A Mother's Essay: Pets and Children

A Mother’s Essay: Concerning Pets and Children

My loving husband came home from work the other day expressing sweet, genuine concern about our being Empty Nesters, and the effect it seemed to be having on me. He asked me if I thought we should get a dog. He mentioned that he preferred big dogs, like German Shepherds.

The Short Answer:

NO!

The Long Answer:

I have delivered, nursed, cared for, and spent the last 25 years raising four children. The only thing worse than obligating oneself to raising children, in my opinion is owning, raising, training, and caring for any kind of a pet, after all, unlike children, pets never grow up and leave home. The legal responsibility for children does technically end at eighteen in regards to children, but a majority of parents continue to blame themselves for the rest of their natural lives for things they never imagined, and children learn young and quick to use this parental quilt to their advantage for the rest of their natural lives, too.

Only If Someone Had Told Me.

Think about the responsibility of having either a child or a pet. Think about how either will impact your life style. Do you really want to inflict this kind of financial, legal, and moral liability on yourself?

Then there are also the vanity issues of owning a pedigreed dog or cat. Recently there was an article that expounded on the growing fad of owning mutts by celebrities. Of course nobody is thinking about the fact that celebrities employ dog walkers, and other people to care for their pets that these celebrities sometimes purchased on a whim. While movie and video stars are out filming and touring, their servants are dealing with all the latest Pooper Scooper gadgets.

The fact that stars of any magnitude are buying mutts as pets will surely add to the real dollar cost of such animals for us commoners. And no doubt, people will flock to acquire these previously rejected darlings, who were owned and then abandoned by good intentioned people who gave little or no thought to the emotional and financial cost of pet ownership.

Now, you are asking me to seriously consider bringing a potentially traumatized little darling pet into our life. Good decision.

Let me share with you the reality of how much having a pet is like having a child.

Pets and children eat four or more times a day and urinate and defecate at least that often. As pets and children grow they eat more and therefore urinate and defecate more. Unless both are well house trained, the mess they make just gets bigger. Do I need to explain in excruciating detail?

Each can develop serious annoying personality disorders, and you, as pet owners or parents, can be charged with criminal offenses if it is discovered that you are the responsible party for either the pet or child. Dogs bark and children cry excessively and loud when left alone for extended periods of time. Both can develop separation anxiety which causes other types of attention getting behaviors to emerge that can result in your being late for work or having to pay for home and furniture repairs.

Traveling with either, pet or child is also more expensive than traveling alone, and often restricts access to certain activities. Not too many fine dinning establishments welcome animals or children with open arms, generally neither do most antique shops, some site seeing tours, and nightly adult bars that serve alcoholic beverages. Both pets and children are known to get uncontrollable without notice. Will ours be any better behaved than most?

Is our carpet green? Does our house contain enough square footage to accommodate pets that like to herd or hunt, and prefer wide-open spaces? If you are considering raising a large number of pets, this is also something to be considered. They do have a way of multipling, too. Do you have the space? Children tend to provide a little more warning before their arrival, but can also arrive in multiples as well.

Do you like tropical environments? Or, do you prefer the artic sun that only teases you with remembrances of warmth? Well, don’t expect pets that are bred to live in specific environments to adapt to yours if there are too many extreme differences. Everything from the type of climate in your state is a factor when considering getting a specific type of pet. Children are a little more adaptable to climate and enviornment, generally speaking.

If you live in a rented apartment, condominium, or house, does your contract allow pets, or does it just charge you a typically non-refundable pet deposit? There are communities that do not allow children, either. Unless you’re ready to uproot yourself from your familiar surroundings, check your residential contract agreements regarding having pets or children, whichever the case may be. It might serve you well to check with your local city zoning commission about any restrictions concerning the size and number of animals permitted. As of this writing, I am unaware of any zoning laws in the United States restricting the number of children, except in privately developed communities as previously mentioned.

How much extra free time do you have? Most dogs and children need discipline. While experts best handle training or discipline, it very often falls on pet’s owner or the parents. Obedience training benefits all parties involved: owners, pets, parents, and children. Well trained and socialized pets and children means that everybody knows what is expected, and also makes home have a happier and healthier environment for everybody concerned.

Usually pets, like dogs and even cats, can require professional grooming. In addition to environment, which was discussed earlier, you will need to realize that dogs and cats with a long, thick coat needs more care than dogs and cats with short, thin coats. Temperament is another important consideration. Does your pet or child like taking a regular bath? Or will you end up with enough first hand experience to write your own Great Escape novel? Of course, you could consider all the soap bubbles scattered throughout your house on a regular basis to be similar to a pre-wash soak for the carpet cleaner man, who you will need frequently.

Are any of you still reaching for some kind of justification to put yourself through the self-imposed torment of having pets or children?

And when it comes to yourself, your spouse, and your children and pets it is important and necessary to remember the all important financial matters like, food, medicine, and regular health care visits for immunizations for both the pet and child. All these things cost money, and I haven’t even covered entertainment, toys, or Christmas.

Why Would Anybody Want a Pet or Child?

I did, before I had all four of mine. Then realized too late that you can't change your mind, ever.

I love my all my children. I even loved most of the mutts, bugs, and insects that each dragged home over the years. There was no consideration of space, environment, or finances. Pets and children seem to be a natural fit. We all have seen movies like Lassie, and Old Yeller.

Pets do provide companionship, but they don’t replace the companionship of people.

Dogs and cats can be protective and sociable additions to a family. In my opinion, dogs are more sporting than cats, and more willing to accompany a child on a walk in the woods, or in my case the swamp, but so can older brothers and sisters, too. There is nothing more heart breaking than watching a child lose a loved pet. I have done that too. Time and time again. It is all part of growing up and accepting what life gives you, and learning how to deal with it.

No, I don’t want a pet. Luckily I don’t need a guide dog or a trained monkey, yet either. Thank God.

As much as I miss my children and all the daily activity, I really don’t want my children to return home. Their grown, and it is time for them to fly from the coop, build their own nest, and clean up their own mess. As for me…

I will write. I will remember, and I will be glad that I didn’t have to be worried about all the extra stuff young people do today, while I was raising my children and their pets.

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