This is a fic on Lilith. Sorry for the long wait, here's an updated version. |
Kyosuke Oeda wakes up from a dream, his sheets soaked in sweat, and his body sore. He is running, always running, from something he can’t see. But it is always there chasing after him. Eyes glowing it is the only thing he sees when he turns his head to check how much distance he put between himself, and the beast. Soon the contours of his room start to take shape again. His bookshelf, his computer, and study desk solidify and seem tangible again. He reaches to the edge of his desk and finds it hard, solid, definitely real he says to himself. Why is it always that damn fucking dream?, he says to himself, breathing hard and deep. In the dream he is in a dark wood and there is no light. The dark it seems is its own light, casting blacker shadows than its own. The woods itself has its own twisted design. The trees bend and turn at odd angles and the branches are long, thin, and crooked. A hundred thousand despairing hands reaching out to the sky. But there is no sky only a thick ceiling of darkness. There is no sound but the trickle of water in the dark. It is the only sound he hears as he runs besides that of his own two feet. How could a thing like that make no sound at all— looking for a way out— I’ve been breaking twigs wherever I go. 3 ‘o’ clock, great three hours ‘til school starts. Why do I always have that same dream? What’s it for? And why am I always running? He asks the dark inside of the room, but there is no answer. The dark just stands there, a hollow figure filling the room. Great I must be going stupid or something, talking to the dark as if it’s going to give me an answer, he goes back to sleep. Lying once again on his bed he says a prayer to his ancestors before closing his eyes and letting sleep settle in once more. **************** “Yo Kyosuke, up all night again— what id you do, look at a porn site again.” “No, like I’m the one who always has his face stuck in a porn comic book during—“ “Shhh keep your voice down, do you want to ruin my reputation.” “What reputation?” a smile playing on his face. It is quite rare for Kyosuke to ever chide his friend, Toga, because usually it is his friend Toga who lays all the jokes on him and chides him in between subjects. Toga is the only child of his parents, like Kyouske himself, so it came to no surprise to Kyosuke why so often he tease him. He understands the feeling himself. “So, what did kept you late last night, and not a porn site?” “I, had the same dream again.” “That again, I’ve always said you were rather—“ lowering his voice, so that the other classmates couldn’t hear,”— weird. But recurring dreams, that’s too weird for even for me, given we’re both boys— hey you haven’t switch to the other side you know,” he said with a chuckle. “No… and why would I?” “Just kidding man, you’re always too serious…” his friend’s voice just trailed in into the mush that is his classroom. Everyone else was doing his or her own thing. The girls sat in little groups throughout the classroom. Some were arranging their hair, others were doing make-up sessions with their friends or chatting on their phones. You could never see them apart. Aside from himself and Toga, the rest of class boys were either by the window or lounging at the classroom door. Talking about score sheets from last week’s game or just staring about, bored. The only activity seemed to stem out of the female counterparts of their class. The dream and everything it meant, or not meant was on his mind up to the time he entered his room and sat in his desk, trying to catch a few minutes of sleep before the starts. On the train he tried to diffuse the dream into its supposed individual symbolic elements, but the definitions in a dream dictionary he saw before didn’t add up for me. Forest. Darkness. Water. Running. Beast. All of these had a different meaning. He was brought out of his reverie by shrilly shout of their class representative who did her task to put them into order. A look from all other members in the class told Kyosuke he was the only one who wasn’t sitting neatly. Straightening himself up, he couldn’t avoid making a face towards his friend, Toga. But Toga, like the rest, had arranged himself neatly into his seat. So he readied himself for the stand-bow-sit procedure which him, and the rest of the class, despised. Stand. Greet. Bow. Sit. —And class was on its way, Kyosuke Oedo sat at his desk and waited as the usual roll call came into order. The monotone calling of names followed each in turn, the ‘yes’ that came in the same decibel tone. It took quite an amount of time these calling of names, Kyosuke look towards the soccer field outside as Hirose their class monitor, gave out the announcements of the day after their home room teacher, Mr. Nagawa, took in the call. “Before the class starts, I would like to introduce to you a new student”. A new transfer student, Kyosuke thought aloud, it’s the middle of the spring period, who would in their right mind transfer to a school in the middle of the year. By the nods and whimpers that broke out, the class was thinking the same thing. “Ahem—“ Mr. Nagawa said with emphasis, “now that I have your attention again, may I now continue…” Everyone straighten thmeslves out, even Kyosuke joined in the suit. Upon cue, a shorthaired girl entered the class. She was ordinary in frame or rather exceptionally thin. And given how her blouse fell on her top, she was considered flat chested by most of the boys in the class. But it was the eyes that drew the attention of the whole class. Crimson pink, an unusually rare eye color, and for a girl it was either seductive or terrifying, or even both. The boys tried to straight as well they can. Kyosuke was equally blown away by the depth of those eyes. “Her name is Yuri Aesuruan, please make her feel welcome.” It was quite perceptible in the eyes and concealed looks of the boys that she was very welcome. The girls on the other hand took a rather defensive stance to the new comer, none offered a seat to Yuri. “Okay, Yuri you can take the seat beside Mr. Oedo. Mr. Tanikawa transfer to the seat beside the door.” Every other boy’s face turn in Kyosuke’s direction not expecting this turn of events. The new girl next to the freak, Kyosuke knew already what the other boys was thinking at that point. Kyosuke wasn’t embarrassed by the whole situation, rather he enjoyed it. The thought of every other boy being envious over this flat-chested girl filled him. He was calm, compose, and lax. Before sitting down, Yuri Aesuruan flash him a smile. Kyosuke awkwardly played with his pencil. Yuri sat down, place her things in the space provided under the desk, and sat straight. Kyosuke couldn’t believe his cold lank demeanor didn’t phase the new comer. “You lucky dog—“ Toga whispered behind him “, you have the cute new comer sitting beside you!” **************** The Dream continues as it is— or rather the nightmare, Kyosuke is running again. There is no halt, no pause, no break in his running. Even if he wanted to stop and catch his breath, he couldn’t. The no sound in the forest gave him no chance to stop, not knowing where the beast was coming from was enough of a predator than the mere sight of it to keep him running at constant. The forest was still as menacing as ever, no bush to provide hiding, no low branches to break to give warning of the beast coming. All pointing up, irregular-shaped arms to the darkness above as if seeking for light. Those demented hands said to Kyosuke, we want to get out, we want to get out, we want to get out. Their futility Kyosuke felt as he believed each step he took was slow, heavy, and drudging. **************** Days passed since the incident and Kyosuke and Toga were feeling a little uptight now that Yuri knew they were talking about her. Kyosuke took a look-see at their new classmate. There was nothing exceptional about her. She wasn’t as fully formed as most of their other female classmates. And she wasn’t that pretty either, he thought. Some of the boys had formed a group around Yuri, talking to her, asking her to go out with them. Yuri listened to them attentively, laughing at their jokes, prettily refusing their request for dates and other ‘extra-curricular’ activities. The girls on the other hand viewed this sort of behavior as unethical on the part of a girl. And slutty as well, casual friendly refusals of affection aren’t the usual procedure. And going out with guys every so often, isn’t acceptable. Tasting all the fish in the pond and discarding them afterwards, made them feel they were settling for leftovers. Kyosuke couldn’t careless, every new girl or boy that have come into class has been met with some kind of jealous rivalry or disrespectful invasion of territory. It wasn’t anything new and everyone has gone through it, care less the faculty that ran the school. They mostly turn their heads and keep quiet, as these are, considered by them, part of the growing up in a school. **************** The nightmare still persists, he is still running again, and there is nothing he can do to change the situation. He tries to think of it as a byproduct of his imagination and tries to manipulate as so. But the nightmare sways off his words of control, as a willful horse discards the harness of his new master and runs. So he keeps running, breaking twigs wherever he goes. Looking left to right for some magical door to pop up. While behind him, the beast is chasing after him. He knows that now for sure. He can hear its breath in every direction. He knows that it is impossible but that is what he hears. **************** With Chem class being over, Kyosuke and Toga walked with the rest of the boys to the locker room, to change into their swimming trunks for their P.E. class. “Finally we’re having gym class with the girls again,” Toga remarked while taking off his shirt. “We already see enough of them at track & field whenever we’re in Couch Kimura’s class—“ “But it’s different this time—“ Toga placing his school clothes in his locker”—this time we get to see them in their swimsuits… and, we get to see Yuri in a swimsuit.” “As if she has something to give,” Kyosuke rebutted his friend’s wishful thinking. He knew Toga wasn’t the only one looking forward to seeing Yuri in a swimsuit. Every boy in the class had his mind on seeing the new girl in a swimsuit. And as if that wasn’t enough, for sure the school’s perverts would practically be there with their cameras, to take pictures of Yuri in a swimsuit. Walking along towards the entrance of the swimming pool, every other boy were making bets on the new girl’s vital statistics. Kyosuke and Toga were at the back of the group, Kyos’ke not wanting to join in the commotion. When the boys had entered the school pool, the girls were already performing their backstrokes. Huddling beside the pool, each was trying to find the new girl among the swimmers. “Always late as usual, you boys never learn. Stop with the staring and line up at the left end of the pool,” and Miss Anzaki blew her whistle and the boys did as instructed. Kyos’ke and Toga lined with the rest of the boys and waited while the girls did their rounds. The girls, at the other end giggled and laughed as the boys line up. Probably because we came late again Kyos’ke thought. The sun was bright even for a cloudy day such this, Kyos’ke looked up. The clouds weren’t that many so there was no indication of any possible rain for the day. Rain. Water. Kyos’ke remembered there was always the trickling sound of water in his dream. But he couldn’t remember where it came from. If it was in one direction or from all around. “Yuri Aes’ruan, you’re next,” Miss Anzaki shouted. Kyos’ke’s reverie was broken off because of it. Kyos’ke remembering where he was stood up straight, not noticing that Toga and the rest of the boys had broken off line and trying to look at Yuri. Yuri came up from behind and walked towards the launching pedestal of the pool. The boys shoved and pushed trying to get a better view of her figure. “Chisato Sato, Sai Asukawa,” Miss Anzaki called a few other girls to complete the line up. Once completed, Miss Anzaki blew her whistle and the girls dived into the water. Toga along with the other boys had edged themselves as close to the pool’s edge, to view the bodies in the water. Kyos’ke lean on the fence and waited for the commotion to end. After doing several rounds in the water, the girls surfaced, Yuri stood for a moment in front of the boys arranging her swimsuit. It was enough time for the boys. Yuri had thin yet lean arms, a small blossoming chest, a cute waist, and lean legs. Kyos’ke couldn’t help to look at the girl to confirm his suspicions on her. His eyes were greeted by Yuri’s nipples, which were pert against her swimsuit. Trying to get his eyes off her nipples that seem to be looking back at him. He found his eyes, not wanting on her crotch. Yuri’s swimsuit, without her notice, had lodge itself inside her crotch. A line had form at her lower waist giving full indication of its presence. Kyos’ke embarrassed at having looked turned his head away and look at the tress behind the pool. Alright boys, if you had enough of your staring, probably you’d like to do twenty laps in the pool— just to cool off,” Miss Anzaki shouted. The girls laughed as the boys grumbled over Miss Anzaki’s order. Sluggishly they fell in line in front of each pedestal. “Boy, isn’t Coach Anzaki being rough with us today—“ Toga whined “— we were just admiring their beautiful form, right Kyos’ke, Kyos’ke.” Kyosuke wasn’t listening to his friend, uncomfortable with the sudden stiffness he felt of his penis. He kept his head down for the duration of the exercise. Kyosuke still embarrassed at what had happen, fled to the library after school to compose himself. It is often at the library that Kyosuke found his safe haven away from the world. Unknown to his classmates, who didn’t thought of him as the type, Kyosuke would spend after school hours at the library when not with his friend Toga. The cold lax unattentive image he had in class was a defense mechanism he had formulated to keep others away from him. Uncomfortable with the stirring within himself, he felt he ad to go somewhere to control himself. Wanting to get his mind off of Yuri, he went to the bookshelf and at random, picked a book to read. “War and Peace”, good a thick one to get my mind off of that girl, he sat down to read. As he read he tried to discern the reasons for the sudden stiffening of his penis. He was quite aware that this was a natural thing for a boy, to have your penis turn erect at the sight of a very sexy woman. Other guys had joke about it, seeing one of their sexy teachers, and growing hard at it. He himself had gone hard before. But why among all the other girls in the class, it was with Yuri did he have his first real erection. There was nothing special in Yuri to elicit such a reaction, he thought. She, overly thin, flat chested, and not exceptional pretty. But the way her nipple pert up at him and how swimsuit suck into her crotch, arose in him a sexual feeling he had never experience before. Not even the porno pics Toga showed to him on his computer brought the same feeling he felt now. A squirming sensation where his dick was, of wanting to break free and run loose. A hard-on that wouldn’t let down [abate] or succumb no matter what reasoning he did to get Yuri’s crotch out of his mind. He continued to read the book, trying to let the images in the book flood out the sight of Yuri in a bathing suit. The wetness of her hair, how the droplets of water on her body glistened in the sun, how she stood there for a moment, letting them suck in the sight of her wet body. He tried to immerse himself further into the book. Dark orange rays had already entered the room by the time he stopped reading. The exercise was futile because it didn’t had the effect he wanted. Yuri was till very much on his mind. Tired from that reading— and the futility of erasing Yuri out of his mind, he gave himself a stretch and look around the room to see if there was anyone else there. Across the room at the table by the window sat Yuri reading a book, totally oblivious of his presence in the room. Kyosuke studied the lines of Yuri’s face as she read the book. They were solid, relax, without any indication of a break into a laugh or a yawn. Head propped on her left fist, she read the book casually yet slowly as if taking the words on the page. It wasn’t so far off, so Kyosuke was able to memorize each line of her figure. Her feet were criss-crossed under the table. It was the first time he noticed that she wore black knee-high socks as oppose to the standard white. The height of the socks and the shortness of her skirt seem to emphasize the expose area of flesh at the thighs and the secret place that all boys think of touching. The color and the expose flesh at the thighs made her look erotic. He could just imagine what choice of under pants she wore base on her socks. Finding his vision trailing off to somewhere beyond his only intent, he stuck his eyes again on the book he was reading. After reading a passage or two, he gauge his luck that she didn’t notice his spying and look up again. She wasn’t there. Where did she go, surprise by the sudden disappearance of his target, I only read a page or two and she’s gone. He laid down the book and look around to see where she went. She must have returned the book she was reading, leaning over his table to take a peek at the bookshelves close to her table. “So what book are reading now?” Startled, he stood up straight before turning around to see who was the one that startled him. It was Yuri. She stood behind the chair he was sitting, her hands behind her waist. She was smiling at him. Taken aback, he stood there frozen while she stood there smiling. “So what are you reading?” she said again when he didn’t readily answer. “War and Peace”, after a pause within utterance of her question. “Tosloi always wrote of war and sex all the time,” she said matter-of-factly, he was surprise of the casualness of her opinion as if she knew of this writer more. “Never thought you were so interested in those things,” trailing her index finger along the spine of the book. “You should try reading this instead,” as she laid down a book beside the one he was reading and walk out of the library. When he was sure that she was a distance away from the library, he turned to the book she put on the table. He was further surprised when he read the cover of the book, “Inferno” by Dante Alighiri. **************** He is the nightmare again. The sound of trickling water can be heard in the distance, he goes towards it. The forest still looms around him, covering every spar of idstnace he has taken. There is no end to this, he thinks, dark tall figures surround him wherever he goes as if to impede his movements. Black twisted giants reaching out him, wanting him to join them in their suffering. They never let go. He is tired, battered, and weak, his body covered in sores; his feet swollen and arms dangling as he runs as he could. The beast is still after him. He looks around, straining his neck to see where the water was; in order to refresh himself and possibly, lose the beast there. The sound seems weak and distant, he moves in its direction even if it is faint and weak and possibly could be nothing than a mere stream. How far had I run, and why is it all I see are thses damn trees? Why is it, I can’t break its scent? Weary and daze, his right foot gets caught by an expose root and falls down, his face gets grazed by some twigs scattered about. Trying to bear the pain, he tries to get up. As he turns his head to look, the beast is right behind him. Fatigued as he was, he could barely make out its form. It had claws on its hands and feet, and bat wings on its head and feet; a pair also protruded from the back. The eyes were blood-red and painful to look at. He saw the mouth, a corona of fangs, a serpentine tongue sticking out, as it came down upon him. **************** Kyosuke woke up screaming in his bedroom. It was the first time, he saw the beast up close. He was aware of its presence in the dream, but never has seen he seen it, until now. He never believed in these things. He saw the eyes before a couple of times, but thye were way distant for him to make out its form. The corona of fangs and the serpentine that seem to lash out of its own accord, was the most terrifying thing about it. He could just imagine how his skull could be turn to bits in one nip. He sat up and turned on the night lamp on his desk. There on the study area of his desk the book that Yuri asked him to read. Leafing to the last part he read before going to sleep, he was surprised how much the dark forest in his dream matched the dried, withered forest in the passage he read from the book. How could my dream look so much alike ‘The Wood of Suicide’ in this book, looking at the appendix he read the interpretation of that passage in the book. It was the place where those who committed suicide where laid to rest. As well as those who committed violence against another’s property and also their own. The wailing wind that passed through the forest was suppose to be the voices of those who took their own lives and those that destroyed property. But no mention in the passage nor in the appendix was given os the beast he saw in the dream. “’Inferno’ by Dante Alighiri” in red letters on a black cover, with an illustration of what seem to be a pit of circular layers. Why in the hell did Yuri recommend that I read the book? placing the book again on his study desk. Taking a long look at the cover before going to sllep again. Can’t be… how could she…, turning off his night lamp. **************** A week has passed after the incident and strange as it is, the nightmare had ended. Autumn was about to have its final fall before the winter could settle in. kyosuke was walking along the line of tress at the back of the student building, he wasnted to be alone for a moment. Yuri never approached him again after the one at the library. Nor did she try to tease him in class. The whole incidnet seem like a bad dream that is in, and upon waking is forgotten in the morning. Well not all, he thought. She never appeared again on the roof again or at the library. He wondered whether her approach had a invested interest or a plain catching fancy, like she liked him. As if any girl had a liking to him in the past few years. His past three years in junior high and that of his first senior high year faded without even a note under his desk. Why would any girl have any interest in him now, he thought. He toyed with the idea of Yuri having a crush on him and imagined the faces of his other male classmates and that of Toga. He grinned a bit as he did. Some of the students had piled up the fallen maple leaves into small hills, ready for the incinerator. Some had taken upon themselves to burn the leaves, roasting yams as they did for the autumn fall. Kyosuke walked on the edge of the trees, keeping away from the other students. The ground was brown with the scattered remains of dried leaves that have been step upon. The air smelled of dry leaves and twigs that were being burned. Finind the air stingy to the eyes, Kyosuke moved farther away from the place and further into the trees. After a while he came upon the school locker room for PE equipment. The sun was beginning to settle in as its last rays left a yellow-orange blaze outlining the horizon. Checking his watch it was already six-o clock. Toga must be finished with cleaning duties by now, turning back to head towards the student building. Wait a minute, by this time he must be in the locker room by now. I’ll just walked around and head straight for the student entrance. Changing direction, he runded the locker room and headed for the student entrance of the building. As he did, he noticed that the door was left ajar. Stupid idiot forgot to lock up the door, moving towards the door in order to close it. As he place his hand on the handle, muffled sounds could be heard from the inside. What the hell, he tried to take a look. Seeing nothing but the platform stand for gymnastics and caged locker for the other sports equipment, he moved his face closer to the door to get a better look on the inside. He could now make out the direction where the muffled sound came from, but couldn’t see anything. Sounds like it’s coming from the behind the locker, trying to look around the room by rotating his left eye, but I can’t see anything. He moved a step away from the door, carefully backing away as to not make his presence known. Must be some couple making out in the locker room, as he headed to the side of the room adjacent to the edge of the tress, yeh some couple who finds it cute having sex within the school compound. Leaning on the wall close to the tress, Kyosuke stood there, deciding what to do next. Should I go in there and stop whoever are in there…or just leave them alone to do it. Their stupid fault, if the girl gets pregnant, he sneered as he thought about it. Turning his body around, he looked around the corner and the door as he had left it. Nobody has come out yet. He waited for five minutes, still nobody came out. Taking it as a cue, he slid towards the door. As he came by it, it seem whoever was inside had abandoned all care to the outside. Groaning and moaning could be herad in volumes. Kyosuke crept towards the window. One of the glass panes was slid open and the vertical blinds were partially closed. Leaning his head a bit to take a peek at what was going on. In the dimly-lit room, he could see a guy grasping with both hands the legs of a girl. Their position had her spreaded, with him in between her thighs, legs slightly elevavted. His pants were off and so were his shoes. The girl on the other had her shoes on and her socks. They were knee-high socks; they dangled in the air. The guy’s hand roughly grasped the girl’s legs by the area above the knees. Groanong as he kept thrusting himsself in in hard, slow successions, keeping the legs hoist high as he did. The girl gave equivocal amounts of hard apnting as he did, Kyosuke could had sworn that the girl’s panting wa difficult. Since the guy had his back towards the window, Kyosuke couldn’t recognize the guy. Neither the girls since the guy fucking her seem to cover all her frame, pulling in and out hard. Stopping, the guy laid down the girl’s legs and sat on his calves. The girl’s knees appeared on both sides of his feet. Her arms appeared around the guys back. The guy’s amrs slid down diagonally. Trying out a different position. The panting and moaning continued again, but this time the guy moaned while the girl panted. Kyosuke couldn’t see still the face of the guy and the girl. The girl’s thighs rose and fell hard and fast in increasing movements. The guy groan every after each succession, the girl’s panting grew harder and more strained. Must be propelling her ass to it, Kyosuke thought still trying to find out who they were. “More, more you bitch…” the guy howled out, “… it will take more than that to make me come.” The girl seemed to follow what the guy said, kyosuke notice as the girl work faster and harder, gasping hard as she did. The guy groan and kept on telling the girl to move faster. Must be some freshman, Kyosuke looked on with mock interest, watching as the couple moved like two frantic beast. Animals, he thought, those only interest lay in the exumberant display of their beastly genetic instinct. Man is only an animal, and like all animals, will seek to act out their aggressive tendencies either in combat or reproduction. The guy seem to Kyosuke a furless gorilla forcing itself on its weaker mate. It was disgusting since the guy had half his clothes on, doing it in a rush. Remembering where he was, he peered through again at what was happening. The guy, not content, took it into his own hands. Literally. Kyosuke saw that the guy’s shoulders and arms moved vigorously, growling as he did. The girls’ arms had wrapped themselves around the guy and she panted as if trying to catch air. Her fingers curled and dug into the guys back and the guy’s voice seem to mimick an ape’s voice. Kyosuke now notice that his penis had expanded, causing it to be terribly tight. He felt an urge to open his pants and masterbate— he shoved away the idea. The girls’ panting had now turn into desperate attempts for air and comfort. The guy’s voice was irrationally inhuman— the girl’s fingers had dug deep into the guy’s back. When he look at the guy’s head, he saw on the right shoulder the girl’s head propped on it. His heart beat stopped. The girl’s eyes looked at him in mock triumph, locking his eyes as they did. A small grin appeared on what he expected as an exasberated face. It was Yuri. She smiled at him as the guy grolwed and worked her behind into his member. A triumphant grin, as if she was the one in control and the one that that labored, was the guy. Kyosuke couldn’t turn his head away. His eyes were transfixed onto the debauchery that was happening. His member now feeling more engorged, a feeling of pressure building arose. Yuri’s grin had change into a sweet smile as she now, he realized, pretended to breath for air. Kyosuke moved back slowly and rather stiffly, trying to move his body away. His eyes not turning away but focused on Yuri’s face, as she continued smiling at him as she was being thump. **************** The following day, Kyosuke sat in in his desk during math class. Trying to keep his attention on the lesson at hand, Kyosuke sat up straight and look at the teacher. Yuri sat beside him on the seat assigned to her. It was hard to keep his attention in one place. Involuntarily his eyes shot glances at Yuri, to find out if she turned her head toward him during class. She acted normally and listened to the teacher as he explained a problem on the board. The cover of her pen traced imaginary patterns on her notebook, bored as the rest of the class were in the teacher. He couldn’t imagined how she could sit there, appear bored and unconcern while she knew that he saw her making out with a guy on the school premises. He could expose her secret she knew, but she sat there without looking at him or passing a note, to plea not to expose her secret. But the smile that he saw when he caught her said it all. Tell my secret and I’ll deny it, and everyone will know you’re a pervert. But it was impossible to think so. “Aesuruan-san, do this problem on the board.” Yuri got out of her chair and walk toward the board leisurely. Her red pleated skirt swayed from left to right as she did. Kyosuke remebered Yuri wore black knee-high socks, a thing he didn’t thought about as he saw her yesterday. Her calves appeared smooth and unbruised, as if the rough hands that held them that late afternoon didn’t leave their mark. He recalled those rough, sweaty hands and he became envious of their possesion. He look back towards the teacher, uncomfortable with the thought he just had. Yuri just started performing the problem on the board. Her back to the class, Kyosuke peered at Yuri. It was the first time that Kyosuke studied her frame for the first time. Her lean white arms moved on the board with uncharisteristic smoothness, they weren’t the lanky, skinny arms he first saw them to be. He recalled how her nails had raked on the guy’s back; deep, hard, amrs that had a strength of their own. She tip her head to the side and now he look at her neck. It appeared silky almost too fine for such a neck, the creaminess was almost too inviting as if to tongue it would be sacrilege. Kyosuke suddenly loathe the idea that such a brute could had his mouth on such a beautiful neck. Looking further down at the waist, Kyosuke saw an inch high of her expose mid-riff. It had no excess fat on the side and was smooth and lean; He recalled how the guy roughly had his hands on her waist and propelled her onto to him— he wanted to kill the guy. He found his eyes on the dge of her skirt, at the area in between the thighs. Kyouke’s left hand edge hard on his desk, he became mad at the guy’s intrusion into Yuri’s secret place. His fingers clawed at the desk in a rage unknown to them, that Kyosuke didn’t notice til the wood dug into the flesh under his finger nails snapping out of his trance. Yuri was already back in her chair and jutting down the next problem. Kyosuke frowned as he looked at the blood that at his fingertips. Feeling the sting of wood under his fingetips, Kyosuke focussed on the pain that seared through him. Kyosuke sat in the school nurse’s office during lunchtime, he looked at his left hand’s fingertips that was now puffing with bandages. His fingers still stung even after the extraction, the tips had swelled by the time he went to the school nurse’s office after class. Kyosuke lean on his the backrest of the chair and raise his left arm toward the light and stared at it. He was excused from the rest of his classes for thart day, but not without a scolding from his class advisor. He didn’t listened. His head was bowed for the entire sermon, looking down at his left hand. Kyosuke looked at his hand while the procedure was undergoing. Denied the use of an anesthetic, Kyosuke beared with the pain as the nurse oddly extracted the pieces of wood from under his fingernails using only a small metallic tweezer as she did so. His hand looked somewhat grotesque as the pieces of wood jutted out underneath his fingernails. They looked like claws, jagged, rough, and ugly extensions of his fingers; with blood dripping through them, as if after a fresh kill. Painful as it was, it seemed to him that the wooden splinters were rightly placed, a missing piece to his left hand. Did it hurt as much for Yuri when she dug her nails into that guy’s back? And why the fuck did that all happen? Why should I care if some senior pumps her ass? She isn’t my girlfriend— I’m not even a friend of hers, we’re just schoolmates in one lousy class. A bunch of morons who think they’re better than me because they’re normal and I ain’t. it’s not like I’m in love with her or something— The last thought struck an uncomfortable cord in his psyche. As if a small leaf had fallen upon the surface of a pond causing ripples to spread out. It disturbed the cold, lank image he had sought to maintain. The thought laid like a leaf on the surface of the pond, lodging itself onto it changing it. Until it floats along onto a bank or, slowly absorb the water around it, become soggy, and descend to the depths of the pond and spoil it. Falling in love was something he didn’t had in mind. — besides, she’s screwing around with some other guy and— he recalled the smile she gave him that day when he saw her. He remembered the day he saw her on the roof, the wind swaying her skirt and her teasing them as she caught them staring at her. And the way her swimsuit clung to her, empahsizing her nipples that were almost erect and her center seem to ate at her swimsuit. His right hand went to his pants, finding a small lump in between his legs. The nurse was out and he was all alone, the door and windows were close. He opened his zipper and unbuckled his pants. Drawing out his penis, he felt awkward holding it. Recalling what his friend Toga told him about ejaculating, he held it hard and began to stroke it. It hurt as he did. Finding it painful after awhile, he loosen his hand a bit and moderated his stroke. He felt his member getting harder, th tip swelling red and itching hot. A pressure had began to build and he moved his hand faster. He tried to imagine Yuri’s pussy as it ate her bathing suit and imagine it eating his penis instead. Before it could materialize, Kyosuke gave right away and fell all weak. There, in between his fingers was a dirty-white goowie substance that was suppsoe to be his semen. Taking out his handker chief with his lefthand, he wipe the substance off his hands. Remembering where he was he hoisted up his pants and buckled it up. He hid his handkerchief inside his school bag. Finding his hand all sticky, he wash his hand by the sink. He felt strangely good, as if the muscles in his body relax and winded down. Is this how Toga feels after ejaculating to a porn pic, feeling tired and oddly satsified. The nurse wasn’t back yet, drain and not wanting to move, Kyosuke went to one of the vacant beds in the school nurse’s office and fell asleep. **************** Half-past five, Kyosuke woke up to a vacant office as if nobody had been around yet. Must had dozed off really good if I woke up this late and didn’t hear the bell, Kyosuke smoothen the wrinkles on his pants and shirt before he got out of bed. Mrs. Eoya must have stuck out somewhere, as Kyosuke looked around the room. Guess she forgot to wake me, stepping out of the school nurse’s office and walked to his classroom, I wonder if Toga is still in the room, although I doubt if he’d still be there, he usually hangs outside after this. It was quite dim in the hallways as Kyosuke headed for his classroom. The hallway was already devoid of students, not even a handful were around as he passed by the lower year sections. Some doors weren’t close showing the interior of those rooms, like the ones that were close not a single person still laid in those rooms. Turning a corner, Kyosuke passed through the side of the building that faced the tracking field. The lights were still left on, a precaution to dispell the idea in the minds of the students to use the field for any other purpose than it was suppose to be for. The sky was partially grey, flecks of yellow-orange darted here and there above the horizon. Going up the stairs, he wondered if eveyone was out by now. Walking the second floor where his section was in, Kyosuke trotted along not caring if the teacher in charge of the night watch caught him dangling around. Kyosuke kind of enjoyed this bleak solitude; it seemed to suit the semi-darkness that pervaded. Kyosuke found his room quiet, empty, like all the other rooms he passed. Guess Toga really must had left, no message was written on the board as to where he went as Kyosuke looked at the blackboard. He walked along the aisle to his chair and sat on it for a moment. No note here as well, as he searched under it. Kyosuke stared about the entire room, measuring the silence. His stare rested on the chair across his. Looking at the chair, Kyosuke wondered what happened after his sudden burst of insanity as the nursed coined his expression of rage upon his desk. How did his class reacted to his sudden tantrum in class— must be talking how crazy I am again, trailing his left index finger on the gash on his desk where his right hand had clawed in. Looking at it now, it seemed rather pathetic and stupid of him to scrape his fingers on the board. He made only a short gash on his desk, the wood hardly broke; only the outer plywood layer of the board was chipped off, the wood below was perfectly intact. However, the gash was redden with the caked blood that had dried on it. It gave the desk an odd look as if the wood had oozed out the sap that once was there, but now dead. It felt strange, his blood upon the wood as if he was the desk himself, screaming out blood in order to speak. Turning from his desk, he looked again at the desk in which Yuri sat in. Kyosuke wondered what was her reaction to his outburst. Was she shocked, frighten, or dumbfounded as to why he did it. He dreamily hoped that she was worried over him. He stood, walked towards the chair, and sat on it. He felt the wood underneath him and imagined how Yuri sat in that chair, lazily taking part in the class and not volunteering for anything unless called for. He tried to feel her impression upon the wood as if she had left any tangible semblance of herself on it. He imagined the feeling of her skirt rumpled in between her ass and the chair. The caress of her elbows on the desk as she gazed out towards the window sometimes. And the feeling of her as she leaned back on the back rest stretching out her arms after a long boring day in class. Touching the desk with his left hand, he tried to be one with the chair that held Yuri’s body and visualize the feel of her form. **************** Dim had already settled in the room, when Kyosuke broke off from his revelrie. He turned his body facing the window and rubbed his hands over his eyes. The sky had turn the color of gray and a thin line of light stretched across the horizon. The night was beginning to settle in. Kyosuke stood from Yuri’s chair and walked towards the window. The tress stood still, frozen in the transition of day into night, not a leaf moved or fell. The bushes under them echoed the same stillness, none of them moved. The wind had seemed to die out and didn’t move around the campus. Everything was perfectly still. Kyosuke looked away from the tress and towards the pond that lay in the center of the trees. A lone figure stood at the pond’s end. Who could that be, Kyosuke thought as he continued looking at the figure, and why in the hell is he standing there. Maybe it’s Toga, maybe he got brushed off by a girl he’s courting, Kyosuke took his bag and went out of his classroom. Don’t recall Toga courting any girl around campus, Kyosuke ran down the stairs rushing to the shoe locker room at the entrance. Wonder why he didn’t tell me, Kyosuke pondered over his friend’s lack of trust in him, as if I’ll have somebody to tell it to anyway. Must had thought I’ll tease him about it as payback for those times I told him I had a crush on a certain girl before. Finally in the shoe locker room, Kyosuke took off his in-house shoes and change to his black loafers. Wonder what I’ll say when I meet up with him at the pond, closing his shoe locker, Kyosuke went out of the building and towards the pond. |