Unloved

How would you feel if you were destined to never fall in love? What if you knew it for certain, beyond a doubt? That’s what happened to me, the very day I was born. Of course I don’t actually remember what happened but I was told it by my mother before she died.
My mom was in labour and it seemed that I wasn’t going to make it. My dad, a powerful magician who received his powers from the gods stood by her side, holding her hand and praying to his gods to let her and myself survive. At the moment of my birth I stopped breathing. My father took me into his arms and began to use his magic to save my life but nothing was working. It seemed it was not in the gods plans to allow me to live. My father tried none the less, defying the gods as he did so.
“Please give me my daughter. Take anything else from me but leave me my daughter and my wife.” he cried at the gods. It seemed that they would not answer his prayer and he fell to his knees, cradling me in his arms and weeping bitterly. But suddenly I began to cry. He looked up to the sky, thanked the gods then looked down at me and took me over to see my mother. She was barely awake but managed to smile weakly before she fell unconscious.
“There will be consequences for this moments happiness, Joshua .” A voice in my fathers head told him.
“I don’t care. I can handle anything now.” He whispered back at the voice. After this he smiled down at me and stroked my mother’s hair as she slept.

Later that night my father sat in front of our house having just left me in my mothers arms for her to put me to sleep. So this is what true happiness feels like, he thought to himself, stretching out on the chair and finally relaxing. He breathed a deep sigh then saw the thing which he had been dreading all day.
A light was shining down from the sky and out of this beam came a man, dressed all in white. When he stood in front of my father he shook his head disapprovingly.
“Joshua, I thought you would have known better than to challenge the gods. You’ve dealt with them often enough.”
“I don’t care about consequences. I just want my daughter and my wife. After this I can die happy knowing they are both safe.”
“Its never that easy Joshua. I thought you’d have remember that. Consequences never only affect you. They affect everyone. Especially those you try to save.” A grim expression came over my father’s face at these words. He had forgotten that small detail and he knew that I would pay dearly for his mistake.
“What are the consequences?” He asked, suddenly desperate to know.
“They have declared that your daughter be unloved.” The messenger stated coldly.
“That’s impossible. I will always love her.”
“That may be but she will never love you. And we both know that you cant endure that. If you force yourself upon her she will begin to hate you.” My father dropped back into his chair, looking completely defeated.
“So she can never be loved?” he asked himself. “Not even by her mother?” he looked up questioningly at the messenger.
“No. Not even by her mother.”
“My dear , sweet Alexandria, what form of life have I cursed you to?” he began to cry, unable to do anything else.
“I’m sorry that I had to be the one to give you this awful news but you really should have known better. My advise would be to sacrifice the child back to the gods and end her misery and your own.” At the very sound of such a thought my father jumped up in a rage.
“I will never do any such thing! My daughter will always be loved by me, even if she does not love me in return!!! I will not murder the one for whom I was prepared to sacrifice everything; for whom I will give up everything, including herself.” He turn his back to the messenger. “Leave. You have done your job and much more, but your advise is not needed here.” With this the messenger bowed his head to my father’s back and left. As soon as he was gone my father dropped back into his chair and wept at the thought of what he had to do, and of what lay ahead of me.

A few minutes later he came back into the house and came up beside my mother who was cradling me in her arms, rocking me to sleep. When he came in she looked up at his face and saw it streaked with tears.
“Are you ok?” she asked, getting up from her chair and moving to stand beside him so that he could look down upon my sleeping face. He didn’t answer. Instead he placed his finger near my face so that I grabbed at it and began to smile. He smiled a tearful smile, not sure whether to be happy or sad at that moment. the curse hasn’t come into effect yet. She does love me. He thought to himself and he took me from my mother and began walking around the room, talking quietly to me and helping me to go to sleep. Finally I had fallen asleep and he stood still, looking down at me smiling grimly to himself “ This world is so ugly but you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will willingly give up everything for you.” He kissed my forehead and then lay me down in my crib. My mother came up behind him and hugged him from behind.
“What was all that about?” She asked. He spun around to face her, kissed her on the forehead then asked, “Do you love her?” My mother took a long look at me, smiled then said “yes. With all my heart.” My father looked at her then sighed.
“What’s the matter?” she asked again, this time more seriously.
“A messenger came to me earlier.” A look of surprise came across her face. “She wasn’t meant to live.” He said, touching my head.
“What do you mean?”
“When she was born she wasn’t breathing. I tried to use my magic to save her but it wasn’t working. A voice told me that it wasn’t meant to be but I kept trying. I prayed to the gods to let her live then they could take anything from me, just let me keep you two and have one days happiness together. Then she started to breathe.” A look of understanding slowly began to draw across my mother’s face.
“What are the consequences?” she asked, immediately remembering what she had been told about bargaining with the gods years before.
“They have cursed me so that she will never love me, and she will never be loved by anyone else.” He looked down at his feet when he said this.
“Oh Joshua.” She whispered and held him closer. “What are we going to do?”
“I can’t stay here. If I do she will begin to hate me.” A look of horror came over my mothers face.
“Don’t leave me. Please.”
“I won’t, but I can’t stay here. I’ll move to somewhere close to here where I can keep a watch over you both but I can’t stay here.” My mother began to cry, burying her face into my fathers shirt.
“I cant do this by myself.” She cried.
“But you can. Your strong, I know you are.” He held her by the shoulders so that he could look into her eyes. “You have to be strong and if you do need me you’ll know where to find me. Ill always be close.” He held her close again and let her cry.