The Earth's Rotation continued 2

Adam turned away from the machine and headed over to the dresser by his bed. In the top drawer he found a small book about behaviour and manners hidden in the back of some old and empty crazy pill bottles. He opened the book to the first page and read over the table of contents.
'I must recommend the page with table manners.'
Adam turned the pages until he found the large font heading of proper table manners and under it read 'What you don't say at the table.'
Things You DON'T Say at the Table
1. I'm going to get laid by my girlfriend.
2. My girlfriend has been hornier than I lately.
3. Is that a cockroach?
4. I need to use the restroom, this is really doing a number on my stomach.
5. Man, the other day I stepped in something and it smelt better than this.
6. Anything mentioning George W. Bush.
The book continued in the same manner so Adam decided to put it back in the drawer where some poor soul could read it if they were bored. Adam headed for the door when he was stopped by the sadist machine.
'Are you leaving already.'
"I need to see where everybody is."
'This is real typical, as soon as people meet me they all leave, without saying good-bye mind you.'
"I just need to talk to them, that's all."
'Talk to them? Am I not worthy of your conversations?"
'No, I..."
'Do I have a sign that implies that I have bad intentions?'
"Well actually..."
'Fine, leave me all alone.'
"If you really want me to stay than..."
'No, go. At least we have our memories.'
Adam opened the automatic door (yes I'm aware) and quietly slipped out of the dark confined room.
'Just a sadist machine and his memories. Oh, god I'm so lonely...so...so...lonely.'
The corridors ran for miles and Adam was getting himself lost just by trying to decide which way he should start walking so he turned left and slammed into a wall.
"Ooow!"
Adam backed away from the wall and rubbed his inflaming bright coloured nose.
"Well that was the wrong way."
He turned around and immediately ran into another wall on his right. It appeared that Adam was in a corridor that branched off but he couldn't figure out where all these walls were coming from.
"Maybe I'll just go straight."
(At this point I don't really think it's necessary to tell you what comes next. I think you're smart enough to figure it out, and if you are not than why the heck are you reading my book.)
Zeta 4: "Oh good, you're awake."
"Unfortunately it would appear so."
Zeta 4: "I forgot to mention about the new instalment Zeta 246 made in the corridors."
"What? Every turn you make there's a wall."
Zeta 4: "No, but your description is pretty interesting. The occupant of the corridor does not move."
"Than we're stuck here?"
Zeta 4: "No, try to understand. They do not move because the mind moves the corridor."
"Are you saying that I meant to walk into the wall?"
Zeta 4: "It maybe because this is all new for you. Try it again."
THUMP.
Zeta 4: "Huh, I guess it was your intentions. Think of the bridge."
Adam thought of the bridge and was instantly transported to a nice river side bridge with trees and a small little park filled with laughing children. Suddenly Zeta 4 appeared.
Zeta 4: "I thought I could find you here. Wrong kind of bridge, smartalic. Now think of a ship's bridge."
Instantly Adam and Zeta 4 reappeared on the ship's bridge, a very active room with five sets of panels to work the ship.
"Wow, look at all the instruments."
Zeta 4: "They're only for show, basically we tell the artificial mother board where our destination is. It's about time I did just that. Computer destination KJ53."
Lights began blinking and the sound of engines started up.
Zeta 4: "That's for show too, the engines are really silent."
>>What is your purpose on KJ53?<< (it's the computer talking, wise guy.)
Zeta 4: "To recover a lost item."
>>Pleasure or business related<<
Zeta 4: "Is this really necessary?"
>>Do you dare talk back to mom?<<
Zeta 4: "No, mom."
>>Business or pleasure?<<
Zeta 4: "Business."
>>Are you lying to me? You better not be<<
Zeta 4: "No, mom."
Zeta 246: "Mommy!"
>>Destination approved, now go to your room<<
Zeta 246: "Yes mommy!"
“Why does it keep acting so strange?”
Zeta 246: “Because mother knows best.”
“What is the deal with this mother talk?”
Zeta 4: “Mother is a whole planet built entirely of networks to run every ship in the universe.”
Zeta 246: “And they make cheese.”
Zeta 4: “No they don’t.”
Zeta 246: “Oh, I think they do… not have none what not so ever.”
“Those are some mighty fine words.”
Zeta 4: “Yup.”
Zeta 246: “No.”
Zeta 4: “What?”
Zeta 246: “I don’t know, do you?”
Zeta 4: “What the hell are you talking about?”
Zeta 246: “I don’t want the colours.”
Zeta 4: “Listen, do I have to get out the chair?”
Zeta 246: “No, I’ll be good.”
Zeta 4: “Fine, now get back to work.”
Zeta 246: “But the voices told me not to.”
Zeta 4: “Mother get out the chair.”
>>There is no chair, John<<
Zeta 4: “What? Why isn’t there a chair?”
>>I haven’t been issued one<<
Zeta 4: “Who was suppose to equip it?”
>>According to the records Zeta 246 was<<
Zeta 246: “Are you saying that it was thrown out the window so it could fly home?”
>>What ever dude. Incoming Norigon vessel. I’m opening the shields on the windows<<
Beside them was a large battle cruiser and it appeared ready to take up arms at any second. The slick shinny body was made for high speed travelling in case any enemy of the Norigon fleet had any sudden ideas of heroics.
*Note* Ahh, the Norigon fleet, the military of militaries in the universe. On a scale of one to ten I would rate them below one for the same number as their intelligence (somewhere in the decimals.) The Norigon fleet are big rhino creatures that own up to every stereotype. There planet is riddled with ships orbiting the murky surface. *End of Note*
In the battle cruiser an argument could be audible as their shields slowly lowered and an audio connection was made.
*Note* The audio is connected outside the ship by using a black box (no relations to airplanes.) *End of Note*
“Hello there, how are you this fine evening?”
Zeta 4: “Look, we don’t want any trouble.”
“I’m sure you don’t, you can relax. The boys and I were just wondering if your ship was meant to be designed the way it is?”
Zeta 4: “What do you mean?”
“Well from the distant it looks like a piece of cheese.”
Zeta 4: “What? Computer, what is the ship design after?”
>>A piece of cheese<<
Zeta 4: “Well what do you know. Funny, I’m not too surprised.”
Zeta 246: “Not just any piece of cheese but a triangle piece of cheese.”
Zeta 4: “There’s a difference?”
Zeta 246: “Gasp, oh no you didn’t. How dare you! I’m leaving.”
Zeta 4: “Finally! Computer set course… destination… KJ53.”




Chapter 3. Spare the Antelopes




On a distant planet somewhere in the universe, the people of KJ53 were fighting the good fight trying to spare the antelopes from extinction. It seemed that digesting too much grass over the years had almost killed them off (and turn their coats green). The people were able to give them five more years to live peacefully without turning a sick shade of green.
The planet was covered with forests of bright orange coloured trees and what seemed to be a very tacky purple rug. In the distance gasses rose over the gentle mountains spreading across the thick layer of atmosphere. The valleys were full of natural springs and hot beds. Their manmade water was created by a scientific method passed down to them by the Zetas.
*Note* The system works like this: First, it is taken from it’s original form (H2O, it’s not brain surgery!) and spliced to separate the hydrogen from the oxygen. They than form a hybrid by mixing a special gas from the Plains of Jebb. Naturally the atoms will not mix but some how they have found a way to manipulate the molecule structure into excepting the new hybrid. Then they clean the water with their water treatment science (Don’t make me explain, or I’ll never speak to you again.) Let’s just say it’s whooop! *End of Note*
We like to call the people of KJ53 the trio(s) because it’s cool. They were given this name because of the Three Star Ceremony that they practice every third blue moon July.
The clover hyper engines of Black Betsy (clover as the colour) prepared the ship for landing releasing fluid to accumulate the amount of pressure the legs needed to land with the gravity difference. The ship touched down on the soft wool fibres and opened the hatch door. Wait, where is everyone? The place is deserted. Adam was the first one to step onto the land.
“That’s one small step for man, and giant one leap for mankind. Didn’t you say this planet was inhabited?”
Zeta 4: “I did, and it is.”
“Than where is everyone?”
Zeta 4: “I don’t know.”
Zeta 246: “They all went out for lunch. Pass the pig.”
They passed the bubbling creek which would normally house beautiful trio women. In a nearby cave an elderly man sat cross legged. He hummed without noticing the approaching travellers. In one hand the man held a pocket knife and in the other a piece of wood.
Zeta 4: “What are you doing old man?”
The man ignored his rude comment, in fact he ignored him completely.
Zeta 246: “Do you have a pig?”
The man finally raised his head to focus his attention on the group.
“I do indeed. I’m just a poor man fiddle sticking.”
Zeta 4: “Is that what you’re doing?”
“Yes?”
“Where I come from we call it whittling.”
“Scout, you are a strange one.”
Zeta 4: “What do you expect, he’s from Earth.”
“Earth? My god Scout is this true?”
“Yes.”
“Than I am very glad to meet you. Earth, I can’t believe it. A real earthman in my presence. Can I shake your hand, Scout?”
“I guess so.”
“Yes than, we must be on our way.”
Zeta 4: “Where is everyone?”
“They number the underground landscape behind me. Follow me.”
He turned on a dime and led the group though the mouth of the cave. It seemed like they were walking a marathon and were overjoyed when they reached an underground pool. Lights surrounded the outer walls of the cavern. Around the pool sat groups of trios engaged in conversations concerning things like pigs and various things.
“Welcome to our swimming area.”
Zeta 4: “Is that all you do is swim?”
“I’ll have you know that our skills are for our safety and survival.”
“Are you really that fast?”
“Fastest swimmers in the universe. Now come along we have just reached the first out of thousands of caverns.”
They exited the room at the opposite end. A few feet (and arms) later they stopped in front of another cavern with a large wooden door.
*Note* I see that you have made it up to chapter three, congratulations. I hope my style of writing is keeping your attention span. Unfortunately I have been informed of a rising dark force somewhere in the Nak galaxy. Personally I have always found the Nak galaxy to be quite rude so maybe they were always evil (who knows). Nak is filled with poor housing and grim neighbourhoods on every planet. Luckily there isn’t that many planets in that region. *End of Note*
This new room was small and had bad lighting. It was difficult to see some of the objects around the room.
“Mind your steps, the next door is directly in front of us.”
After passing through a few more rooms they finally got to their destination. Adam couldn’t stop wondering whereabouts they were throughout this giant maze of rock. White pillars ran up to the ceiling and enclosed the room. It reminded Adam of a library back on Earth. Not any library in particular but just your ordinary one of a kind Earth library with a drinking fountain near the entrance. Purple linen lined the walls and meet at the ceiling; a sight no one had seen before. In the centre of the room was a statue of Bob. Some of the trios were praying around the base of the statue. A few of the trio women rested in their lobster top bikinis while the men paraded around them.
*Note* It seems that every where we go today men can’t seem to be able to keep it in their pants. Not every body wants the “Mighty Willy” out in public. Is it so out of the question to have a nice evening without seeing someone whip it out. What ever, I’ll stay out of your business if you just stay the hell away from me. *End of Note*
“This room is called Mordax. This room makes and nourishes flies.”
“It does what?”
“It make flies. They are very proud of it.”
Zeta 4: “Excuse me but why do you make them?”
“We need to provide flies for the clothing industry.”
Zeta 4: “Clothing for flies?”
Zeta 246: “I take a size three.”
“However the industry has been declining for some reason. I’m afraid that something is terribly wrong.”
Zeta 4: “Besides the fact that your making clothing for flies?”
“You need to learn some manners, boy.”
Zeta 4: “Look, we need some information from you.”
“Oh? And what may that be? Why do you need a fish for the end of the universe?”
Zeta 4: “How did you know?”
“Oh please, I am one of the fifty-nine wise men.”
Zeta 246: “Are you very wise?”
“So wise that it’s amazing.”
Zeta 246: “Is there anyone else like you.”
“There’s fifty-nine of us.”
Zeta 246: “You don’t say.”
“I do.”
Zeta 246: “Wow!”
Zeta 4: “Enough of this, why do we need a fish?”
“Don’t you listen, you will find out when the time is right.”
Zeta 4: “You’ve never said that before.”
“I haven’t?”
Zeta 4: “No.”
“Well I’m pretty sure that it was said to you before.”
Zeta 246: “It was.”
Zeta 4: “No it wasn’t.”
Adam stepped into the conversation.
“No, he’s right.”
Zeta 4: “Yeah? When was it said than.”
“Zeta 8 told you not to question him and that we would find out when the time is right.”
Zeta 4: “Well I don’t remember it.”
“I think you do…”
Zeta 4: “No I don’t! Listen do you value your life?”
“Of course I do.”
Zeta 4: “Than shut up!”
The old man rolled his eyes.
“You can’t kill him. You needs Scout’s help.”
Zeta 4: “Fine than I’ll kill him after.”
“Mother nature won’t let you.”
Zeta 4: “Be quite old man, what do know.”
“Listen here you pompous creature, I will not be talked to in such a manner.”
Zeta 4: “Well you just were.”
“Why you…”
“I would hate to interrupt this family togetherness but shouldn’t we be trying to save the Earth?”
“The Earth? Boy you need to save the universe now?”
Zeta 4: “What? Now what’s wrong?”
“Someone or something is driving the Norigon fleet to do evil.”
Zeta 4: “Well they are military.”
“No this is far worse than the military, this is something like…the navy.”
Zeta 246: “Ahhhhh, we’re all going to die! Those suits are so tasteless.”
“Yes, yes they are. Any way all that aside, go to the planet with the clothing industry and find out why sales are declining.”
Zeta 4: “Look, we’ve got more important things to do.”
“This is important! You may find someone there who will aid you on your journey.”
Zeta 4: “Now you’re talking my language.”
“I don’t speak Zetansis.”
The ground around them began to shake and sounds of weapons echoed throughout the tunnels. Adam was holding his breath.
“What is that?”
“It sounds like Norigon weapons.”
*Note* The sound of a Norigon weapon goes like this, woop woop wong. It’s an interesting sound and worth being mentioned. *End of Note*
Up in the higher subterranean tunnels the Norigon fleet was attacking innocent trio people. Some had been cornered but most had made an escape through their water systems.
“How would you like to die?”
“To tell you the truth, I would prefer to live.”
“Okay…wait, what? You can’t do that.”
“Yes I can. I have a family and it’s not a good time for me.”
“No that’s out of the question.”
“Well you asked me how I would like to die.”
“I meant the choice in how you would die.”
“That’s not what I heard.”
The Norigon motioned to another to come over.
“What is it?”
“Can he choose not to die?”
“No, of course not.”
Someone in pain from their injuries spoke up.
“Technically, he can.”
“What?”
“Well he did ask him if he wanted to die.”
“No I asked him how he wanted to die.”
“Well that can still be taken in the same way.”
A few more people began talking.
“I would like to be spared.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Same here.”
“Now look, no one is going to live.”
“Does that include you?”
“No!”
“Does that exclude me?” the first one asked.
“No!”
“It’s a bad day to be me.”
The Norigon fleet finished of the task at hand but missed one person.
“Umm, excuse me but it seems that you have forgotten about me.”
“Oh yes, I’m sorry. Do you have any final words?”
“Yes…I wish I could have lived longer.”
With his final words he was killed and was a greater man for it. Back at the room that Adam had thought appeared on the same bases as a library the team had abandoned their dreams for the time being. The old man pulled back one of the linen cloths and revealed a hidden door to the others. They all followed the man through the door and down a flight of stairs. The man disappeared around the next corner as everything turned a dark shade of yellow and faded away. No one had time to respond and they were swallowed whole.




Chapter 4. Spare Tires Adopted My Space Baby




*Note* Look at that chapter title and see why you should never try to understand the turning cogs in my noodle. Here’s a little story about this title. One night at four-thirty I decided to work on my novel. That’s how I came up with most of my book. Now this title is a product of me brain in the afternoon. I know you want to find out what happened at the end of chapter three and that’s why I’m delaying. When you’re the author of a book you have to control the level of suspense. Now, by writing about this makes myself twice the wiser. I have now created so much suspense that your head is now popping out of it’s rightful place. I wonder how much I can keep this up until the editor stops *End of Note*
Alright, so this is what happened. There was no monster or something ugly like that. The three amigos found them self standing in front of a large farm field however instead of having crops run the lengths of the fields there were tiny clothing hanging on poles. Each article of clothing was the size of a thumb tack.
“Now this is something you don’t see every day.”
Zeta 246: “I came here last weekend.”
Zeta 4: “You were with me last weekend…or maybe not.”
“Do you think they get paid a lot of money for this?”
Zeta 4: “No, just look at the dump they live in.”
At the end of the long field closest to them was a home fit for a lawn gnome. Meaning it was almost a shack made out of boards of wood that were rugged and splintered. If you are wonder why a gnome just because it’s cool. The rest of the land behind it was occupied by large industries filling the air with a bright orange pollution. There was no sight of water or any hills just the bitter landscape before them. They walked through the rows of poles all the way to the small shack and knocked on the front door (the only door.)
“Hello?”
Zeta 246: “We have cheese.”
Zeta 4: “No we don’t.”
Zeta 246: “We can make cheese.”
The door slowly slid open to a crack.
“Can you really make cheese.”
Zeta 246: “Can you?”
“No, although I haven’t really tried.”
Zeta 4: “We’re here about the top secret currently unexplained thing.”
“Uh yes, what’s the code word.”
Zeta 4: “No grandma I don’t want chicken soup on a Monday.”
“So you have come from KJ53. Well than I more than happy to sit down to a cup of tea.”
Zeta 4: “You can do that in a shack?”
“I’ll have you know that this is a five star shack.”
Zeta 4: “Really.”
“Yes, is this guy always rude?”
“Can’t think of a time when he’s not.”
Zeta 246: “Yup.”
Zeta 4: “I received a metal for it once.”
“Well come in, come in. But your dingo will have to wait out side.”
They all turned around.
Zeta 4: “Have we always had a dingo.”
“Can’t think of a time when we’ve not.”
Zeta 246: “The dingo ate my baby.”
They all entered the shack (except the dingo) and marvelled at the massive interior.
Zeta 4: “How can this place look like a shack on the outside but be so big on the inside.”
“All houses are like that.”
Zeta 4: “Well that’s true.”
“He has a point.”
“Come in to the dinning area and let’s talk business.”
They all entered a room with a fire place and cozy couches.
“The stocks are up so we’ve got to sell. That’s enough of business now tell me what is your purpose here.”
Zeta 4: “We are trying to get beyond the door of the universe.”
“Oh my, that is a big task.”
*Note* I bet you would like to know what this guy looks like, don’t you? Well let me take the time to explain him in this note. These notes are the source of my power. You probably can’t wait for the next one. This guy was your classic alien farmer. He wore the overall jeans and the button up red shirt. He had green skin and his hair was tied up in the back with a bandana. In fact the most uninformed person would say that this guy was a hick except for his accent which was never present. He wore boots that would leave a lake for a foot print (and yes that is maybe too big.) *End of Note*
The group could tell that this guy was not someone without intelligence. His brain was clearly there and ready to shine.
“The door is unpredictable, it has no directed course. It is driven with the force of Shynnah.”
“What is Shynnah?”
“It is ancient and most powerful magic.”
Zeta 4: “Magic? Ha, there’s no such thing as magic.”
Zeta 246: “Ronald McDonald believes in it and you should too.”
“Is he okay?”
Zeta 4: “Never is.”
“Any ways…magic is as real as you and me.”
Zeta 246: “And me?”
Zeta 4: “No.”
“Why do you think your planet could not be explained?”
Zeta 4: “I don’t know.”
“Because it’s Shynnah.”
Zeta 4: “I wish you wouldn’t say that.”
“You better watch your self.”
Zeta 246: “Or get a crazy white guy to…oh we’ve already got one.”
“Hey!”
“Many things is the universe are… hey are you listen to me?”
Zeta 4: “No.”
“Why have all the sales in fly clothing decreased?”
“Excuse me? Did you just interrupt me?”
“Sorry.”
Zeta 246: “Wow this guy is impatient.”
Zeta 4: “You’re telling me.”
“Will you all just shut up and sit down.”
Zeta 4: “Talk about rude.”
“Listen did you come about the door or not?”
Zeta 246: “What door.”
“Ahhhhh!”
Zeta 4: “Yes we did.”
“Okay, than I will aid you on your journey.”
Zeta 4: “Tell us what we need to know.”
“No, I must come along.”
Zeta 4: “Now wait a minute nobody said anything about you coming with us.”
“Well they must have forgotten to mention it.”
Zeta 4: “No way, we don’t need someone else.”
Adam stood up, “I don’t think we have a choice.”
Zeta 4: “You can come along if you can provide some fur coats.”
“Fur coats?”
Zeta 4: “That’s right, I have my reasons.”
“So why have the sales been dropping?”
Zeta 246: “Like flies.”
Zeta 4: “That was stupid.”
“Actually he makes a good point. Flies have not been living full lives lately.”
“Why are flies so important?”
“Because they provide a better health care system.”
“How does that work?”
Zeta 4: “Don’t ask, we’ve given you enough background. Just read it in the guide to the universe. It’s one step up from the guide to the galaxy.”
“Interesting.”
Zeta 4: “Not really.”
Zeta 246: “I love that book.”
“What I don’t understand is how we got here.”
“I brought you and now we must return to retrieve your ship.”
Zeta 4: “Why can’t we just teleport again?”
“My teleport can only bridge a connection between the two worlds.”