Writing Love Letters

Writing Love Letters

Another Reason To Truly Know Your Partner on the Inside

         A good friend here at Writing.Com recently suggested I take the column from my last Romance/Love newsletter and make it a static item so that others could continue to make use of its ideas in their relationship. There was no way I was going to turn down a suggestion that came with that kind of compliment So, whatawriter, thanks for the compliment, and the wonderful idea. I agree with you. So here it is, for all to enjoy and use in enriching their relationship.



         Since no two people are alike in this world, no two relationships will be the same either. That means any guidelines I might give here will have to be general ones, with each person who is writing a love letter using those guidelines simply to help them refine their own words, emotions, etc. to say exactly what they want to say to that special someone. So, here we go.

         The obvious one. The theme of love letters since the dawn of time. Make no bones about telling that special person how much they mean to you, how important they are in your life. Note that this can be done in many ways. I’ll show two of them here. One is the obvious one. Saying things like “You’re the center of my life”, “You are my world”, etc. But even using these “universal” lines you have to mean them. Your partner will EASILY be able to tell if you’re sincere. The second one is a more personal touch. Use an example that means something special to only the two of you that also shows how much the other person means to you. My example here comes from a conversation Angela and I had a few weeks back, though the same words could have easily appeared in a love letter. And, notice too that this example illustrates what I said in the two newsletters I did about our story, specifically about getting to know the person your partner is on the inside. A major issue involving a close relative when she was younger affected Angela emotionally for many years. Until recently, actually. You will see not only how much we shared with each other, which all partners should do, but a wonderful way for her to tell me what I mean to her. At one point in our conversation, she said, “You’ve healed something in me that no one else has been able to [heal].” When I asked her what it was, her answer proves again what we’ve shared, but also how much I mean to her. And it does it without clichés. When I asked her what it was that I healed that no one else could, she said, “You’ve healed my heart so that I can love again.” When I read that, I immediately began openly crying, and I told her that. She deserved to know how deeply her answer had touched me. So however you do it, make sure you let your partner know how important they are in your life.

         Not every phrase or sentence has to be romantic or speaking of love. That love can be implied too, when you use comments that you are certain your partner will take as examples of your love and devotion. I send Angela old fashioned snail mail love letters every few days, and she loves them. Two of the things that she and I talked about a short while back I will comment on in those letters once in a while. And she takes them as the examples of my devotion to her that they are meant to be. I tell her, flat out, that two of the many things I’m going to help her with once we are together, are finishing her education, and strengthening her arms so she can become as self sufficient as possible. To her, those things are just as strong an expression of my love and devotion to her as if I’d said, “Angela, you are the center of my life”. But these specific wordings are much better for that expression of love and devotion. Because they are personal examples, just for MY partner. And she knows it. Your partner will love your personalized version of them too.

         Here you can use those special, romantic nicknames for each other without embarrassment. And, it doesn’t matter if you’re not teenagers anymore. Those special nicknames add a lot to any relationship because they are individual, hand picked by you and your partner and intended to show your love to each other from the outset. Angela and I use ours in our emails, I use them in my snail mail love letters to her, and we use them in our phone conversations as well. And they never fail to warm our hearts each and every time. She said at one point that it doesn’t matter what I call her, she knows it’s said out of love. But she does love the two special names I chose for her just the same.

         Know your partner’s literary preferences and ask yourself if you know your partner well enough to know whether or not they would prefer your using them even in love letters. Some people love eloquent prose and / or poetry, some to the point that even a love letter would mean more to them written that way. But many others prefer just hearing your own words and feelings, right from your heart. And there are undoubtedly some that fall in between these two groups. What’s the best way to write that letter to reach your partner and not turn them off with the wrong style? If you’re not sure about what they’d really like to see, you might want to find out.

         And finally, we’re back to a perfect time for those “I love you”s that we discussed in one of the newsletters. The one that led to a lively discussion on whether or not you could say it too often in written stories or poems. I don’t think anyone would question that this is the best place TO say them, other than face to face, of course.



         So when you want to write the best love letter you can for your partner, make sure you know them inside as much as possible, right down to their literary preferences and the lengths to which they apply them, remember to include those special comments that are meaningful only to the two of you, including your special names for each other, and always be sure to include those three special words: “I love you.”