Darkness

I feel a change in me,
feeling as though I am losing all control.
Everything crashing down around me.
Something taking over,
monsters awakening within.
Like a storm over the horizen,
slowly concealing my mind in black.
The darkness closing in.

Flowing all around me,
filled with dread and paranoia,
as this impending doom draws near.
Consumed by terror,
I'm surrounded.
Cornered and suffocating,
feeling as though all my sanity is wasting away.
Should I let it take me?
And just let go,
surrendering to the madness.
Should I give up and give in?
Or should I wage war against the nightmare?
Fight the growing rage inside me...

Will I become lost in the struggle?
Lost in my inner conflict,
this fight for redemption.
Is redemption so important?
Why not extend open arms to my sins?
To just accept and regret,
and let fate guide me.

Why do I will myself to stand against it?
Is there anything here for me?
Anything I need?
Something to hold on to?
I fight and yet I have nothing...
So why do I resist?
When I can embrace the horrors lying dormant.
And fade away,
vanishing into the abyss that is my past...

To fight is futile.
Gving up would be catastophic.
To live is not acceptable.
Submitting would be a disappointment.
Should I choose life and hardship?
My eternal misery.
Should I choose death and ease?
My eternal slumber.

My only chance,
the only hope I have left...
To keep others from harm...
The only way...