Stranger

I live with a stranger.
I lie to myself.
I stand on what makes me,
To reach something else…
A gratification
Of moments
Of now.
A hollowing numbness.
A murder of self.

I have many blessings…
She only wants more.
She would sacrifice life,
Just to knock on Death’s door.

I search for deliverance.
She beckons new pain.
I cast out my demons
She bids them remain.

I live with a stranger.
The mirror won’t lie.
I see there my vices,
We stand eye to eye.

I know I have choices.
The strength I have naught.
So much harder to grow
Than it is just to rot.

I have the control.
Can’t concede to the loss.
Yet, she calls the plays,
And I pay the cost…

Another day dawning
A time to begin
I am thinking, “new start”.
She quips, “try again”.

This will build me or break me.
It is something I’ve felt.
I live with a stranger.
I live with myself.