Nintendo Bash

We start off in a dark room. A large silhouetted figure looms at the end of a
table.

"So, it's agreed then?" he asks, his voice like thunder.

"Yes... they have gotten enough publicity to put a substantial dent in our
profits." replied another, slightly smaller, silhouetted figure.

"It is the only option... they cannot be allowed to give our games bad
publicity."

"It's not just your games, all of the gaming companies are suffering because of
their criticism... we cannot allow them to go any further."

"Then it's settled," the hulking figure said, standing up. "They must die!"

With that he slammed his fist down on a picture of two good friends, commonly
referred to as.... Freak Boy and Somedude.

------------------Somedude's House.2:00pm------------------

Freak Boy and Somedude were spending another lazy Saturday playing videogames.
Currently, they were playing Soul Calibur II. Now, Freak Boy and Somedude were
both very good at video games. Freak Boy was your typical first person shooting
game whiz; Somedude had the advantage when it came to combat games. As for RPG
games... the craptacular ATB system ensured that both of them were about
equal.

Freak Boy was hyperfocusing, his eyes not blinking. He was wearing a vintage
Legend of Zelda shirt, some blue jeans and a pair of suede shoes. His hair was
roughly parted down the middle and poofed out quite a bit. (John Kerry style,
but chestnut in color) Somedude was wearing a Nintendo Addict shirt, blue jeans
and a pair of sneakers. His hair was black, with his black shirt and khaki’s making it stick out.
"Hey, Somedude... did you play the Windwaker?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering... in Soul Calibur II, Link looks badass. But, in the Windwaker
and Four Swords... he looks-"

"Crap-tastic." Somedude finished for Freak Boy. The two did think alike, in
most instances. "Nintendo was so good, then... it just died."

"What happened? Bush take over the Nintendo corporation too? Hail to the
thief..."

"You'd better watch what you say, Freak Boy. With the Patriot Act in order, the
CIA is monitoring our internet posts."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... what are they gonna do about it?" Freak Boy asked, rather
cockily. Almost as soon as he finished that sentence, a brick came flying
through the window and hit Freak Boy in the head.

Attached to the brick was a note that said;
That.
--CIA.

"You're paying for that window, you know..." Somedude said, angrily.

"What?!"

”Which reminds me, the door from last week…”

Freak Boy and Somedude Present

Nintendo Bash

Starring-

Freak Boy
Somedude
Bowser
Nintendo of America
Random Final Fantasy Girls
Voldo
CIA Agent #4
Billy Bob Jim Bob Joe Bob Jim IV

------------------Somedude's House. 3:00pm------------------

"Dear, Freak Boy and Somedude,

Congratulations! I, Billy Bob Jim Bob Joe Bob Jim IV of the Gaming Research
Organization of Intelligence at Nintendo, am pleased to announce that you two
have been our best customers for the past 4 years in a row. Until now, we have
done nothing about this, but now we are offering you two the GamePros of the
Year Award! Aside from receiving these two fabulous medals, please find
enclosed 2 tickets to this year’s convention, Nintendo Addicts and Deterred
Sociopaths. Hope to see you there.

Sincerely,
Billy Bob Jim Bob Joe Bob Jim IV of
Gaming Research Organization of Intelligence at Nintendo." Freak Boy said,
reading the latest e-mail to his account.

"Cool." Freak Boy said with a smile. "Hey, wait a minute... that spells gr-"

"Shut up! I'm fighting that Soul Edge guy!" Somedude said. You could hear the
music playing fiercely. Lightning struck the ground.

"I've gotta see this."

Somedude was playing as Killik. He charged forward, only to have
his head cut off. Soul Edge then proceeded to go overkill and desecrate his
corpse, then give them the finger. Somedude shouted in frustration and threw
his controller at the wall.

"Wow... these games are getting more and more vulgar every year."

"I know, tell me about it. So, what is it you were saying?"

"We just got invited to this years convention of Nintendo Addicts and Deterred
Sociopaths."

"Sweet, we'll get going.... but first-" Somedude picked up his controller and
tried to fight Soul Edge again. There was a sharp slicing sound, followed by
evil laughter. Somedude shouted in frustration again.

“We should go. Before I break that thing in half.”

-------Nintendo Addicts and Deterred Sociopaths building. 9:00am---------

“So, this is the place?” asked Freak Boy.

“You know, you seem awfully calm, especially after all the crap we went through on the flight here.”

Freak Boy looked into the air blankly. “Are you setting up a flashback?”

“Yes,” gritted Somedude through his teeth.

**************************************************

Airport lines were long. Extremely long. It pissed both Freak Boy and Somedude off to no end, waiting in the same line for about a half-hour. At least it seemed to be moving very quickly.
“Oh, God, I hate flying” said Freak Boy as he looked ahead towards the security gate. “Ever since 9/11.”

“Terrorists?” asked Somedude as the two of them waited.

“No, the damn airport security.”

“OK, Mr. Ahmed, go right in,” an airport security guard said to the man in front of Freak Boy. Despite his ragged appearance and the fact that he smelled like gasoline, he was allowed in no problem.

“OK, Mr. Tin Man, just go right through,” ordered the security guard to the man in front of them. Somedude ignored the man, just glad he was finally going to get through.

“I’m next!” shouted Freak Boy as he ran right through the metal detector, causing it to go off. Almost instantly, seven guards ran

“Hold it right there buddy!” Freak Boy turned around. “Uh, hi.”

The guards all pointed their nightsticks at Freak Boy as they growled.

“Oh, come on. I don’t have a gun,” replied Freak Boy as he pulled something out of his pocket. The guards quickly panicked.

“He’s got a nail clipper! Get him!”

Freak Boy was quickly pounced on by the guards. “Somedude, help!”

“And lose my place in line? Are you out of your damn mind?”

-----------------------Airplane 3:00am-----------------------

Freak Boy and Somedude sat in their seats. Somedude relaxed, ready to sleep for
the whole flight. Freak Boy pulled out a can of Red Bull.

"Freak Boy, what are you doing? You know what those do to you..."

"I know... but they're addicting. Besides, what's gonna happen?"

-----------------------Airplane 3:05am-----------------------

Freak Boy was fidgety and twitchy. He moved around constantly, annoying the
crap out of Somedude. Finally, Somedude got an idea.

"Freak Boy, why don't you watch the in-flight movie?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! In-flight movie! Good! Movie!" Freak Boy said at lightning
speed.

He looked up as the screen came down. The screen flickered to life as the voiceover started. “And now, we present to you, a movie so horrible, so vile, many hoped it would never been seen again We present- Halle Berry’s Catwoman.

The blood drained from Somedude’s faces. “Monsters…”

"Oh God no!! Eject!! EJECT!!!"

"Freak Boy... there is no eject button."

"To hell with this!!"

Freak Boy attempted to jump out the window, but the shatterproof glass withstood his attempts to break it with his head.

“Dammit, I need to get out of here!”

Hurrying into the aisle, Freak Boy ran to the bathroom, only to find it occupied. He ripped the door open and tossed out Britney Spears and 2 black guys.

"Oops, I did it again." Britney smiled guiltily as she was pulled off screen by
the men.

Freak Boy then flushed himself down the toilet and fell through the ships hull.
A flight attendant walked up to Somedude.

"Goodness, won't he be hurt?" she asked with a general tone of concern.

"No, relax. Its fine, we haven't even taken off yet."