A Tough Conversation

Brice knocked on B.J.'s door just ten minutes later than he had said he would arrive, which for him was timely. He was surprised to feel a little nervous, and thought back to the day a few weeks earlier when he had gotten the call from his mom that had ended up being the reason he was at B.J.'s house today.

"Brice" Andy called. "Its your mom." Brice had entered the living room with a quizzical look on his face, only to be met with Andy's clueless shrug. "Brice, hi honey." He had heard his mothers familiar voice. "Hi mom." He said. "How are you, how is school going?" "Great, its going great." "Good sweetie, I am glad to hear it." she said. He had waited, knowing she wasnt finished. "Honey, I called to give you some news." "Yeah, I figured." "Brice, B.J. was diagnosed with cancer yesterday." Those words had instantly made his stomach turn over and sink to his feet.

He could still remember that feeling two weeks later, as he knocked on the door. He could hear B.J.'s 7 month old daughter Victoria crying before he heard his familiar voice calling "I'm on my way" and his footsteps approaching the door. When it swung open a minute later, Brice saw B.J. and he instantly felt the familiar friendship return, wondering how he had spent so much time away from this. "Hey man, awesome." B.J. said, as Brice said almost the same thing. B.J. reached out his free arm and they heartily embraced. "How's my girl?" Brice asked, reaching out to take Tori, as they had nicknamed her, from B.J.'s other arm. "Hey sweetheart." He crooned, rubbing her back gently. Tori almost immediately calmed down, and B.J. grinned. "How do you do that man? Its like magic." "Remember Cody?" Brice said, naming one of his nephews, who had spent most of his babyhood screaming. They both laughed, and Brice silently marveled at how quickly they had returned to a point where it seemed like they had never been apart. B.J. led the way into the kitchen, where he put Tori into a little swing and motioned for Brice to sit at the table. He then got them each a beer from the refrigerator and joined Brice at the table. "So tell me about this cancer stuff man, I need to hear it straight from you." Brice asked after they had both opened their beers. Anyone else would have thought Brice's inquiry to be callous, but Brice knew it was exactly how he always broached a subject with his longtime best friend, and now wanted B.J. to feel as comfortable as possible talking about it. Brice could tell his judgement had been correct. B.J.'s face softened, and Brice noticed a flicker of vulnerability in his lighthearted eyes. He sighed. "I went to the doctor and he told me I had testicular cancer. He found a small tumor and he said he was almost positive it was malignant." Brice could feel his heart aching, imagining how B.J. must have felt that day. "Damn dude, I bet that was a hell of a shock." "Oh hell, even more than when we found out we were having her." He said, glancing at Tori, and bringing welcome humor into the conversation. "So what did you do after you found out? Like treatment wise." Brice asked. "Well a couple days after I found out, I had surgery, and I am cancer free now." B.J. said in a surprisingly casual way. "That easy huh?" Brice said, laughing at the irony. B.J. laughed out loud. "Yeah, I actually got really lucky." He said. "I am so glad dude, I was so worried when my mom called, I am so sorry it took me so long to get here." Brice said. It had been almost a month since B.J.'s diagnosis. "Oh man, don't worry about it, I remember how rough it was juggling work and school. And dude, I am sorry it wasnt me who called to tell you, the first couple days were just...a little rough." B.J. said, his voice growing softer as the sentance ended. Brice's stomach sank, and he swallowed hard at B.J.'s words, imagining what he must be going through emotionally. "Beej." He began, using a childhood nickname, "I am so sorry you are having to go through this, I can't imagine how hard it must be." He finished. It was the most openly he had ever expressed his emotions to B.J., but he had felt an intense need to convey his feelings to him. B.J. nodded and lifted his eyes to meet Brice's. "Thanks dude." He said simply. "So how are you doing, with everything?" Brice asked. B.J. sighed, but when he met Brice's eyes again, he was smiling a little, much to Brice's amazement. "I am doing alright I think. A lot better than I ever would have imagined myself in this position. I still have to remind myself that cancer happened to me." He said with a chuckle. "I couldn't believe it either man, I am just so glad you are okay." Brice said. "Me too." B.J. said grinning. He lifted his can and when Brice raised his own they clanked their beers, and as was their custom after a toast, they simultaneously chugged the rest of the cold amber liquid that had seen them through as many good times as bad. There was so much more that Brice wanted to know, but he knew the rest would come in time, when B.J. felt like talking about it. Brice wondered if B.J. had always been this strong, and he had never noticed, too busy with his own life.

They sat at the kitchen table for another hour, talking excitedly and drinking beer, before Brice heard a car in the driveway. He looked at BJ and asked, "Is that Shan?" and grinned at BJ's nod. A minute later, BJ's wife Shannon came through the kitchen door, carrying two grocery bags and a handful of mail. Brice quickly stood up and relieved her of the bags before she threw her arms around him, allowing him to do the same, lifting her up and setting her back down. They then stood back and said their hellos. When Shannon had greeted Brice, she stepped into BJ's arms. "Hi honey, how was your day?" she asked sweetly, and after hearing his answer she kissed him on the lips with such tenderness it made Brice long for a similar relationship. "How's our girl?" she asked, giving BJ's hand a tight squeeze before going to the swing where Tori was bouncing happily in its chair. She lifted her from the seat and tossed her joyously in the air before nuzzling her neck and cooing "Hi baby, I missed you" as Tori squealed with delight. Brice smiled in appreciation of their small, happy family, wondering what his life would have been like if he too had married his high school sweetheart. Shannon handed Tori to Brice as she said, "We are having spaghetti." Brice laughed, knowing this meant that Shannon expected he was staying for dinner. She moved gracefully to the counter, where she began unloading groceries and preparing dinner, chatting with them all the while.

Brice and BJ stayed at the table while Shannon made dinner, drinking beer and catching up on the things they had been doing. BJ proudly showed him pictures of Tori, and Brice laughed at what a proud father his once untamably rowdy best friend had become. When Shannon served dinner, they sat at the table for two hours, laughing, talking, and eating the delicious food. Brice noticed that BJ's characteristically ravenous appetite seemed to have diminished, and he was doing more food pushing than eating. It was barely noticeable, as was the weight Brice could see he had lost, and the slightly pale tone of his skin. Brice knew these were all things one would have to look very closely to notice, and had a feeling he and Shannon were possibly the only people besides BJ's parents who noticed them. He had noticed a change in Shannon as well, though ever so slight. There seemed to be a slightly worried cloud behind her perpetually bright eyes. The way she approached her husband a little more cautious, her touches a little more tender.

They had long since finished eating when Shannon stood up and took their plates. "I am going to yoga tonight, you want me to take Tori with me?" she asked, her knowing smile telling that she knew their plans for the night included many more beers. "That'd be great babe, don't worry about the dishes either, we'll take care of it." BJ told her.

to be continued....