Mr. Pea and the Chicken Pot Pie

One lovely Friday morning Mr. Pea was relaxing in his hot tub, made from a measuring cup, drinking a glass of water (peas have to drink too, you know) when all of a sudden the Evil Lunch Lady’s hand came in and grabbed him! He was thrown in a frozen chicken pot pie. When the Evil Lunch Lady turned around, he hopped out of the pie and tried to escape. The Evil Lunch Lady turned around and thought that a running pea was an incredible sight, and thought she was losing her mind. She caught Mr. Pea and threw him back in the pie, put the pie in the oven, and slammed the oven door. The sound of this slam resonated for quite a while, not to mention it gave Mr. Pea a pretty bad headache. Mr. Pea’s conscience told him to find a way to get out, but he couldn’t for a few minutes because of his headache, but when he felt the oven getting hot, he stepped on it! He really hoped that many of the students weren’t omnivores and might not get the chicken pot pie, but he doubted that for he had once read a biography of a man who was an herbivore, and he said that he was the only one in his neighborhood. Mr. Pea was known as a very brave and credible person, and so that he could keep up this great reputation, Mr. Pea had to get himself out of this pie. So, he set off looking for all the other peas, carrots, green beans, and other vegetables so that they could all team up and get themselves out. He went around the pie 4 times before this task was finished, and by then, the pie was pretty hot. He then separated all the vegetables into groups and had a meeting. It took a while for him to get their attention, for they were singing songs that sounded like this: “I’m a nut, (clap clap) I’m a nut, (clap clap) I’m a nut, I’m a nut, I’m a nut (clap clap). Called myself up on the phone, just to see if I was home. Asked myself out on a date, said be ready ‘bout half past eight. I’m a nut (clap clap), in a rut (clap clap), and I’m craaaaaazy.” When he finally got their attention, he told them the situation, and they all gasped and cried out, “Oh no!” in fright. He told them not to fear for he was here to dictate and then walk them through the escape plan. They all gave a sigh of relief and he went on. All of a sudden, a piece of chicken came behind him, and someone yelled, “Of no!!! It’s the evil chicken, everybody run! Ahhhhhh!” Mr. Pea jerked around and saw a huge piece of chicken with a big mouth and razor sharp teeth. This really was evil chicken, for when it got hot, it became alive and went after the vegetables. These pieces of chicken were thought of as omnipotent, but Mr. Pea knew exactly what to do to get rid of them, if he had the time.

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Meanwhile, the Giant Evil Lunch Lady was watching the news trying to calm herself from the shock she had gotten by seeing a pea skitter across the counter. She was watching the news which was talking about theocracies in different places and a murder that had happened just the other night.

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Mr. Pea’s idea was to have all the vegetables jump towards one side of the pie, causing the pie to lurch in the oven. This would get the Giant Evil Lunch Lady’s attention and she would think it was done. She would then take the pie out of the oven, and set it on a countertop to cool. Then they would sneak out of the pie one by one and return to safety. So, they set to work. All the vegetables lurched on the count of three, and after two or three pushes, they heard the oven door open. “Running peas, jumping chicken pot pies? What’s next, evil chicken? I really need to get myself to a shrink,” they heard the Giant Evil Lunch Lady muttering. She set it on a table to cool and left the room. Mr. Pea stuck his head out to see if the coast was clear, when suddenly a rush of children filled the room, and the pie that Mr. Pea was in was picked up by a small girl with long brown hair and blue eyes. Mr. Pea saw so many different children, he couldn’t keep track of any of them. There were children which looked like they studied a lot and were carrying books like dictionaries, and geography, biology, science, theology, and geometry text books. Some children looked like the were fairly active in sports, and carried around soccer balls, basket balls, and base balls, while others looked apathetic about academics, and carried around Game Boys. Even others looked interested in acting and carried around a script, but this was pretty atypical for only a few looked like this. The girl took off the top layer of the pie to let it cool, and saw all the vegetables running around like crazy, for after they had gotten out of the oven, the chicken had started to chase them again. She screamed and threw the pie into the air. Mr. Pea jumped out while the pie was still in the air and used his parachute that he had bought along to land safely. He sprinted to his house, got inside, slammed the door shut, and gave a huge sigh of relief. Then he got back in his hot tub to relax after a long, hard day.

The End