Secret Sisterhood of Teenage Tragedies

The Secret Sisterhood of the Teenage Tragedies

Prologue

For the past year we have been sisters, connected only by the complications of our teenage years. We left our homes, our families, and our past behind one October night and traveled to a small town in southern Oklahoma. A small town that knew us only as the Turner sisters, a group of five, beautiful, young girls who showed up one morning on the door step of their community after a tragic accident left them without parents. They took us under their wing and gave us the parental support we lacked in our original lives. We finally had the happiness we so desperately needed. But this was bittersweet. Along with our joy came responsibility and heartbreak, came adversity and trials of many defeats. I feel obligated to tell our story. These are our trials, our tribulations, our dreams, and our victories. These are the confessions from the Secret Sisterhood of the Teenage Tragedies.

Chapter 1

My life was not an unhappy one. However, with six brothers and sisters, it was often difficult to get the attention that I deserved. I lived in a religious community where it was socially unacceptable to have faults. Any weakness that one showed would immediately be discredited to their social standing. In this particular neighborhood, women were expected to sit in the background and be silent. There were specific rules that were to be lived by. I was never made for rules. I needed to be free, I needed to soar above this world and leave it all behind. I was, and always will be, a free spirit. There was always something holding me down, restricting me like a cage, I felt this every day. The weight on my shoulders became almost unbearable, and it was to the point when, in my mind, it was run or die. So I decided to run for my life.
I had been keeping an online journal where feedback could easily be reached, and that’s where I was struck with the idea that I didn’t have to go alone. I posted an entry explaining what I planned to do and I why I planned to do it. I expected minimal support but soon received emails from many young girls in the same place I was, hating their lives and wanting a way out.
Over the months we secretly planned our escape, saving every penny that we earned. Hanging, desperately, onto the hope that one day we would be free. With the magic of the Internet, we soon found the perfect location, a small town in southern Oklahoma called “Hope’s Light,” we thought it appropriate for the situation. Soon after, we found a small town house located in the center of our chosen location, with rent that was easily affordable. We decided that we would worry about getting jobs when we moved in, but with some of the money we had saved we were able to pay for the first month’s rent and utilities.
All that was left to plan was our escape, our final way out.
There were six of us originally to be coming. We made new identities for ourselves so we would never be traced to be the six runaway teenagers.
I would be Regen Fate Turner, a seventeen year-old girl who would be remembered as the girl with the intense blue eyes. I had chestnut brunette hair with pale white skin and light freckles. A father’s dream, but never I knew one. Before I came to Hope’s Light I was withdrawn and shy, rarely saying a word to anyone. No one knew why I was so silent, but no one really took the time to find out. To my neighborhood I was the sweet, innocent, and strictly religious fifteen year-old, worthy of babysitting their children and expected to marry young and have many kids myself. No one knew the real me. The me that got so frustrated at times that I would take it out on my wrists with the jagged edge of a razorblade.
Katia was a fifteen year-old girl who lived with her father in California. Her mother left her when she was seven, disowned her, and just recently gave birth to another baby girl who she affectionately named “Katia,” leaving the original Katia feeling replaced and alone. But we knew her as Rein Destiny Turner, the sweet sixteen year-old who would do anything to insure the constant laughter of the rest of us. But we, as sisters, had never heard her laughter. With brunette hair and blue eyes, she was obviously a Turner sister.
Then there was Chelsea, a fourteen year-old girl diagnosed with depression who quickly became Risse Faith Turner, an outspoken fifteen year-old who loved life without the worries of daily medication. She had a smile that, when shown, would light the darkest night. But her family never saw that, they were too busy trying to get a psychiatrist to stamp her insane to notice their daughter’s hidden potential for happiness. Her blonde hair and sea-green eyes made it difficult for us to pass her as our sister, but with the help of dark hair dye, she soon became a Turner.
Tara was the girl in the back of the class. She had pale skin, black hair and green eyes. No one knew what she was thinking and she preferred it that way. No one could tell her what to do. Whenever someone would tell her that she couldn’t or wouldn’t do something, within one minute she had it planned out how she would do it. She would get a certain look in her eye and a small grin on her face whenever she figured out how she would pull it off. She was seventeen and already craving the adrenaline that the conservative town life couldn’t give her. We knew her as Rabe Mercy Turner, the eighteen year-old sister who protected us all from the things that go bump in the night.
The one who need the most protection was sixteen year-old Danielle, who became Ruhe Charity Turner, our thirteen year-old, and youngest sister. She could’ve been older if not for a losing struggle against an eating disorder that left her looking more like a tiny, precious memories doll than a teenager. Her fragile composure, dark brunette hair, and big brown eyes became the center of attention for many community members in Hope’s Light.
Our missing-in-action sister was Jenni, a fourteen year old girl from Montana who would’ve been Rache Grace Turner had she shown up. We never knew what happened to her and never saw her again until the trial. She swore, like the rest of us, to be there but never showed.

Chapter 2

Our names were not just ordinary names; they meant something to each one of us. Each name was a word in German that fit the person. My name, Regen, means “rain,” because, like the rain, I had fallen from something clean and heavenly and landed on earth. I needed to fly like the rain but never come back. Katia’s name, Rein, means “pure,” her pale skin and light blue eyes tell of agony and torment, like a lost child who fell into our arms. Chelsea’s name, Risse, means “tears,” because if her family hadn’t been so busy trying to fix her, they would’ve noticed that she was never broken. Tara chose Rabe because it meant “raven,” her black hair and green eyes explains this but she chose this name also because ravens never stay in one spot, the travel the world without restraints. Danielle picked the named Ruhe, which means “silence,” because over the many years of being taken to psychiatrist after psychiatrist and having to talk about what she’d rather keep to herself, the main reason she joined us is for silence, so she wouldn’t have to talk unless she wanted to. And after a while, she wanted to.
Those who couldn’t drive or didn’t own a car had the responsibility of finding a way to Hope’s Light. Being a small town, they didn’t have a direct bus route to where we were headed so it was up to each sister to plan their own escape. I kept records of bus schedules, taxi availability, routes and roads, and walking distances between each one and soon enough I had my way out.
Once everyone had designated what she had planned, we agreed on a date, October first. We wanted our escape to be in October because of a poem that Ruhe had shared with us all called “October Sky”. I remember it clearly, even now. A new month, a new time to cry, my tears run deep, into this October sky. The same life, wish I could fly, and spread my wings into this October sky.
It inspired us all. It gave me hope.
Every spare moment we owned was spent online, ironing out loose ends and sharing our dreams and expectations of our new lives. We became instantly close. In our minds, we were sisters, no matter what the blood tests and social workers would try to tell us later. Even before we met we were inseparable. All we ever wanted was someone who knew how we felt, someone who had gone through the shit we had, instead we found five.
We combed our plans each day to look for something that might lead an unwanted visitor to us; we made sure that nothing could be traced. I was in charge of creating new identities for us. That was the easy part; the hard part was putting it all together. Everything had to fit like a puzzle piece; there couldn’t be any broken link. Because once we won our freedom, nothing in the world could make us give it up.
After everything had been mapped out there was no turning back, not that any of us had expressed the want to. All that was left to do was wait for that precious moment of freedom. The night that moment came was the best of my life.

Chapter 3

We left notes when we left. It was our signature. At the bottom of each note was the symbol we had designed for ourselves, so we would be recognized as a cause. It was a black and white picture of an eye crying with mascara running down a pale, almost hauntingly blue face. Centered in the middle was the name we chose for ourselves, The Secret Sisterhood of the Teenage Tragedies.
October 1, when the clock hit 3:00am, and my alarm chimed quietly, I awoke, I remember my heart beating widely. This was the moment I had waited for my whole life, my moment of freedom.
Freedom is a word that is thrown around a lot but no one can actually know the true meaning of freedom without being inside the heads of us five girls that night. We left, each of us smiling wildly, as if we knew some immense secret.
The day before I left I gave no hint of what I planned. I acted no differently than the day before; this opportunity was too precious to be lost by a single mistake. Granted it was difficult to see my friends the day before I would leave them, but I would show no sign of weakness.
So when my alarm finally chimed, I knew that I had earned the award I would receive in mere hours.
I crept silently out of my bed, my eyes blazing with victory, and placed my note carefully on my pillow. I still remember the words.
To my family,
Please forgive me. I’m doing what I have to do, for if I stay here I will die. I know that you did everything you could but it just wasn’t enough. I need freedom. I was never meant for this life. I feel misplaced. Please don’t come look for me, because if you bring me back I will die. So I’m running for my life. If you truly love me you will let me fly. Trust that I will be okay; know that I will make it. Please don’t worry too much.
After I placed the note down I walked into the bathroom across the narrow hall. My reflection in the mirror was the brightest I had seen in years, as if the dark cloud that had been hovering above me for the past years had finally past. The dark circles under my eyes had left. My eyes glittered brightly. Soon I had changed from my pink pajamas into a dark outfit consisting of black workout pants and a dark blue v-necked t-shirt. I tied my long brunette hair back, then, reaching into my small chest of jewelry, I pulled out seven black and blue bracelets to cover the most recent set of cuts on my wrists.
I had already packed, hiding each of my bags in my closet, though I could only take what I needed, for I was traveling by bus.
The house was dark and quite as I crept down the hall. The night was the only time in which there was silence in my old home. The house still showed traces of my childhood, permanent marker stains on the walls, and grape juice stains on the carpet. Despite the memories the small house held, I still smiled as I gently turned the knob and walked slowly out the front door.
The night was full of shadows but I was not afraid. I stared up at my home. There were skeletons hanging from the branches of an old oak tree with the initials MW carve into the trunk. I laughed, this was not my name anymore, and those were not my initials.
The walk was not a long one. The nearest bus station was only half of a mile away. It would take me to the Greyhound Station where I would board the bus that would take me directly to my freedom, to Hope’s Light.
I boarded the bus with confidence. Any sign of fear might make a person ask questions. The bus rattled loudly and a nearby open window brought in the night’s cold chill. I looked around the bus slowly. There was an older, large woman with graying hair huddled in the front, clinging to a gray shawl and reading from a tattered old Bible. She turned and smiled when she saw me staring. I returned the smile then looked away. A couple seats behind her was a middle-aged man who kept nervously looking at his watch and shaking his leg. He wore an old, gray suit and beside him was a faux-leather briefcase. The last person was a younger man, in his early twenties, with dark hair. He looked consumed by a small booklet of crossword puzzles. Every few minutes he would look up from it, stare, but focus on nothing, then return his glance to his work.
I shivered as another cold breeze hit me. My jacket wasn’t enough to keep me from the sharp wind. Sub-consciously I wrapped my arms around myself, shriveled into the corner of my seat, and shut my eyes. The slowly rocking of the bus made it easy for me to drift off to sleep.
About three hours later I woke to a soft humming sound. I opened my eyes cautiously, forgetting where I was.
“Oh, I’m sorry dear, did I wake you?”
My eyes focus to a body sitting on the seat beside mine. The gray haired old woman was now sitting beside me croqueting something pink out of yarn.
“Didn’t mean to startle you dear, just saw you shivering by yourself so I thought I’d . . .. well . . .” She pointed to my shoulders.
I looked down and saw the shawl that the woman had wrapped herself in just hours earlier.
“Oh, um, thanks.” I choked out still half sleeping.
“Well there you are dear! Thought you couldn’t speak there for a minute.” Her voice was thick with a southern accent, “Name’s Margery Harriet. But you can call me Marge. And who might you be?”
“M . . .” I started saying but quickly corrected myself, “Regen Turner.”
“Well, my, my, my, haven’t see many Regens in my life. What a pretty name for a pretty little girl. How old are you hun? You don’t look a day past fourteen.”
I almost choked. How was I supposed to pass for seventeen when I didn’t even look my real age?
“Seventeen.” I laughed nervously, “I get that a lot.”
“Seventeen, you don’t say? And what might you be doing on this here bus all by your lonesome?”
I took a deep breath going over the story in my head that the six of us had created.
“I’m going to live with my older sister and my younger sisters in Hope’s Light. She got custody of us when our parents died and wants us all to live in a small town, so we grow up right.” I put on my saddest, most pathetic look and looked into Marge’s squinting green eyes.
“What a shame, what a shame indeed. Hope’s Light you say? Well, bless my soul, I’m heading there myself, own a diner there, lived there all my life. But this bus will take you 23 miles from Hope’s Light. How’re going to get there once the bus stops? Don’t look like you’ve got a ride waiting for you.”
“Actually my sisters and I are staying in a nearby motel until we get ourselves situated.”
“How many sisters you got?” She smiled and revealed a small crack in between her two front teeth.
“There are six of us.” I returned the smile checking my watch. The bus wasn’t due to reach Oklahoma for another eleven hours. My parents would be waking up now and noticing that I wasn’t there.
“Six!” She gasped, “Why, how wonderful! Six little angels, it’s a shame you sweet girls have no parents. Wish I had a little girl. Tell you what, if I did, I wouldn’t go dying and leaving them all alone. Oh, I’m sorry dear, hope I haven’t upset you.”
I looked down at my hands, acting as though she had upset me. “It wasn’t their fault.”
Marge wrapped a large arm around my small shoulders and pushed my head into her round cheek. “Oh, of course not hun. Now don’t listen to old Marge, she says dumb things sometimes. Now I’ve gone and upset you.”
She smelt strongly of cinnamon and spices. I gently pulled myself away from her shoulders and sank into the seat.
“Are you hungry dear? I got plenty of extra sandwiches.”
“Oh, no thanks, I . . .um.. . I don’t eat meat.”
“Oh my lord! Now that aint right! A growing girl needs her protein. In my day we didn’t have all these new fashion diets. Well, look at you, got no meat on you. You’re just skin and bones! But I suppose that’s not none of my business.”

Chapter 4

It was almost six o’ clock in the evening when the bus finally stopped in Southern Oklahoma. I was tired, hungry, and sweaty but I was happy. I was home. I stepped off the bus and into the fresh air, breathing in the strong smell of south. Marge stepped off the bus after me and wrapped her arms around me.
“Now you and your sisters stop by the diner any time and see me, you hear?”
“We’ll do that. Thanks for keeping me company.”
“Oh, it was you who did the real service, keeping an old lady like me feeling young.”
She shook me in her arms and then let me go.
Grabbing my bags firmly I started walking to the motel that we had all chosen. Within fifteen minutes I was standing in front of a small motel building with a large neon sign that said “Independence Motel” with the words “Vacancies” flashing. I took a deep breath and walked in.
A small, husky man with a small beard was standing at the counter rifling through a mixture of wrinkled papers and potato chip bags. I stepped up to the counter and lifted my hand to ring the small bell on the desk. The small man grabbed my hand before it came down.
“I’m right here and I swear to god if I hear that damn bell one more time I’ll rip out my hair.”
I stared at the man’s balding head.
“Okay.” I said attentively. “I have a reser. . .”
“Turner. Right?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Listen, how many kids do you think I get running around these parts? Your sisters are already here, all except one.” He turned around and yanked a key from the rack, “Last key of that room I got, don’t want no one asking me for another. Leave the room how you found it. No noise after ten. No exchange of drugs or illegal merchandise. You break any of these rules and I’ll break your neck. You hear?”
I backed up and squinted my eyes. The man was nearly three inches shorter than me. I held back a laugh and said “Yeah, sure thing.”
The man smiled falsely then threw the key to me.
“Uh, thanks” I said backing up.
As I climbed the stairs I heard the man mumbling to himself, “damn kids” over and over again.
I looked down at the key D2 and at the door, D2. Turning the key, I held my breath and walked in. The room was dark and it looked like no one was there. I took small cautious steps and flipped on the light switch. No one was there. The room was completely empty other than three beds with tattered blankets, a miniature refrigerator, and a small old television set resting on a food tray.
“Hello?” I called nervously.
I heard a small noise coming form the bathroom and pressed my ear against the door. Suddenly four bodies sprang from the door laughing. They all wrapped their arms around me and jumped up and down screaming.
We couldn’t stop laughing and hugging. We were all so relieved to see each other. A small knocking noise came from below us.
“Quiet up there!” It was the same man from the desk.
We were quiet for an instant then quickly started laughing again.
Everyone laughed even harder and hung to each other. When we finally let go of one another we had laughed so much that we were crying out of shear joy. I looked around.
A tall, thin girl with pale skin, black hair and big green eyes was sitting beside me on the middle bed. She looked rough, with dark eyeliner and black mesh clothing.
“Rabe.” I said pointing to her.
She nodded.
Next to her was a small, brunette, with big blue eyes. She had an angelic face that made you want to cry every time you looked at her. Her eyes looked tortured and her skin looked battered. She sported a bruise on her left cheek. She had never told any of us that her father had hit her, but we could all guess.
I smiled encouragingly, “Rein.”
She nodded then stared down at her hands trying to hide the bruise that we had all already noticed.
Sitting cross-legged on the ground was a blonde girl with sea green eyes. She smiled wildly and beamed at her new sisters.
I smiled back, “Risse.”
She laughed and nodded.
Leaning against the wall was the smallest teenager I had ever seen. She was so thin, and had the biggest brown eyes. She was staring down at her shoes self-consciously. Her skin looked so thin and her hair was dull, but still vicious dark brown.
“Ruhe.” I said turning to her.
She smiled and choked a small “yes.”
“Regen.” I heard Rabe say. Suddenly we were all hugging again.
We were missing a sister and it was getting late.
“Anyone heard from Rache?” Risse asked wrapping her arms around Rein and putting her head on her shoulder.
Everyone shook their heads. Risse squinted her eyes and paced around the small room.
“She was supposed to be here first. She lived the least distance away. Do you think she got caught?”
“God, I hope not. But I guess that would be better than just chickening out. She better not have told a soul about us.’ Rabe fumed.

We talked the rest of the night and into the morning. We talked of our former lives, why we had needed this so much, and what we hoped for our new lives as sisters. Rein didn’t speak much; she was shy, but friendly. She kept to herself and we all suspected that the fifteen years of abuse had caught up to her.
We learned more about each other that night then most people learns in a lifetime. We finally fell asleep early into the morning of the 2nd of October, all together, sisters. There are no words to explain the happiness we all felt that night together.
The sun arose only hours after we fell asleep and we all woke full energized, not a bit exhausted. I opened my eyes very slowly, just in case yesterday was just a magnificent dream. I wanted to soak in all the wonderful feelings. The sun was shining brilliantly across the gorgeous southern sky. Turning my head I smiled as I came face to face with each of my new sisters. They were all slowly awaking, one by one. We just stared in awe and silence.
I couldn’t believe it; though I wanted to so much. It was just so incredible. It was something I thought could never happen to me and by the looks from the other four girls they couldn’t believe it either.
Our missing sister had still not shown up and Rabe was not happy. We were worried and confused. I had expected this; I really didn’t expect everyone to show up who had promised. I didn’t even expect four to show. I thought there would be at least two who would chicken out.
The motel room was lit gently by the sun when Risse opened the navy colored curtains. We smiled at each other.
Risse shook her head in awe. “Wow.” Was all she could say as she glided back to the bed we had all fallen asleep on. She sat down cross-legged and put her head on my shoulder.


Story still in progress
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