For Writer's Cramp

“Waiter, there’s a kernel of corn in my soup!”

I looked over at the table next to me and raised my eyebrows, she was complaining about a measly kernel of corn? It seemed to be a pitiful reason to make such a fuss, but then looking at her over the top outfit, perfectly styled hair and annoyed expression on her face, I could see that she wasn’t going to let this go easily.

The waiter that had been serving both of us edged around the tables in answer to her call as she tapped her foot impatiently. “I’m sorry Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

She raised her chin with a haughty look, managing to look down her nose at him while she was seated. “There is a kernel of corn in my soup! See,” she fished around in the bowl with her spoon and pulled out the offending item, “one kernel of corn. I’ve come to expect better of Chenille’s.”

“I’m extremely sorry ma’am; Chenille’s has never had such a thing occur before. We pride ourselves on out cleanliness and meticulous care of each item on our menu. Indeed tonight’s chef is Chenille herself who has world wide acclaim for her skills, so I don’t know how such a thing could have occurred. Please allow me to get you a fresh bowl of soup and offcourse tonight’s meal is on the house. We sincerely hope that this accident will not be how you remember Chenille’s and that you return sometime in the future.”

I could tell he was desperate to right the error and preserve what could be a valuable customer. However she had been shaking her head the whole time he was talking, obviously not impressed with what he had to say. Perhaps she was more important than I had originally thought and she was some kind of food critic. It was the only reason I could believe for her continued disapproval.

“I think you’ve failed to realise the problem here, I ordered chicken and corn soup, I want to know why there’s so little corn!”

Both of them looked over at me in astonishment as I scoffed loudly at the whole situation.