hate anyone. I now know. Everyday it grows more and more and not just for her, it grows for him also. I find that He is a liar and a cheat and I hate him for that. My hatred has grown all around me and it's not pretty.

I have done much thinking on this and have come to the conclusion that in order for this hatred to disappear, he will have to disappear. There were many hours of thinking and debating in my head and that is what it comes down to. No matter how much love I have for this man I cannot overcome hatred. He is a daily reminder of hate because it started with his secrets, lies and cheating.