Trick or Treat

The doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming," I called out to the would-be trick or treaters outside. "Hang on a sec..."

Seven kids stood in front of me. At this rate, I was going to need to make another candy run.

"Here you go. Nice costumes!" I didn't really mean it. Powerpuff Girls, Hobbits and Vampires almost every time. At least they had costumes, though. Lately the kids started showing up with less and less in the way of Halloween garb. Not everyone in my neighborhood could afford a proper costume- but I usually gave the kids treats anyway.

"Do you have anything else?" one of the hobbits asked.

"Sorry, that's it," I replied. I couldn't believe his gall. It was like I was being panhandled. Whatever happened to Halloween?

"C'mon kids," a parent cried out. "We have seven more blocks to hit!"

I watched the kids jump in their minivan. They weren't even from my neighborhood.

Forget this, I thought to myself. Halloween is officially over! I shut the porch light and extinguished my jack-o-lantern. "I was about to run out of candy anyway," I muttered aloud. Getting more candy was just going to be a pain, and by the time I got back the trick-or-treaters would be finished anyway. I turned off my living room lights to give the "I'm CLOSED" impression to the street, and sat down to watch TV. I was happy to see the football game wasn't over yet, I was afraid I was going to miss it.

Just then- a knock at the door.

"Sorry, out of candy!" I shouted. "Try again next year!"

The knocking became more intense.

Can you believe the nerve of these kids? I thought to myself.

I scowled as I rose from the couch. "I said I'm out of candy," I replied as I flung open the door, "I'm all out...."

I saw no one standing there. I flicked on my porch light, but still nothing.

"Hello?" I called out. "Anybody out there?"

Silence.

I shut off the porch light again, shut and locked the door. "Stupid kids," I muttered, "Next year I'm going away for Halloween. No more candy."

Back on the couch, I resumed watching the game. I had missed a touchdown during that escapade. "Happy Halloween, indeed," I said to myself. "I should've gone to that costume party."

The knocking started back up. I resolved to ignore it. I turned the volume up on the game. A bone rattling tackle now reverberated in my eardrums.

Even over the din, I could still hear the knocking. Whomever was out there must have been really pounding on my door. I was moving past mere frustration into pure anger at the situation.

I unlocked and flung the door open for the second time. "Who is there?" I shouted aloud, "I am closed up for the night!"

Again- no one. I was becoming annoyed at this prank. My porch light revealed nothing- no kids, no adults, nothing at all. The streets appeared to be empty. I didn't even see any cars driving about.

I shut the door and dead-bolted it. I shut the TV off for good measure. I headed to the backdoor and slipped outside.

Quietly, I crept to the side-yard gate, and carefully opened it and closed it behind me to not make a sound. I was going to catch the little jerk who was messing with me. I hid in the shadows of my darkened carport.

I heard banging again. Gotcha! My plan was going to work!

Someone was pounding on the door again. I tore around the corner to see who it was....

Nobody. But the pounding continued, nevertheless.

I went to the door. It was still locked.

The pounding was coming from inside the door!

I reached into my pocket and furiously dug for my house keys. Trembling, I shot open the dead-bolt and turned the doorknob.

I was dumbstruck! I was on the other side of that door. The guy inside the house was ME!

"Oh- hey," my doppleganger said to me. "Did you get that candy? We are almost out, you know..."

"What is the meaning of this," I demanded of my mirror image, "What are you trying to pull?"

"No time to chat. I'm going to miss that Halloween party Shelia invited us to- so could you give me the car keys?"

"I told her I wasn't going to that party."

"I know. Guess what- I don't want to spend Halloween in a darkened room watching a stupid football game. Now give me the keys."

I gave him the keys. He went through the door, and I returned inside the house. He started the car and drove away.

I sat back down on the couch. I hope I have a good time at that party.

I've been meaning to get out of the house. One could go crazy staying inside all the time...

Now, where'd I put that candy?