My Computer

Stupid computer,
You went and froze.
You took my term paper
And shoved it up your nose.
How I wish I
Could get the garden hose,
Because you’re unresponsive
To my many blows.

Curs-ed computer,
Bane of my life.
You are the cause
Of most of my strife.
Couldn’t have done better
If you’d stuck a knife
In my turned back
Like my ex-wife.

Lovely computer,
How I love you.
Won’t you bring up
My paper or two?
Hurry please
Because it’s due!
By the way,
Have you seen my shoe?

Horrid computer,
I hate you so!
You hid my paper;
I stubbed my toe.
I think you
Are a big bimbo.
Ask me to type it,
I’ll say no!

A Note From My Hunk of Junk

He uses me all day,
From morning ‘till night,
Pressing my keys,
On the website.

He uses my speakers,
Plays his silly game,
Then he blames it on me,
Isn’t that lame?

Is it my fault I crash?
My fault he abuses me?
I’m just a machine,
Please let me be.