Torn

PROLOGUE

There wasn’t much else he could do. No matter how hard the physician tried, the woman he was trying to help was losing her energy at an alarming rate. She was no longer screaming and digging her nails into her husbands’ hands which gripped hers fiercely, as she was overcome with wave after wave of pain as the baby, a month early refused to move. Now she laid limp on the king sized bed.

It was not often that the physician felt powerless; after all, he was Dr. Lukas, the youngest and most sought after doctor, and naturally labeled as being one of the best in the country. Wiping away a layer of sweat that had appeared on his forehead in one swift movement, he let his eyes settle on the woman he had once loved with a passion. She had torn his heart with her betrayal. That had been a long time ago though. She didn’t affect him anymore.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this”

His own voice floated to his ears. Had he really said that? The physician, who didn’t-come-cheap-because-you-got-what-you-paid-for? It was. His shoulders slumped in defeat, showing that he was tired physically as well as mentally. She was going to die. She’d given up hope just as much as he had. He’d seen it in her eyes. The deep blue eyes he’d always been able to read so clearly.

Lost in thought, he was momentarily shocked when a rough calloused hand pulled him back, making him fall backwards off the bed onto the wooden floor.

“Listen to me Lukas, you son of a bitch. If you don’t help her, on our mother’s grave, ill kill you with my bare hands.”

Looking up into his younger brother’s face he flinched at his brother’s rare use of profanity and managed to croak

“Markus I think you already are.” as he tried to pries his brothers hand off, he forced out “Get your hands off my neck”

Sitting on top of him, Markus relaxed his fingers so that the air gushed into Lukas’ lungs. Markus’ body trembled softly as he tried to hold his anger in check. Below him, Lukas felt his brother’s body shaking and felt an overwhelming wave of emotion of love and guilt sweep over him, realizing that he would not be able to do any more for his brother. Markus had always depended on his older brother to get him out of one fix or another, which of course he always managed to get himself into. Speaking softly, he put a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder; forcing himself with steely determination he thought he didn’t possess, to meet his brother’s eyes.

“The baby is early because Anaya slipped in the stable. You must understand that your child is not in the correct position” sighing he continued “If you want me to save her, I will need to open her belly. She’s too weak. Even you can see that. I can save the child, but Anaya” he sighed, no longer able to maintain eye contact with his brother “I just cannot say”.

Markus’ shoulders slumped, head downcast mimicking the look of defeat Lukas had had on his face a moment ago. Rising slowly, he released his older brother from the weight which had been pinning him down and mumbled ‘Do it’ which Lukas may have missed, if he had not been looking at is younger brothers face so intently.

He watched his brother walk slowly towards his wife on the bed, bending down to brush his lips softly over hers. Lukas watched his brothers’ eyes glaze over, now dull and vacant, no longer holding any hint of mischievousness. He was looking into the face of a stranger. The man who stood before him was no longer his brother. Walking past Lukas, he headed towards the door saying ‘bye brother’ and stepped out of the room and out of Lukas' life forever

Chapter One

He was back again. It never changed. Soil, damp and soft under his feet,the cool fresh morning air with the little white puffs escaping from his ragged breath, blurring everything infront of him. He walks slowly to the door of the stable knowing what to expect. His rattling chest and the numbing dum dum dum in his ears increases as he gets closer, making him gasp for more air gulping it down, forgetting to exhale. He knows what he will find. Stop. No more, please. enough! He can't control his body. It wont listen. Go no further! His mind screams. it's the same every time. He knows he must walk through the doors and play this scene out over and over again. Push the door. Get this over and done with. He moves his hand, hesitates as he pushes it, bracing himself for the nightmare to enfold.

'Lukas! Lukas! Stop it your scaring her!'He jolted up from the seat, his body tensing reflexively, gasping for air. getting his bearings he Looked up into the alarmed face of his nanny Marina. No! he'd had it again. When would it end?
'Lukas, you're awake! it was just a dream'
'Hah! a dream!' he replied bitterly, before noting his niece sat next to Marina, pale face, eyes wide, bottom lip trembling trying valiantly not to burst into tears. She had her beloved teddy .... held firmly within her little fingers.
Relaxing the muscles in his body and the frown upon his face he forced a teasing note into his voice.
'Now whats all this fuss about? you're not worried about me are you?'

/.........