Sight

She couldn’t see a thing. It was eerie. Darkness enveloped her entire field of vision. The world around her was that same black velvet that was so familiar. She could not remember it ever being so dark though. Most of the things in life were just a blur but the lurid black she somehow knew as though she had lived it before.
And then with the darkness came the fear.
Why she should fear the darkness was as intangible as why it was so familiar. It was almost as if it was all a nightmarish dream, a dream from which she could never wake up. It was the dark, surrounding her, choking her. She couldn’t break free; she couldn’t breathe. A shudder wracked her body, chilling her to her core. She couldn’t remember getting to this room, the chilling surface behind her cold to the touch, raising gooseflesh on her arms. The warmth had been scourged from the room, forced away like the light had been everyday of her life.
Then she shivered as the strangest sensation rolled over her, prickling her flesh. Hands were on her, holding her chin taut in their hands. This had happened before. She was sure of it. Like a memory surfacing in the tangled knot of the past, the strangest recollection of this occurring once before wracked over her, frightening her more. And then it vanished as if it had never came.
“Just hold still, this will only take a minute.”
She attempted to turn her head to where she thought the speaker could be but found she couldn’t move either. A cold hand grasped her arm, and she unsuccessfully tried to pull it away. “Please,” the voice pleaded. “Stay still. We are only trying to help you. You’ll be as good as new.”
‘Good as new?’ Panic rose as she struggled.
“Jin honey, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid.”
Huh? That one voice sounded very familiar.
As if someone came around to open up the blinds, light stun her eyes. Pain coursed through her nerves to her head and throbbed at her temples. With a startled cry, she leaned forward, trying to shut her eyes when she realized they were already shut. She clamped a tight hand over them to stop the stinging pain but the attempt was futile. She never remembered it being so bright. What were they doing to her?
“You see?” The other voice she didn’t know replied happily. It belonged to a male. “All done! Wasn’t so bad now was it?”
“Oh Jin!” The familiar voice rose again. She identified it as her aunt. Then she felt arms around her. Strange thing was instead of seeing blurred blots and figures like she always had seen in her life; she saw faint silhouettes of them. This was all too weird. She outstretched her arms and touched around the atmosphere aimlessly.
“Give her some time to adjust.” The male said. “It’s her first time.”
What was? Where was she?
“Jin?” Her aunt called her cautiously. “Can you see me hon.? Try to open your eyes dear.”
“Ma?” She croaked. She called her aunt ma because her aunt was all she knew or remembered. She raised her and cared for her for as long as she could remember. If anyone she could trust in this room where she was now, was her Aunt Hea.
She felt a soft hand squeeze her fingers tight. “Yes, hon. It’s me. You’re not alone. I’m here. Try to open your eyes, Jin.”
“Slowly.” The male replied certainly. “Don’t rush.”
Jin took the risk. With much leisure ness, she parted a finger from her eyes one at a time. When her whole hand was off, she raised her head slightly and as gingerly as possible, fluttered one eyelid up. Bright lights immediately struck her. Trying to ignore the splitting headache she continued, spots before her eyes.
Everything was a complete blur. She could only vaguely make the slight contours of some objects but nothing solid. Dizziness washed over her and the world seemed to turn upside down. It all came to her like a blinding light. She remembered where she was and what she was doing here now. She was in the ICU and she had just got an operation done on her eyes. It wasn’t just a simple operation either. She got new eyes. Eyes to see better. Eyes to experience the world around her clearer.
She never had perfect vision. It was worse than any glasses could fix. Since birth, Jin was born almost blind. Her mom gave her up by the time she was one and a half years old to her Aunt Hea. Aunt Hea told her, that her mother felt that she didn’t have enough money to raise such a sickly girl. She couldn’t care for a child that couldn’t see half the things around her. Jin found that a little cold; that her mom took leave just like that, but never really let the anger consume her to blind rage because her aunt and uncle she lived with now showered her with unconditional love all through her childhood.
She wanted to be like other kids though, see like other kids did. Her aunt reassured her that she was special but Jin was desperate one day to find out if it was possible to get her eyes operated on. It was a long dragged out process but finally at the age of eighteen the surgery had a set date.
It was the same normal but irritating procedure at the hospital before the surgery though. Doctors pricking and prodding her everywhere, checking if everything on her was okay. That’s why she was so frantic just now, not knowing what was going on. She had been through that feeling previously.
Despite all the anxiety of being in the hospital all these times, she also found herself particularly eager to see a friend she has made in the hospital. Seung was a nine-year-old boy that she immediately became sociable with. He was bright and outgoing. His humor and witty comments always put her at ease no matter the terrifying situation. What Jin admired about him the most was his strength. Seung knew he was going to die one day because he had leukemia and the doctors couldn’t do anything about it. “That doesn’t stop me from trying to live life to the fullest”, he would always say. “That’s what’s life is all about.” Jin took that as a way of overcoming her feelings of worthlessness. She was partially blind but she wasn’t dead. One day she’ll have her sight.
Well today was that day, the start of a new life. Then why wasn’t she rejoicing? Why was the fear still there?
They must have had her on heavy anesthetic during the operation. She had seeped into some eerie and uncanny illusion. She saw her herself tied down, to what she wasn’t sure, but tied down if bounded by something. Then she heard strange hushing clatter and saw a bridge, hinges rattling loose and then a silhouette of what looked like a girl. At first she thought it was Seung but then she was positive that it was a girl. It all faded to black then.
What that meant, she didn’t know but did it really matter?
“Jin!”
Jin felt the sudden feel of tiny arms wrap around her waist. She lowered her head, locks of her hair falling haphazardly over her brow as she blindly tried to identify the person. Well, she knew the voice. Absently, she felt around the person’s face, her eyes glassy. It was Seung for sure.
“Looks like someone is here to see you.” Her aunt smiled. She couldn’t exactly see it clearly but could hear it in her voice. A tiny smile curled up her lips herself. Seung rested his head on her stomach, hugging her tight.
“Jin, how are you? How do you feel?” He asked.
“Scared.” She admitted.
“Don’t be.” Seung assured her. “You got life in your hands now.”
Jin’s eyes watered then. Her surroundings began to focus a bit. Boy was she going to have to get used to this. She lifted Seung’s head slightly and stared at him. Seung grinned. “Can ya see me?”
All the faces were hazy, distorted figures now but she could still make outlines. She could see it was a round face and she could tell the shape of his thin, slanted eyes and his tiny upturned nose. Her smile widened. “You are just as I imagined.” She whispered.
Seung beamed. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jin.” He hugged her again. The nurse came in then (the one that had been caring for Jin through out her stay) and clapped.
“Awww, how sweet!”
Aunt Hea and the doctor laughed. Seung pulled away, facing Jin happily. “Let’s take some sticker pictures later when you’ve finish resting and getting settled.” He suggested excitedly. “So you can remember this day forever!”
“Indeed, that sounds like fun.” Aunt Hea nodded. “Aren’t you lucky you got someone so nice to play with you, Jin?”
Jin shook her head. Her aunt made Jin sound like she was four years old or something; still she couldn’t help but chuckle. Everyone was excited and finally she felt anticipation shoot up her spine as well. She was so eager to see everyone. See how they looked like and see how she looked like. With out a thought, she ruffled Seung’s short hair about. “Deal.” She promised him.

Jin couldn’t stop admiring herself. Seeing was certainly believing. How could she say thank you sincerely every time her aunt or uncle complimented her beauty if she could never really see herself? Her soft hand ran another swipe with her brush through her hair again. She observed everything keenly. The way her dark, shinny black hair fell to her shoulders, the way her Korean eyes slanted slightly and how bright her brown eyes were. Her face was perfectly heart-shaped like, her nose was tiny, and her skin a copper color and the rest of her body, which was seated, now, were very skinny. She always knew she was a thin girl but not this slim. It was amazing to see herself.
This was only the third time catching a sight of herself but the first to fully analyze herself. It has been three weeks and four days she stayed in the hospital subsequent to the operation and after the first two weeks her vision was getting much better, clearer. She had the opportunity to view herself for the first time. Her aunt was there then and all Jin could do was smile, staring at the mirror in silent admiration. “Pretty aren’t you?” Her aunt had replied warmly. Jin had just nodded quietly.
Right now she was sitting at her bathroom mirror getting ready for bed. It was her first day back home and God, it felt so good to return and this time notice how her whole house looked like. She glanced at the time and hurriedly wrapped her hair in a bun. She had to wake up early tomorrow for her doctor’s appointment but her real motivation to go was to see how Seung was doing. Today he went into yet another surgery, another attempt to see if they could battle the disease. Jin sure hopped he was okay and that a miracle would happen so that Seung would be totally cured of this cancer.
A little saddened, she set her brush down with a faint sound. She washed her hands, gave her features a final glance and switched off the lights. She walked quietly down the hall not far from the rest room and opened her bedroom door. Excitement coursed through her being again as she swung it open, curious to witness her room.
Jin walked into the room. As if a dizzy spell fell over, the room began to shift. She saw doubles of the walls, one made of what looked like straw and the other of white concrete. Then the floor seemed to shift upward. The whole room twitched resembling a channel of hideous reception on the television, displaying a single old wooden brown desk by the far corner with the whole center of the room bare except for an old chair placed right in the middle. She also noticed a rope dangling from the ceiling.
‘Is this my room?’ She thought confusingly.
Nausea washed over her and she groaned, holding her hand to her mouth. She blinked rapidly then ran a hand over her eyes. The walls shifted from the doubles and the static rhythmic movement, as the white walls formed clearly now with her dresser and mirror in the corner, her bed just a few feet from it and a small desk beside the bed, a lamp standing atop. Shaking slightly, she stood at the doorway for a while until she felt she could manage her balance.
“Like your new room?”
Jin spun around to face her aunt. Aunt Hea was smiling up at her contentedly.
“I know you haven’t really ever saw it but your uncle and I rearranged it a little while you were in the hospital. I hope you like it.”
Without a word, she gazed back in the room. Still the same. White walls, bed, dresser and her lamp…Her brows narrowed in bewilderment.
“Are you okay, hon.? You look somewhat pale, dear.”
Jin didn’t answer at first. Finally she nodded slowly. “I think I had a dizzy spell. I’m not sure. I could’ve sworn the room was turning and for a moment it appeared like a small room from within one of those small village huts.”
Her aunt gazed at her in worry. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want your medication?”
“No.” Jin responded firmly but quietly. She gave Aunt Hea a tiny smile. “I’ll be fine. I probably need some sleep.” The last thing she needed was some strong medication to knock her out into a deep sleep again.
No protest came from her aunt so she must have been satisfied with that. She walked Jin into the room and approached her bed, pulling down the covers. “Okay,” She replied reluctantly. “But I’m a little worried. If it starts again tell me immediately. Make sure you mention that to Doctor Yan tomorrow when you see him.”
Jin climbed in her bed, yanking the covers up to her chin. “Will do. I’ll be okay, ma. Thanks.”
Her aunt kissed her gently on the forehead. “Get a good sleep. See you in the morning.”
“Good night. Kiss Uncle Huang for me.”
She watched Aunt Hea exit out gently with a subtle close of the door. Within a couple of minutes, Jin was fast asleep.

There were all the shadows. Too many of them and here she stood, in this unfamiliar setting, in this unfamiliar village place.
The fear returned; the absolute horror of the unknown consuming her whole. All these shadows were moaning, reaching out, grabbing hungrily at something. What? She didn’t know. There was millions of clatter, voices, and lights. Then Jin saw herself in all this as if watching herself in a film. Alarmed, she began running, feeling herself being compelled by some force. She started screaming, crying out in admonition. “Run! All of you run!”
“They never believed me…they won’t believe you.” A voice ripped through her dreams. Jin shivered, watching her surroundings come into focus. Jin was standing in a middle of a village as people bustled about her in their everyday activities but shadows were all walking behind them. She had this foreshadowing that something terrible was going to happen. These people were going to die!
“People, please!” She begged, crying out. “Sir!” She grabbed an old gentleman’s arm but he shoved her away.
“Are you not that crazy girl? Away with you, you mentally disturbed boar!”
“I saw it all coming. To them, I was just crazy. Insane. No one understood. No one.” The voice sounded distant and ghostly, intimidating Jin. She continued running, sprinting through this weird illusion as fast as she could. Blackness struck the background then and she found that the same dream she had upon waking up after her operation was re-occurring. There she stood, looking into the faint silhouette of a girl then it disappeared. Black shadows arose, thousands of them and trudged around a bridge or highway aimlessly around people honking in their cars. Jin was dashing through the twists and turns around the traffic, shrieking at them to get out there vehicles. The world was turning every other way, making her nauseous.
‘Where am I? What is this? What does this all mean?’
“Go!” The voice hissed. “Beginning at the strike of sunset…tragedy at the highway…they are in danger. You have the insight now…warn them…”

Jin woke with a start. Her whole head was spinning, sweat poured down her face and strands of her hair matted to her wet forehead. Her heart palpitating, the first thing she noticed was her room again. The center bare, rope dangling from the ceiling, the lone desk in the corner… It shifted finally, doubling back into her room with cut up, halting, rhythmic movements as if time slowed down itself. It at last settled back to normal. Without a moment’s thought, Jin hopped out of bed stumbling to her dresser. She stared into the mirror, her face gaunt, ghostly even. Her eyes were wide with fear, hollow. With shaky fingers, she brought her hand up to her face. She pressed them to her cold skin gently, aimlessly feeling about her whole features.
‘What’s wrong with me?’
She sat there quietly, musing to herself. Seconds passed that quickly turned to minutes that altered to a half an hour. She suddenly felt so fatigued then. Weakly she got up and hauled her way back to her bed. She plopped her body down lazily and sprawled across it horizontally, her feet still touching the floor. Maybe it was all side effects to her rejection pills. Maybe this was normal, this was what everyone who has perfect 20/20 vision saw and she just wasn’t adjusted to it yet. However, whatever the reason was, it didn’t take away the disturbance that was piercing her soul. She reminded herself to have a long talk with her aunt after her doctor visit and she was definitely going to complain to Doctor Yan tomorrow.
Her eyelids felt heavy and her head was throbbing harder. She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples softly. Sleepiness was getting the best of her. With all the strength she could muster inside, she crawled back in bed trying to force herself back to sleep again.

Korea Bay was filled with people, walking in and out the train station, performing their daily activities. Jin stood at the edge of the platform, waiting for the uptown train to take her to Wonsan City. Nostalgia was nagging at the back of her mind, her surroundings somewhat resembling her dream but she pushed that all aside. She didn’t want to start that again. Things this morning upon waking up seemed pretty normal. No one was home when she awoke. Her Aunt Hea took her Uncle to an appointment elsewhere. Despite her being home alone, she felt better but this fear was still prickling her being in annoyance. What will Dr. Yan say when she tells him all that she’s experiencing? Will he tell her that her new eyes were no good or that she wasn’t ready yet for this type of surgery at such a young age? She didn’t know.
Strong winds buffeted her clothes to the left and blew her hair about her whole face as a train approached the station. She tried to mat her hair back down but the attempt was futile. She pulled her sweater closer to her chest and shivered as the train pulled in at the stop. As the doors were speeding by, getting ready to slow down, she caught a glimpse of something dark in the glass reflection. Just another person…
No, not a person, a shadow! She gasped loudly, whipping her head about to see if what she saw was really there behind her. The train stopped and the doors whooshed open. There was nothing there. There was nothing behind her. It looked like a shadow of a boy. Trembling, she stepped in quickly; desperate to get away although she knew it didn’t matter where she ran, she was going to still see these things. She took a seat in the corner as the doors shut and continued on in high speed, rattling against the tracks. The bright sunlight soon changed to a lurid blackness as they entered a tunnel. Jin scowled lightly, dropping her head in her hands. She closed her eyes, trying to placate her mind. As soon as she opened them, she looked back up. Total horror racked her body as she glanced all around her. More than half the train that was filled with people just minutes ago was now replaced by dark shadows. They were all rising up leisurely, moaning restlessly, head bent low. Jin’s heart pounded hard against her rib cage as she sprang out her seat and wailed in terror, turning to run into the corner.
But the black shadow of the boy stood there.
“He is mine, Jin.” He snarled darkly. He leaped at her, hurling his body to her feet, arms outstretched to grab her or choke her. Jin screamed until she thought her lungs would burst from strain.
“Jin?”
Jin jolted up from her slouched position from the touch of a soft hand on her shoulder. She looked up startled and noticed a lot of people were staring at her. And there was no shadows to be seen anywhere. Frightened, she gazed up into the face of the person that stood over her. It was Seung’s nurse. She took care of him over night most the time. Her eyebrows and expression was masked with concern. “Hon., are you okay? You were screaming.”
The people who were staring or about to get up to help her saw that she was okay and sat down, resuming their activities prior to Jin’s episode. Ms. Yau, the nurse, took a seat next to her calmly. “It was like you were dreaming or something.” She continued. “Are you heading over to the hospital for your check up? I can bring you into the emergency room right away.”
‘Dream?’ That was all Jin was thinking. ‘Dream. Okay…it was just a dream. I simply dozed off, that’s all.’
But wait. Then did she or did she not see the shadow outside when the train was approaching? No she was wide-awake. She knew she was.
Jin noticed the nurse was still expressing her concern. “N-no.” She cut on Ms. Yau. “I’m seeing Dr. Yan. I will speak with him.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” She answered quietly, desperate to change the subject. “How’s Seung? I came also to visit him and see how he was doing. Did the surgery go okay?”
She noticed the nurse’s face fell and she gulped. Loudly. Jin eyed her confusingly. “What’s wrong?”
“Jin.” Ms. Yau faced her, her expression grim yet sympathetic. “Jin,” She began again. She rested her hand softly on top of hers. “Seung was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Before they could operate he fell into a terrible trauma. It was very bad.”
Jin could hear her heart beating in her ears. Her breathing hastened. “What happened? Is he okay?”
Ms. Yau shook her head mournfully. “Seung past away last night.”
Trembling, Jin yanked her hand from under the nurse’s. “No.” She murmured in denial. “There must be a mistake. He can’t die…”
“Jin, Seung has been sick for a long time, since birth. You, I, he and everyone else knew he’d die sometime. Unfortunately death comes so unexpectedly.”
Tears were cascading down Jin’s soft cheeks. “I-I know.” She croaked. “But…” Her voice trailed off, her body quaking. “I didn’t get to say good bye.”
Ms. Yau draped a comforting hand on her shoulders. “I’m so sorry. But you know if he had the chance he would’ve said bye. And you know he loves you. He’s watching over you right now I bet.” There was a moment of grieving silence then Ms. Yau pulled up lightly. “Oh, I almost forgot,” She said, reaching in her purse. She pulled out a large light blue envelope and handed it to Jin. “Seung wanted to give this to you when you came back. He blew up some copies. He wants you to have all these. I believe they’re the pictures you guys took.”
“Oh,” Jin forgot all about those sticker pictures. She gave way to a tiny smile. “He was going through all that and still thinking of me? He’s so sweet…”
“He is adorable. He really liked you.” Ms. Yau watched Jin unload the pictures, studying them carefully. A sudden small frown marred her features. “What’s wrong, Jin?”
Jin shook her head, befuddled. “He made another friend or something? There’s been a mix up. This isn’t me.” She was staring down at a picture with Seung all right but the girl next to him was definitely not she. The young girl in the photo had a rounded face; more rounded than the face she had, with a tiny nose, hazel eyes and dark brown hair with streaks of red-orange. Whoever this girl was she was very pretty, but it wasn’t Jin.
The nurse was staring at her in total perplexity. “What do you mean Jin? Of course that’s you.” She then chuckled softly. “Oh come now Jin, I get it now. Everyone thinks they look so different in a picture. You look fine hon. You look pretty.”
‘What is this crazy lady talking about?’ Jin thought in a panic. “N-No!” She blurted. “It’s not me at all! Look at it! I don’t have brown and auburn hair! I have dark black hair!” She grouped a couple of strands in her hand tugging at her roots. “See?”
The nurse shook her head, eyes wide in uncertainty. “Jin what are you saying? You don’t have black hair. You had brown hair like this for as long as I known you. Are you seeing something else?”
Immense alarm shot through her body as she bolted up, gazing to see her reflection at the window. There was none! She let out a terrifying yelp, clamping her hands to her face. She staggered from her seat to another young man seated next to them, observing everything in surprise. Everyone was staring at her but she could care less if they all thought she was insane. “Sir!” She cried out desperately. “What do I look like? What color is my hair? My eyes?”
The man hesitated at first, obviously too afraid to speak. Jin gripped the collars of his shirt, shaking him violently. “Please! Answer me!”
“I…Y-you have b-brown hair.” His voice quivered. “Light brown eyes…”
“No!” She denied. She tripped over her own feet, regaining her balance as she turned to another man. “It’s black! My hair! It’s black, isn’t it?”
The older man shook his head vigorously. “No ma’am. He’s right.”
‘This has to be a dream!’
“Next stop Wonsan City, Elber Ave.” The conductor blared through the speakers. “This is a Korea Bay uptown train.”
Everything was too unreal. Without a second thought, as soon as the train approached the next stop, Jin grabbed up her things and raced out, pushing through the torn of people exiting and embarking the train. Ms. Yau stood immediately, crying out to her anxiously. “Jin, wait! Where are you going? Let me go with you!”
Jin just shook her head, knowing well Ms. Yau couldn’t see that. If she was following her, Jin didn’t care because she continued to run as fast as her legs could carry her to get away from everyone and everything.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.” Someone growled as her shoulder bumped into his. Jin moved on without saying a word or glancing back. She clambered past the people climbing up the stairs to the exit and raced through.
The fresh, tart air was like a slap in Jin’s face, jarring her from her near hysteria. She fled, running harder down the streets, her throat choked with terror and sorrow. She was longing for Seung, to keep her confident and stable from all this mess. She needed to know what was going on because she knew damn well this wasn’t an illusion. It was driving her mad.
Was she insane? Was she actually going crazy?
The hospital was blocks away. But she didn’t care. She was going to run all the way over there. Determination was pushing her forward. People turned to stare, but she scarcely noticed them.
She tripped and fell, her foot catching on a hoisted pavement. She crashed to the ground and lay for a split second, her knees burning and her hands aching. Pain radiated through her body as she gasped and scrambled awkwardly to her feet. She stumbled all the way to the hospital, limping on her right leg. Upon reaching the small building, the automatic doors whizzed opened and Jin dashed in as fast as her injured foot could allow her. She threw her torso over the front desk, panting. The security guard rose in alarm.
“Ma’am?”
“Dr. Yan.” She croaked. “I need to see him…”
Everything was spinning now. God, she felt so weak. She felt as if she could throw up. Her knees felt like rubber bands and before she knew it, her field of vision was narrowing into slits. Her feet collapsed under her weight and then all was black as her body slid down the desk and crumpled to the shiny mopped floor in a heap.

“Jin.”
There she was again. Darting through the highway, hollering at people to get out their cars. Everyone was glaring up at her with that same mask of confusion and fright. The one that read, ‘She’s crazy. Take this girl away, she’s mentally insane.’
“No! You have to believe me! Get away from here!” Jin cried in desperation. “Please!”
She heard the snap of hinges. The highway ground trembled violently. People started screaming. Black shadows were lurking the streets, grabbing onto each car and reaching inside to take each person away with them.
“Jin.” The voice came again. “Jin…”
Jin’s eyelids fluttered open gradually. Lights swirled around in her head then came into focus. For a while all the white piercing her eyes were like heaven to her. For once, she felt at ease, total peace. For once she felt serenity and tranquility since her operation, since childhood. All her life this is what she dreamed of, to finally see everything clearer, to have the best vision in the world.
She opened her eyes fully then, all the pain gone. A smile curled up her lips. Seung stood over her, smiling back down at her. Happiness coursed through her body. “Seung.” She mouthed.
“Jin.” His beam grew. “I’m so glad you’re okay. You scared me for a moment, but I’m glad you’re alive.”
“Seung.” She reached up for him. He touched her hand gently. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m free, Jin. Remember I told you one day, I’ll be free of pain. I’m free, Jin, I’m free.”
“Oh Seung, I’m so happy for you…I’m so glad it’s over.”
“I’ve come to say good bye. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, but I’m here now.”
‘In person?’
“I couldn’t be taken away to the after life without saying good bye first. I love you Jin. Stay happy for me.”
‘Wait a minute…’
It arose. Surfaced again like a never-ending torture. A shiver chilled her core, racking her body with cold fear. ‘No, no, no…’
That’s when she saw it. The black shadow irked around the corner, slowly outstretching his hand to Seung’s shoulder; the same boy shadow on the train. Seung was still smiling. She wasn’t dreaming.
“No!” She wailed. The darkness gripped her tightly, choking her, suffocating her. “Seung!”
“Stay happy for me…”
“You’re not Seung!” She shrilled, her voice cracking and alien to her own ears. It rose to an incredible octave. “You can’t be! You’re dead! You died last night!”
“What ever do you mean? Of course I’m Seung.”
“No!”
“They’ve come to take me, Jin.” The dark shadow now had his shoulder locked to its hand. It yanked him back. Seung yelped, reaching out to her. “Good bye, Jin! Bye!”
The shriek that rose from deep within her lungs ascended so loud, the small lunch table in front her shuddered. She shut her eyes, screaming as if her life depended on it.
The door swung open in a hurry. Dr. Yan followed by another young nurse raced inside. “Jin!” Her doctor approached her. “What’s the matter? Are you having a relapse?”
Jin couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t talk at all. The only thing that escaped out her mouth when she opened it was another wail. She frantically shoved the table aside and lifted up the top. A mirror lay underneath as she peered through it.
The girl with the jet-black hair and thin eyes stared back at her.
“No!” Jin ripped the covers from her legs, throwing her body out of the hospital bed. The doctor grabbed her arm up.
“Please Jin, tell me what’s provoking you so?”
“I’m seeing things that’s what!” She snapped. “I demand to know what’s going on here! What did you do to me?!”
“Eh?”
“Ever since I got the surgery done I’m seeing things! Is this what the world is like? I see my room changing and shadows everywhere! I thought maybe it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me but now Ms. Yau and everyone else is telling me I have brown and red hair and light eyes when I see someone totally different! And now I’m seeing the dead! I just saw Seung! I was just talking to him and he died yesterday! What’s going on here?!”
They were both studying her like she had just grown two heads. ‘Great.’ Tears spilled down from her eyes. A sob erupted from her throat. ‘I have lost it. I am insane.’
Doctor Yan was trying to comfort her but Jin wasn’t hearing a word he was saying. Her thoughts were louder. ‘There's no point in going through this anymore. I might as well die; commit suicide. I can’t live on like this. I went through enough already. I don’t need the world to treat me like some psycho now.’
Her thoughts were cut short so abruptly it almost scared herself once more. The unexpected image of the silhouette of the female she kept seeing in her dreams flashed through her mind and was gone. Mouth agape, she lifted her head cautiously from the melancholy state she was drifting into just now, her hair falling about her face loosely. Her eyes were sharp as she spotted another shadow trudging through the hallway. It pointed towards an area and then disappeared around the corner. She craned her neck to see. It was a closed door that she knew contained filed information of patients.
“Dr. Yan…” she trailed off. The young doctor stopped talking and glanced at her expectedly.
“Jin?”
She didn’t know why this was pounded in her head but she knew it had to be for a linked reason. “My donor…” She whispered. “You told me it was a girl, am I right?”
“Why yes. What is it?”
“I want her file.” Jin responded firmly but quietly. “I want to know about her. Do you know anything?”
The nurse eyed the doctor worriedly. Dr. Yan creased his eyebrows quizzically and shook his head, scratching his chin. “No not really. I know that it took an extremely long time to find someone that would I could match you up with due to your specific need. We did a lot of tests. She was the only one. I know a doctor in Indonesia that knows her. That was where she was raised and died.”
“What happened with her?” Jin asked with a tremor.
“It lists her death as suicide. That was years ago. The village she lived in and her family decided to donate different parts of her body that were still good.”
“Village?” Jin drew in a sharp breath. “Why did she kill herself?”
“I don’t know. I can call the doctor and maybe have me fax some stuff. But Jin, please. I don’t want you worrying yourself with any of this. What you are experiencing due to the operation I have to find out. I’m very worried about you. However, I can definitely assure you it has nothing to do with the donor.”
“I must know her name.” Jin totally disregarded his remark. “Please.”
“I can not remember that now. We get too many donors here plus my main duty is to care for my patients. Like you.” He turned to face his assistant. “Nurse, please fetch the medication I dropped off outside on my desk.” She nodded and went out the room as Dr. Yan helped Jin up to her bed again. “I need you to get some rest.”
Jin didn’t protest. She was too busy figuring out how she could find something on her donor. “Doctor, do you think you can call my aunt for me?”
“Oh yes. I did call to tell her what happen. She said to hang on; she’s dropping your uncle off back home and then coming right over. She said it might take her a while because they’re doing construction on the road she usually takes to get here so she’s going to have to take the longer way on the highway. I’ll be back with your charts. The nurse will be with you shortly.”
“Okay.” Jin waited until the doctor was completely gone from sight and hopped out of bed. Quickly, before the nurse could return, she slipped out the room and down the hall to the door that the shadow had pointed to, praying it wasn’t locked. She gave the knob a cogent tug. It was. Cursing silently in her head, she edged around to see if she could find Dr. Yan’s office. The door was wide open. She made a dash for it and crept in, making sure no one was inside. The coast clear, she shut the door gingerly and went to his desk. Like a mad woman, she yanked it open, tearing through file after file. He had to have her chart somewhere.
Bingo. She landed on it under her last name. She pulled it out and flipped the cover open, scanning through her papers. Name, Address, Phone, Hair, Eye Color, Weight…
Hair! Eye color! She stared at the information, rocking back and forth on her knees anxiously. Eye color: hazel, Hair: Auburn.
“Oh my gosh…”
So they weren’t lying. She read on, stumbling upon her transfer folder. Certainly they would have information here.
As if the papers were on command, a few fluttered out landing at her feet. She picked them up, hesitantly. It was a copy of part of a death certificate.
Donor: Rina Sujatmi
Birth Place: Parepare, Indonesia
Cause of Death: Suicide
Time/ Date/ Year: 5:43 a.m., September 12, 1996
That was 5 years ago. Desperate to know more Jin searched wildly for a key. She needed to get into that room. She came up empty. Hopeless, she hauled herself to her feet, trying to figure out another way. She made her way to the computer desk and sat, blinking at the screen, trying to see her reflection.
There was none. Just like on the train.
She knew for a certain that something was terribly wrong and it wasn’t her going crazy. Jin clicked to the Internet server and typed in Parepare, Indonesia 1996. The search came up with tons of websites but none that struck her as odd. Jin continued to scroll down when her eye fixed on a link. “Small village in Parepare, Indonesia is burned (1996) more coverage detail…” She clicked on it eagerly, tapping her feet nervously together. She began to read the article that popped up.
‘Small village fire in Parepare Indonesia, September 10th 1996, killed more than 2,000 villagers and wounded 300 more. Government officials investigated later that the disaster might have been a vicious terrorist attack on Indonesia…’
She noticed there were sub articles within the main one and the last listed was the one that caught her eye instantly. “Village girl predicts misfortune: Survivor speaks out.”
Her heart pounding in her ears, Jin cautiously clicked on it and found the following.
‘Sixteen year old village girl, by the name of Rina, was found dead two days after tragic burning in local area. Survivor speaks out: “It was very strange,” He said. “The girl claimed she could see things before they happened. She’s been claiming this several times before too. She told her family that when she saw a shadow she knew someone was going to die. They were there to take away the soul. No one ever believed her. People today still think it’s a legend. I was only one of the very few to witness and stand here to report it today.” Later sources say upon finding a suicide note on the young girl’s desk, that described how no one ever believed her and her own family dismissed her, planning to send her to an asylum, Rina Sujatmi hung herself in her bedroom. The last line in her note read: “The world is cold. I rather be blind or dead than have insight on everything…”’
The uncanniest feeling fell over Jin, a nag tugging at the back of her mind. The next few minutes happened so quick she couldn’t register it in her brain properly. She scrolled down the screen to see a tiny picture of Rina’s room and a picture of her. The room was bare, like the image she witnesses shifting in her bedroom.
And the girl.
Rina.
Jet black hair, dark eyes, and copper skin…
Jin ripped her hand away from the computer mouse so abrupt that you’d think it’d explode. The papers scattered to the ground in disarray. The cold sliced through her body and for a while she stopped breathing.
It all made sense now. The inexplicable room shift she witnessed was Rina’s room, the face she saw staring back at her every time she looked into the mirror…
Everything was through this girl’s eyes.
The voice resonated in her head again. “No one would ever believe what I was seeing…”
The sun was setting outside. The constant nag was penetrating deeper. What was it? She felt like she was supposed to be doing something, saying something. But what was it?
Jin gazed into the computer screen and too her shocking horror her reflection was there now, which was really Rina’s but she noticed her eyeballs at the other side of the glass had moved down to close her eyes and Jin didn’t even move. It disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.
“Jin…”
Jin spun around. Rina stood at the corner, her hair hanging, masking her whole face like a curtain. Her skinny arms dangled at her side and the rags she wore were ripped, leaning loosely in unison with the left tilt of her body. Without moving, she outstretched her long arm out, ready to take hold of her.
Jin screamed and leaped from the desk, dodging her. Another shriek exploded from her lips when she twisted back around and nothing was there. She banged into the door, climbing over mountains of papers and folders as she yanked on the doorknob. It gave way with a thrust, Jin falling over the threshold and smacking onto the floor.
More pain.
More fear.
She scurried to her feet. Sprinting forward, not certain of where exactly she was heading, she eluded a mop bucket and a yellow placard that read, ‘Caution: Wet Floors’ in three languages until she reached the hospital doors. She could already see outside, shadows trekking towards the near by highway, moaning, hissing urgently.
“She said it might take her a while because they’re doing construction on the road she usually takes to get here so she’s going to have to take the longer way on the highway…”
“…Suicide note on the young girl’s desk, that described how no one ever believed her and her own family dismissed her, planning to send her to an asylum, Rina Sujatmi hung herself in her bedroom…”
“I rather be blind or dead than have insight on everything…”
“…When she saw a shadow she knew someone was going to die. They were there to take away the soul.”
Realization. Nothing but cold, wretched realization.
“No…” Jin whispered.
Her pupils dilated as she stared up at the sky. The sun had disappeared completely over the horizon.
“Beginning at the strike of sunset…tragedy at the highway…”
She rushed outside. “No, no, no, no…”
Aunt Hea.
From afar, sirens were piercing the evening air like a sharp talon. It ripped right through her, sliced her heart and tore her to pieces.
“No, God. Please, no.”
The bridge linking to the highway was tilted. Cars were crashed into one another; thick black smoke and flames were ascending up the ambiance in thickening darkness.
“Accident at the Hamhung Highway! Accident at the Hamhung Highway!” Police cars were swarming everywhere. “Get more ETS here!”
Ambulance trucks were roaring by from the hospital to the scene. Unable to take it all in, Jin fell to her knees. Her cell phone dropped to the concrete with a ‘clank’ from her belt pocket. The amount of shock paralyzed her, enabling her to curse, cry or scream.
Terrifyingly, the blue light on her phone snapped on out of nowhere. The voice that spoke on the other end sounded all too familiar. The one she heard in all her dreams.
“Why did you ignore your calling?” It whispered, breathing ghostly into the receiver. Tears welled up in Jin’s eyes; they rolled over and fell down her cheeks. “Your aunt goes with the shadows now…”
Too much. Too much pain. Too much horror. Small shadows of two children that had ran past her to see the calamity afar, were anchoring towards the city. She could do nothing but tremble violently.
“Anju’s playground tomorrow…” The voice continued to drone out. “Tragedy strikes at noon…”