Sapphira's Version

Sapphira's Version
                                                                          Old Hull. 11 Oct 2003
(Sapphira is the wife of Ananias.)

(In both names, the 'i' is pronounced like the 'i' in 'liar'. Webster's calls Ananias, "a man who was struck dead for lying". More in footnote 1, for the curious.)


Please God I never have to go through another week like this one, Rachel! I don't care if I never see Jerusalem again. God should forgive me for saying such a thing; but I don't need the drama, you understand? If your boy Samuel hadn't fetched us out here to you, who knows what might have become of us? I am blessed to have such a nephew, I swear to God. Wait till I tell you how he saved our lives.


I'm sure you know that Sammy joined that new sect; he wouldn't have done a thing like that without telling his own mother. It was all new to us though. We had hardly heard of the sect, even. Ananias has been traveling so much on business, and this last time I went with him because his health has not been so good. Anyway, just after we got back to Jerusalem, Sammy came over to the house filled with enthusiasm about how he had joined the disciples. He was so excited about the Messiah coming to save us and everything that he got Ananias and me going too, and  nothing would do but that we all had to go to a meeting that same day over in Solomon's Porch.

There was a giant of a man called Peter there, who they said was an apostle, making a speech in such a loud voice that you could hear even at the back, with a Galilean brogue you could cut with a knife. There was a whole bunch of tough-looking Galileans with him, and a huge crowd cheering and praying. It seems that the apostles Peter and John had been healing the sick and casting out devils for several days, and thousands of people had joined the group. There were lots of people we knew there, and what with them and Sammy telling us we had to join, and then Ananias getting so excited too ---you know how he is--- we signed up to be disciples like everybody else.

There was so much cheering and stamping of feet that you could have sworn the ground was shaking.  I must confess that I got caught up in the spirit of it as much as anybody, screaming "Amen!" and "Praise the Lord!" or "Yea,brother!" to everything that was said, even though there was a lot I didn't catch, what with all the noise and the funny accent of the speakers.

It was only later, when we had got home and calmed down a bit, that Samuel informed us that --- surprise, surprise --- we had all enthusiastically volunteered to sell our property and lay the proceeds at the feet of the apostles. I began to think maybe I had screamed "Yea brother!" once too often. Sammy rushed out right away to sell that field that his father left him, and then to go and lay the money at Peter's feet. My husband went along with him so that he wouldn't be alone on the streets of Jerusalem with a bag of money in his hand. When Ananias got back, I learned that Sammy had duly handed over his contribution to the cheers of the crowd. Peter had even honoured him with  a new name, 'Barnabas', the Encourager. Unfortunately. all this attention made dear, innocent Sammy feel so proud that he went on to announce to the congregation that the money had come from the sale of a field that "bordered on the land of his uncle Ananias." Naturally, everyone turned to look in expectation at Ananias. You could hardly blame them, could you, considering the way Sammy's words must have sounded.

By the time Sammy made that announcement, my husband  had already been having second thoughts. My Ananias may be impulsive, but he's not a  fool. "But what could I do?" he wails. "They  were all looking at me, just waiting for me to say it, willing me to say it. How could I shame myself, and Sammy as well, before our whole community? I had  to tell them I'd sell our land too, and to promise to deliver the money tomorrow. Did I have any choice?"

I had to admit that, in the circumstances, he really didn't. But what were we going to do now? Did we have to bankrupt ourselves just because we got carried away at a prayer meeting? And it was all so dangerous, too! One thing I had found out at the meeting was that Peter keeps on getting arrested and thrown in gaol! It was only fear of a riot that induced the High Priest to let him out again, but that couldn't last long. We had to get away from the group and out of the city.

Sammy returned a little later,all full of his good deed, his new name, and my husband's marvellous promise. I told him that there'd been a mistake. We were not true believers like he is; we had let ourselves get carried away and got ourselves into a heap of trouble. He said we were to call him 'Barnabas' now, not 'Sammy', and that in any case there wasn't going to be any trouble at all because the apostles had said that these were the last days; the world was going to come to an end long before the apostles ran out of money to distribute. (Young people, nowadays!) I just took the time to remind him that, if anything should chance to happen before the end of the world -- we should live so long -- the family should try to stick together. Right then it was my husband that I needed to talk to.

When I got him in private, we talked the situation over together; and we managed  to come up with a plan that would let us satisfy the group until we could decently and safely withdraw, while still keeping something in hand for our old age. Well, Rachel, Ananias managed to sell the land all right; but he then deposited half the proceeds in the safe-keeping of our Greek friend Demetrios that he has been doing business with for ever so long. On the way out of Demetrios's house he met someone going in who gave him a rather funny look, but it didn't seem significant at the time. When we finally went to bed that night, we thought it was going to be all right, Rachel; we really did! In fact Ananias felt so confident that he said it would look better if I didn't go until later, in case anybody wondered why he needed his wife there to support him.

Next day, Ananias went to the meeting with Sammy/Barnabas to hand over the money. It was Sammy who told me later, on the way here, what happened next; poor Ananias isn't well enough to talk about it yet, as you can see. That man at Demetrios's place must have been a disciple whose suspicions were aroused at the sight of Ananias. Maybe he said something to Demetrios like: " May I deposit money with you, like my friend Ananias tells me he just did?" However it came about, by the time my husband brought the money, Peter knew! And Peter was mad!

Oh, Rachel! It breaks my heart to think about it. That huge man thundered at my poor husband in front of all those people, "Ananias, why did you let Satan take control of your heart and make you lie to the Holy Spirit by keeping part of the money you received for the property? Before you sold the property it belonged to you, and after you sold it the money was yours. Why, then, did you decide in your heart that you would do such a thing? You have not lied to men---you have lied to God!"

Lied to God, Rachel! Imagine! How could anybody answer an accusation like that? Especially someone like my Ananias, who has never been able to think on his feet, wants to please everybody, and is frightened of  his own shadow!  The poor dear was so overwhelmed and taken aback that he took one of his fits, and fell down like a dead man.

Peter told the young men to wrap the body , then take him out and bury him. Just like that! No funeral; no message to the family; nothing. Like a dog, for God's sake! Luckily for us, this was not the first time that Sammy had seen Ananias in one of his fits. He took charge of the burial party, and when they got outside, he told the others that he would take care of everything; they could go back inside.  He carried Ananias on his back down the alley to the home of Demetrios, where he could rest and recover. Sammy is a real treasure, Rachel. He's a true believer, even now, but he's a good Jewish boy at heart: he won't let harm come to his family.

Sammy says that everyone still looked stunned when he went back. Even Peter was as pale as a ghost. I suppose that he had got pretty accustomed to healing the sick and casting out devils; but discovering that he could strike a man dead shook him up a bit. He had to take deep breaths for a few minutes until he could get a grip. Then he got a sort of glint in his eye, according to Sammy, as if he were saying to himself, "I've got the Power!" Maybe he wasn't really thinking that; Sammy I mean Barnabas says Peter's a bit of a rough diamond; but he means well and he's really a saint in his own way.

Still, you should have seen Peter when I walked in, looking for Ananias. Remember, Rachel, he was convinced that he had just killed my husband, or at least got God to do it. You'd think he could at least behave decently to the widow! But does he ask me to sit down, so he can break the terrible news gently? Oh no! Nothing like that! None of that sentimental nonsense! Now it's the poor widow's turn to get the treatment. Only this time he knows he can kill.

So he gives me a hard look, and says in a voice as cold as charity, "Tell me, was this the full amount you and your husband received for your property?"  I sensed right away that it was a trap. I also knew I was caught in it. So I gave him the lying answer that his lying question was asking for: "Yes, the full amount." Then he turns on me the full blast of his thunder: "Why did you and your husband decide to put the Lord's Spirit to the test? The men who buried your husband are at the door right now, and they  will carry you out too!"

I tell you, Rachel, I nearly died on the spot, just like he wanted me to. He's bellowing at me that my husband is dead, and I'm next, for God's sake. For all I know then, maybe he does have 'the Power'. But all I can think of at that moment is that they've murdered my husband, and I swear to God I don't much care if they do me too.

Suddenly I hear Sammy behind me frantically whispering: "Aunt Sapphira! Fall down! Fake it!" The way I felt just then, I didn't even need to fake it. Barnabas says I turned pale from shock and fainted dead away. So then, just like Ananias, I get wrapped up and carried out; Sammy does his routine; and I wake up on a bed to see the worried faces of Demetrios and Ananias peering down at me. What do I do then? I faint all over again.

Sammy says that all the disciples were convinced that both of us were dead and buried, the result being that "the whole church and all the others who heard of this were filled with great fear." I'll bet they were. They know who's boss now, all right. They're too stunned to talk about it much. So much the better for them! If the news spread to the religious authorities, it would give them the excuse they've been looking for to hand Peter over to the Romans; and for double murder, that means the chop.

Ananias and I had better lie low for a spell. We have enough money deposited with Demetrios to live quietly in the country until the whole thing blows over.  Between you and me, there's quite a bit more tucked away in a safe place that Ananias doesn't know about. You know how it is, Rachel. We don't have to tell our husbands everything. It's not like lying to God, after all, is it?

By the way, you should really have a word with Sammy about staying with that church. Demetrios says that the way things are going, if they manage to last another six months, that will be a real miracle!

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Notes
1. The public events in this story are taken without distortion from the New Testament, Acts ch.5. Peter's accusations and the replies of Ananias and  Sapphira  are quoted verbatim from Today's English Version.

Until recently the name, Ananias, was commonly used in England as a euphemism for, "liar", e.g., "The Prime Minister is a veritable Ananias!"

2. Around 1250 AD, the eminent theologian, Saint Thomas Aquinas, stated that the clinching evidence for the existence of miracles was the survival of the Church.

3. I checked with a Jewish friend from Montreal concerning the authenticity and especially the acceptability of Sapphira's voice. At first, he strongly objected. However, after reading the piece, he told me that both were O.K. after all, but that Christians were even nuttier than he had thought.
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