Batman vs. Superman

Batman vs. Superman: The Fight of the Century!
By: Sailor Thetis
Batman leaps across the buildings of Gotham City, scouting for any criminal activity that might be taking place.
“Well, a good night so far,” he thinks. “Two bank robberies stopped and the Joker’s back in jail.”
As Batman jumps to the next roof, a blue and red blur suddenly blocks his path. He jumps in surprise to see Superman in front of him, his arms crossed and looking serious.
“Well, fancy meeting you here,” Batman says. “It’s been awhile.”
“It has indeed,” says the muscular man in tights.
“What brings you to Gotham?” the caped crusader asks, even though he already knows the answer.
“You and I have an old score to settle,” says Superman.
“Hey, you ran out the last time we tried this,” Batman answers as he holds up his hands and shrugs.
“I didn’t know Lex Luther would choose then to try out the World Inhalation Bomb he bought off of Evil-Bay, it was a bad bit of scheduling on his part. I told him that I was busy. But I cleared it with his secretary, and he’s out of town for the night, so this time there won’t be any interruptions. Well, let’s get started then, shall we?”
“Just what I wanted to hear,” says Batman with a slight grin, pulling a Baterang from his utility belt.
“Just one rule this time,” Superman says.
“What’s that?”
“Don’t cry when I beat you.”
“Very funny.”
Superman leaps at Batman, fist outstretched. Batman jumps to the side to avoid him and throws his Baterang. It catches Superman across the back of the neck. He turns back around, rubbing it.
“Hey, no fair hitting from behind.”
“All’s fair in love and war,” Batman answers.
“Then I guess this is fair too.”
Superman shoots out a heat ray from his eyes. Batman lunges to avoid it. The beam misses by inches and strikes a heating vent on the roof, melting it instantly.
“Might’ve gone a little too far with the love and war thing,” Batman says to himself as he jumps over the side of the building.
He pulls out his hand-held grappling shooter, aims, and latches it onto another roof. He swings through the streets of Gotham, Superman right on his heels.
“Think you can outrun me?” Superman calls.
“Think you can catch me?” Batman yells back at him.
Superman shoots out another heat ray. It hits Batman’s cable, and he begins to fall towards the street below. Reaching for his utility belt again, he brings out a tear gas grenade and chucks it at his opponent. It hits Superman square in the chest and explodes. He stops where he is and coughs from the gas that encircles him. Batman picks up speed as he heads for the ground but suddenly grabs onto a light pole, flips over it, and lands with cat-like precision in the street. Suddenly, Superman falls from the sky, coughing, and creating a large hole in the asphalt. He staggers back to his feet, looking slightly dazed.
“Gotham tax payers will have to pay for that. They aren’t going to appreciate that, you know.”
“Okay then, let’s raise the stakes a little. Loser has to pay for the road and do the others laundry for a week.”
“Deal,” Batman pauses and grins. “And just so you know, my Bat Suits need to be washed in cold water. No bleach.”
Superman lunges at Batman, slamming him through a building. They fall in a heap on the other side, ending up at Gotham’s boat docks. Batman punches Superman. For the Man of Steel, it isn’t much of a blow, but just enough of one to give Batman a chance to get up. He pulls out another tear gas grenade from his utility belt and lets it fly. It strikes Superman on the chest and explodes just as the last one, but he’s ready this time. Sticking his arms out, the caped hero begins to spin. He swirls faster and faster, soon becoming a blur to Batman’s eyes, the smoke swirling with him. Suddenly, he stops and the smoke is pushed away from him… And straight at Batman!
He throws up his cape, covering his face to protect his nose and eyes from the fumes. Then, quick as lightning, Superman appears through the smoke. Before Batman can even move, Superman lands a punch across his jaw. It sends him flying across the harbor and into a stack of wooden crates, which explode into tiny shards from the impact his body makes. With a groan, Batman gets back on his feet, rubbing the bruise that is quickly forming beneath his cowl.
“Ready to give up yet?” Superman asks smugly.
“Not on your life. This fight’s just getting started.”
Batman pulls out another Baterang and throws it as his opponent. Superman catches it with ease.
“Is that all you have left, Bats?” he asks with obvious disappointment. “I thought you would put up a better fight than this.”
Batman doesn’t answer, but presses a small button on one of his utility belt compartments. The Baterang that Superman holds becomes instantly electrified, shocking the Man of Steel so suddenly that he is unable to react. He finally throws it to the ground and gasps. Batman sniffs at the air.
“Ah, Charbroiled Loser, my favorite dish,” he says to the slightly smoking Superman with a smirk.
“That’s it, you’re goin’ down, Rat Face!” shouts the now enraged Superman.
Batman cries out in surprise as Superman lunges angrily. He flips just out of harms way and on top of one of the docked boats.
“Hey, calm down. I was only joking, you don’t have to take it so personally,” he says in an attempt to calm Superman.
“Joking, huh? Well, I hope you find this very amusing because I sure will!”
Superman once again shoots heat rays from his eyes, following Batman with them as he runs circles around the dock to avoid getting fried. Finally, he jumps behind on of the storage buildings, panting and grabbing the stitch in his chest. Now pulling off his cowl, he reaches back into to belt, bringing out, not a high-tech weapon, but his cell phone. He flips it open.
“Sorry, Clark, I didn’t want to resort to this,” he murmurs as he dials in a number. “Hello, Gotham Science Research Labs? Yes, this is Bruce Wayne, and I’m calling to inquire about the small meteorite you received last week. Yes, the green glowing one. I’d like it delivered to Gotham Docks… Yes, I’m willing to pay… Yes, I’m sure I want it… Two minutes? Yes, that’s fine, thank you.”
He puts the phone back into his belt and pulls his cowl over his head.
“Where are you, Bats?” Superman calls. “Didn’t run away, did you? I’m waiting!”
“Right here, Man-In-Tights!” he exclaims, jumping back into the open.
Batman shoots his grappling hook and it whirls around Superman, binding his arms to his sides. He blinks at his bindings, and then, flexing his muscles, breaks them easily.
“Are you kidding me?” he says to Batman. “That was pathetic; nothing that flimsy can hold me. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m practically invincible.”
Batman suddenly looks from Superman to the sky as a helicopter flies overhead. A hand suddenly appears in the window and tosses a small wrapped package into the air. To Superman’s surprise, Batman leaps up to grab it.
“You may be almost invincible, Superman,” he says as he begins to pull the wrapping off the object, “but almost doesn’t count.”
He rips the contents from the package. Batman now holds a small glowing chunk of Kryptonite about his head. Superman gasps and takes a step back.
“W-Where… How did you get that?” he stammers nervously.
“Bruce Wayne has made several generous contributions to the Gotham Science Research Labs, so they’re only too happy to provide him with something he needs,” Batman answers, taking a few steps towards Superman, a small triumphant smile beginning to appear on his face.
“You-You… No…” Superman gasps as he stumbles.
“This one goes to me, old buddy,” Batman says, almost laughing. “Sorry.”
“I… No, I can’t… C-Can’t l-lose…”
And with a groan of defeat, Superman falls over, unconscious. Still smiling, Batman drops the Kryptonite into a container in his belt, snapping the lid securely over it. He turns to leave but takes one last look at his opponent.
“Remember,” he says to the unconscious superhero, “no bleach.”
And he leaves the docks. After all, crime doesn’t sleep.

Winner: Batman!