the balance

thought i would go down to the bar again. instead went to sleep and seen jim for a while, was really nice to see him ever since i started work at that god dammn factory i havent even been able to see my own god dammn reflection. but yeah i got a day off i phoned in sick...the way you would do it as a teenager so u could go out with the girl next door or your best friend and drink without your parents knowing. its fantastic that i got a day to myself i started to forget who i was since i woke up this morning. i managed to actaully taste the toast and nectar this time. i look at all my stuff in the fridge the eggs,milk,nectar,tuna,corned beef,cheese,chicken... i dont remember buying any of this. my gross little appartment looked clean since i am never hear to make a mess. jim told me to relax today and also mentioned that girls name again diane. who the hell is diane i asked him time and time again, but he just sits there and says, david please be quiet ....and let me talk thank you. jim always tells me i am a very lucky man and i own a gift that is very diffirent from most other peoples example of a gift. he cheers me up something awfull tho, i always wonder what his childhood was like because i get scared when i see him the way he is, far to old to be standing. so he sits at his piano and talks to me while playing small fiddly tunes ...fiddly...his black suit is never creced or marked his grey hair is perfectly combed over to perfection the shine from it makes me smirk now and then,the wrinkles on his face each tell a great tale of excitment. well to me anyway but he wont ever tell me those tales...but anyway ive decided i have become my job...at the factory...doing...

ohhh...its so cold outside and this fucking key wont go in the lock. i felt really childlike as i slid down the wall and dropped bag after bag of grocaries as if it was an avalanche and i just didnt move. today has been my worst day in my entire life and just to top it off such a trivial thing as my hands being to cold just tilted my world. i looked down each side of the hallway looking for neighbour upon neighbour to poke there heads out for some entertainment, but there was not a soul in site. i stood up as if i just came right out of the water i felt heavy and freezing. it took me ages to pick up each single little item...the eggs,milk,nectar,tuna,cornedbeef,cheese,chicken.......i stood there and looked and thought, i dont eat chicken and ive allready bought milk...i dont..remember...this confusion just had more actions than words to it ive never slammed a door so hard in my life. then saying to myself while laughin 'bet those nosey fucks are poking there heads out now'. my appartment was a beyond a mess i swear to god i dont know how i do it i mean what time do i actaully have to turn my house into a fucking playpen...i figured right there and then i had to put my head down. deep inside me i wanted to see jim, but he scares me just the way he knows me far to well and...its far to hard to get over that its just a dream but. you cant have the same person in your dream since you were 15 years old....so i decided to phone rachel at the office. i flicked my shoes into the unknown wich was the cushions paper work and food that was on the floor. the groceries were just dropped onto the sofa and my coat was left to drag behind me as i walked and took it off at the same time. the phone felt good as i held it in my hand it was as if to say this is going to be the highlight of your day. i punched in the office's number as fast as i could. it didnt even ring once and someone picked up,i spoke very fast and happy like for reasons i dont know why, hello its diane from the department could u put rachel on please...there was a small silenceover the phone wich made me say hello again...the voice replyd....i am sorry we dont have a diane in the department...whats your second name?


well another short story i suppose...this one wasnt writing in great detail am leaving it as if these 2 scenes were examples and there is millions to still read wich there isnt but the storyline ive made up intirests me a lot to write more about it. the story is about a person who has 2 diffirent people inside them..and only one of those people are real the other is not. wich one i have no idea on. the guy in the dream the old man with the piano and black suit is like the link between these 2 people..the character in there head. if i was to write on anymore i would not use those 2 examples and take time to write it a lot better getting every little detail in the rooms and just give good description of the place i think thats what it lacked...again..but short story's are short story's anything goes i say..currently working on a peice wich i am loving and writing up here in glasgow at the moment am hoping it can be my first real book and also what i am going to use in college next year so i can get in. you should all watch out for that cause i am hoping to get it out there as well. hopefully...anyway thanks all who reads and enjoy i suppose.