Dreamer

The vats of blood were changed everyday and the blood was pumped about constantly, so it wouldn’t congeal.

This was the favorite place of all the town’s children because they had no swimming hole or gentle river. Plus, when they swam here, they got free jerky.

Their parents couldn’t have been happier with the arrangement. It meant that during the summer they could keep an eye on their children without hiring a babysitter, though a portion of their salary did go to the lifeguards.

Audrey typed away for another half an hour. She had to at least get her ideas down, revision would come later.

This was it; she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She ran to the bathroom and peed for nearly thirty seconds, moaning as she finally let go. Audrey finished, sighed, and, after washing her hands left the room.

Down to the kitchen she went to get a glass of ice tea. Sipping it, she considered other works she had written. Published in numerous literary journals and the author of a published collection of short stories, she was often asked by the students in her class where she got her inspiration.

She told them it came to her in dreams, which was the truth, just not the entire truth. The only dreams she remembered were those she had when she was in a light sleep. Over the years Audrey had experimented and come up with several methods to ensure that she experienced this semi-conscious state. The best method she had found so far was drinking a large glass of water or tea before going to sleep. Her body slowly brought her back to consciousness as the need to empty itself grew.

Smiling, Audrey ran her hand through her gray-streaked brown hair. At fifty-eight she lived in a neighborhood of duplexes where the minimum age was fifty if you wanted to live there permanently. Audrey’s favorite pastime was watching the people in her neighborhood as they went about their daily businesses. She knew who golfed at six in the morning and napped in a hammock in the afternoon. The women did what all women did; they passed idle gossip as they passed on the street.

Audrey worked to be one of these women on the street. Not only was it good for her physical health, but what people mentioned not only often brought a smile to her face, but also ended up in her work. Audrey always said she had two jobs, writing and teaching high school English.

Neither paid extravagantly, but both made her happy. She was content to wear jeans that were faded at the knees from gardening and, recently, had stains from her attempts to fix her lawn mower. She liked dark blues and greens because they always went well with jeans and her hazel eyes. Dreamer’s eyes, her husband had called them back when they were courting. She hadn’t had contact with him since the last of the court bills had been paid. No children for Audrey, no sir. They were fun to play with and talk to but she had never felt the need for one or two to call her own. Besides, she had her sister and her kids nearby.

She was interrupted from her pleasant non-thoughts by a knock at the door.

“Excuse me, is anybody home?” a man’s voice called from outside.

He sounded too young to live in her neighborhood, thought Audrey. She walked to the door and opened it to find a policeman who looked to be in his mid-twenties standing on her step. He started at the sight of her door opening, his hand raised to knock again.

“Um, excuse me ma’am. I’m here because of a complaint filed by your neighbor,” he started, not looking comfortable at all as he brushed his hand along his crew cut blonde hair and his fought to stay on Audrey’s.

“Complaint?” asked Audrey, raising an elegant eyebrow and causing the young man to blush.

If I was thirty years younger I might think he had a crush on me, she thought, both amused and confused.

“Yes, it, um, well seems that you make loud noises that your neighbor has called the police to complain about,” he started.

“What kind of noises?” asked Audrey. The young man definitely didn’t want her to ask this question. His green eyes slipped off her’s and looked into the house for a moment before he looked at her again.

“Uh-hmm,” he cleared his throat and paused as though hoping Audrey would forget she had asked and ask him another question.

A moment of silence passed.

“Why don’t you sit down on the patio chairs and tell me?” asked Audrey, mentally noting all of his actions, from his fingers fidgeting on his pant legs to his heel twisting silently on the wood of the porch beneath him.

They sat down on the chairs and the officer started talking again. “First, I must apologize for not telling you my name. I am Officer Carson, but you can call me Ty if you like.”

Audrey continued to sit quietly and stare at him, clearly showing that she wanted him to get to the point.

“Well, the specific complaint was about noises of a, um, sexual nature,” said Ty, as Audrey now thought of him.

Audrey gaped at him.

Ty continued, “At first your neighbor, the one who shares the duplex with you, Ms. Noble, thought she was perhaps hearing unwanted computer ads popping up on your computer. She mentioned that when she first moved in two weeks ago, you showed the paper in the main neighborhood office that shows the layouts of your shared house. Since you said your computer is against the wall your office shares with her bedroom, this seemed logical to her.”

“So that’s why she asked me if I would turn down the volume on my computer,” Audrey mused out loud.

“So it would seem. Ms. Noble continued to hear the noises after she spoke to you and at about two o’clock in the morning this Wednesday realized that the sounds coming from your duplex sounded like you.”

“Why would she think these noises I was making were sexual in nature?” asked Audrey, truly interested. She didn’t even remember being in the office on Wednesday morning.

“Umm, she described the moans as ‘low and guttural’ with ‘more than a hint of pleasure’,” offered Ty, turning red. “She also mentioned you chanting, ‘Just a little longer’, ‘Oh, God, come on’, and yelling ‘Yes, finally!’ at various, um, sessions.”

Audrey couldn’t help herself; she burst out laughing. This was great, just great. He probably thought she was going into hysterics, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. It was true she had said those things, but always when she was typing, frantically trying to outlast her bladder.

Tears leaked out of Audrey’s eyes as she laughed, but slowly managed to regain her composure. Ty was looking as though he would rather be running naked down Main St., followed by a pack of rabid wolves. His ears were completely red, fascinating Audrey.

When he sensed Audrey was relatively calm and somewhat sane again, Ty ran his hand over his hair again and said, “I’m here to serve you a ticket for disturbing the peace and lewd conduct.”

At that Audrey looked him right in the eye and said, “Is there any way I can convince you that Ms. Noble is mistaken, or do I have to take it up with the court?”

“Um, well, if you can prove that you didn’t make the noises, then I will have no reason to ticket you,” said Ty.

“Well, I’ll tell you my side of the story then, and we can have a look inside my house.”

“As you wish,” said Ty.

Audrey explained to Ty that she had made those noises while typing, leaving out the bathroom part, and that they had nothing to do with sex.

“Well, I hope that’s the case,” said Ty as they stood up to go in Audrey’s house.

“You do?” Audrey asked, sensing the reason wasn’t the ticket and court time he would be forced to give otherwise.

“Yes. You know, you kind of remind me of my mother,” Ty said as they walked up the stairs.

“And you’re hoping your mother is celibate?” asked Audrey over her shoulder.

“Wh-what?! No! I mean, she is almost sixty so I would assume…”

“Kid, she’s older, not dead. I’m not dead either. I’m just saying I don’t go in my office and have sex at night.”

Ty blushed a dark crimson and decided it would be prudent to keep his mouth shut. He was going to have nightmares tonight.

The two walked into Audrey’s office and Ty proceeded to look up her history on Internet Explorer.

“Find anything suspicious?” asked Audrey, torn between pity and laughter.

“Hrm, no. Now I would like to check your Word files, if you don’t mind.”

Audrey hesitated at this. She hated it when others read her work before she finished. Add to that the fact that she had been experimenting with surrealism and she definitely knew that she might begin to feel truly awkward for the first time tonight. What would Ty think of a half finished story where the townspeople let their children swim in the slaughterhouse while the parents worked there?

Time to find out, Audrey thought, resigned. She wanted to avoid this court date.

“Sure, go right ahead. I don’t think I have any passwords.”

Ty looked over the files, skimming over a few. He made a couple of nervous glances at Audrey, fortunately Audrey had found a spot on the wall that was unusually interesting.

Finally, after noticing an absence of clicking, Audrey looked at Ty. He was reading the swimming story.

“I’ve been experimenting with surrealism,” she started to explain. “It’s when you juxtapose an action and a place that usually don’t go together. I’m new to it, so I usually just make it up as I go along. Actually, I think the swim meet with the neighboring town is kind of funny…”

Ty was staring at her and Audrey stopped talking, realizing she had given a short speech.

“Um, I’m going to search your hard drive now if it’s okay with you,” said Ty.

“Search for wha…oh, right, porn.”

Audrey regained her composure and was silent until Ty finished looking. Finally, he turned to her and said, “I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but you need to try and control your outbursts.”

“Thank you, Ty. Say hi to your mother for me,” said Audrey.

Ty grimaced and then managed a weak smile, but didn’t respond.

“Do you want a drink before you leave?” asked Audrey.

At this Ty really grinned, sensing Audrey was trying to make peace, much the way his mom did. “Sure, if you have something with sugar or caffeine in it, I would be ecstatic. Computers make me a little tired,” he admitted.

After that Audrey ushered the young man out of her house and wished him well.

Shutting the door, Audrey knew she had to think of a way to get back at Ms. Noble. As much fun as the evening had been, Audrey had a rule against people who exposed her work prematurely. They must pay. Thinking this, Audrey decided she needed to go to bed early and went to get a glass of water.

In the morning she had her idea. She invited Ms. Noble, known to Audrey as Mary, over for a lunch saying that she was “sorry Mary had to go to all that trouble, calling the police”. Mary had accepted when Audrey had assured her that she was shocked that Mary had interpreted the remarks as sexual and wanted to allay her fears.

Punctual Mary arrived at almost precisely eleven for their luncheon. She rang the doorbell and heard Audrey hurrying about her house. While waiting she lightly fluffed her meticulously curled blonde hair and made a mental note to paint her nails that afternoon. Gray-green eyes looked over the porch then returned to the door as she raised her hand, preparing to knock again.

Abruptly the door was opened and there Audrey stood, looking flushed, with her too-big shirt partially tucked in.

“Come in, come in,” greeted Audrey enthusiastically.

Mary stepped through the door and began removing her shoes so as not to scuff the wood floor. She glanced around, instinctively comparing her home to Audrey’s. She paused and barely managed to hold back a gasp when she saw what was on her host’s small table in the foyer.

It was a sex toy, she was sure of it. It was shaped like, she couldn’t stand to think it. There was the on and off switch even. It was housed in plain plastic that one could see through. Mary stared at it a moment longer and worked to convince herself it was just one of those new age phones her daughter had had when she was in college.

Audrey, acting as though she had just realized Mary had paused, looked back and asked, “Is something wrong?”

Mary recovered, “No, I was just, um, admiring the paint you chose for this room.”

“Well I do have a fondness for eggshell white,” said Audrey, her face straight. “Lunch is almost ready. Would you mind coming into the kitchen while we wait?”

Mary agreed and they walked into the kitchen.

“Oh my, I must have forgotten to put away the groceries I bought yesterday,” exclaimed Audrey, walking towards a brown paper bag on her counter.

Mary watched as Audrey pulled trio of cucumbers and a large bottle of lotion. Feeling one cucumber after another, squeezing them in her palm, Audrey seemed oblivious to Mary’s presence.

“Eh-hem,” coughed Mary after a moment. Audrey paused from her thorough inspection of the cucumbers.

“Sorry,” said Audrey and looked chagrined. “These are just the firmest cucumbers that I have ever felt. Wanna touch?”

After Mary shook her head, Audrey said, “Better put these away; lunch will be ready soon. We’re having spaghetti and meatballs.”

With that Audrey walked out of the room with cucumbers and lotion in hand. Mary sat motionless at the table as Audrey walked upstairs where only the two bedrooms and office were.

Soon Audrey came down again with her shirt even more mussed. The two had a quiet meal, making polite conversation. Audrey apologized for the confusion and making Mary feel so uncomfortable.

“I simply can’t imagine what that conversation with the police would have sounded like,” Audrey said after she promised she would be less enthusiastic about her writing from then on. Mary was ready to change topics and quickly began to discuss her azaleas.

Towards the end of their meal, the sound of footsteps could be heard overhead, then coming down the stairs.

Mary looked at the base of the steps, curious about whom it could be. She saw it was a man of about thirty with mussed brown hair who, for some reason, was walking around without a shirt.

“Aud, honey, I think you’re wearing my shirt,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Oh,” Audrey made a pointed glance to her left and the man appeared to suddenly notice Mary.

He shuffled and smiled, not meeting Mary’s eyes. Mary had had enough.

“I really must be going,” she said, sucking in a breath and putting her shoulders up and back. “If you invited me over here to prove you are not some sex-crazed woman, you have failed. And if you are trying to rub in my face the fact that you got away without a ticket, think about this. The next time I hear so much as a peep from your side of the wall, I will have the police over. Not only that, but I will ensure that the homeowner’s association asks you to leave.”

With a “humph”, Mary turned and left. The door snapped shut smartly behind her.

Audrey looked at the young man who was still standing next to her. “I have to say, nephew, that you were the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“And I have to say that she looks quite constipated when she is indignant,” replied Audrey’s nephew.

With that they began to laugh.