Forever Lost

I can’t look in the mirror
For fear of what I’ll see-
The reflection of a worthless girl
Staring back at me.
Jesus said love everyone-
Am I included too?
I do not see how anyone
Could love me as you do.
I have nothing to offer-
Not perfect, though I try,
But every time I let you down,
Leading to my question, “Why?”
Why do you say you love me?
I feel broken and alone.
I hate myself in every way,
Yet compassion is all you’ve shown.
How can you look upon me
As if I’ve done no wrong?
I can’t be in your presence-
Send me to hell where I belong!
I’ll never look you in the eye
Because I feel such shame.
My spot in Heaven- forever lost,
And I’m the one to blame.
Now as my heart begins to cry,
My pillow becomes wet,
Until I finally fall asleep
And these hellish thoughts forget.