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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #737092
Wait until next year!
Red Sox Rats


What is the allure with Fenway Park, the place Red Sox fans adore? After all, it is the scene of multiple meltdowns, maybe more than the Cubs at Wrigley. Now there’s a baseball park. Wrigley did not cost the taxpayers billions, yet it hearkens to baseball’s glory days, the days when fans were intimately connected to the game. Fenway is a dump; its puke green wooden walls enclose fans in a prison yard.

Lured to Fenway for the pleasure of a corporate box, I endure the game on a lazy summer’s eve. Midway through, the Red Sox take the field, shifting right for a left-handed batter. The batter is ready for the pitch. The pitcher starts his windup and then, out of the right field bullpen, a rat scampers onto the field.

It’s a big rat, not surprising considering where we are, Fenway nestled - a kind way to put it - among warehouses, rundown businesses and downtrodden restaurants not far from the swampy Charles River.

Fans notice the rat; we let out a collective gasp. Then, the right fielder sees the frisky fellow whisking past him toward first base. He gives chase, enough to prod the rat into his version of broken field running. The crowd cheers. As the rat nears first base, the umpire decides to take charge. He challenges the rat head on. By now, the crowd has picked our favorite and the rat does not disappoint us. He slows, stops and then charges straight for the umpire.

Big league umpires can move their ass when they need to. This one shows us some fancy footwork sidestepping the on comer like a matador gliding out of the bull’s path. The rat does look bigger than reality the nearer he gets to us in the stands.

What’s a rat to do as he faces tens of thousands? Duck into the nearest dugout, that’s what he does. It’s the Red Sox dugout. Players part like the Red Sea. The rat heads for the clubhouse, a smile on his face. The crowd is howling, delirious with joy. Nothing can be this good since the last time the Red Sox almost made the World Series.

Rats 1
Red Sox 0

Game over. There may have been a time when “red” sox kept vermin at bay. Not on this day.


***

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